40. Kiera
FORTY
KIERA
“ S he’s a remarkable female, your gran, isn’t she?” Jaxus asked as we climbed the stairs to her home.
“She is,” I replied.
“Does she really make it up and down all these stairs every day?” He huffed under the large stack of books he was carrying.
“Every day,” I confirmed. “It keeps her young, and I’m convinced she only carries that stick, so she has something to hit people with.”
He puffed out a laugh. “I just can’t believe she doesn’t live closer to the ground, that’s all.”
“It’s what she’s used to. It’s how we all live.” I glanced over, holding back a laugh. “Is it too much for the big old dragon?”
“If I need to carry something heavy or get somewhere high, I usually use my wings. Your people have evolved to dwell in the trees. Mine have evolved to need a little more open space. ”
I knew he was probably itching to fly. Being confined by so much foliage was unnatural to him. Dragons were just not suited to this kingdom, which is why there were so few here.
He hefted the books he had insisted on carrying so that I didn’t exert myself. Despite the very uplifting power exchange we just had in the archives. My energy stores were full after that!
I went ahead when we reached her entrance hall and cleared some space on her worktable, which stood in the middle of her kitchen that she also used as a workroom. Her home was the result of two centuries of magical experimentation and family life. You never knew whether what was boiling on the stove was some new concoction for treating your ills or dinner. Everything took place in this space, we learned our craft here at her side and then ate at this table too, unless it was a formal affair.
As always, there was an array of books and notes as well as the remains of a spell in a fire bowl. I stacked it all to one side, making room to put down our haul.
Jaxus thunked them down on the table and wiped his brow. I watched him, my need still lingering. Since we gave in to it that first time, it felt like a thirst that couldn’t be quenched at times.
He turned and caught my lustful gaze.
“You can’t look at me that way in your grandmother’s house, Firefly.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Try,” he said firmly.
“She won’t be back for a little while,” I countered, stepping into his space.
He gently eased himself away from me. “I don’t care if she’ll be gone for a week. I’m not taking you here. She will know. I bet she knows everything.”
I shrugged. “Kinda.”
“There you go then. No.”
“Boo.” I sulked.
Jaxus busied himself spreading the books out. Gran was still teaching her class but would be back soon, so we’d brought our findings here for her to go over once she returned.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the fire bowl.
I peered inside but couldn’t make out what she had burned for the ritual. “Honestly, with Gran, it could be anything from a cold treatment to a spell to make all your hair fall out.”
Jaxus reached up to protect his golden locks, looking horrified. “She can do that?”
“Cross her and find out,” I teased.
Jaxus gave me a wide-eyed ‘no way’ look. “Is that…normal?” he asked hesitantly.
“She’s a little alternative compared to some of the stuffy traditionalists that make up the council, but she’s our wisest healer by far. She is the oldest fae in the Forest Kingdom, actually.”
“Alternative?”
“She subscribes to some much older methods than are common now. I suppose you could say she’s the traditionalist, really.
“You mean old magic?” Jaxus shot me a surprised look.
“Not in any way that could get her put on trial,” I assured him. “But she favors the old wisdom in a lot of things. She is all for learning from the past to better the future.”
“I knew elders like her,” he told me.
I studied him, knowing this was my chance to do better and find out more about his life. This couldn’t all be one sided. “Tell me about where you’re from.”
He paused and I saw all his muscles tense before he caught himself and looked at me.
“It was a very remote place,” He said casually. “No connection with the rest of the realm. It was very quiet.”
That was vague. “And your family?”
“There’s nothing to tell, really. I don’t remember the fae who created me. I was found as a youngling by a kind couple who took me in. We lived in a small village, never really mixing with the outside. That’s my whole story.” He shrugged, turning back to the books, trying to find the relevant sections ready to show Gran.
I frowned. There must be more to it than that, so I pushed. “Were you close to your parents?”
“I was.”
I didn’t know where to go with the dead end of conversation I’d found myself in. He clearly wasn’t into opening up about it, but I didn’t know why.
I came up beside him and touched his arm. “Jaxus?”
He looked over at me with an expression I could not read. “Yes?”
“I don’t want to push you to talk about your past if it’s painful in some way.” It was the only reason I could think of that would have him shutting down this way.
“It’s not painful, it’s just not interesting.”
“Oh—” I didn’t know if that was a closing statement or permission to continue. I’d never found him this difficult to figure out before.
I decided to try another question to see if I could find a way in. “Was it hard for you growing up the only dragon?”
“Not really. I never knew anything different.” He moved some papers. “Do you think we should start translating this while we wait? It will make things easier if we have it transcribed, and I think between us, we can do it.”
I blinked, caught totally off guard. That was a shutdown, wasn’t it? I was so confused. What was so wrong with me asking how he grew up? I’d brought him to my home, knowing the chaos it would cause and he wouldn’t even talk about his. “Sure.” I tried not to sound shaken by the way he was being as I took a seat at the table with him.
We worked through the text and translated most of it with ease, though his confidence with the old language far surpassed mine. “It’s unusual to have such a grasp of the old language,” I mused.
“You do,” he shot back.
“It’s necessary for me as I’m a custodian of the archive by birth. But for most, it’s unheard of. Did your parents teach you?”
“As I told you, my village was different. We were expected to all help each other because of how small it was. No one could be trained at one thing.” His words were curt.
“Even so, without the archives and with—” I dropped my voice. “Old magic being forbidden by the King, it has gone out of practice.”
“Not where I’m from.” He wouldn’t look at me.
“What purpose is there to teach children the old language.” I couldn’t put my finger on what bugged me about his answers, but it didn’t add up.
“Does it matter?” Jaxus snapped
I reeled back, shocked at the harshness of his tone.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to focus on this translation. I didn’t mean to snap.”
He could hardly meet my eye and I was more conflicted than ever. Everything in me wanted to ask more questions, but I could see it was the wrong time or the wrong subject. “That’s okay,” I said circumspectly.
At that moment, he looked towards the stairs. “Your Gran is on her way back.”
I studied him. I couldn’t hear anything, but it was clear he was tuned in to a sound beyond my range. “Dragon hearing?”
“Yes. I can hear someone coming up the path.”
“How do you know it’s her?”
“Three beats.”
“Three beats?”
“Two feet and a stick,” he explained.
“More fae than my Gran walk with a stick, you know,” I said, sure this was another way to detour my line of questioning .
“She drags the cane in a particular pattern. If you listen enough, every fae in the Twelve Kingdoms has their own unique gait.” He lifted a shoulder. “Wait and see.”
A moment later, Gran appeared in the doorway and it was as if she had walked into a wall of tension with the way she stopped and assessed us.
She knew something was up the way only a matriarch could. She asked me if everything was okay with her eyes. And I told her I didn’t know the answer to that question with mine.
You could cut the air with a knife.
Jaxus stood and offered her his chair because he was always so chivalrous.
“How did you fare in the archives?” she asked, accepting Jaxus’ seat.
“Well,” Jaxus replied. “We’ve begun translating some of it, but I’m certain you’ll have an easier time.”
She looked up at him, his size requiring her to tip her head way back. “Are you saying I’m old, dragon?”
“Wisdom cannot be counted in years.” He smiled fondly.
Gran turned to me. “He has a smooth tongue when he wants to, doesn’t he?”
“When he wants to,” I agreed, looking at him wistfully. I wished we could have it out, whatever this problem was between us.
He offered me a regretful smile.
Gran took it all in and then turned her eagle-eyed attention to the books on the table. “Let’s see what we have here.”
After flipping through a few pages in the book we’d been translating, she addressed Jaxus without even looking up. “Jaxus, would you be a lamb, run back to the archives and ask for the Old Amayan text we use for transcription?”
“Of course.” He dipped his head and cut me a brief glance, then left for the archives .
I turned to Gran. “Since when do you need a reference text for translating old Amayan?” I asked accusingly.
“Not in your lifetime—or your father’s, either.” She chuckled.
“So why send Jaxus off to get one?”
“Because I know how long it will take them to dig it out of the tunnels, and it gives you time to fill your gran in on what in the Goddess’ name that awkwardness was between you just then.”
I huffed, rubbing my forehead to ease the tension there.
“Honestly, Gran, I wish I knew. “
“Trouble in paradise already?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” I sighed.
“Tell your old gran all about it.”
“It’s nothing, really. I asked him something about his home and he closed up. That’s all. He got snippy when I pressed, so I backed off. It happened right before you walked in, so you just caught the tail end. I just don’t know what to make of it, that’s all.”
“Perhaps he had a difficult childhood and doesn’t like talking about it?” she wondered.
“I asked him that and he said no. I’m just confused.”
“I’m sure he will open up when he’s ready.”
“I know. I just feel that I spent so long rejecting the idea of being his ryder and avoiding him, so our bond didn’t get a chance to strengthen to a place where we were likely to meld. I didn’t do anything to actively get to know him, whereas he knows so much about me. I was just trying to fix that, but I got shut down at the first turn.”
She placed her hand over mine. “You’ll get there, my child. I’ve never known you not to succeed at everything you do, and getting to know your mate will be no different.”
I jerked back in surprise, but then, was I really surprised? Hadn’t I already speculated that she always seemed to know everything? “You knew?”
“I suspected,” she smiled and winked. “So it’s official?”
I rolled my eyes. “Gran, do not ask your granddaughter for details of her sex life. It’s not normal.”
“Normal is boring, child. I just wanted to make sure you claimed that big dragon like the Goddess wished, that’s all. Oh! We should hold a mating ritual to increase your fertility.”
“Absolutely not!”
“Don’t you want to bear his young one day?”
“One day way in the future, maybe. If we even get there. You know it’s been harder and harder of late.”
She nodded. “So better to start sooner rather than later.”
“No, thank you.” I shuddered.
“Why wouldn’t you want to participate in the ritual?”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Because it might shock you to know, but I have no desire to consummate my mating under a new moon in front of my grandmother while you chant your woo-woo magic with the council looking on!”
Gran tsked. “I didn’t raise you to be so prudish, you know. It’s a natural thing, and a mating is a blessing that should be celebrated.”
“I’m not sure many here will see it as a cause for celebration. I won’t be wedding Casimir now. I’m sure the council will have a lot to say about it.” And maybe not want to bless the union at all.
“And just what can they do about a soul-bond? They have no choice but to accept it with grace or go against the Goddess.” she pondered for a moment. “You might want to tell Casimir though, so I don’t have to listen to any more of his hot air about ‘bringing his beloved home, despite what her brutish pet thinks.’”
I scoffed. His beloved indeed. “I’d like to see him try. ”
“After that scene at dinner, he’s keen to save face.”
“Please, he’s never actually felt anything for me other than what my bloodline will do for his. I’ve had my life and he’s had his. It’s not like he hasn’t had lovers. We both have. He just needs to get used to the fact that his future isn’t with me. I’m sure there are other willing candidates in this kingdom.” He’d have a line of eligible females after him, I wasn’t worried about that.
“He might have more of a hard time than you expect. There will be a stampede of fawning nitwits, I’m sure. But none of them are you, and he knows it. All the best of our lines are already spoken for and more than that, because he’s a male, it will hurt his pride.”
“Goddess forbid his pride take a hit. Might make him less insufferable.” I rolled my eyes, not allowing myself to feel bad if he makes a less than ideal match.
“He will recover. Better to lose you to a soul-bond than because you just can’t stand him.”
I laughed. “Gran! You are brutal.”
“It doesn’t pay to tip-toe around the point at my age, you know.”
I shook my head. I missed her so much when I was in the First Kingdom. I would have to make a point of coming home more often to visit. Especially as I wouldn’t have to stay away to avoid my betrothed anymore.
“Now, what have you two found? Any leads today?”
“We found a recipe, but I’m not sure we are reading the translation correctly. Plus, there is no mention of these ingredients anywhere. That’s why we were retranslating it ourselves. It feels like a dead end.”
“Have you checked with the botanists?” Gran asked.
“I asked them about it. They had no record of Lepidodendron.”
“Because not everything in these texts still exists. We preserve as much as we can, but some are lost to us forever while others cannot be grown because the ways are lost to us.” Gran shrugged like I should have known all of this. “You need to check the seed archive for extinct plants.”
“Are you sure? Couldn’t it be as simple as a name changed in translation?” I’d never run into this problem before. We used the old language as much as the new in alchemy. There wasn’t another system.
“Before the Twelve Kingdoms united, we each had our own language, Firefly.” She shrugged. “It’s possible. I don’t recall it having another name, just that it’s extinct as far as we know.”
“Let me work through this and see if I reach the same conclusion as you,” she suggested.
“Thanks, Gran.” I leaned in and put my head on her shoulder.
“It’s what I’m here for, child. Old magic translations and relationship advice.”
I sighed.
“Talk to him. It might just be fear guiding you.”
“I don’t know. I feel it in my gut,” I admitted.
“Don’t ever ignore your gut, Firefly. It’s the most powerful tool you’ve got.”