Chapter 1
I was discharged today, two weeks after I finally woke up from the induced coma.
My test results were normal, so there was no reason to stay in the hospital, but Ellie would remain there for a few more days.
Luma suffered more than I did—the car hit the tree on her side, which sent her into premature labor.
Between that and the trauma from the crash, she didn’t survive.
The same person who caused the accident was the one who rescued us, and as a lawyer, I’ve already filed every claim I can against them. Right now, all I can think about is my family. I just hope nothing worse happens to my daughter.
Ellie is doing well, but she’s underweight and her lungs still need to develop, which is why she’s still in the incubator.
I hope to take her home soon. My friend Mattia came to visit every day and offered to stay so I could rest. I refused, of course.
I wanted to be here all the time—my daughter no longer had her mother, so I had to give her everything I had.
The days have been incredibly hard. I’ve been away from the office—my team is managing, at least for now. I barely ate; I probably lost about twenty pounds. Showers? Those only happened when I was in the mood, or when Mattia dragged me out of the hospital by force.
And that’s how my life went for two long months. Ellie was finally discharged, and we went home. I hired a nurse to help take care of her because I didn’t know the first thing about babies.
“Owen, how’s everything going?” My friend arrives at my house.
“How do you think? Luma’s gone, I have a baby who needs all my love and attention, and I’m still learning how to take care of her. It’s not easy.”
“Don’t you think you need some rest? Let the nanny take care of Ellie and get some sleep. You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“You’re right—sleeping hasn’t been easy. I haven’t slept in days.”
“You miss her a lot, don’t you?”
“She was my anchor. I’ve been nothing without her.” Sadness was written all over my face.
“I get it, but now you have a daughter, and you have to be strong for her.”
“I won’t be able to live in peace until I put that bastard behind bars.”
“You’re still stuck on that? Revenge won’t bring her back—it’ll only destroy you more.”
“He killed Luma and almost killed my daughter. So yes, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him locked up for years.”
“Think carefully about what you’re doing, my friend. I just don’t want you to end up in a worse place.”
My friend, once again by my side, saying the things I needed to hear—but didn’t want to hear, or admit he was right about. My wife is gone. He took her from me and from my little Ellie, so he was going to pay for what he did. I swore it to Luma at her coffin, and I would keep that promise.
Mattia put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, said goodbye, and left, leaving me there with my daughter.
I picked her up and she smiled at me with that beautiful little toothless mouth.
She was already chubby and healthy, with rosy cheeks and adorable little rolls on her legs and arms—smiley, just like Luma.
In that moment, I remembered the day I buried my wife, my Luma.
“It was a cold day. I had been standing there for hours, next to her coffin, holding her hand—which was now cold.
I was grateful to Mattia for requesting they preserve her body until I woke up.
I just looked at her, but there was no expression on her face.
That beautiful smile she gave me every day was gone.
Tears wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes, and memories of our time together—dating, marriage—flashed before me.
When we got married, I bought the house we still live in, and she fell in love with the garden.
Every night, we’d lie on the grass, each with a glass of wine, and she’d ask me to sing her favorite song.
That was our moment, and I found it magical.
One day, we promised each other we’d fill that garden with children running everywhere.
With that memory, I smiled and started singing softly—the melody she loved so much.
Even though I’d found it strange at the time, I sang it to please her.
I just never expected it would one day make sense to me.
Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
She’s gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world
We were out on a date in my daddy’s car
We hadn’t driven very far
There in the road, straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead
I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right
I’ll never forget, the sound that night[1]
I stopped singing, squeezed her hand, and made a promise right there: I would take care of our daughter, but I would also put the bastard who killed her behind bars—where he should already be.
Even if I spent my whole life making his miserable, he would never be happy again.
He took my family, and I would destroy his, if he even had one.
From what I’d found on him, his wife died a few years ago, and there was no mention of children.
The tears kept streaming down my face like waterfalls.
Then I lean in close to her ear, as if she could hear me, and say:
“You weren’t supposed to leave us. You promised to spend your whole life with me, and now we have a daughter to raise.
Ellie is beautiful—she looks just like you, has your smile.
Tell me, what am I going to do without you?
How am I going to raise her alone? I promise you, my love, I’m going to put that bastard in jail, even if it costs me my life.
He’s going to pay for what he did to you. ”
Mattia comes up beside me and pulls me away from her. I try to resist—these would be our last moments—but I’m out of control, so he drags me to a separate room nearby.
The pain in my chest keeps growing. Despair consumes me. A hole opens beneath my feet, and it feels like I’m falling into an endless abyss. Why, God? What did I do to deserve this?
“Owen, easy now. I’m here with you, my friend.”
I grab my friend Mattia’s shirt—he’s holding me up—and say:
“I want Luma. My wife. I want her—only her.”
In that moment, my legs give out and I fall to my knees, still crying, as if tears could somehow ease the pain. I just want to die. I won’t be able to live without my beloved Luma.