Chapter 32
The words didn’t come close to explaining what had gone on in the days after Amy returned to the UK, the turmoil as Billie tried and failed to reclaim Kelly.
For once, most of what had gone on had remained behind closed doors, hadn’t appeared on social media or the mainstream – that was until Kelly had appeared on the chat show in America and had, in an attempt to make light of their time together, utterly thrown Billie’s feelings under the bus.
They’d watched the episode together, Billie clinging on to Amy’s hand at first, then stalking around the room as anger took control.
Malcolm had phoned, as soon as the show was finished, and Billie cried – sobbed down the phone to him.
Malcolm had arrived twenty minutes later and between them, he and Amy got Billie through the darkness of that night and into the brighter light of the following day.
Amy knew what she had to do – knew she had to find a way of making Billie understand that the way Kelly had treated her was not dissimilar to the way Billie herself had treated many of those around her, both in her private and professional life.
And even though Hugh had told her Casa del Cibo would weather any storm Billie could throw at it, that Tad’s job would be secure, there had to be a way of securing a decent outcome on all fronts.
In the end, the moment offered itself in random fashion, when Malcolm had headed out to get coffee and Danish pastries and Billie had used the last tissue in the box, then turned to Amy as if she should magic another box out of the ether, muttering something about inefficiency.
Amy – already exhausted by Billie and the night they’d endured – had shaken her head at the woman’s expression of dissatisfaction.
‘Absolutely no way am I accepting that, Billie. Don’t you dare,’ she said, and Billie had looked shocked, then faltered and began to weep again. Amy felt her resolve waver, felt bad kicking Billie when she was down, but maybe with Billie at her most vulnerable, she might truly hear Amy’s words.
‘You are worth so much more than this, Billie. But you need to know something – so is everyone else. Kelly has treated you appallingly badly – I can’t tell you how angry he has made me feel.
And I know you loved him, but he never deserved you.
He systematically took from you, emotionally, and I think it’s made you feel insecure.
It’s made you lash out and treat other people unfairly.
’ Amy’s heart hammered against her chest, wondered if she was about to get sandblasted, but Billie nodded.
‘He took so much from me, Amy – I don’t think I realised what was happening to me until I was so far down the rabbit hole I couldn’t get out.’
‘And I wonder if that’s why you did all the things you did in Italy.
Didn’t you think I’d work out what you were doing?
Telling Tad I was already in a relationship?
Telling me he only liked women with short hair?
Pushing us apart while also telling me I should go for it and have some fun with him? What were you trying to achieve?’
Billie frowned, but for once Amy didn’t give her a chance to speak.
‘I know exactly what you were doing. It might have taken me a while, but I understand now, and I don’t need you to try to explain.
Manipulating people isn’t the way to keep them close – it’s what Kelly did to you and look how it’s turned out.
I don’t want to believe you really want to control me like that. Do you?’
‘I value you more than anyone else I’ve ever worked with, Amelia.
Everything I’ve ever asked of you, you’ve always delivered.
And I know I’m a bit of a bitch, maybe I did take things a bit far.
But I could see how you felt about Tad – it was written all over your face.
I felt I was losing control, and you know how much I like to be in control. ’
Amy pulled in a deep breath. ‘Thing is, I don’t want to be controlled any longer.
By anyone. I’m going to move on, Billie.
I knew I needed a change before I even met Tad, so don’t think of blaming him for any of this – if there’s blame to be placed anywhere, I should look much closer to home if I were you.
If you value me at all, you won’t make this any more difficult for me than it already is.
What I need from you is simple. I need to know you’re not going to throw the cookery school, or Tad, under the bus as a result of my decision – because that would be completely out of order, and you know it. ’
Billie’s face creased with tears again, but she was nodding. ‘I knew this was coming. And I won’t stand in your way. I was wrong.’ Then she grinned through her tears. ‘And you know how difficult I find it to admit that.’
‘And you’ll write a positive article for Casa del Cibo?’
‘Yes, and for Tad, too. He deserves it – he deserves you too, Amy. Will you stay long enough for me to source a new assistant?’
‘You know I will.’
‘And can we stay in touch – you and me – I want to know how it all turns out for you.’
Amy pulled in a deep breath. ‘I would like that.’
‘You’ll need a kick-ass reference anyway, won’t you,’ Billie said, some of her more usual fire back in her voice.
Amy frowned. ‘Don’t even go there, Billie.’
Billie’s expression became serious. ‘No, I mean it. I’ll give you the best reference ever. No strings.’
Amy nodded. ‘Thank you.’ Then she added, ‘I think if you play your cards right, you might find Malcolm would see his way to climb back on board, if you wanted him to. Even after everything you said to him, he’s still here getting you a pastry and a coffee. Talk to him. Value him…’
Amy caught part of a conversation Malcolm had with Billie shortly after he’d returned bearing Danish gifts and caramel lattes, when they thought she was out of earshot.
Malcolm had spoken to Billie in a way Amy had never heard before, telling her in no uncertain terms what he expected from her if she wanted him back as her photographer.
How he’d always loved her – not in a romantic way – but how he’d always thought they were a team, which was why he found it so difficult to cope with the way she’d behaved, and how he blamed Kelly for the majority of it.
How there was no way he’d come back to her if she continued to hold the Casa del Cibo review over Amy’s head like an axe.
How, if Billie couldn’t see what was wrong with her behaviour, then she was a lost cause.
For once in her life, Billie hadn’t fought back, argued or reneged on the deal and a new status quo eased itself into existence.
The final tick in the ‘here comes the rest of my life’ box as far as Amy was concerned had been the relief she’d felt when she’d checked the final copy after it had received Billie’s blessing for publication.
And watching the light flood into Tad’s expression as he finished the final sentence and looked up at her, his smile beaming and infectious, had to number high up on Amy’s favourite moments. Ever.
‘Thank you,’ he said, reaching for her hand.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ she said.
‘Aye, course you didn’t.’ He squeezed at her fingers, then let go, lifting at the corners of the pile of papers beneath the magazine. ‘Ah, there it is.’
He held out a postcard, the tight scrawl of writing populating one side, Casa del Cibo’s address on the other.
‘It’s from Hugh and Kathleen. Arrived this morning.
They’re in Paris, still taking things easy for Hugh’s sake – but Kathleen is amazed by all the tiny dogs being carried around in handbags.
Hugh wants to know what’s happening with you – he has a question for you. Read it.’
Amy took the card and frowned in concentration as she attempted to decipher the handwriting. Hugh’s question was near the bottom of the card.
Ask Amy if she fancies a job as Casa’s champion.
Whatever BFR does, we’re going to need some proper help with promotion and organisation, moving forwards.
Also – brain wave – thinking about commissioning a cookbook for Casa’s best recipes.
Need our own book on our shelves. Want to include Nanna Gold’s cake, in fact, want Amy to compile it – ask her for me, will you?
‘Think about it,’ Tad said.
Amy nodded, sliding the card back into the pile.
‘I will.’ She paused momentarily, pretending to think, then smiled.
‘Tell Hugh the answer’s yes. But I think it’s also only fair to tell you Billie is planning to return to Casa, this time purely as a guest. No agenda, no axe to grind, no pressure. Just for pleasure.’
Tad grimaced. ‘When is she planning on coming – I think we might be fully booked that week…’
Amy laughed. ‘She seems to have forgotten she called this place kryptonite. Anyway, as well as trying out as many pizza places as I can while I’m here, I’m also planning on spending some quality time with a particularly special man. Seeing where that takes me, too.’
Tad glanced around, the corners of his eyes scrunching up as he pretended to search for said male. ‘Who would that be, then?’
With a grin, Amy framed either side of his face with the palms of her hands, steadying him until they were staring at one another.
‘You.’