Chapter 34
Elastic Limit
Zoe
It was clear after we had started the movie last night, we were all much more tired than we thought.
Brandon was lightly snoring immediately after the opening; Teddy fell asleep with his head in my lap while I toyed with his long hair.
Dean and I stayed awake for a bit longer, but somewhere around the halfway mark I dozed off against his shoulder.
I jump awake with a start, worried that I may not be up in time for mandatory five AM breakfast with Max.
I take in my surroundings, and I see that I’m back in my room, and it's still dark outside with no sign of the early morning sun. It’s not until I try to move that I realize I’m not alone in my bed, not alone at all.
To my left is Dean, barely squeezed into the crowded bed and a strong arm locked around my waist. To my right is Brandon, also slightly hanging off the bed but his hand is lying flat against my stomach. I shift my legs, and I can make out a Teddy clutching to both of my legs like a lifeline.
I let out a contempt sigh as I carefully slid myself up, so my back was against the headboard. I was careful and slow enough not to stir them awake.
My eyes adjust to the dark a bit better, and the small night light on the opposite wall gives me an advantage to actually take in my surroundings.
The men have really made me feel comfortable in this room, especially after they went out of their way to decorate it to my liking.
Just hints of my personality flaked around the room to make it really feel like mine.
However, now I don’t think it’d be a horrible idea to get a bigger bed.
I didn’t realize how close I’ve gotten to these men, even the insufferable Max.
I’m scared. I’ve never gotten close to anyone, ever.
Growing up in a basement alone with your evil-scientist dad and his invisible assistant until you’re in your late teens does that.
Even when I got out, I didn’t try to find friends, of course the occasional one-night-stand, but I never really let anyone stick around.
And I sure as hell never made it an effort to stick around.
I’ve been out of the manor plenty of times now, I know their routines, I know just about every single crack and crevice of this house.
I could have left a long time ago. But I’ve chosen to stick around, and I think that scares me the most. I have ignored every natural instinct to flee, every instinct to run and hide.
I don’t deserve their kindness; I don’t deserve any of this.
Max said it when I first met him-- I stole from them.
I was literally molded into a monster, a weapon.
Yet, here they are holding me in my bed as some sort of shield made of flesh and will.
I am not good enough for them. Maybe I should leave, to make their lives easier.
I haven’t been much of a help after Max hired me, I’ve only brought more problems.
K.H. is after me, and has hired hits to have me kidnapped, and all my men have been able to focus on is to protect me. Find ways to keep me out of harm's way, when they have much bigger things to be concerned with.
If I wasn’t here, if I was never The Sparrow, their lives would be so much easier. I wouldn’t be a constant stress for Max, or a challenge to Dean, a reminder of Teddy’s sister, or a distraction for Brandon. I should leave, flee, bolt before anyone gets too attached.
That’s just it, I am attached. I am tied up in their ropes, and I have been hooked and trapped, with no sign for escape. I want to leave, I need to, but I can’t. I think I may… No. Don't say it…don’t think it.
“You’re thinking really hard this early in the morning.” A voice breaks through the silence, a low whisper that makes me tense. My eyes follow to where the sound came from, and I see the outline of Max sitting in a chair that’s pushed in the shadowed corner by the windows.
I shrug, afraid that speaking now might cause my thoughts to spill out uncontrollably. I blink my eyes a few more times forcing them to focus on Max’s face that is now subtly carved out in the early blue hues from the sky.
“You seem to have them wrapped around your finger, and so soon.” Max says so low that I almost think he’s speaking to himself. The moment his eyes lock on mine, I know he was saying it directly to me… accusing?
“I…” I start, but I can’t seem to think of an intelligent response, so I let the words die out on my tongue.
“How is it that you have managed to be exactly what each of us needs? The perfect balance to all of us? Did he send you here, are you the informant?” His voice is a little sharper now, each word edged with jagged corners and piercing lines.
The question throws me off for two reasons. The first being, that he said ‘us’. As in, he thinks I’m a perfect balance for him too. The second being, that he is so far left field I stumble on my own chuckle. “Wh-what? He as in… K.H.?”
“Yes.”
Max’s tone wavers, as if he knows just how ridiculous it sounds.
“No, Max. I don’t know who this K.H. is.
You kidnapped me, remember? You followed me until you caught me.
You made me the offer to work with the Karmas.
I was in no way orchestrated to be here.
” I started with a baffled shout, but I quickly turned it into a rushed whisper.
I know I’ve made it clear to him the second he drops his head into his hands.
“I know, I know…” He sounds defeated, but most of all exhausted. Had he slept at all last night? He continues, “It’s just crazy that we have found someone like you. Someone that fits so seamlessly with all of us. Not to mention, they don’t fight over you. It’s just easy.” He sighs.
“And you’ve never known easy, have you?” The raspiness in my voice surprises me, but I purposely don’t clear my throat-- hoping it’ll stay a little longer.
“No, none of us have. And maybe that’s why you have needled your way under our skin.”
I swallow thickly, “You as well?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in his response, and he finally stood from his chair, but he’s quick to switch the topic. “You have another fifteen minutes before you all need to be awake and downstairs. I’ll let you do the honors of waking your… boyfriends?”
This earns him a throaty giggle, “If they’re my boyfriends… What does that make you?” A bold question, but one that needs an answer.
He walks to the door and for a moment I think he won't answer until he pauses with his hand on the doorknob, “Yours.”
Max’s response swims around my mind as I wake the men and stumble across bodies to start getting dressed. Dean grumbles the whole way back to his own room, Brandon had a fair share of unsavory curses to call Max, and Teddy just laid there for a moment and watched me dress.
“You should wear the black cargo pants and the black cropped long sleeve. It’ll look hot with your double shoulder holster.”
I give him a look over my shoulder to fake annoyance and grab the items of clothing anyway, “Okay, bossy.” I snort, “And what shoes?”
He gives the question serious contemplation before responding, “Go with the tactical boots. They aren’t the sexiest shoes in the world, but I have a feeling you may be on your feet all day.”
I hum in agreement as I slip them on and lace them. He starts to exit silently and then halts in the open-door frame, “The outfit is also Max’s favorite.” He winks and slides out quickly leaving me stunned.
Either he heard Max and I talking this morning, or he is just trying to nudge us in the direction of full group sex.
He had plenty to say about it last night.
I was obviously panicked over it when the reminder of Dean’s size crossed my mind.
Which I learned was actually caused by Laband's syndrome, a genetic disorder that can cause abnormalities throughout the body… Usually seen in long fingers, large ears or bulbous noses… However, in Dean’s case the syndrome has gifted us a very large… You get the point.
Dean let everyone know that he is willing to watch the group activities, but he would hate to “outperform” anyone, and he and I will keep our activities private. I couldn’t disagree, because in reality I doubt I can handle all four of them at once.
I pulled my hair back into a braid as I made my way down the stairs, a gnawing feeling of guilt still festering in my stomach.
I don’t deserve them, their patience, their care and attention.
I have made Max’s life hell on purpose, and even though he may deserve it sometimes, he doesn’t deserve it constantly.
They’ve given me a home, a clean bed, consistent meals, and although I forget about it every day, they are also paying me.
“How much money do I have?” I ask loudly before I can think better of it, the abrasive question announcing my arrival.
Brandon chokes on a slice of bacon and Teddy snorts into his chocolate milk, Max keeps his face still and finishes taking a sip of his coffee.
When Max places his mug back onto the table he says, “Why don’t you have a look?
” He passes me a brand new shiny black phone and I’m not shy as I yank it from him.
“You got me a phone?” I sputter.
“It was about time you were able to stay in contact with us, it only makes sense.”
I don’t respond as I swipe the screen to unlock it.
I’m not at all surprised to find a picture of Brandon flexing in the mirror already set as the home screen.
I swipe over to find a bank app, tapping on the icon quickly.
It takes a few second for the balance to load and I audibly gasp out a “Holy fuck.”
“Is it not a sufficient amount?” Max asks with real concern in his eyes, as if the abundance of commas in my bank account isn’t enough money for a lifetime.
“This is too much, you have to take some of it back.” I hand him back the phone as if it’s made of cash itself.
“It’s not too much, it’s the amount we agreed on. You’ve been paid for each hit you’ve executed, you’ve attended training, and your attendance is impeccable, so you also received a bonus.” Max shrugged.
“Maxi pad, I live here.” I roll my eyes, “Obviously I have good attendance.”
“You have better attendance than Brandon.” He adds as if it dilutes my argument.
He stretches the phone out to me, and I take it back with a grumble before I slouch myself in my chair, “At least let me start paying rent.”
This seems to be the wrong thing to say when he shoots daggers in my direction, “Don’t be ridiculous, Harpy. I don’t want your money, nor do we need it. Can’t believe you’d ever be so possessed to ask such a thing.”
I choose not to respond when I slide the phone into my pocket and shift to start making my plate. Brandon swats my hand away and starts to pile the food on the plate for me, Teddy leaves and returns with a glass of chocolate milk, and Dean butters a slice of toast for me.
That’s when it hits, I have grown on them the same way they have wrapped around me.
They have let their poison ivy stretch and bend and swaddle around my body, until I have wholly become one with them.
I have nothing to be guilty over, because I know I am just as dedicated to them as they are to me. My men, my unit. Mine.
I choke back the realization when I catch all four of them staring at me with concern as my eyes blur with fresh tears. I blink them away quickly, clearing my throat while I accept my plate from Brandon.
“Okay,” I breathe out, “What’s the plan for today, Max?”