Chapter 13
‘Will Poe be OK?’ Esmerée asked Bradshaw.
‘He told us not to worry about it.’
‘So?’
‘So we don’t need to worry about it.’
‘You trust the guy that much?’
‘I do. And you should too. DCI Stephanie Flynn once said that Poe was the throbbing haemorrhoid in her bottom. She has lots of colourful metaphors like that and I’m sure we wouldn’t have her any other way. But she also said he’s the best detective she’s ever met.’
‘Who’s Desiree Stephanie Flynn?’
‘DCI Stephanie Flynn. It’s the acronym for detective chief inspector.
DCI Flynn was our boss when Poe and I worked for the Serious Crime Analysis Section.
We used to investigate serial killers. Two years ago, one of them nearly killed him and he hasn’t been the same since.
He had PTSD, and we were all very worried about him.
It’s one of the reasons we left the police to become private investigators. ’
Esmerée threw a thumb over her shoulder. ‘That guy? The one bashing his beef truncheon to my mom? He used to catch serial killers?’
‘We all did.’
‘OK … that’s quite cool, I suppose.’
Esmerée hoisted herself up onto Bradshaw’s desk. Swung her legs.
‘So is this what you do all day? Search computers and shit? Sift through data?’
‘Mainly,’ Bradshaw said. ‘I can show you how, if you want?’
‘Swell.’
‘When Poe says things like “swell” or “super”, he’s being sarcastic.’
‘Maybe show me later.’
‘OK.’
‘Tell me about yourself, Till-meister.’
Bradshaw frowned. Poe had said that Esmerée was a teenager and teenagers couldn’t be reasoned with.
The more you used logic and well-considered arguments, the more they broke wind in your face.
She decided she would ignore Esmerée calling her Till-meister.
Anyway, it was an improvement on Little Miss Retard, the nickname Jonathan, a nasty pasty in the NCA, had once given her.
When Poe had overheard him, he’d broken one of Jonathan’s fingers and had him sacked.
No one had called her names since. She said, ‘What do you want to know?’
‘I dunno. The usual girl-talk.’
‘I don’t know what that is.’
Esmerée sighed in exasperation. ‘Like, do you have a boyfriend? What’s your favourite position in bed?’
‘My favourite position in bed is facing the wall so I can use my phone while it’s charging. And I’ve never had and likely never will have a boyfriend.’
‘You’re gay? That’s cool.’
Bradshaw frowned. She didn’t like this conversation at all. She wondered if this was what it was like being normal. If it was, the normals could keep it. ‘DCI Flynn is a lesbian, but I’m not. I’m not anything. I will never have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.’
‘Wow, that’s dark, sister.’
‘I’m not your—’
‘It’s an expression, Till-meister.’
‘Oh.’
‘But you’re kinda cute. And nerds are hot right now. I bet you could get a boyfriend if you wanted one.’
Bradshaw blinked in surprise. ‘Why would I want one?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Companionship. Sex. Not being lonely.’
‘I have a once-in-a-generation mind, Esmerée. But being this intelligent is a blessing and a curse. There’s no one out there I could put up with. No one who could put up with me. I have the best friends in the whole wide world, so I’m never lonely, but I will always be alone.’
Esmerée kicked her heels together. ‘That kinda sucks.’
Their attention was drawn to the door and the crash-bang-wallop coming from the other side.
‘Should we …?’ Esmerée wondered.
‘Poe will be fine,’ Bradshaw said. ‘Now, let me show you how I run data when the variables are constantly changing. Poe says it’s black magic, but that’s because he’s as dumb as a physicist when it comes to computers.’