Chapter 16
THEN
Mid July
Ryan flicked his foot through the shallow surf, sending a spray of cool, salty water across my legs.
I gasped. ‘Hey.’ I laughed, giving him a playful shove.
A grin broke across his face as he staggered sideways. He caught hold of my hand and tugged me with him. The water surged around my shins as I stumbled against him with a squeal.
‘Ryan!’ I scolded playfully; my hands landed against his chest.
His hands slid to my waist, steadying me, holding me close, as our laughter faded.
My arms looped around his neck without thinking. The movement felt natural. Familiar. Like no time had passed.
His lips brushed mine. Soft at first. Tentative. Uncertain. Yet it still sent a ripple through me that had nothing to do with the coolness of the water lapping at our legs. After all this time, he still had the power to make me melt.
We parted slowly. Reluctantly. Yet our bodies stayed close. Nestled together, like neither of us wanted to break whatever this was.
The air around us felt charged with possibility and hope.
Like it had once before.
Everything between us felt fresh and new, just as it had back then. Untarnished by unfulfilled dreams and broken promises.
Yet, at the same time, I knew this was different.
We were different.
The last few days had passed in a blur of beach walks, late night conversations and moments like this. We’d talked about everything. The good, the bad, the things we wished we could go back and change, and the things we wouldn’t.
‘We had it right last time,’ Ryan said quietly. ‘When it was just the two of us. That’s when everything worked.’
I swallowed. He was right. When it had just been us, here, like this, it had all felt simple.
‘We let everything else get in the way,’ he continued. ‘Family. Expectations. Responsibility.’
I let out a slow breath. Even though things felt different now, the past still hurt.
Ryan stepped back slightly. The absence of him against me immediately noticeable. His hands slipped from my waist, and reached for mine, lacing our fingers together.
‘What if we don’t do that this time? What if we choose us?’ His voice was steady. Certain. ‘No distractions. No delays. No prioritising of anything, anyone, over us.’
The intensity of the last few days stirred something deep inside me.
I curled my toes in the sand, playing for time. Holding back the desire to say yes, unequivocally yes, to all that he was offering. To us.
And then, suddenly, Ryan dropped to one knee in the surf.
My breath caught as my heart slammed against my ribs.
‘Ryan…’
What was he doing? It was too late. And yet also too soon. The connection we’d had had been broken too long ago. And whatever this was between us now was tentative and new.
‘Will you marry me, Kirsty?’
The beach seemed to tilt. Everything around us just disappeared. It was just him.
It had always been him.
‘This is crazy.’
Ryan clutched my hands to his chest. ‘No, it was crazy to let you slip out of my life. This is simply doing what we should have done two years ago.’
‘But things have changed,’ I said quietly. ‘We’ve changed.’
‘Maybe,’ he said, his gaze locked on mine. ‘But our feelings haven’t.’ There was no hint of hesitation or doubt in his voice. He believed it with such conviction. Not just that he loved me, but that I loved him too.
Something inside me soared. After all this time, he still knew me. We were still so connected he knew how I felt, without me even needing to put it into words.
I’d told myself I was over him. That I’d built a new life, a good life, without him.
And yet, if that was true, what was I doing here?
Why did I keep returning to the place that meant so much to us?
The place that had held all the plans we’d made and the dreams we’d shared.
There were other destinations I could fly to from Bournemouth Airport. But I came back here.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d been holding on to the hope of us. And now, after two years, it was all finally within reach. All I had to do was say one little word…
‘Yes.’
Ryan hesitated, looking at me as though trying to decide if I was certain. If I meant it.
‘Yes,’ I said again, ignoring the doubts that reverberated within me. My head might know all the reasons why this was impulsive. Reckless. But my heart didn’t care.
It felt like we were reclaiming something we’d lost. A moment where everything had been perfect. Where the future had been ours.
And, this time, I knew that neither of us would let that slip away.
Ryan surged to his feet, wrapping his arms around me tightly as he lifted my feet off the sand.
I laughed breathlessly as he set me down. ‘We should do it here,’ I said instinctively.
He blinked. ‘What?’
‘Before we leave,’ I added quickly. ‘Let’s not wait. Not this time.’
‘But…’ Ryan hesitated, as though afraid of disappointing me, ‘all the paperwork, the legal stuff, it took weeks last time, and our flight leaves in a few days. I already extended my trip to match yours.’
‘I know.’
‘We could come back…’ he suggested.
I tipped my head as I studied him.
‘We could wait a few weeks. Plan it properly. Do it right. The way it was supposed to be.’
It sounded so reasonable. Sensible. But…
‘It’ll feel like last time,’ I said flatly. ‘Leaving here with everything unfinished. Telling ourselves we’ll come back once things settle. That life won’t get in the way.’
Ryan exhaled slowly. ‘But it did.’
I nodded.
‘We sacrificed what mattered to us and put everyone, everything, else first. Like we could wait,’ he said.
I swallowed. ‘And we lost everything,’ I said quietly.
Silence settled between us.
‘I don’t want to lose this. Not again.’
Ryan shook his head. ‘We won’t, not this time.’
I bit my lip. ‘We could still have a ceremony. Here. Before we leave.’
He frowned slightly. ‘It wouldn’t be real.’
‘It would be to me.’
His expression shifted. ‘To us,’ he corrected.
A lump lodged in my throat.
It would be a commitment. Something I didn’t have last time.