Chapter 7 #2
Tracy knew that. She had known that all along.
Perhaps it had been selfishness that had made her keep the secret as long as she had.
She loved her little girl and didn’t really want to share her, but she knew Hank had a right to know his child, even if Tracy wasn’t altogether happy with it.
She was very possessive of her baby. She’d had to be, knowing that Emma might grow up to be so very different than her cousins in the Pack.
And then, she’d shifted, and Tracy’s protective instincts had ratcheted up to an all-new high.
But there was one thing she needed to know.
“Why did you never come back?” she asked. “It’s been almost three years. Where’ve you been all this time?” She hated the needy sound of her own voice, but she had to know.
Somewhere, deep inside her, during her pregnancy, and even after, she’d held some kind of misguided hope that he would magically appear and make everything all right.
He hadn’t, and she’d sucked it up and went on with what had to be done.
A few months after Emma was born, Tracy had finally given up on her Prince Charming ever waltzing back into her life.
“I wanted to,” he answered in a low voice.
“I tried, but it seemed like every time I had a free moment and planned to come back here, some crisis popped up in another part of the world that only I could deal with for the Clan. Since I left here the first time, I’ve been to Cambodia, Iceland, Iran, Turkey, Peru, and Nova Scotia, just to name a few.
Those were the longer missions that took a few months each.
In between those, there were always little fires that needed to be put out in Europe, the Middle East, India and South America.
I spent a lot of time in Argentina, dealing with my extended family, helping them move to the island.
” He sighed heavily. “Every time I thought I had some free time coming up, I planned to come here and see you again, and every time, I got a call from Mark or Nick or one of my family members, needing me to help with something only I could help them with. It was like everything was conspiring against my return. Like Fate didn’t want me to see you again. ”
“Until now,” she said slowly, really listening to his words.
Had Fate kept them apart for a reason? Was the Goddess playing games with their lives? Was there some kind of higher purpose to all this? She honestly didn’t know. What she did glean from his words was that he had been thinking about—even planning—to come back to her all that time.
He hadn’t succeeded in getting back here until now, but he’d at least thought about her. It actually sounded like he’d thought about her a lot. Knowing that, she felt a little chink in the wall she’d built around her heart begin to form.
“Until now,” he agreed, his tone growing more intimate as he stepped just one step closer, lessening the gap between them both figuratively and literally.
“I don’t know why it worked out this way, but it feels almost like…
I don’t know…” He ran one hand through his golden hair.
“Like, maybe… For some reason, it was meant to be this way.” He sighed heavily, and a look of frustration passed over his handsome face.
“Only the Mother of All knows why, but why else was it so hard for me to get back here until now?”
She paused, considering his words, then finally, shook her head. The workings of the Goddess had always been a mystery to her. She had faith in the Mother of All, but she’d never seen the deity she served acting directly in her life before. Was that what had happened here? She just wasn’t sure.
“Look, I won’t stop you from seeing Emma,” Tracy finally said, every word chiseled out of her heart. “Especially now, she needs another jaguar in her life to show her what she needs to know. What I can’t teach her.”
Admitting that nearly crushed her. She had been everything to Emma from the day she was born. Now, there was something in Emma’s life that Tracy couldn’t help her with. A wolf couldn’t really show her daughter how to be a jaguar.
“I’d like you both to come to the island.
Meet the Clan. Get to know us and see what we’re all about.
I think it will help you raise our daughter if you understand more about what her animal needs to be happy.
” He took a breath and continued in a deeper tone.
“Come with me when I bring Pax and Ari to their meeting. I can fly you back anytime, but the brothers will probably need a ride back to Arizona anyway, and I can bring you back with them, if you like. It’s only for a few days, but I want you to see the place. ”
The invitation took her breath away. It was one thing to consider going to that faraway island sometime in the future, but Hank was talking about right now.
In the next couple of days. Too soon, her wolf howled.
Too soon to take her baby away, even just by introducing her to her own kind.
Too soon! The wolf woman wanted to weep.
Then again… As she settled her inner wolf once more, she began to think through the possibilities.
She’d been intrigued by the idea of Jaguar Island ever since she’d first heard about it.
Hank was offering a free ride, which would save a great deal of bother and money, since he had already secured approval to take them.
The wolf started thinking strategically.
It would be better to know what they were up against… Clan vs. Pack. Jaguars vs. wolves.
“I’m not sure,” she told him, trying to sound calmer than she felt. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Do that. And, while you’re at it, consider this.
I’m willing to buy a house or condo near here, if that’s what it takes.
I want to be here for Emma as she grows up.
I want to be in her life. And, Tracy…” His voice dropped down low, compelling.
“I want to be in your life, too. Not just because of Emma. I came here last week, looking forward to seeing you again, and that hasn’t changed. I’m still very interested in you.”
Interested. Huh. Was that all? Somehow, her inner wolf wasn’t happy with that wording. No, not at all. She felt like biting him.
Instead, she put the casserole she’d been preparing into the oven and left the room before she said something she’d regret.
She heard Emma stirring upstairs anyway.
Time to get her dressed and back downstairs to work off some energy before dinner.
And to run interference between Tracy and Emma’s dad.
Hank realized he’d pushed her too far, too fast when Tracy walked out of the kitchen without a word.
He couldn’t really interpret her mood, but he thought she was either pissed, thinking it over, or completely repulsed.
He’d hoped she might be tempted, but he figured that ship had sailed. He only hoped she didn’t hate him.
He found Tracy and Emma in a room filled with toys a few minutes later.
He’d heard them come downstairs, and when neither had reappeared in the kitchen, he went hunting for them.
Emma was playing with a stuffed wolf toy, and Hank decided right then and there to contact the woman on the island who made stuffed jaguar toys for the children of the Clan.
His baby should have one of those very special toys, too.
Tracy was leaning against the doorjamb, just watching their daughter play when he came up behind her, peeking into the room. She didn’t turn to look at him, though she had to know he was there. He’d scared her off, possibly, with his talk of the future.