24. Jaxus
TWENTY-FOUR
JAXUS
I awoke still holding Kiera’s hand. It was early evening if I had to guess by the light, and I’d obviously dozed off. The result of a stressful day and possibly the drain on my magic from trying to share with Kiera to heal her faster. Ophir had said that being in contact with me would help, so I’d figured it couldn’t hurt to push my magic towards her to speed things up.
But looking at her sleeping, nothing had changed. I reached over and stroked a strand of hair away from her forehead, running my fingers down her cheek.
“Kiera?” I reached out to her mind and sighed when I got nothing.
Earlier, as I’d sat trying to reach her, I’d grown angrier and angrier. With Nyx, for pushing and pushing until I was so caught up arguing strategy with him that I didn’t notice that Kiera was in danger. At myself for not protecting her. At the enemy for putting us all here. At the King, at everyone.
I had worn myself out on anger and fear. I assumed healers had checked on Kiera, but nothing had disturbed me once I was out. I looked around, but there was no sign of anyone. We were alone, and I felt it.
The door opened almost silently, and I glanced up expecting a healer, but was greeted by Nyx’s surly face. I immediately stood.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” I asked through my teeth, barely restraining the desire to deck him.
Nyx wore a confused expression. “Is she not allowed visitors?” he asked while eyeing me like he felt he had more right to be here than me.
Fucking try me. I barely repressed the words.
“She’s allowed,” I replied instead. “But I’m not sure you should be here.”
He took a step as if to move around me, and I stepped with him. He searched my face.
I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t stupid. So why did he seem completely oblivious to what he’d done? Maybe no one had ever called him out on his shit before? Kiera certainly had today, and it was high time he got used to it because I would not let her stand up to him and then stand here and not do the same while she lay fighting for her life.
“What’s your problem?” Nyx asked when I wouldn’t move.
“You are.”
His expression seemed to change through frustration, then confusion. “What the fuck did I do?”
I laughed without humor, upper lip curling indignantly. “You’ve become so single-minded, you don’t even see it, do you?”
He frowned. “Kiera handled some Dragon’s Bane. How is that my fault? ”
“Because instead of being by her side, where I could have scented the danger and kept her safe, I was too busy trying to stop you chasing ghosts and Kiera could have died.”
His brows pulled. “I didn’t?—”
“No,” I stopped him. Nothing he could say would change what had happened. “You didn’t care, and that’s the truth. All you can think about is the undead because deep down, you still believe he’s out there and can be saved. You’re stomping around, ignoring what matters with your own agenda while we all clean up your mess, which I could forgive you for, but now it’s hurting people who matter and I will not sit idly by while you threaten what’s mine. I don’t know if I should even fucking trust you with our flyers at this point.” Everything that had built over the last few hours while I waited in limbo, not knowing if Kiera would live or die exploded, out of me. “Then you roll up here like you deserve to be in this room? You don’t.”
Nyx’s jaw flexed. “I am trying to protect the kingdom.”
“No, you’re being selfish. Kol is dead, Nyx.”
Nyx’s jaw trembled.
“I’m sorry for that, but until you accept it, you will put everyone around you at risk, and I won’t allow you to put her at risk again.” I lowered my chin, meeting his eyes so he would know how serious I was.
“It wasn’t—” Nyx ground his teeth, but a flicker in his eyes said more than his words. “Do you think I’m unfit for my duties?”
“I think you’re dangerously close to it.” I wouldn’t lie to him and if that got me removed from my command, so be it.
“You swore an oath to me?—”
“I swore an oath to the kingdom, not to you, and there is more at stake than your loss. I think it’s my duty, under that oath, to keep you in line.”
Nyx’s nostrils flared. “I would never put my kingdom at risk. ”
“Then why would you do it to your friend?”
“For my fucking kingdom!” he roared.
I stepped chest to chest with him and shoved him back from Kiera’s bed.
The door cracked open again and Luka peered around hesitantly. After assessing the situation, he stepped inside and closed the door.
“Where is Zaria?” Nyx demanded.
“I just got here, so she left to get some food. She told me to tell you that she will bring enough for everyone, but she’s just worried that Jaxus hasn’t eaten in hours.” He looked to me. “How are you holding up?”
I nodded. There was no good reply to that question.
Nyx returned his attention to me but directed his words to Luka. “Can you give us a minute? Jaxus and I are having a discussion.”
Luka looked uncomfortable. “About that—” he hesitated. “Apparently, they only use the silencing magic thingy on these rooms while they are discussing cases and running tests. You know, for the privacy of the patients.” He glanced at the door. “I thought I should just, you know, pop in and tell you that the rest of the time, these walls are pretty thin and well, we can hear everything you’re shouting at each other out there.” He grimaced. “Sorry, but Zaria wasn’t here when you got going, and I figured someone should tell you.”
“Thanks, Luka. I was just saying what needed to be said, but I appreciate your loyalty,” I seethed. It was a pointed jab at the lack of loyalty I was feeling from Nyx, and from his expression, he knew it.
He took a step closer, looking like he wanted a fight, when suddenly, Luka was pushing between us.
“Hey, fellas, do you think this is the place for this?” he asked without a flicker of fear in his tone. He got so quiet we could barely hear him. “What you’re saying is treason. Is that what you want the healers to be gossiping about tomorrow? Do you want it to spread to the rest of the palace so everyone knows you two aren’t in alignment?”
I looked down at him, wedged between us two hulking dragon shifters. He looked about half our size, but the male had the courage of a dragon, that was for sure.
Nyx eyed him, too, then looked up at me. His shoulders slumped and he hung his head in shame, giving it a shake. “No.”
Luka eased him back, and the air in the room changed. All the tension was diffused.
“Why don’t we all take a seat, and we can talk this out.” I hadn’t pegged Luka as the mediator, but he was stepping up to the role. He pushed a couple of chairs close to the bed on the other side and ushered Nyx into one, taking the other.
I went back to my position at Kiera’s side, taking her hand in mine and checking her for signs of change.
“How is she?” Luka asked, and I saw the guilt in Nyx’s face that he hadn’t even asked. But I couldn’t blame him for that since I went on the attack and didn’t give him the chance.
“She’s stable,” I told them both. “But no change.”
“They’re sure it’s all been cleansed from her blood?” Nyx asked.
I nodded. “Yes, but her recovery could be long. The traces in her blood before cleansing were alarmingly high.”
“I don’t understand. She has been exposed many times before, treating the flyers who come in with poisoning.” Nyx frowned.
“She wasn’t a ryder then. Now that we are bonded, she will react the same way we do, only her system is far more fragile than a dragon’s.”
“What was Dragon’s Bane even doing at the festival?” Nyx seethed .
My anger rose again. “Maybe we would know if you had stayed to investigate.”
Nyx stiffened. “I was worried for my friend. What would you have me do?”
“I’d have detained the traders to question them or followed them after the festival to see if they would lead you to a nest. Maybe tried to obtain a sample to see if it could be traced. I don’t know. Anything would have been better than nothing.” I felt how deep my words cut and I was sorry, but I was also at my limit, and there would be no more sugar-coating shit.
Nyx closed his eyes. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry.”
I saw the defeat in him and I hated it. But he had to sink to this place before he would see reason. Now maybe there was a chance he could turn things around.
“Nyx,” I commanded. He opened his eyes and they shone with regret. “It’s understandable given what you’re going through. but enough is enough. There are people here now, who love you enough to call you out when you need it and will back you all the way. Don’t waste that on what ifs and maybes.”
“You’re right.” He softened for the first time in what felt like weeks, and I really did feel like he had listened.
“Good. So what do we do now?” I moved the topic on because I needed something new to focus on as much as he did right now. “We have no leads, so where do we start?”
“Um, actually,” Luka interjected. “We might have some leads, That’s where I’ve been the last few hours.
Nyx and I both just stared at him. This small, unassuming male who we all seemed to underestimate at every turn continued to shock me.
“Go on,” Nyx urged.“Well, when we came back here, I knew you all needed to be here for Kiera, so I thought I should go back to see if I could find out anything about what had happened. I was no use to any of you here. I just thought I’d make myself useful if I could.” He paused, looking at us like he was making sure he had done the right thing.
I wholeheartedly approved, as apparently did Nyx, which he confirmed by urging him to continue. “And?”
“The stall was cleared out and the hawkers were long gone. I asked around, but they weren’t regular traders with the travelers. Just some of the many who came to the capital because it was the biggest festival on the circuit. Nothing suspicious. But the other traders said as soon as you both took off, they packed up like their lives depended on it and fled before any palace guards could get to the scene.”
“Any idea where they went?”
Luka shook his head. “The traders that witnessed it said they took off through the market square, so I went that way and followed the alleyways that led off it, just looking for any evidence, I guess. I ended up back in the square with nothing to show for it, and it was so busy and hot that I ended up stopping for a drink at the tavern there. That’s where I got lucky.”
I was on the edge of my seat as we waited for him to continue.
“There was a group of males talking about how you two,” he paused, glancing at us sheepishly. “‘Dragoned out in the middle of a fucking festival,’ not my words. And apparently, they saw the traders running down to the river. So I finished my drink once I realized that was all they knew and headed for the river.”
“Did you find anything?” I asked.
“No, but I talked to a couple of males bringing in a haul of fish, and they’d seen a boat being hurriedly loaded earlier today, and the description fits. They didn’t know where the boat headed, but they said those males are regulars on the river. So I’m thinking that they might be back once the dust settles.”
“I’ll send a team to stake it out,” Nyx said commandingly.
“Um, no offense, but if the general and his lieutenant ‘dragoning out’ at the scene is the talk of the city, don’t you think sending a team of flyers down to the river is going to be slightly obvious? You lot kind of stand out.”
“So what do you suggest?” Nyx asked him, shocking me. He was seriously asking.
“I’ll do it. I have nothing else to do. I’ll go unnoticed at least. I might go and see if I can get myself a job down there loading boats or something. That way, I can be there all day without raising suspicion.”
“You’d do that?” I asked. He just kept on surprising me.
“Of course. As I said, I have nothing else to do, so you may as well use me where I can help.”
Nyx looked to me for my opinion and I nodded. “Okay then. Just information gathering, though, no heroics. Tell no one and report only to me or Jaxus. If you find a lead, the flyers will go in.”
“Agreed,” Luka replied, just as the door opened and Zaria entered with a large basket of food.
“What is?” she asked, coming over and setting the basket down on the side table.
“I’m going to be Nyx’s spy!” Luka told her proudly.
Nyx groaned and slapped his palm to his face.
“You’re what?” Zaria demanded,
“What happened to tell no one and report only to Jaxus or me?”
“Surely she doesn’t count as your mate,” Luka argued.
“But as your best friend she won’t like you in danger,” Nyx groaned.
“Will someone tell me what’s going on?” Zaria demanded.
By the time we filled her in and they ate some food, forcing me to eat a little too, I was ready for them to leave. I was just so tired, and I wanted to be alone with Kiera.
They left when the healers came to do their checks and I used the bathing chamber while they were with her. When I returned, she was alone, and I studied her. She was so small in that bed and it physically hurt to not be able to do anything to help except be here.
I had intended to resume my watch at her bedside, but I needed more, so without overthinking it, I lifted the covers and climbed into bed with her. If being in contact with me was what she needed, I was going to hold her all damn night.