The Jealous Girl

Chapter 24

THEN

Late July

I stood behind the reception desk, immersed in the familiar summer buzz of check-out.

It wasn’t quite the same as the Radisson Blu Resort and Spa Golden Sands in Malta, with its sleek reception desk in a vast, open lounge, with soft sofas arranged beneath floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the bay.

The Swanage Bay Hotel was different. Smaller.

Cosier. What it lacked in modern polish, it made up for in quiet elegance, rich with character and history.

The old grey brick walls were lined with framed photographs of Swanage, each one a small window into the past. A grandfather clock ticked steadily in the corner, its rhythm threading through the low hum of conversation.

It was busy. The end of July always was.

The breakfast rush had just died down, and now guests clustered around the desk, returning keys, paying bills.

I loved this part. The structure of it. The rhythm.

There was a system to everything. And, even when something didn’t quite fit, when something unexpected cropped up, I knew how to handle it. Solve it.

‘That’s everything sorted,’ I said with a practised smile, sliding the receipt across the desk. ‘I hope you had a lovely stay.’

‘We did, thank you,’ the woman replied, gathering her bag, as she smiled up at her husband. ‘We’ll definitely be back.’

‘I look forward to seeing you again soon, then,’ I said lightly.

They smiled and stepped aside as the next guest moved forward.

‘Good morning, checking out?’

Everything flowed easily. The questions, the small talk. My fingers moving across the keyboard without hesitation.

The front door opened. I barely glanced up at first, I just had the faint flicker of awareness of someone’s presence. It was force of habit, no matter what I was doing; I was always alert, always conscious of the comings and goings in the lobby.

But today something made my gaze catch. My fingers stilled against the keyboard as my attention shifted fully to the person who had just entered.

Charlotte.

My stomach tightened.

She crossed the lobby as though she belonged there, weaving between the departing guests.

Except she didn’t belong.

This was my work.

My world.

I dragged my attention back to the screen and printed the final bill for the waiting guest.

‘If I could just get your signature here,’ I said, my voice wobbling just a little.

The man took the pen and signed where I indicated.

Just stick to the routine, I told myself silently. Yet my rhythm faltered.

‘Good morning, checking out?’ I greeted the next guest, but my gaze kept flicking up, my attention divided between them and her.

She stood off to the side. Still watching me.

I swallowed. What was she doing here?

‘That’s everything sorted,’ I said to the final guest. ‘Have a good journey home.’

I turned back to my screen, busying myself with the routine as they gathered their bags and departed with a cheery goodbye.

It was just Charlotte and me left in the lobby now.

I didn’t look up. Part of me hoped if I just ignored her long enough, she would just disappear.

She didn’t. I heard her footsteps cross the lobby, closing the space between us.

I stayed where I was, grateful for the reception desk between us.

‘Can I help you?’ I asked, without looking up. The words came out automatically, but they lacked my usual warmth.

‘Looks like you’ve had a busy morning,’ she said lightly.

I glanced up and shrugged. ‘It’s normal for this time of year.’

A beat passed between us. She didn’t move. Didn’t speak.

I frowned slightly, a strange feeling creeping in. She was waiting for me to ask why she was here. Or, indeed, ask how she even knew that I worked here.

I didn’t. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing her presence unsettled me.

Charlotte turned, surveying the lobby. The worn floorboards. The heavy furniture. The dim amber lighting that softened everything.

Her nose wrinkled. ‘It’s very—’

‘I like it,’ I said, before she could finish.

Her eyes flickered back to me. ‘Of course you do.’ A small smile tugged at her lips. ‘It’s very you.’

I gritted my teeth. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I cursed myself for rising to her bait. This is what she wanted. A reaction.

‘It’s very safe.’

I swallowed.

‘Unlike the stables,’ she continued. ‘That was always a little too adventurous for you, wasn’t it?’

I wanted to deny it, but the accuracy of her words dug into me.

Two Years Ago – Mid July

Charlotte was in the paddock, saddling a grey horse.

That was all I needed: Charlotte hanging around to witness my feeble attempts to ride.

I glanced around, searching for Ryan. Maybe I could persuade him to send her away.

They were always complaining how busy the stables were, it was silly for Charlotte to be wasting time here.

Better yet, maybe I could persuade him he didn’t have time to waste giving me an unwanted riding lesson either…

‘He’s not coming.’ Charlotte’s words silenced the commentary in my head.

‘Oh.’ Relief flickered briefly. I didn’t need to talk Ryan out of this fiasco after all.

And, yet, it was instantly replaced with a familiar twinge of disappointment. Not because he’d missed our lesson. But because he’d bailed on me. Again.

I turned away, pushing that thought away as I headed back to the house.

‘Not so fast,’ Charlotte called after me. ‘Ryan asked me to give you your lesson instead.’

I swung back. ‘You?’ I stared at her in disbelief. ‘Ryan asked you to teach me?’

‘Yeah, I’m not thrilled about it either,’ she said with a roll of her eyes as she fastened a strap on the saddle. ‘But what can I do? He’s the boss.’

‘Well, thank you for the—’ I swallowed ‘—offer. But that’s okay. I’ll wait until Ryan has time to teach me himself.’

‘Why?’ she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice as she straightened up. ‘Too scared you’re going to embarrass yourself in front of me?’

I stilled. How had she known that?

‘No,’ I lied. ‘It’s just… this is something Ryan and I said we’d do together. It was important to him.’

She shrugged. ‘I guess not that important, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked me, would he?’

Her words stung. No doubt that was exactly what she’d intended.

She jerked her head towards the horse. ‘We might as well get on with it.’

I didn’t move.

‘You’ll never be much use around here if you can’t even get near a horse.’

‘I’m helping with the admin,’ I said indignantly. I might not be working with the horses, but I was still doing my best to pitch in.

‘You’d be more help if you could muck out a stall and saddle a horse, like the rest of us.’

I scrunched my nose.

‘Ryan would appreciate it,’ she added.

I could tell from the twitch of her mouth that she was playing me.

And it was working.

Reluctantly, I stepped through the open gate. ‘Should I close it?’ I asked, already reaching for the weathered wood.

Charlotte didn’t even look at me. ‘It’s fine as it is.’

I hesitated, my hand hovering in mid-air. If I left the gate open, the horse could get out with me riding him. If I closed it, I’d be trapped in here with him.

My stomach stirred. Neither option appealed.

‘Go on,’ Charlotte said, jerking her head towards the horse tied to the railing.

I didn’t move.

The only way to get over your fear is to face it head on.

Ryan’s words circled my brain.

Don’t worry, I’ll be right there with you.

I frowned, and forced my feet forwards. So much for his promise. At least if he was the one teaching me, I would have felt calmer. Safer.

I pressed my lips together. Maybe.

I paused beside the horse. Up close, he looked even bigger. But it wasn’t his size that was most unsettling. It was the way he watched me. Wary. Almost knowing.

I glanced at Charlotte, waiting for her to provide instructions.

‘Just put your foot in the stirrup and hoist yourself up,’ she said, as though it was easy.

Reluctantly, I reached for the saddle, my hands stiff and uncooperative.

I didn’t want to do this. But I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of watching me back out.

I shoved my left foot into the stirrup and hauled myself up, before I changed my mind.

I swung my right leg over the horse and landed in the saddle with a small jolt.

I blinked. I’d actually done it. I’d mounted a horse.

I glanced down at the ground, and the saddle shifted slightly to the left.

My momentary pride dissipated instantly.

I was too high. Too exposed. Unbalanced and unsteady.

My grip tightened on the reins as my body locked.

‘Hang on a sec,’ Charlotte said, as she reached for her phone in her pocket.

I turned, my stomach dropping. ‘What—’

She turned her back, pressing her phone to her ear. ‘Hello?’

My pulse spiked. She was taking a call now? Seriously? I hadn’t even heard it ring. How could she allow herself to get distracted at a time like this?

The horse lowered his head, nuzzling the railing. I leaned forward slightly, curiosity slipping in despite myself. He lifted his head and tugged his reins.

‘What’s he doing?’ I asked, my voice tight.

Charlotte glanced back at me and chuckled. ‘He’s trying to untie his reins. Spook’s good at that.’

I froze. I was on a horse that knew how to escape.

I glanced back at the gate, wishing I’d ignored Charlotte’s instruction to leave it open.

Spook stomped his hoof. I gasped as the saddle shifted beneath me again. Every muscle in my body tensed. Were saddles supposed to move from side to side like that?

It’ll all end in tears.

Janine’s voice echoed in my ears. Though I don’t think she ever had this particular situation in mind.

Spook tugged again.

I could see it already. Him breaking free. Bolting. And me, trying to cling on as the saddle slipped and I hit the ground.

I shook my head. I couldn’t do this. Without a second thought, I flung my right leg behind me and leapt down from the saddle in one quick movement.

‘What are you doing?’ Charlotte asked as my feet hit the ground with a thud.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to.

She sighed, tucking her phone back in her pocket. ‘You didn’t even try.’

‘I did,’ I shot back.

She snorted. ‘I doubt Ryan will see it that way.’

I glared at her as she took Spook’s reins and led him back to the stables.

No. I took a deep breath. He probably wouldn’t.

Something told me she would make sure of that.

I tried to shake the memory away as Charlotte shrugged. ‘I am surprised you stayed in Dorset. Why didn’t you leave when you and Ryan broke up?’

‘It’s my home.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s Ryan’s home. He brought you here.’ Her tone betrayed her distaste of that fact. ‘You had no job. No commitments. No family. Not even any friends. Just him.’ She arched an eyebrow as she stared at me. ‘So why stay somewhere you had nothing?’

Her words settled heavily between us, blunt but accurate. Back then I’d had nothing. Except him.

‘I have things here now,’ I said steadily. ‘A job. Friends. A life.’

But then, I’d had all that before too, and I’d given it up. For him.

Charlotte tipped her head to the right. ‘You could have left,’ she said simply. ‘Gone back to Malta. Or started somewhere new.’

She was right. I could have done. I knew that – I’d always known that. Instead, I’d stayed.

She gave a slow shake of her head, pity emanating from her. ‘You were waiting,’ she said softly. ‘Whether you want to admit it or not.’

‘That’s rid—’

‘You were so infatuated with Ryan,’ she cut in, ‘that you put your life on hold for two years, waiting for a chance to try and win him back.’

‘That’s not true,’ I protested quickly. Too quickly. ‘I wasn’t waiting for him,’ I added more calmly.

Charlotte’s expression shifted. Disbelief oozing from her. It was clear what she thought.

But she was wrong. I hadn’t stayed in Dorset for Ryan. I’d stayed in spite of him.

I’d needed to salvage something from the rubble of our relationship. To have fled Dorset would have felt like admitting that coming here had only ever been about him. As though I’d uprooted my whole life for nothing.

I’d stayed because I needed to make Dorset work for me. Without him.

I nibbled my lip. Didn’t I?

‘So, what happened?’ Charlotte asked. ‘Did you get tired of waiting?’

I frowned.

‘Two years,’ she said. ‘And then suddenly you’re back in his life again.’

Charlotte’s gaze lingered on me. There was something about it. Not curiosity. Something sharper. Almost territorial.

I swallowed, a flicker of unease settling low in my stomach.

Why did it matter to her?

Why did I matter to her?

I’d stayed away from the stables. From her. And yet, here she was, in my world. Asking questions. Demanding answers. As though she had the right.

My fingers curled at my sides.

What was Ryan to her?

It wasn’t the first time that question had surfaced. But this time it came with another.

What was she to Ryan?

I forced a shrug, keeping my voice light. ‘That was a coincidence.’

‘Or did you decide to take matters into your own hands?’

‘What are you talking about?’

She scoffed. ‘You can’t expect anyone to actually believe it was a coincidence you and Ryan just happened to be on the same flight to Malta.’

‘You think I planned it?’ I shook my head in bewilderment. ‘How?’

Charlotte rolled her eyes. ‘It wouldn’t be that difficult to find out he was going.’

I let out a short laugh. ‘From whom? Those many friends you seem convinced I don’t have?’

She didn’t respond. She just stared at me, waiting.

I held her gaze, refusing to look away. I wasn’t backing down from her, not this time. Because I hadn’t orchestrated our reunion.

But—

The thought slipped in before I could stop it.

I hadn’t planned it, but I hadn’t resisted it either.

If I’d truly moved on and not been waiting for him, would he have been able to step back into my life so easily?

And, for all his promises that things would be different this time, had anything really changed?

We still had the same feelings.

The same challenges.

And the same people who always seemed to find a way between us.