22. Kiera
TWENTY-TWO
KIERA
W hile watching Jaxus and Luka face off against the bullies I’d spent my life shying away from, I became intensely embarrassed. I was one of the Twelve Kingdoms’ most respected healers and now, supposedly, a ryder of the First Kingdom. Yet here I was, hiding behind a dragon for protection.
It was pathetic.
Shameful.
I backed away, thinking I could just slip out and not have to face my embarrassment. I had ingredients to buy, I could just go out to the traders, I didn’t want to be in this magical tent anymore. The thick air pressed in, cutting off my breath until it was stifling.
I just needed to breathe.
These fucking gnats shouldn’t illicit this response from me to this day. I was mad at them but even madder at myself .
Luka was great, but in that moment, I really missed Kol. If he were still with us, Kol would have had me laughing as he put those idiots in their place. My chest ached and I couldn’t be here another minute.
With all the focus on Jaxus, no one paid me any mind. I walked slowly backwards to fade into the mist, gaze glued to Jaxus, waiting for him to notice. He never looked around.
I slipped into the cover of the foliage in this strange shifting space, my anxiety easing with every step I took away. Finally able to fully exhale I turned, fingers brushing over the rough bark. If I closed my eyes, it was almost like being back in the Forest Kingdom. The worst thing about the shortage of healers wasn’t the long hours but that it prevented me from returning to my home. It called to me, making me ache to get back to the slower life.
I made it to the tent entrance and blinked in the brightness of the midday sun. The heat of the day hit me hard. I hadn’t realized how cool it had been in the tent. I guessed it was the magic and probably half of the appeal of getting lost in there for most fae. Just to cool off.
I stood and just breathed for a moment, relieved to be back out to where things made sense.
“Kiera, where are you going?” Jaxus’ voice startled me.
I nearly jumped out of my skin, wheeling on him. “I needed some air.”
“You shouldn’t be hiding.” Jaxus’ jaw flexed.
At the look on his face, I decided not to stick around and get a tongue-lashing for being weak. I set off for the relative cool I knew I’d find between the buildings on the edge of the festival grounds. “I’m not hiding. I’m walking,” I threw over my shoulder, knowing I was being childish.
“Why would you walk away while I was dealing with those guys. I was worried.”
“Because I wanted to.” What did he think I owed him? “I don’t have to tell you what I’m doing all the time. I told you I didn’t want there to be a scene.”
“I wasn’t making a scene. You have to trust me,” he growled.
I wasn’t sure why I was so angry with him all of a sudden, but after I’d humiliated myself by showing such weakness, I was going to stand up for myself if it killed me. And I was bothered by his attitude. Why did he think he could dictate to me all of a sudden? If this is what kissing him and a few companionable days with him did, then that couldn’t ever happen again.
I slipped down the side of the temple into the shade and his hand gripped my arm. He turned me to face him and moved in to pin me against the cool stone.
“You’ve been avoiding me since we got here. Why?” Frustration edged into his voice.
I swallowed, gaze flickering to his arms on either side of my head while he pressed far too close, trapping me against the temple. “I’m not.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped, switching to mind speak. I knew why he did. To make sure I couldn’t lie.
“If you don’t trust me, there is nothing else to say.” I lifted my chin, settling him in a stare. “Choose wisely, Jaxus. I won’t return it if it’s not given.”
“I never said I don’t trust you,” he snapped. His eyes burned and I swallowed thickly.
“You told me not to lie to you!”
He pulled back, and for an awful moment, I feared he was going to hit me or shake me, but instead he turned and slammed his fist into the stone, making the entire structure tremble. “That’s not saying I don’t trust you,” he said through his teeth, eyes more dragon now than fae. Would he shift if he completely lost his temper? I’d seen plenty of flyers do it.
They’d launch themselves into the air and take their anger out on the atmosphere. A part of me wanted to push him, to see if he would. To see the extent of his temper. If we were going to be ryder and flyer, I had to know his limits as well as he knew mine.
For a moment his face fell, and I assumed he’d seen that flicker of fear in my eyes, which just frustrated me more. Of course he wouldn’t harm me, and I’d just show weakness again. It maddened me more, and I came back fighting. “Yes, you did! Don’t ever tell me not to lie to you again. I wouldn’t lie to you.” I turned my back on him and only got two paces before he grabbed me and trapped me against the wall again.
“Stop running away,” he snarled. “Every time I get close, you find a way of pushing me back. You’re so infuriating.” His breathing was heavy and I realized mine matched it, his eyes bore into mine for the longest moment and then he brushed his lips over mine, just a touch, and it was all it took.
I met his kiss, and we both lost control. It was nothing like our first kiss. It was all rage and need, and I hated that he tasted like everything I had ever wanted. How had this dragon got so far under my skin?
We tore apart, only because we unfortunately had to breathe or we would die. Gasping for air, we eyed each other as we considered another round when a voice broke our trance.
“There you are,” Zaria called.
Jaxus growled in frustration as the rest of the group arrived. Luka’s eyes asked if I was okay, and I dipped my chin slightly to reassure him.
“Everything okay?” Zaria asked. “You’re out of breath.” She glanced between Jaxus and I and the corner of her mouth lifted slightly. “Both of you.”
“I’m fine. I just wanted to get out of there. I couldn’t breathe in that tent.”
Zaria nodded, smirking, but she didn’t say a word about her suspicion. “I’m with you. That place gave me the creeps, things changing around every corner. I didn’t like it. ”
“That’s because you’re a control freak.” Nyx scoffed. Luka hid a laugh.
Zaria rolled her eyes and linked her arm through mine. “Come on.” She led me away through the alley and I followed, grateful that she was taking the guess work out of where to go next. I glanced back at Jaxus, half glad and half sorry we couldn’t continue. He looked frustrated still, but for a whole new reason. The males followed and soon we reached the end of the alley and arrived in the market square.
“Where to?” Luka asked.
“Well, I know we aren’t working today.” I side-eyed Zaria. “But I need to look around the traders because it’s the only way to find some of the rarer ingredients we need for healing.”
Zaria sighed exaggeratingly. “I suppose I’ll allow it.”
We headed through the market square to start our browsing, but there were so many traders they spilled right back out onto the grounds.
“Wonderful,” I heard Nyx mutter under his breath and Zaria turned on him.
“We are here to have fun,” she scolded.
“Yes, and this looks like a lot of fun,” he said flatly.
She narrowed her eyes at him, but before she could come back at him with any harsh words, he gestured for her to continue on with the fun. Shaking her head, she faced the stalls once more. “What are we looking for?” She asked.
I dipped a hand into my pocket and produced a list.
“Goddess, that’s a lot of things I’ve never heard of,” she remarked. “Will we get to it all?”
“As much as possible, as some of the things on here are extremely hard to come by.”
“Why don’t we each look for certain things to save time?”
I smiled. “Thanks, but while there are many specialized sellers here, there will also be many hawkers trying to pass off substandard and even imitation goods to the untrained buyer. I need to touch and smell things to make sure I’m getting what I need.”
“Fair enough. Let’s get started then. You can teach us, oh great healer.” She laughed.
We began meandering past stalls with crystals and potions. We stopped at one selling alchemy tools and books, and I told Zaria and Luka what each thing was for as they asked all their questions. I noticed Nyx and Jaxus hanging back in an intense conversation and I dreaded to think what it was about now that I knew the extent of what Jaxus was concerned over.
We continued through the marketplace and along the line of stalls that fed back onto the festival ground when Luka stopped abruptly.
“What is it?” Zaria asked, concerned. I followed Luka’s eye line to a huddle of priests gathered on the edge of the market, talking.
“I know him,” Luka said low, nodding to the priests. “The one with the beard.”
“Who is he?” Zaria hissed, mimicking Luka’s volume.
Luka frowned, thinking. “I can’t think where I’ve seen him.”
“A temple?” Zaria suggested. It was the obvious answer.
Luka gave her a flat look. “Having had religion forced down my throat my whole life, do you really think I frequent the temples now I’m free?”
“Perhaps not.” She smirked.
“Do you recognize him?” he asked us.
“Not me,” I replied. There were hundreds of priests who came in and out of the city. The biggest temples in the kingdoms were here. Plus, I hardly leave the healer’s wing.
“Zaria? Could he be someone who came to the village in the past?”
“You know, most of us were kept away from the rare outsider. I’ve never seen him. ”
“If he’s the male I’m thinking of, he had a limp, I think,” he shook his head. “Maybe I’m imagining it.”
Just then, the group of priests moved off, and the bearded one did in fact have a pronounced limp. We exchanged intrigued looks and without words, unanimously decided to follow. But before we moved even a step, raised voices behind us caught our attention. We looked back to see Jaxus and Nyx in a heated— discussion? Could it be called that when they were almost shouting and waving their hands?
“Ugh, I’ve got this,” I told Zaria. “You go with Luka.”
Nodding, she left me with the dragons facing off very publicly in the market square of all places. I put my hands on my hips. I couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying, but the way Nyx sliced his hand through the air in a gesture of finality made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was like the ghost of the last general was standing there. Nyx moved, reminiscent of his father. A sight I never thought I’d see. General Asra had been bullheaded. A genius tactician, but sometimes his own self-importance got in the way of his brilliance.
I approached them, causing their argument to cease.
“Do you two realize you are the most recognizable dragons in the kingdom?” I hissed. “It’s a holy day, so in case you didn’t notice, everyone in the damn city is out celebrating. And you’re out here airing your dirty laundry like you’re one of the sideshows.”
They both looked down at me, shocked at my outburst, but I wasn’t finished. “I’m sick of all this tension. Whatever this is needs to stop.”
“I was just—” Nyx started.
I held up my hand to stop him. “I saw. You were just laying down the law, right? You’re the general, so what you say goes? Am I getting it?” I shook my head, my disappointment difficult to hide. “I know you’re grieving, but you need to remember who you really are or you won’t recognize who you’ve become on the other side of this. Don’t let the death of your brother turn you into your father. He wouldn’t want that.”
Nyx’s eyes flashed deep teal with rage. “How could you even say that to me?” he snarled.
Jaxus stepped up, a deep growl resonating from him. I pushed him back a step with the palm of my hand against the granite of his chest.
“Do you hear yourself?” I said to Nyx softly, but it wasn’t timid. I wanted him to strain to hear me. To pause his madness for one minute and listen. “I say that to you because I love you. No other reason. We all do. And you are pushing us all away and becoming this unapproachable, irrational grouch.”
Nyx jerked his chin back as if I’d slapped him.
“Yes, that’s right. Someone had to say it to you. Do with it what you will.”
As Nyx was still reeling from my words, Luka and Zaria reappeared.
“That was quick.”
“They went into the temple and went beyond the altar, so that was that.” Luka shrugged.
“Who?” Nyx demanded.
“Luka thought he recognized someone.” Zaria dismissed the subject, instead turning the attention to the warring dragons in our midst. “What’s going on with you two?”
I met Nyx’s eyes and glared.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Just a disagreement about strategy.”
“Well, it’s a holy day and that means no strategy. So cut it out and help us find Kiera’s ingredients, then we can go gorge ourselves on whatever smells so delicious.”