Chapter 28
THEN
Early August
I rolled over carefully, not wanting to wake Ryan, as my eyelids fluttered open. Soft morning light already filtered through the vertical blinds.
I frowned as my gaze fell upon the empty space beside me.
Propping myself up on an elbow, I glanced towards the en suite. The door was wide open.
‘Ryan?’ I called softly.
I listened closer. For a response. For movement. But there was nothing. Just silence.
I dropped back onto the pillow with a groan.
He’d left already.
No warm kiss. No sleepy hug. No quiet moment before starting the day.
He was just gone.
Again.
I puffed my cheeks out and exhaled slowly.
It felt all too familiar.
I shook the thought away quickly.
This was different.
This was temporary.
A few weeks and everything would settle. The summer rush would ease. He’d talk to his dad. He’d pull back from Blackwater.
He’d promised.
Though… he’d promised that before, too.
The unwelcome thought slipped into my consciousness before I could stop it, bringing a flicker of unease with it.
I threw the duvet off and swung my legs out of bed, as though physically distancing myself from it.
This wasn’t the same.
He lived here now. With me.
I grabbed my phone and padded to the kitchen barefooted.
Dropping my phone on the kitchen worktop, I filled the water jug and slid it back into the Nespresso machine, dropped in a capsule, placed a mug beneath it and pressed the button.
I leaned back against the counter, listening to the pop and gurgle of the machine as it whirred to life. I reached for my phone and opened WhatsApp.
Morning love.
I missed you this morning. I hope you have a good day.
I’m on the day shift today, so I’ll be home around 7.
I hit send.
At least I’d be home early enough to eat together tonight. We could actually sit down together. Talk.
I smiled as my shoulders eased.
There hadn’t been much time for that in the last two weeks since we’d got back from Malta. Between his long days and my shifts, we seemed to be crossing paths rather than living together.
But tonight would be different.
The Nespresso machine gave a final splutter. I picked up the mug, blowing gently across the surface, eager to take that first blissful sip.
Ben always used to tease me for that.
I scrunched my nose, the thought of him catching me off guard.
Another man who I’d never quite figured out.
Two Years Ago – Mid July
I blew across the top of my mug and set a second cup into place beneath the machine, tapping the button again.
I glanced towards the office door standing partially open, the distant sounds from the yard drifting in.
Picking up my notepad, I scanned the list of questions I’d scribbled down ready to ask Ben when he arrived.
I still felt bad that he was getting the worst end of this deal.
Giving up his morning break to help me figure out the chaos of Blackwater’s systems just for a cup of coffee didn’t seem like a fair exchange.
But he didn’t seem to mind.
After all, he kept showing up every morning for his coffee.
I frowned as I checked the door again.
The machine finished. I placed the cup opposite mine on the desk and turned back to the screen.
Farrier invoice.
What did that mean?
I frowned, reached for my pen and added another question to the list.
‘Kirsty,’ Ryan said as he poked his head through the doorway. ‘I’ve got to head out. Looking at a new horse this morning. Might be a while. Don’t wait for me for lunch, okay?’
Disappointment flickered within me, but I smiled and nodded. ‘Okay.’
He turned to go.
‘Hey, Ryan,’ I called quickly. ‘Have you seen Ben this morning?’
A flash of agitation passed across Ryan’s face, but he didn’t respond.
‘He’s usually here by now,’ I added, lifting my notepad with a small laugh. ‘If he doesn’t hurry up, this list is going to double.’
‘He quit,’ Ryan said flatly.
I blinked. ‘What?’
Ryan shrugged. ‘Left yesterday.’
A wave of panic hit me and I glanced back at the computer screen. How was I going to figure all this out without him?
I turned back to Ryan.
‘Did he leave a number? A message? Anything?’
Ryan’s eyes narrowed slightly. ‘You don’t have his number already?’
I shook my head. ‘No. Why would I?’
‘We’ll have it in the records,’ he said. ‘But you can’t use it. Data protection.’
‘Right,’ I said quietly. ‘Of course.’
He turned to leave again.
‘Did he say why?’ I asked.
Ryan paused. He looked impatient to get going and I was delaying him.
‘I just thought he loved it here, you know, working with the horses, gaining experience for his course…’
Ryan shrugged. ‘Guess there was nothing keeping him here.’
His gaze dropped to the second cup of coffee cooling on my desk. ‘I didn’t realise you two were so close.’
‘We’re friends,’ I said slowly, wondering how true that was now. ‘He’s been helping me.’
‘And you’re here to help me,’ Ryan said with a hint of bitterness to his tone as he walked out.
‘Hi,’ I called, stepping into the flat and kicking off my shoes. ‘Hope you’re hungry, I picked up—’
I stopped in the doorway.
Ryan sat at the table, fork halfway to his mouth.
‘You’re eating without me.’
He gave a little shrug. ‘Yeah, wasn’t sure what time you’d be home, so…’ He popped the fork into his mouth.
‘But I picked up a pizza,’ I said, holding the square box up as though he needed proof.
‘Sorry,’ Ryan said, his voice muffled.
I dropped the pizza on the table. ‘I sent you a message, told you I’d be here for seven,’ I said, fishing my phone out of my pocket and pulling up the WhatsApp chat.
Ryan glanced at the screen. ‘Didn’t see it.’
‘Oh.’ My shoulders dropped. The message was still unread. Never mind, what we ate wasn’t important. The point was we were both here. Together.
I grabbed a plate and slid into the chair opposite him, as I reached for a slice of pizza.
Ryan scraped his fork against his bowl, shovelling the last remnants of his rice into his mouth and started to stand.
‘There’s plenty, if you want some?’ I said, nudging the box towards him.
‘Nah,’ he patted his stomach, ‘I’m good.’
He dropped his dish into the sink. ‘I’m going to take a shower.’
‘But—’ The word died on my lips as he walked out of the room.
I stared after him. He’d seemed irritated.
With me?
Or something else?