39. Chapter 39
Sasha
By the time we reached the SUV, the sky was painted in faint tones of orange and pink of the sunset, the metallic scent of blood and gunpowder still clung faintly to everything.
I didn’t let go of her.
Not once.
Not when we stepped over cracked asphalt, not when one of my men opened the rear door without being asked, and not when I pushed her against the side of the car, caging her in.
“Fuck, baby. I thought I might lose you,” I murmured, the words lower now, roughened by everything I hadn’t said inside.
Addy’s expression softened immediately, her fingers idly playing with my necklace.
“I’m sorry.”
“This will never fucking happen again,” I said, sliding my hand from the back of her neck to her jaw and brushing my thumb lightly along her skin.
Not just to reassure myself she was real, but to express everything I didn’t have the words for.
“I can’t make this world safe for you, Addy.
I can’t protect you from everything, but I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re never put in that kind of situation again. ”
Logic screamed that none of this was her fault. But the moments she’d been at someone else’s mercy had shredded my composure into jagged fragments I barely managed to keep together.
Addy opened her mouth but then seemed to think better of it. “Okay. I kind of really hope so too, because I really don’t want to shoot anyone else in the balls.”
From somewhere behind us, Kyrill made a strangled choking sound, like he physically could not contain himself anymore.
“Don’t laugh!” She turned to glare at Kyrill. “It was an accident. I really don’t think I should’ve had a gun to begin with. My hand-eye coordination is still shit.”
I just stared at her, letting the tension finally bleed out. And then something broke inside me, a laugh tearing free before I could stop it.
This woman — my woman — had been kidnapped, stared down death, and had survived not through brute force but through sheer cunning, stubborn humanity, and an ability to see the bigger picture, even when all seemed lost.
I pulled her close, my arm tight around her waist, quiet and possessive, grounding myself in the fact that she was real, alive, and mine to hold.
Love for a man like me was never going to be gentle; it was always going to be catastrophic and all-consuming.
When we were finally alone, the silence between us was anything but calm. It was like pressure threatening to boil over, sparks on the verge of igniting or a grenade about to explode.
The door to our bedroom shut quietly behind us. But the violence I hadn’t unleashed tonight was still under my skin, looking for an outlet.
Her breath caught for a moment when she saw the expression on my face, then she lifted her chin. My gaze dropped involuntarily to her mouth before I dragged it back up.
“You were taken,” I said, my voice growing tense, “and I wasn’t there.”
“I handled it.”
I sighed. “Yeah. You did … doesn’t mean I wish you’d never had to go through it in the first place.”
I stepped closer, close enough to see the faint marks still circling her wrists.
Something dark flared in my chest. “Fuck, baby. You were tied up in a warehouse full of armed men. Men who wanted to negotiate using your life.”
“And now they’re not,” she shot back. “Because I stopped it.”
“I know.”
God, I knew. That was the fucking problem.
I took another step, leaving barely any space between us.
“Might I remind you, you were seconds away from turning this situation into a massacre?”
“I heard you were taken…” My voice was rough, closer to something unguarded. “And every version of the story ended with me not getting you back.”
Addy’s expression shifted ever so slightly. If I hadn’t been paying such close attention, I would’ve missed it.
“That’s unacceptable.” My voice was hoarse. “Unbearable.”
“Sasha…”
I backed her slowly towards the bed, not trapping her, but also not giving her the opportunity to escape the pull between us.
“If they had hurt you…” I murmured, “I wouldn’t have stopped.”
Her breath came in fast, shallow pants. “I should probably be scared, right?”
“You scare the fuck out of me,” I admitted.
That surprised her.
“How can I protect you,” I continued quietly, my eyes locked on hers, “when you play by entirely different rules?”
“I’m not playing any games,” she protested, but her voice had lost some of its edge. “I’m simply seeing things from a different perspective.”
“And somehow, it works.”
Addy’s pulse jumped in her throat, my gaze drawn to the smooth skin of her neck. Before I could stop it, my hand moved and wrapped around her waist, pulling her just a fraction closer.
Her breath hitched again, her lips parting as she stared up at me.
“I was trying so hard to keep you out of all this.”
“I don’t want to be kept in the dark.” The passion burning in her eyes was electrifying. “I want to stand next to you.”
My grip tightened. Her hands came up and fisted lightly in my shirt — not to push me away, but to hold on.
“I’m not fragile. And I’m not something you can just lock away when things get complicated.”
“You could have died,” I repeated.
“So could you.” Addy’s eyes held mine. “All of us could die, every single day.”
Sliding my hand from her waist to her jaw, I tilted her face up and held it there.
“You’re the one thing in my life I cannot predict,” I admitted quietly. “The one thing I can’t control.”
Her lips parted again and she sighed. “I don’t want to be controlled. I want to be the one you choose to stand by you … no matter what we face.”
It felt like someone had punched all the air out of my lungs.
“I love you.”
The words came out low, rough and utterly unstoppable.
Addy’s grip on my shirt tightened, her nails digging into my chest.
“I love you,” I repeated, slower this time, my forehead nearly touching hers now. “And that makes you as precious as it makes you dangerous.”
Her expression visibly softened as her eyes searched mine.
“You think I don’t love you?” she whispered.
Her hand slid up to my jaw, mirroring me.
Holding me there.
Grounding me.
“I love you … which means I don’t stand behind you.” Her face was so close now I could feel her breath. “I stand next to you.”
Silence settled between us, thick and charged.
“You’re impossible,” I murmured.
Her lips curved slightly. “You love it.”
I did. Way too fucking much. The space between us had finally disappeared, not just physically. It was as if everything had fallen into place.
“If you ever disappear on me again,” I said quietly, my voice rough against her skin, “I won’t be this controlled about it.”
Addy huffed in amusement. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that next time I’m kidnapped.”
“How considerate of you.”
My hand slid from her jaw to the back of her neck, my fingers lightly tangling in her hair.
Addy’s lips were just a breath away. So close I could feel the hesitation — the choice — the inevitability of it. I closed the distance and for the first time since I’d received the call, everything in me finally, finally stilled.
Her breath caught the second my mouth found hers; the sound was instantly swallowed as the kiss deepened, and neither of us could pretend we were being careful. Tightening my grip at the back of her neck, I anchored her there, almost convinced if I let go, she might disappear again.
Addy didn’t pull away. If anything, she leaned into it.
Her fingers fisted harder in my shirt, dragging me closer. It was like she needed the same confirmation I did: this was real; we were both still here, and neither of us had crossed a line we couldn’t come back from.
The restraint I’d been holding onto all night cracked and the kiss shifted. It turned deeper and hungrier, edged with something that had nothing to do with anger anymore, but everything to do with its aftermath.
A barely there sound escaped her, but it hit something in my chest like a live wire.
I broke the kiss just long enough to breathe — forehead still pressed to hers, my hand still in her hair, my other locked at her waist like I didn’t trust the space between us not to open back up.
“Say it again,” I murmured, my voice rough.
Addy’s eyes flickered open, dazed for a fraction of a second before the fire came rushing back in.
“I love you.”
I kissed her again — harder this time, less restrained, all the words we hadn’t said pressed into it. Her hands slid up from my chest to my shoulders, then around my neck, pulling me closer like she had no intention of letting me regain control anytime soon.
Not that I wanted to.
The world outside this room fell away piece by piece until there was nothing left but the heat of her mouth, the sharp pull of her fingers, and the steady, grounding reality of her breathing against mine.
And this time, when I kissed her, I didn’t hold anything back.
I pressed my lips against hers, my tongue exploring her mouth at a leisurely pace. Tension twisted into heat and my cock stiffened as my fingers traced circles on her neck.
We tore each other’s clothes off, and by the time I threw her on our bed, her tits were already out and she was shimmying out of her pants.
“Sasha,” she breathed, letting her fingertips brush down my abs. Involuntarily, my muscles spasmed and my dick twitched.
Stepping out of my pants I looked up and sucked in a sharp breath when she spread her legs, exposing her glistening pussy to me.
“Fuck, baby. Look at you.”
Addy leaned back on her elbows, shooting me a teasing look, one eyebrow quirked in challenge. I sucked my teeth, shook my head slightly, and dropped to my knees.
There wasn’t a single thing about this woman that didn’t turn me on.
Yanking her to the edge of the bed, I threw her legs over my shoulders, her feet dangling at my back. Then I dove into her pussy, dragging my tongue in a long strip from asshole to clit. She threw her head back with a scream, and I couldn’t suppress the smile spreading across my face.