Chapter 20
‘If you’d told me, even a week ago, that I’d be walking the shore of Lake Garda hand in hand with someone, I’d have laughed,’ Tad said.
Amy felt his fingers tighten around her own and smiled. ‘Me too,’ she said.
‘You taking pity on me then, or something?’ he said, but his tone was light, highlighting his joke.
Amy laughed. ‘No, I mean I couldn’t have imagined this for myself, either.’
Her eyebrows furrowed as she took stock of her situation, tried not to think too hard about what was happening, instead tried to cling to the edges of her feelings.
The sensible side of Amy was telling her not to get too invested, that there wasn’t any point allowing herself to slide too far into this – whatever ‘this’ was – that she should go with the flow and enjoy it for what it was. A moment in time.
The last thing she needed to do was to fall into the same trap as she had with Shaun.
Then, she’d gone in with both feet, followed in short order by the rest of her, submerged and absolutely all in within days of meeting him.
Sensible Amy told herself that had been her mistake, and only an idiot would make the same mistake again.
And yet, there was a niggling voice at the back of her mind suggesting that she was already all in with Tad.
Regardless of what might be the sensible option.
After all, they hadn’t dabbled around the edges of one another’s bodies the night before – never mind submerging, that had been deep-sea diving in comparison.
It had also been one of the most enjoyable nights Amy had spent in, well… in forever.
The memory of it had parts of her body instantly warm, and she blew out a long breath as she tried to collect her thoughts.
Tried to persuade herself that great sex wasn’t the same as falling in love with someone, that there was so much more to a proper relationship – and there was no way she was going to have the opportunity to find any of that out with Tad, not with the deadline on her stay at Casa del Cibo counting down louder than the chiming of the hour in the enormous tall clocktower they were walking past.
‘There’s a great gelato shop a bit further along here,’ Tad was saying, striding with purpose across the wide, cobbled pedestrianised area.
Amy tugged him to a stop. ‘Would you mind if we take a moment here,’ she said, keen to take in her surroundings. ‘This is sensational.’
‘Aye, of course. Is it terrible to say I think I’m getting used to this place?’ he said. ‘I don’t stop and stare like I did when I first arrived.’
‘Like I am, you mean?’ She grinned as she turned a complete circle.
Down here by the lake the sun shimmered across the water – clear and an almost impossible shade of azure – while the view out across the lake was framed by mountains, lush green with fir trees on the lower slopes, giving way further up to rock and maybe even a hint of snow at their pinnacles.
It was like something out of a fairy tale; wherever she looked was equally beautiful.
The view out across the lake was matched by the one in the opposite direction.
Perfectly proportioned, beautiful old buildings sporting a pastel rainbow of colour lined this pedestrianised square.
Almost every one of those buildings was fronted by tables and chairs of their ground-floor restaurants and cafés, linen tablecloths and discreet awnings an elegant foil to the colourful mishmash of the bright clothing of the people enjoying a coffee, or a dish of pasta, or simply resting for a moment.
‘Take all the time you need,’ he said.
It took Amy a moment to realise that even though the setting was incredible, using up all the superlatives she could think of, there was something even better about this place.
It was as though the gravitas of the setting was having a direct effect on the people.
When Hugh had mentioned the effect of the view out from Monte Baldo’s summit, how it went some way to rebalance a person’s equilibrium, she’d had a vague idea what he meant.
But standing here, watching people getting on with their day, whether they lived, worked or were simply holidaying here, she felt an overwhelming sense of calm.
She frowned as she took it all in: local kids sitting on the low wall, chatting amiably and rapidly as they held rods, lines dangling expectantly into the water; cyclists pottering through the area with no intention of pedalling hard; tourists wandering; local suppliers walking to restaurants and cafés with boxes of fruit and vegetables held aloft.
It was a million miles away from the sense of hustle and hype Amy was used to experiencing with Billie and yet there remained a vibrancy to the place it was hard to describe.
Everyone retained a sense of purpose, even if they weren’t going at it like bulls in a china shop.
It was refreshing, as though it was somewhere specifically designed to allow people to breathe.
‘I like it very much,’ she said. A totally inadequate sentence, and yet Tad seemed to understand. He nodded and smiled.
‘I know. It’s something, isn’t it?’
They began to walk again, crossing the remainder of the square, taking the path meandering past some mature trees set in pockets of planting, with comfortable-looking mesh benches situated to make the most of the shade.
As they walked, a tourist paddle boat pulled away from the quay, slapping its way through the water as it carried its passengers out across the lake.
‘Not all of Riva is as picturesque as this,’ Tad was saying. ‘Obviously there are some less picture-perfect parts…’
‘Burst my bubble, why don’t you?’ she said.
Tad laughed, retaking her hand. ‘Don’t worry, they put up warning barriers so unwary tourists don’t stray there by accident and end up giving Riva a one-star review.’
‘And you’re joking again?’
‘Aye. But what I’m trying to say is that although this is a holiday destination, and the old town is stunning, it’s also a working town, you know? There are parts like this where it’s easy to get caught up with the magic of the place, but it still has to have all the mechanics of modern life.’
‘Are you saying don’t fall for its gorgeous exterior before you find out how it truly ticks?’ she said.
Tad stopped. Frowned. Grinned. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe falling for a gorgeous exterior isn’t such a bad idea.’
‘And we’re still talking about Riva?’
They stared at one another, the beat of time stretching until he swallowed, his throat bobbing before he raised his eyebrows. ‘Aye. What else would you be falling for?’
You…
The word was so close to her lips she had to press them together to stop herself from saying it. Her throat tightened with the effort of not blurting it out, and she held her breath until she could trust what would come out if she spoke.
‘Oh, I have no idea,’ she managed to say, pasting a light-hearted grin on her face. ‘There’s so many things about Riva to choose from.’
Her flippancy didn’t seem to evaporate the intensity of the way they were staring at one another. Neither of them moved, and then she felt his fingers wrapping their way around her free hand, closing their own circle as effectively as castle battlements.
‘Not from where I’m standing, there aren’t,’ he said.
Her grin faded, replaced by a frown, which Tad must have misinterpreted, because he let her hands drop and turned to walk on.
‘Sorry,’ he said, shaking his head and walking away.
Amy caught up to him, keeping pace with him as he headed around a fortressed building, surrounded by a moat in which tens of tiny boats were moored. ‘What are you sorry about?’
‘I thought, after last night, you might appreciate a bit of reassurance. There’s no pretending that this – us – whatever is happening between us this week hasn’t come as a surprise to me. I want you to know that whatever happens is OK with me. I’m not going to hold you to anything.’
Amy’s frown deepened. ‘You make it sound like you think I do this a lot.’
Tad ran a hand across his forehead. ‘That’s not what I meant. Not at all. I mean I don’t want you to feel under any kind of pressure. From me.’
‘Pressure?’ Amy felt a bolt run hot and cold up and down her spine. It sounded as though Tad was giving her an out. Was that because he wanted one for himself?
‘I didn’t go looking for this, for you… But now you’re here, and…
I know I can come across as being a bit intense, that’s all.
I don’t want you to feel it as pressure, is what I’m trying to say.
Because I really like you, Amy, but I’m also painfully aware you’re only here for another handful of days. ’
She nodded. Way too early to be talking about a long-distance thing, then.
She knew it was, and something Billie had said in the dim and distant past chose that moment to pop into the front of Amy’s mind.
She’d said it was always better to burn fast and hard.
Better to make the most of someone, enjoy them while she could, because holiday romances never went the distance.
Billie was cynical, no doubt about it, but Amy wondered if she might have a point.
‘Better make the most of the next few hours, then,’ Amy said, pushing all the things she wanted to say to Tad to one side, taking his hand and painting a bright smile on her face. ‘Come on, you promised me ice cream, remember?’
* * *
Tad smiled, took Amy’s hand and led the way to the gelato shop.
He’d tried to let her know where his head was – scrambled – had blurted out some nonsense about pressure and intensity.
Where the hell had that come from? What he wanted to say was that he hadn’t felt like this about anyone since he’d met Honor, all those years ago.
But he’d wanted to do it without bringing up her name again.
Even someone with Tad’s lack of subtlety was aware that referencing his long-since-lost partner wasn’t the way to go with someone new.