Chapter 3
NOW
Late August
Monday
I kept two cars between us. Close enough not to lose her at the junction. Far enough not to draw attention. My pulse was steady now. Almost calm. The movement helped. It was the waiting that allowed the past to seep into my thoughts.
A white van shot out in front of me from a side road, without warning. I hit the brakes. A horn blasted behind me.
I cursed under my breath as I changed gears and pressed the accelerator, determined not to let Charlotte get too far ahead of me.
I frowned. The broad van was now completely obscuring the traffic in front.
I shifted in my seat, leaning left, then right, trying to catch a glimpse of Charlotte’s car, but it was futile.
I nibbled my lip, assessing the oncoming traffic.
It was too busy to attempt to overtake the van. I was stuck behind it.
My chest tightened. All this effort couldn’t be for nothing.
The image of Charlotte leaving the house with a yoga mat slung over her shoulder flashed into my head.
The gym. Of course.
Late July
‘I’m going to the gym,’ Ryan announced, dropping his sports bag on the chair as he wrapped his arms around my waist. ‘Gotta get back in shape after all that lounging around on the beach in Malta.’
I chuckled. ‘You and me both!’
‘Ha, now that would be something to see.’ Ryan laughed.
‘What does that mean?’ I asked, arching an eyebrow.
‘You’re not exactly a gym person.’
I shrugged. ‘Maybe I should be. It could be something we do together.’
There were so many parts of his life I didn’t fit into. His family. The stables. The horses. I would never belong there, that had been obvious last time. But this… It was neutral ground. I could handle treadmills and weights. At least I could fit somewhere in his life.
‘It’s the Purbeck Sports Centre,’ Ryan said as he let his arms slip from my waist as he reached for his bag.
‘Great, I’ll check out their memberships online.’
‘No, Kirsty.’ Ryan shook his head. ‘You don’t understand.’
I frowned. What was there to understand? It was a gym.
‘Charlotte goes there too.’
Her name hung between us, heavy and familiar.
‘Oh.’ It was all I could muster.
‘It might be… awkward,’ Ryan said hesitantly.
I nodded, biting back the urge to ask, awkward for who?
‘Maybe we could look at somewhere else,’ he said suddenly. ‘Somewhere closer to the flat. Somewhere it can be just us.’
My lips lifted in a bright smile.
Just us.
I let out a sigh as the memory faded. The problem was it had never really been just us. And Ryan never did get round to changing gyms in the four weeks after we came back from Malta.
Not that he needed to any more.
I shook my head, refusing to allow that thought to settle. The important thing now was I knew where Charlotte was going. Purbeck Sports Centre.
I settled back in the seat, feeling less anxious. And yet, I still smiled as the van turned off and my gaze fell on Charlotte’s car at last.
Corfe Castle came into view ahead and my gaze shifted from Charlotte’s car to the imposing ruins perched on the hilltop. Even fractured and crumbling, it was an impressive sight.
The junction for the A351 was up ahead. I watched for her right indictor as she slowed for the turning.
The left indicator flicked on instead.
Where was she going?
Maybe she had some errands to run before the gym, I reasoned quietly. Wasn’t this exactly why I was following her? To find out more about her. Her routines. Her friends. Her life.
A thread of anticipation twisted through me. There was something invigorating about plotting against your enemy. Was this how Charlotte had felt when she plotted against me?
I shifted my attention back as the road curved into the village. I expected Charlotte to follow the road straight through, but instead her right indicator blinked up ahead of me.
I slowed and flicked my own indicator on.
Charlotte pulled into a parking space outside the pub.
I uttered a soft murmur of thanks that it was early enough to still be quiet, as I pulled into the final empty space in the tiny parking lot.
If it had been busier, I’d have had to use the main car park further down the street: it would have been too far away to keep track of her.
I couldn’t risk that.
Turning the engine off, I waited to see what Charlotte did next. It was too early for her to go to the pub, but maybe the bakery next door?
She stepped out of her car and swung the door shut.
Without even casting a glance behind her, she strode along the pavement towards the bakery, but her pace didn’t slow.
Instead, she rounded the corner past it.
I grabbed my handbag, slid out of the Astra and scurried after her, already knowing what was around that bend. The castle entrance.
I dawdled, allowing a couple to slip ahead of me as I rummaged in my bag for my National Trust membership card. I reached the attendant and handed him my card, grateful that it didn’t have a photo on it.
‘Is it your first time visiting us here?’ he asked with a cheery smile.
I shook my head. ‘No, I’m a local.’ The word felt strange on my tongue. I’d lived in Dorset for just over two years now, yet somehow I still felt like I was only passing through. As though I was treading water in someone else’s life instead of building one of my own.
The attendant’s smile faltered slightly as disappointment flickered across his face. He’d been hoping to share his knowledge and enthusiasm for the castle, I realised with a small twinge of guilt.
Under different circumstances I might have lingered. Asked questions. Listened. I knew how welcome even a small conversation could be in the loneliness. I glanced up the path; Charlotte was already nearing the bend that led into the ruins. Today, I had other priorities to deal with.
‘Enjoy your visit,’ he said, handing my card back.
‘Thanks,’ I replied, already stepping forward, eager not to let Charlotte get too far ahead of me. After all, I hadn’t come here for the castle.
I’d come for her.
I hurried up the steep path, urgency overriding my usual caution on the uneven, worn cobblestones.
Charlotte paused near a break in the crumbling wall, stepping through the gap onto a narrow stretch of ground that overlooked the village below.
I slowed, my gaze flicking over the ruins. There were plenty of places to disappear here. I slipped off the main path, ducking into a jagged alcove. I surveyed the space, checking I was out of sight, yet still close enough to watch her through the gaps in the broken stones.
Charlotte didn’t move. She seemed transfixed on the view. I let out a frustrated sigh. Maybe she had simply come for a walk and to enjoy the view before the place filled with tourists.
And, yet, something in my gut told me there was more to it.
Charlotte checked her watch, then glanced back along the path she’d come from. I drew back, even though I was sure she couldn’t see me.
She turned back to the view, but her posture was stiffer. This wasn’t about the scenery. She was waiting for something.
Someone.
Footsteps crunched on the gravel path behind me. I stilled, pressing myself further into the shadow of the broken wall, angling my body to keep watch without being seen.
My pulse raced as a figure moved past the opening. Tall. Broad-shouldered.
Charlotte took a step forward and stopped, her gaze locked on the approaching figure. She gave a short, sharp acknowledgement of his arrival. Yet her expression didn’t shift. She was poised. Unreadable.
Unlike me.
I’d never mastered the ability to conceal my thoughts and feelings and prevent them from showing on my face. Ryan used to say it was honest and refreshing. There was no pretence with me.
And yet, somewhere along the way, my emotions had become the thing he despised.
The man reached Charlotte and they muttered polite greetings. I leaned forwards slightly, trying to get a better look. There was something familiar about him. I’d seen him at Blackwater, I was sure of it. Not one of the yard hands, but he’d been there.
Charlotte’s gaze flicked briefly from side to side, as though checking no one was watching.
Was she having an affair? Sneaking around with someone from the stables behind Ryan’s back? But that made no sense. She’d only just got Ryan back. Why would she fight so hard to take him from me if she wanted someone else?
Their body language seemed strained as he reached her. They didn’t touch. They didn’t even hug as they greeted each other. They just stared at each other from a few steps apart.
‘Did you bring it?’ the man asked. His voice carried faintly across among the stones. Deep. Familiar. And, suddenly, the memory slid into place.
David Harcourt. The vet.
I’d often seen him at Blackwater, always accompanied by Ryan or his father. I frowned as I tried to recall Charlotte handling any of his visits, but I couldn’t. That wasn’t part of her role.
Charlotte pulled an envelope from her bag and handed it to him without a word. He nodded and slipped it straight into his pocket without even pausing to open it.
Unease stirred in the pit of my stomach. There was a wariness between them that seemed deeper than just a fear of being seen together.
They didn’t trust each other, I realised with sharp, unsettling clarity. But why?
David shifted as though preparing to leave, but turned back. ‘Just be careful,’ he said firmly.
Charlotte smiled. ‘I always am.’
He gave a short nod and turned away, heading back down the path towards the entrance. Charlotte turned back to the view of the village below as though their encounter had never happened.
I hesitated. If I stayed where I was, at some point Charlotte would pass right by me. I nibbled the inside of my cheek. I couldn’t let her get too close.
Instinctively, I turned and followed David towards the entrance, hoping I didn’t miss any further clandestine meetings by letting Charlotte out of my sight. I kept my pace steady, fighting the urge to hurry. I couldn’t risk drawing attention to myself now.
My gaze stayed fixed on the uneven cobblestones, as I refused to allow myself to glance back and check if Charlotte was following. I’d spent my life being practically invisible, and yet, now that I wanted to be, it felt forced. Exhausting.
Reaching the entrance, I smiled slightly, relieved to see the attendant was busy with a queue of visitors. The last thing I needed was to be delayed in conversation.
I reached the Astra, slipped inside, pulled the door shut and let out a slow breath as relief loosened the tightness in my chest. Slipping the key in the ignition, I paused and glanced back at the path, searching for Charlotte.
The seconds stretched slowly. Had I left too soon? Had I missed something?
My shoulders lifted as I inhaled sharply at the sight of her weaving through the tourists as she rounded the corner. I let out a quiet snort. It was the first time I’d ever been relieved to see Charlotte.
I lowered my head as she passed in front of my car, a smug satisfaction washing over me despite my nerves. I was getting the hang of this.
A car door slammed and I lifted my head, watching her through the windows of the vehicles between us. She reversed out of the parking space and drove towards the junction. Hurriedly, I turned the key and did the same.
Was she actually going to the gym now, or was there another mysterious stop planned?
I rolled forward and immediately realised my mistake. In my eagerness, I hadn’t allowed Charlotte enough time to merge into the traffic on the main road, and now I was stuck, bumper to bumper, directly behind her.
My breath hitched as her gaze met mine through her rear-view mirror.
Everything in me screamed to turn away, but I couldn’t. I was frozen.
The wig. The sunglasses. The car. She couldn’t know it was me.
Could she?
Her gaze lingered, and then the corner of her mouth shifted upwards.
I swallowed as something tightened in my chest.
Did she know?
The stream of traffic finally broke and Charlotte turned left, disappearing into the flow without hesitation.
My hands trembled against the wheel as I fought to steady my breathing, unable to move. Suddenly I wasn’t sure who had been watching who.