Chapter 56
NOW
September
‘How are you feeling?’ I asked as I slipped into the chair opposite Ben, the hum of the café comforting and familiar now.
Ben touched the back of his head gently. ‘Still got a bit of a lump, but otherwise as good as new.’
I laughed. He never let anything keep him down for long.
‘Have you spoken to Ryan?’ he asked tentatively.
I nodded. ‘He apologised.’
‘And?’
‘He wants us to get back together.’
He took a deep breath and looked down at the table. ‘I figured that would happen.’
‘I said no.’
Ben smiled. ‘That doesn’t surprise me.’
I frowned. I hadn’t been sure what I would do and yet he knew.
‘It certainly surprised Ryan,’ I said.
Ben chuckled softly. ‘I can imagine.’ He tipped his head to the side and studied me carefully. ‘How do you feel about your decision?’
‘Sad.’ My shoulders rose and fell as I took a deep breath.
‘But I know it’s the right thing. I loved him.
But we were never really partners. He never really let me into his life enough for that.
Even when things got hard.’ I shook my head.
‘We never fought. But we never talked either. He just withdrew into silence while I shrank.’
Silence lulled between us.
‘I’m not going to do that any more. Shrink myself to fit, always afraid of being too much.’
Ben nodded firmly. ‘Good. You shouldn’t have to change. Not at that level. The right person would accept you how you are.’
I nodded. I believed that now.
‘I came to Dorset for Ryan. It was never what I wanted. And if I’m honest with myself, even when we broke up, I stayed because of him, too.
Because I thought there was something unfinished between us.
’ I shrugged. ‘Now I realise everything we had ended two years ago. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it. ’
‘So, what do you want? Just for you. No one else.’
I licked my lips. ‘What I always wanted… To travel. Work abroad.’
‘You’re going back to Malta?’
I shook my head. ‘No, somewhere new.’
Malta would always belong to us. Ryan and the old me.
It was time for somewhere that was mine.
‘When you’re settled, maybe I could visit…’ Ben suggested hesitantly.
I smiled. ‘I’d like that.’
The words felt light. Uncomplicated.
Ben had his own future ahead of him. Finishing his veterinary training. Qualifying as a vet. A life that was already taking shape.
And for the first time, so did I.
Wherever that took me, this time I didn’t need someone to come with me. I was finally building something of my own.