Chapter 27
I wake up, but Owen isn’t in bed, and it’s only six thirty in the morning.
I decide to get up, and the moment I sit up, a powerful wave of nausea hits me.
I run to the bathroom and throw up everything in my stomach.
So strange—I’ve been feeling queasy around certain food smells for days now, but I’ve never actually vomited before.
I need to see a doctor and get this checked out—it could be gastritis or something like that. Today, once Ellie falls asleep, I’ll go to the hospital to find out what’s going on. I take a shower, get ready, and leave the room. When I head to my little one’s room, I see she’s already waking up.
“Good morning, my princess.”
“Good morning, Auntie Li.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yesss, like a little angel.”
I smile at the way she says it. I always ask her that, and today she actually answers me back. I can’t help thinking about how quickly children pick things up.
“Then let’s get up, get washed up, and go downstairs for breakfast.”
And that’s what we do. When I get to the kitchen, I don’t see Owen, but I don’t even need to ask—Ellie does it for me.
“Where’s Daddy, Mama?”
“He left a few minutes ago. He said he was late for a meeting, but he got up very early today. He must be having insomnia again.”
“Does he get it often, Mama?”
“It started after his wife died. Before that, the two of them were very happy, so I think he must miss her.”
That catches me off guard. I thought that after almost five years, he might have already forgotten her, but apparently not. And here I am, inexperienced as I am, having jumped headfirst into this relationship—one that doesn’t even have a label yet.
The time we spend together is wonderful—our nights are amazing, the outings we take—so I believed we were doing well.
I know love takes time to build; I’m not that naive.
But his wife died many years ago. He should be moving on with his life by now, of course remembering her fondly, especially since they have a daughter together.
I put that subject aside and call my friend Arianna.
“Hey, girl, how are you?”
“Hey, I need a favor. I haven’t been feeling well for a few days, but I don’t want to worry anyone here. Could you come with me to the hospital?”
“Of course I’ll go. Just tell me what time and I’ll be there.”
I arrange to go after Ellie falls asleep—that way I won’t have to worry if I need any tests done. At the time we agreed on, she’s there waiting for me.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going for a drive with Arianna. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Okay, just don’t come back too late.”
“All right.”
I smile at Owen and blow him a kiss as I leave, closing the door behind me.
On the way, my friend starts asking what’s going on.
“You’ve never liked hospitals. Why go now? It must be serious.”
“I really don’t like them—ever since my mother died, I can’t stand going. But I’ve been having some strange symptoms, and I think it might be gastritis.”
“And what are the symptoms?”
“Nausea and vomiting, and I didn’t eat anything spoiled.”
“Girl, you’re pregnant.”
“But we were careful—we always used protection.”
“And you never once went without a condom?”
I stop to think, and our first time comes to mind—he didn’t use a condom. A careless mistake on both our parts. I also try to remember my period, when it last came. It was last month.
“Dammit. Stop at a pharmacy.”
We stop at the first one we find. I buy two tests from different brands, get back in the car, and ask her to drive somewhere. The closest place is the mall. We go into the bathroom, I take both tests, and put them back in the boxes—I’m too scared to look at the results.
Five minutes later, my friend grabs the boxes.
“Do you want to look, or do you want me to check for you?”
“You look. I don’t think I have the courage.”
“Amy, if it’s positive, it’s already done. There’s no going back.”
“I can’t be pregnant with his baby—he put my father in jail.”
“Yes, but we don’t control our feelings. They just happen, and that’s how it was with you two.”
“Just imagine when he finds out who I am, and all the time I’ve been deceiving him. I don’t even want to think about that right now.”
Arianna grabs the tests and opens both at once.
I barely have the courage to look, but I do—and on the small screen of both: “pregnant.” I fall apart.
I start crying and my friend hugs me. I never expected to get pregnant, especially not with Owen.
I’ve been acting behind his back, and now I end up pregnant.
“What do I do? I feel completely lost.”
“Forget about those documents, tell him the truth, and go live your life. You and your father barely even talk.”
“I’m not doing that. I’m so close to getting those documents—just one more shot and I’ll have them.”
“Have you considered that you could ruin his career?”
“He never thought about my father’s life, whether he had a family, so I’m not going to worry about that—not now.”
“You need to calm down so we can leave. Then whenever you’re ready, we’ll schedule an appointment at the hospital for you. After all, you’ve got prenatal care to think about, right?”
“Thank you so much. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
I grab the tests and slip them into my purse. I can’t tell him—not now. After I get the documents, I’ll tell him. Then I’ll have to be honest. Whether he’ll forgive me, I don’t know. I’m not going to worry about that now.