Chapter 8 #2
She reached up and pressed into his kiss, enjoying the feel of him against her. The memory of their night together flashed back into her mind, the solid feel of his muscles against her making her want it again. It had been so long. Too long.
She responded before she thought better of her actions. She pushed him down to the couch and climbed over him. The combustion between them hadn’t been her imagination. He touched her, and she became voracious for more, her inner wild woman released…but only for him.
She could feel his smile against his lips as she basically jumped him. He wasn’t struggling, which made her inner wolf want to howl in victory. She didn’t want to fight with him. She wanted to fuck him. Hard. Fast. And all night long.
The thought sobered her momentarily. She lifted her lips from his, realizing she was straddling his hips. They were both still fully clothed, thank goodness, but the position was compromising, to say the least.
“I don’t want to be a convenience,” she told him, her emotions raw. “I deserve to be wanted for me, not because it gives you a ready-made family.”
His gaze went hard, even as he lifted one hand to cup her cheek.
“Don’t ever think that, Tracy,” he said, his voice soft but filled with the command of his strong personality.
“You probably should just get used to the fact that, for a relatively smart guy, I can be very stupid sometimes. Or very stubborn. Or even, both at the same time.” A rueful grin graced his mobile lips, charming her just that little bit more.
“I certainly was where you were concerned. Did you ever think that maybe the Mother of All gave us Emma as a way to kick my stubborn ass into realizing what was right in front of me for the past couple of years?”
“You really believe that?” She wouldn’t make herself any more pathetic by asking exactly what he was talking about. If he had feelings for her, he should be brave enough by now to just come out and tell her. She didn’t want to have to beg.
His fingers stroked down over her cheek to the line of her jaw, making her shiver in delight at the soft touch. Her big cat could be gentle when the occasion called for it. She remembered that from their one night together.
“I believe I’ve held you in my soul since we parted after our one night together. I couldn’t forget you, and I couldn’t be with anyone else. That, right there, should have clued me in, but as I said—stupid and stubborn, sometimes. Sorry.”
He shook his head, and she found it hard to hold out against his charm. But she had to know more. She had to have something to cling to. Some word of care. Of commitment to her, not just because of their child. She needed something more definite. She wanted clarity. Bold, honest words.
“I care for you, Tracy. Deeply.” Those words were good.
She liked those words. “I have thought about you almost constantly over the past couple of years, but I wasn’t entirely free to come back.
And, of course, I’m an idiot. I didn’t recognize the signs for what they were.
Somewhere deep inside, my jaguar always expected to mate another cat of some kind, if not necessarily another jaguar.
I think my beast side was more surprised than my human half when we finally got back here and realized what had happened.
It took my cat a while to figure things out, but he’s totally on board now. ”
“Is that because Emma is a jaguar? What if she’d been a wolf? What if we…mate…and have another child, and what if that child is a wolf? Will your wild side reject that child because it’s canine and not feline?” These were the tough questions. The heart of the matter.
She got off him and moved to sit on the other end of the couch as he sat up on his side. He rested both of his elbows on his knees and ran both hands through his hair, blowing out a hard breath.
“You really think I could be that fickle?” He didn’t even look at her as he spoke, and she got the idea that she’d hurt his feelings, which made her feel a twinge of guilt.
“Cats have a bit of a reputation in that regard,” she said quietly.
That made him look at her, his face a study in shock.
“Maybe in dating, but in mating…” He seemed to grasp for words.
“When we mate, we’re as loyal as any wolf, bear, eagle or any other kind of shifter you care to name.
We roam when we’re young, and we tend to sow a lot of wild oats, so to speak, but when we commit, we commit fully. End of story.”
Yeah, now, she really did feel guilty. “Okay,” she said quietly, trying to think of how to bring the conversation back to where she wanted it. “I honestly don’t know that much about jaguars. You guys do tend to be kind of secretive, you know.”
Finally, he cracked just the tiniest bit of a smile.
“You have a point. We cultivate that air of mystery on purpose, but I won’t ever keep secrets from you, Tracy.
For one thing, you’re the mother of a jaguar.
You’re going to need to know all our secrets in order to raise our baby.
For another, because of your link to Emma and me, you now come under the protection of the entire Clan.
You ever need anything, they’ll be there for you. ”
“I have a Pack already—” she began to protest, but he cut her off, gently.
“And a Clan. You have both, now, Tracy.”
She didn’t try to argue further. She knew her baby would need the jaguars. Tracy wouldn’t deny her child the people who shared their beast form with her.
“I do care, Tracy. Not just about Emma, but about you. I haven’t been able to look at another woman in all this time. Don’t shut me out. I really believe you’re it for me. My mate. My true mate.”
Her heart leapt upward at his words. Did she believe him?
Yeah, turns out, she did—at least about his lack of a sex life these past years.
He wouldn’t lie to her about being celibate all this time.
That’s not something a man—especially a virile, powerful, attractive man—would readily admit to in the normal course of events.
He just wouldn’t have said anything. He wouldn’t have made such a big deal over it if it weren’t true.
She laid it on the line and told him what was on her mind. “I…” She tried again. “I…don’t know how to process all of this, but I’m trying. My wolf is wary, but she’s very intrigued by you. As is my human side. Wary, but intrigued.”
“And willing to give me a chance?” he asked hopefully, moving closer to her, crossing the width of the couch to bring his lips closer to hers.
She smiled. “I suppose I could be convinced,” she murmured, just before his lips closed over hers.
He was the aggressor this time, taking her down to lay on her back on the soft cushions, his hard body over hers. She loved the feel of his possession and didn’t protest when he took things further.
They undressed each other—just the parts they needed—by pushing at fabric and undoing buttons and zippers, hooks and eyes, wherever needed, but they didn’t waste time.
No, she felt like they’d already wasted a little too much time talking when they could’ve been giving each other the greatest pleasure she’d ever known.
She encouraged him with soft nips and low growls when he licked her breasts and then sucked on her skin.
She was conscious of not making too much noise with their daughter asleep upstairs, but since Em had started shifting, she slept hard and never woke up before morning anymore.
At first, that had concerned Tracy, but now, she counted it a blessing.
Was that yet another benefit to the jaguar way? She wasn’t sure she liked thinking that the jaguar way might be better than the wolf way she’d always known, but it was certainly convenient, right now.
“I want you so much, Tracy,” he breathed against her abdomen.