Chapter 39
Chapter 39
I sat there shaking my head. Amazed at how I’d missed an entire courtship.
He spoke as much to himself as me. “Haven’t eaten in three days. Can’t keep it in. Coming out both ends. My palms are sweating. I can’t put together a coherent sentence. If I don’t ask her soon, I’ll be in trouble.”
I laughed. He really did love her.
He prompted me again: “But you still haven’t answered me.”
I knew what he wanted. Truth was, he didn’t need it. But I loved him for asking. I also knew he was true. Clear through. “I don’t really think you need my permission, but since you’re asking...” I paused, the memory returning. “When I picked her up off the shower floor, about three heartbeats from dead, she reached up and hung her limp arms around my neck. Holding fast with what little strength remained. In that moment, the tether that held her on this side of the grave attached to me. And what I’m about to say, I’m not saying because she’s weak. Casey’s one of the toughest people I’ve ever known. I’m saying this because of what she suffered. The depth of her horror. Casey doesn’t know how to live without that tether. It’s a lifeline. Maybe one day she’ll wake up and recognize it’s gone. Until then, she needs to know that somebody will walk back into a burning house and lift her out. No matter what. You’ve got to be willing—”
“Murph.” He put a hand on my shoulder. Then he tapped his heart. “I’m willing.” A pause. “I’ll walk through fire.”
I didn’t know what to do, so I just hugged him. Two grown men standing for a long, odd minute while the snow dusted our shoulders and Gunner stared at us. When I finally let him go, I said, “I thought you were giving me your two weeks’.”
He stared off toward the target. A single shake of his head. “Not if you’ll let me stick around. I feel like I finally found my place in the world.”
It was time to bring him in. All the way. I held up a finger. “One condition.”
He did not seem to be expecting this. I caught him off guard, which was unusual. “Which is?”
How many times had Bones asked me this question? I could not count. I stared at Camp’s eyes. Bright. Piercing. Focused. Genuine and true. The first time I tried to say it, the words didn’t come, so I swallowed and tried a second time. That didn’t work either. Finally, on the third try, I squeaked it out. “Tell me what you know about sheep.”
He never hesitated. “They need a shepherd.”
I pressed him. “What kind?”
“The kind that will spend his life for the sheep.”
I nodded and heard Bones’s echo. “Then be that kind.”
“Yes, sir.” This time he raised a finger.
I waited.
“If you teach me.”
I shook my head in wonder, not disagreement. “I’m still learning. There’s a lot I don’t know. The moment you stop, or the moment you think, I got this , something bad happens. Truth is, we don’t got this. Never have. Never will. Evil is good at being evil. Odds are always stacked against us. How ’bout we just keep learning it together?”
He smiled. “Yes, sir.”
We stood there shuffling, neither sure what to say. Finally, Camp broke the silence. “Oh, and there’s one more thing.”
“I’m listening.”
“In my past life, I may have made some people mad.”
“May have or did? ”
“Did.”
“Why’re you telling me? Everybody’s mad at us.”
“Because they might come for me. And for those I love.”
“Who are they?”
He told me.
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
I shrugged.
“These are not good people. They have power. Political power. And money.”
“Great. Let’s go see them.”
“Go see them? Have you lost your mind?”
I laughed. “Look around you.”
“Good point.”
“Why are you telling me?”
“I just want you to know what you... what Casey is getting.”
I put my hand on his shoulder, the same way he had mine. “Camp... I know who we’re getting, and I know who she’s getting. And I’m good with him.” I paused. Stared out across the mountain. Then I lay back down, settled my cheek on the stock, and stared through the diopter, focusing on the target. I pushed the safety off, touched my finger to the trigger, and settled my breathing. Then I looked at him. “You’re one of us. You are us. If they come, they’ve got to go through me.” Returning to my sight, I confirmed the location of the crosshairs and gently pressed the trigger.
Two seconds later, the gong sounded.
We returned to Freetown and found Clay waiting for us on a bench. Readers on the end of his nose. Cup of coffee in one hand, newspaper in the other. He noticed the two of us, then raised his coffee cup to Camp and sort of nodded. Suggesting a secret shared between the two. Camp smiled and nodded back. Then we descended to my safe room, cleaned and stowed the guns, and climbed the stairs into the kitchen where Summer, Angel, and Ellie were all sitting cross-legged on the floor before the fireplace. Hot chocolate. Eyes wide. Giddy with expectation.
Summer spoke first. “So...” Her tone of voice betrayed far more than her words. “How was your time on the mountain?”
The collective look on their faces suggested they were in a lather. I shook my head and headed for the shower.
Evidently the Camp-Casey thing had been a thing for a while. Like from the moment they met. Which I missed entirely, causing me to wonder what planet I’d been living on. Where did I miss the signals other than everywhere? Finding Frank and then Bones had been all-consuming, and I’d known little life outside that. Somehow in that mess, they’d fallen in love, a thought that produced in me a feeling akin to joy. A strange emotion amid grief. I almost felt guilty for feeling it. But the hope of that joy was one of the reasons we did what we did. To watch the free live in freedom.
Bones taught me that.