Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
LIVIANNA/LILY
Then
Iron Armor it’s a demand. “When it’s called for.”
“And when would that be?”
“When a firecracker needs to be defused.”
The way he says it slides over my skin like a slow hand. Heat billows low in my stomach.
“So…is this something you want? The—” My voice catches. “The obedience?”
His eyes darken, focus narrowing until the weight of it sits in my chest. “It’s not about that. It’s about knowing what you need when you can’t say it. Some people fall apart when they lose control. I don’t. I fall apart if I don’t take it.”
The admission pulls a thread I didn’t know was frayed. “You need the power to let your guard down?”
He gives a subtle nod. His hand glides higher, fingertips brushing the seam of my jeans at my hip. “If I’m in control, I can be vulnerable without bleeding. I can give you all of me without wondering if you’ll use it against me.”
“Oh.” My breath stumbles over the space between us. “And if I can’t give you that?”
His grip digs into my skin. Not enough to bruise, but enough to make my heart trip.
“Then I’m still yours, Livianna. But you’ll never get past the walls you’ve been dying to break through.”
The air sharpens. His fingers thread into my hair, palm anchoring the base of my skull, holding me in a way that feels more like protection than restraint.
His gaze drops to my mouth, then drags back to my eyes, desire and warning woven together in a single look.
“Let me lead, firecracker.” His voice dips low, almost desperate. “And I’ll give you a version of me no one else has ever touched.”
Every nerve in me is screaming to weigh the consequences, but I don’t. I lean in until my lips barely brush his, letting the question and the answer blend into the same breath.
His hand leaves my hair only to cup my chin, tilting it upward, guiding me back into his line of sight. The smallest shift of pressure tells me exactly who’s holding the reins now…and exactly how easily I could get used to it.
His fingers still cradle my face, the pressure a quiet command. “Tell me what’s circling in that mind of yours.”
“I think you’re used to people letting you have it your way.”
His thumb sweeps once over my lower lip, a slow drag that makes my heart rate spike. “And you’re used to men mistaking your defiance for strength instead of need.”
“And what need is that?”
“To feel safe enough to let go. Not in the world, not in your work but in me.”
The words hit somewhere deeper than they should. “And you want me to give you that…even though we’ve been together without it?”
“I want you to give me you. The rest follows.” His touch drops from my chin to the side of my neck, his palm warm over my pulse point. “You’ll keep your voice. You’ll keep your choices. But when we cross that line, you give me the right to take the weight off you…completely.”
I swallow. A flicker of panic strikes, then a stronger wave of curiosity.
“Jax, what would that even look like? Help me, because I thought I could do it before, and I proved to both of us I couldn’t handle it.”
“It depends on you. I’m not interested in wrecking what I want to keep. But I am interested in pushing you until you see what’s underneath all that control you think you have.”
“That sounds dangerous. Like I’ll fail.”
“But danger isn’t the same as harm, and you won’t fail if you trust me.” His fingers flex slightly, not enough to restrict, just enough to remind me he’s there. “And I won’t touch you in that way until you tell me you want it.”
“And if I can’t?”
His gaze doesn’t flinch. “Then I wait. And I’ll keep wanting.”
“Meaning I don’t get all of you…just pieces.”
“Correct.”
“Then I’ll think about it.”
“You will submit.” He releases me. “Because you’ve already pictured it.”
It’s been a month since Jax and I spoke about his need for submission. I haven’t given in, and still the sex is out of this world. But I want more of him, and tonight I’m ready to hand myself over to the man I’m falling for.
I reach the ground floor of his building. The guard greets me, then silently leads me to the private elevator that opens directly into Jaxon’s penthouse. It feels like he knows exactly what’s about to happen.
My blood races in my veins, and I pray I can pull this off. I roll back my shoulders and take the lift to Jax’s entry.
The doors part. He stands in the foyer like he’s been anticipating this exact hour.
Maybe he has.
“Livianna, I’ve been waiting for you.” He ushers me in with just his hand at the small of my back, guiding me inside.
The pressure of it speaks louder than anything he could say. He expects something different tonight.
It shouldn’t surprise me. When I texted him earlier saying I needed to see him and it couldn’t wait, he responded with nothing but a devil emoji.
It was so unlike him I laughed out loud…but I’m not laughing right now. I just love when he gives me glimpses of his playful side.
“Okay, Jax…I thought about it.” Though the truth is, I didn’t just think. I’ve obsessed, replaying every line of our conversation until my chest ached with it.
His gaze drags down my body, slow and heated. “And?”
My pulse flutters under the warmth of his attention. “And I want to try.”
He doesn’t smile or gloat. He just takes a step closer. His palm brushes mine before his firm grip closes around my wrist, lifting my hand to his mouth.
The kiss he presses there is more of a claim than affection. Something about it is magnetic.
“You’re sure?” His deep voice vibrates through me.
“I am.”
“Then you’re completely mine until you walk out of this apartment. And when you do, you leave clean. No confusion or regrets.”
I nod.
“Words, firecracker.”
I wince. “Yes. That’s what I want.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“You.”
“You will find a name for me. One I accept. It won’t be Jaxon, Jax, or ‘you.’ Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Livianna,” he warns as his stare burns straight through me.
I want to be defiant, but his command tightens my stomach in the most dangerous way.
Fuck, he’s impossibly sexy when he takes control. The wanting alone is enough to make me wet.
I lower my gaze. “Yes, sir.”
“That’s better.” His other hand comes to my neck, applying gentle pressure against my pulse. “From this moment on, you don’t think. You respond. You feel. You let me carry every part of you until you can’t take any more.”
The breath I let out is shaky, like my body knows I’ve just crossed into someplace I can’t retreat from. “Yes, sir.”