Chapter 6
THEN
Mid July
I curled my toes in my flip-flops, flexing them slightly, relishing the space after my feet had been trapped in trainers all day.
My fingers wrapped around the pool terrace railing, the metal cool against my skin as my gaze drifted out across the bay below.
I drew in a slow breath, filling my lungs and letting it settle in my chest as the tension eased from my shoulders.
This is what I’d come here for.
I’d barely paused in my room after checking in. Stepping inside just long enough to dump my case, kick off my trainers, peel off my jeans and pull on the first sundress I could find before heading straight down here.
I needed this. This moment. This view.
It had always been my favourite time of day. Even when I’d worked here. That moment when the rush slowed, the noise softened and everything calmed.
The sun was already starting to sink, casting a golden shimmer across the water.
The beach mostly empty as the last of the sunseekers made their way back to their rooms. Behind me, the hotel staff reset the terrace for the evening.
Sun loungers grated softly against the tiles as they were dragged back into neat rows.
The soft rasp of a brush swept away the grains of sand.
There was something soothing about the rhythm of the hotel winding down.
I turned to my left, allowing my gaze to drift to the pool bar. It was already closed for the day. The shutters were pulled down, the space quiet and empty.
But I could still see Ryan there. Leaning against the counter, laughing, talking with the guests like he’d known them for years.
Even here, our lives had been so different.
I’d been behind the reception desk. Crisp blazer. Name badge positioned with pride. My heels clipping sharply against the polished tiles as I’d moved between the desk and the back office. Efficient. Professional.
But Ryan had been out here. Picking up shifts whenever and wherever they’d needed him. The pool bar, beach bar, lobby bar. It had never seemed to matter to him – the inconsistency. The unpredictability. He just moved through it all.
Like everything was temporary. Like everything would change.
I pushed myself away from the railing before that thought could settle too deeply.
I hurried past the pool bar, towards the gate, lifted the latch and stepped through. It clicked shut behind me, the sound sharp against the quiet evening.
The steps stretched down ahead of me, carved into the cliffside, narrow and uneven.
I started down them slowly. It was cooler here, shaded from the sun. My flip-flops slapped lightly against the worn stone, the rhythm steady. Familiar. It took me back to the last time I was here…
Two Years Ago – Mid May
Footsteps thudded quickly behind me. Too fast.
‘Ryan, slow down,’ I called, glancing back, as he raced down the steps towards me. ‘You’re going to fall.’
‘You worry too much.’ He laughed, rolling his eyes as he reached me. He didn’t slow. Didn’t hesitate. Just brushed past me and carried on down the steps ahead.
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips despite my indignation. He was right. I did worry too much. It was who I was.
Whereas he didn’t worry about anything. He just lived in the moment.
‘Come on!’ he called from the bottom, unable to contain his excitement, his feet already in the soft golden sand.
My smile widened. His childlike excitement was infectious, and I cautiously picked up my pace.
I loved it when the end of our shifts coincided. When we could come down here and catch the last few rays of the sun together.
He always knew where to find me.
And I always knew he’d come.
The memory washed over me before I could stop it.
I should have been used to the feeling by now. It was always the same. Beautiful and unbearable all at once. Especially here. Wasn’t that precisely why I came back?
‘Kirsty.’
I glanced back over my shoulder and froze as my gaze locked on him. I blinked. I hadn’t expected him to be here, on these steps, at sunset.
Our sunset.
For a split second, it felt like I could step back into that life. As though nothing had changed. As though we were still together. Still us.
I picked up my pace, hurrying down the steps away from him.
‘Kirsty, wait—’
I didn’t respond. I didn’t stop.
His footsteps quickened behind me. I should have known he wouldn’t give up. Wouldn’t slow down. It wasn’t who he was. He would always—
‘Argh!’ Ryan’s cry resounded in the narrow stairway.
My fingers tightened around the rail as a sharp thud followed.
I swung round, my heart lurching. My eyes widened as I saw Ryan sprawled across the steps, his right leg twisted awkwardly beneath him. One hand gripped the rail, the other pressed to his face.
Blood.
I was already moving before I could think, instinct propelling me back up the steps towards him.
‘Are you okay?’ I dropped to a crouch in front of him, my breathing still uneven.
‘Yeah.’ He winced as he shifted his weight to the side and straightened his leg out from under him. ‘I’m fine.’
I let out a breath, relief loosening the tightness in my chest. At least he hadn’t broken any bones. My attention shifted back to his face. ‘You’re bleeding.’
‘It’s just a scratch.’
‘Let me see.’
Slowly he pulled his hand away from his forehead, wincing again as he did.
I frowned as I assessed the cut above his eyebrow. ‘That looks deep.’ Dropping my bag from my shoulder onto the step beside me, I rummaged through it.
‘Are you still carrying everything but the kitchen sink in there?’ he teased softly.
I ignored him, pulled out an antiseptic wipe and dabbed it gently along his cut.
He flinched.
‘Sorry,’ I murmured, easing away slightly.
‘It’s okay, you just caught me off guard,’ Ryan said airily, but the tight set of his jaw told me it hurt more than he was letting on.
‘We should get this properly treated.’
‘Nah, it’ll be fine.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m sure you have a plaster in that bag of yours.’
I rolled my eyes but rummaged back in my bag and pulled one out.
‘I knew it.’ The corners of his lips twitched. ‘You’re still the same, Kirsty.’
I focused on positioning the plaster carefully across the cut, smoothing it into place, my fingers lingering a fraction of a second longer than necessary.
Ryan’s hand reached for mine before I could pull away, his fingers brushing my skin.
Warm.
Soft.
Comforting.
My breath caught as a faint tingle spread across my skin, raising goosebumps along my arms.
I swallowed and pulled my hand away. ‘I’ve done the best I can,’ I said, aware of the slight tremor to my voice as I reached for my bag.
‘Thank you.’ Ryan’s voice was thick and husky.
‘Can you stand?’ I asked, as I pushed myself to my feet, busying myself with brushing my hands against my dress as I straightened.
He levered himself up, pulling on the railing. His breath hitched.
‘That bad?’ I asked, automatically reaching forward to support him.
‘Think I’ve just twisted my ankle a bit.’
I tipped my head to the side as I stared at him. He’d always brushed things off like that. Downplaying things and struggling alone, instead of asking for help. Even from me.
‘I’ll go and get someone—’
‘Don’t worry so much,’ Ryan interrupted. ‘I’ll just sit on the beach and rest it a little, and it’ll be fine.’
I glanced down the remaining steps. There weren’t many. But too many for him to manage alone.
‘Come on, then,’ I said with a sigh. If he wouldn’t let me get someone to help, then I would have to do it myself.
I draped his left arm across my shoulders, and we moved down the steps slowly, as he clung to the rail on the other side.
Finally, the sand stretched out before us. We staggered forward a few steps and then I helped him lower himself. He exhaled slowly, stretching his leg out in front of him.
I hesitated for a moment. Then sat beside him.
He turned his head towards me, a questioning expression etched across his features.
‘It’s not like I can just ditch you on your own out here, is it?’ I said, turning away, so he couldn’t read my own expression and realise that might not be the only reason I’d stayed.
The sun was lower now, the sky streaked with deep orange. For a while neither of us spoke.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here,’ he said eventually.
I let out a slow breath. ‘I could say the same to you.’
He nodded slightly, his gaze drifting out across the horizon. ‘I felt like I needed to be here. Especially this week…’
I turned to him, stunned. ‘Why?’
His gaze met mine. ‘You can’t have forgotten—’
I scoffed. ‘No, I haven’t forgotten. That’s why I come back at this time each year.’ The admission was out before I could stop it.
‘You came last year?’
I clenched my teeth and said nothing.
‘I wish I’d known.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I almost came then too, and if I’d known you would be here—’
‘You’d have stayed away now too.’
‘I wouldn’t have hesitated to return,’ Ryan corrected.
I looked away, back out at the sea. ‘What for?’
‘To see you. To talk to you.’
I snorted. ‘You already said everything you had to say.’
‘No.’ Ryan’s voice was firm. ‘That was the problem. I never said what really mattered.’