CHAPTER NINETEEN
Blue
I’m going to explode. Garrick slides a finger into me while he sucks on my clit and there’s no holding back my loud moan of pleasure.
I really did have every intention of playing it cool and not falling completely apart. If I let him know how good this feels, he’s never going to let me forget it.
He doesn’t need to be anymore cocky than he already is.
He slides another finger into me, stops sucking and starts licking, and I forget where the hell I am. I forget my name.
But I sure as hell remember his and I say it on a moan, with all kinds of emotion I was hoping to avoid.
What is this man doing to me?
He pumps his fingers and I’m gone. I’m screaming my release and arching off the bed.
And the bastard doesn’t stop. He doesn’t even let me float back down to earth, but keeps licking and sucking and curling his fingers in just the right spot inside me.
It’s too much. I’m too over sensitized.
I beg him to stop. It’s the ‘this feels so good it can’t be healthy, I think I’m going to literally explode now’ sense of overwhelm.
He pauses and I look down to see him grinning up at me. “You say you want me to stop, but the sounds you’re making and the way your pussy is pulsing around my fingers clearly tell me you’re enjoying yourself.”
Thank goodness he’s stopped long enough to say all that. It gives me a chance to catch my breath and find the energy to glare at him. “It feels too good. I can’t handle it.”
He tilts his head to the side. “How can something feel too good?”
He dives back down onto me, and I’m hit with more aftershocks that feel so good I’m pretty sure I literally crash into the ceiling.
Before I’ve come back to my senses, he’s on top of me, his body braced over mine.
Gasping to catch my breath, I stare at him, his muscles flexing as he holds himself up, his mouth wet from me, his expression hungry.
Just the way he’s looking at me is heady, and I have a sneaking suspicion one time with him is never going to be enough.
“I want to fuck you now,” he says. “You still on board with that?”
“Oh, I’m all the way on board with that. I’m so on board with it that if you don’t get inside me in the next—”
He slides into me, and I forget what I was saying. His smirk makes it clear he knows what he’s doing to me. He’s filling me so well, I don’t have to have seen his naked cock to know he’s large and thick and fits me perfectly.
He moves farther into me and I screw my eyes shut, because looking at him and feeling him enter me all at the same time is too much and I am not going to give him the satisfaction of coming again before he’s all the way inside me.
“You still okay?” he asks.
And I know, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that if I say I’m not okay, he’ll immediately pull out. I know there will be no recriminations or anger or petty guilt trips. He’ll stop because I asked him to.
There’s a safety and a pleasure in that knowledge that makes me stop caring he’ll be impossibly cocky about how easily he can get me off. Maybe he deserves to be.
I open my eyes and look up at him. “I’m beyond okay. Please don’t stop.”
“Oh.” He grins. “You’re saying please now? Am I actually fucking some manners into you?”
He’s impossible. And ridiculous. But also kind and caring and a good person. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not likely to change.”
He thrusts the rest of the way into me, making me gasp. His gaze goes distant and he moans out a sound that ramps up my pleasure. “Good. I like you exactly as you are.”
He moves in and out of me slowly, like he’s savoring every sensation. I know I am. I’m also loving the way his face changes and the sounds he makes.
Garrick Evergreen is so sensual, so attuned to every sensation.
Just when I expect him to pick up his pace and find his own climax, he leans back on his heels, lifting my hips as he continues to thrust into me.
The new angle feels amazing. Then he puts his thumb on my clit and rubs.
It does not feel good. And it relaxes me to know he’s not an actual god in bed. We’re not sexual soul mates. We’re two humans attracted to each other.
“Softer,” I say, slapping at his hand. “And in bigger circles.”
He eases up immediately, following directions better than he ever has before with me.
He follows directions so well, I’m hitting another orgasm before I expect it. It’s like a gentle wave with an impossibly high climax that feels so deliciously intoxicating I wish I could bottle it.
Once I come back down from that high, Garrick pulls out and urges me onto all fours. “Do you like it this way?” he asks.
“I haven’t found a way I don’t like it, yet.”
He doesn’t waste a moment. He grips my hips and thrusts into me, moving hard and fast and at such a perfect angle that aftershocks of my orgasm lash through me over and over again.
He reaches his own climax with a groan and a shout, then rolls us onto our sides while he’s still inside me. He hugs me tight against his chest and I yawn, feeling sleepy and good and protected.
I could get used to this. Which is why I say, “You should probably take care of the condom before we have any accidents,” before I get too comfortable.
“Oh, shit.” His body tenses behind me and my stomach sinks.
“You didn’t use a condom?”
“Fuck. I swear, Blue, I never forget. Never. I’m always careful, but I was so… And you were so…”
He pulls out of me, and I sit up, turning to see him looking truly panicked.
“It’s not all on you,” I say. “I forgot about it, too. I never let a man inside me without making sure he’s wrapped it up.” I was as lost in the moment as he was. I can’t blame him.
I got too comfortable with him, too trusting, and I didn’t think.
He doesn’t relax. “Are you on the pill?”
I sigh. “No. It does horrible things to my brain and body. I had to stop.” I hold up a hand. “But I’m clean, I promise. It’s been months since I’ve hooked up with anyone.” He doesn’t need to know it’s been closer to a year. I don’t want him reading into it if I explain that one-night stands were feeling empty and not fun. He’s not special. He’s just really fucking sexy.
And if I keep telling myself that, maybe I’ll convince myself it’s true.
“I’m clean too,” he says. “I get tested regularly, and it’s been a few months for me.”
My stomach roils as I consider the other possible consequence of unprotected sex. I’ve never even considered kids. I would have to be in a relationship to think about kids and I’ve never wanted a relationship.
I can’t have kids. I’ll be a terrible mother, just like my mother. The poor child’s life will be misery. It’ll be awful, I can’t—
Garrick grabs my shoulders. “Breathe, Blue. It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.”
I nod, stiffly. “I’m probably fine, right? It’s been like a week since my last period, so I’ll be good.”
Garrick’s eyes go wide, but he lets out a breath and visibly relaxes. “I have no idea. My sex ed class sucked, and I’ve never been in this situation before.”
“It’s okay.” Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it. “We’re going to be okay.”
“Garrick?” someone shouts up the stairs. “Garrick, are you home?”
His eyes go wide again. “Shit. I’m sorry. We have to get dressed. They’re going to be up here in about thirty seconds if we don’t get down there first.”
“It’s okay.” I move off the bed on autopilot. I’m not pregnant. There’s no way I’m pregnant. “Maybe I should run out to the drugstore and just make sure…”
Garrick stares at me, confused. “What?”
“The morning-after pill, Evergreen. I can make sure there’s no unexpected consequences.”
He nods, his shoulders relaxing. “Good idea. I’ll go with you. We’ll tell them we need to pick up…”
“Something personal for me. They don’t need to know more than that.”
He nods again, stiffly. “Right. You’re right.”
We dress in silence. I can’t believe I got so caught up in this guy that I didn’t take care of myself and make sure he had a condom. I have never been that person.
But somehow Garrick makes me that person. Which is why I need to keep my distance from him.