Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
As she got into the car, she suddenly remembered what Nate had said to her the first morning after her date with Matthias.
She had been teasing him about it, acting like he was worried about her, which was new at the time, and he had said he wasn’t worried about her; he was worried about anyone who’d spent time alone with the man.
She fastened her seatbelt and turned to look at him as he pulled away from the curb. “What did you know about Matthias before I did?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t know anything.” His answer was too quick.
“You obviously did, because you told me you were worried about anyone left alone in the same room as him. Who says that about someone they know nothing about?”
He shrugged and looked out the window, pretending to consider the oncoming traffic for a lot longer than was necessary or believable. “Just, you know, in general,” he said, glancing at her. Seeing her expression, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Maybe I was just jealous. Did you ever consider that?”
Well, no, she hadn’t. Why would she have?
“I had absolutely no reason to think that at the time,” she replied, annoyed.
“Come on, you must’ve known there was at least a little something,” he said, his voice dropping to a low and attractive tone. “I know I wasn’t that good at hiding it.”
The prickle of annoyance that she felt growing in her chest spiked painfully as her heart rate rose to his tone; there was no way he didn’t know what he was doing.
“Stop that,” she said. “You don’t get to just be all sexy and have me drop whatever I’m asking you about.”
“You think I’m sexy?” he asked mischievously, shooting her a flirtatious smirk.
“No, I think you’re revolting. But you’re avoiding the question, and honestly, it’s starting to drive me crazy. I can never get a straight answer out of you, ever.”
“Roma, come on?—”
“No! I just want a freaking answer!”
“You haven’t asked me a question.”
“Fine.” She huffed. “Do you actually have feelings for me, or are you just playing me? Because I’m starting to think you don’t care at all.
And while you’re probably almost as good-looking as you think you are, I don’t want this back-and-forth crap where one moment we’re falling asleep on the couch together, and the next, you’re pretending you don’t know me in public! ”
She hadn’t expected any kind of emotional outpouring in return, but how could he not react at all?
He simply sat there, driving carefully and checking his mirrors.
Resisting the urge to keep talking until she got a reaction, Roma began picking at the painful hangnail on her thumb.
People always told her she wasn’t direct enough in her relationships, but apparently, that didn’t work, either. The silence was maddening.
An involuntary scoff caused Nate to look over at her, and she saw that he was…upset? Maybe just angry; she couldn’t quite tell. As the silence dragged on, her frustration finally pushed her over the edge.
“It seems I was right. I really am that stupid,” she said, hating how defeated she sounded.
“You obviously don’t care, and I’m just some dumb idiot you figured you could charm into a friends-with-benefits thing.
Well, let me just shut down that idea right now.
You don’t get to reel me in and push me away whenever you want. You might not care, but?—”
“I do care,” he snapped. “I care way more than I should. But you’re right; I shouldn’t be so hot and cold with you like I’ve been. I should stay away from you. I just can’t seem to make myself do it, and I’m terrified one or both of us will end up hurt.”
She didn’t know what to say in response to any of it, and so they sat in silence for the rest of the drive.
The car was quiet, but her mind wasn’t. She pored over every word he had just said.
What did he mean by saying he should stay away from her?
Why should he? She hadn’t actually considered it seriously before, but did he have a long-distance girlfriend or something?
She hadn’t yet found a way to express what she was feeling when they pulled up outside her house. Nate didn’t say anything either, so she opened the door, ready to exit the car.
But before she had both feet on the road, he called out, “Wait. Aside from all this, if you need help, call me. If you think something is weird, or you discover something about the disappearance, just call me.”
“Sure,” she replied before climbing out of the car, slamming the door, and marching toward her house without even checking if the patrol car that had been following them was still there.
The house was quiet, which was almost what she wanted. Just to be away from anything bright and flashing, loud, or painful.
Painful, mostly, but the other things mattered, too.
Nebula watched her from the corner of the couch, her feline eyes tracking her movement through the kitchen. Normally, Roma would’ve tried to cautiously approach for a pat, but right now, she just needed to curl up into a ball on the couch and not think about anything.
Rather than attempting to act natural and try for a quick pat as she walked by, she moved to the other end of the couch and stretched out, readjusting a throw pillow between her back and the armrest.
Movement caught her eye, and she looked up to see the sleek black cat tiptoeing across the back of the couch toward her.
A strange, half-hearted warmth filled her chest. She was glad the cats finally didn’t seem afraid of her, but the feeling was muted now, almost like when you eat too much ice cream and the cold starts to overpower the flavor.
She huffed as the cat jumped down from the back of the couch and onto her stomach.
The cat didn’t notice as she stalked forward to brush her whiskers against Roma’s face.
“Gee, thanks,” she said, trying not to open her mouth too much.
After enough face rubbing, Nebula circled once and dropped into a little loaf on Roma’s chest.
With a sigh, she dared to run a hand along the cat’s back. “How did I get here, huh?”
Nebula didn’t have any feline wisdom to impart, but she did start purring.
The day her life in New York had fallen apart, the day she was let go. That was where it stemmed from. Asha offering her a place to live…
The contract she found kept bothering her. She had planned to ask her friend about it, but with everything else going on, it kind of slipped her mind.
It wasn’t getting fired that ruined her life. It was Helion. When that slimy weasel tried to frame her for his embezzlement.
That didn’t sit right, either.
Until they fired her, Helion had been kind to her. Even before the truth came to light, they had to help her with her defense; she only stayed at Helion because David couldn’t keep it in his pants.
Shooting a glare at the hallway that led to the guest bedroom, she wondered how much her life would be different if she hadn’t caught him with another woman. Would they still be together, or would they have broken up for some other reason?
It was too much. Everything sounded like a bad joke. She also felt uneasy about Harper. Why was she still here on the island if she had hurt Matthias?
A different question troubled her just as much. Harper hadn’t seemed interested in actually hurting her—and she knew the woman wasn’t averse to hurting people. But why? She appeared more focused on discovering what Roma knew.
Sure, that might’ve been a ruse to make her think she was safe, but it didn’t feel that way.
Roma’s eyes drifted shut as the sound and sensation of Nebula purring against her ribcage lulled her gently to sleep, even as thoughts of hit men, kidnappings, and why she was still alive whirled around her mind.