Chapter 21
We wait in our hiding spot until the voices are long gone. The sun’s angle tells us it’s not safe to stay any longer, so Levi holds the blanket over his arm and takes my hand.
“Were those soldiers familiar to you?” he asks, as if he intuitively knows the answer.
I draw in a breath, letting my chest rise and fall. “Flynn and I were close. He was the first boy I kissed. It started about a year ago. He recently earned his ranking as a soldier.”
“Isn’t it illegal to kiss someone who isn’t your spouse in Avren?” He raises an eyebrow.
I grip his hand tighter, remembering the nerves I felt when Flynn stole me away to hidden places beyond the watchful eye of the Council. I loved and hated the rush of passion as his lips pressed against mine, his wandering hand moving from my hip to my breast. The only thing I wanted was for the Council to pick him as my husband so we could legitimize our need for each other. I loved him.
But as a soldier, he stands for everything the Kindred Few are fighting against—oppression, dictatorship, uniformity.
Unless he became a soldier to look for me.
Our heated times in secret places tell me he has a rebellious nature. Maybe I can save him.
“If caught, the Council would have expelled us from the city or made us a spectacle by hanging us side by side in the city square. Unmarried lovers are strictly forbidden.” I touch my lip with my free hand, recalling a much different kiss—Bastian’s. His kisses were my first without guilt attached. But when I thought about taking it further, I made up excuses and let the voices in my head cloud my judgment.
“That’s terrible.” He uses the same sign I used earlier to describe the curse brought on his family. “Don’t let your upbringing hold you back. You have a choice. It’s all in your head. With me, it’s physiological. Because of the fae, any children I choose to have will be born deaf.” He leads me onto a path meandering through the woods to the left. “Most of the fae rules won’t apply to you when we travel to the Unseelie Court. King Cirrus wants you there, so you won’t need to bring gifts to gain an audience with him. The issue will come when you want to leave. Once the others find the prophecy, we’ll need a plan in place to free you.”
“And what’s the best way to distract him?” An audience with the king who sent a bounty hunter after me doesn’t fill me with excitement.
“Your mere presence will enthrall him. He’s waited centuries for you to appear, watching Avren and the First City grow in power. Neither want anything to do with the fae. But they hold the humans in the wilderness in check, so this makes Cirrus happy.” He releases my hand, picks up a stick, and tosses it into the trees. “I’m still not sure how he thinks he’ll prevent the prophecy from happening. It’s the tome of his own people, so it’s written in stone.”
“Sometimes the inevitable is difficult to take. I felt the same way when I faced the Council a few weeks ago—like maybe I’d be immune from their age rule. We all know how that went.” We pass through a meadow that looks familiar to me, and I stop him, wanting to learn something from our time together. “What do I need to know about the fae?”
“They don’t lie. Cirrus will tell you like it is if you ask him.” He signs as he talks. “The longer you and I can keep the king busy, the more time the others have to find the prophecy.”
“If he doesn’t lie, can’t we ask where it is?” It seems logical to me, but I also know it means we’re laying our intentions bare.
He raises his eyes to the darkening canopy. “Just because they don’t lie doesn’t mean they don’t skirt around the truth and manipulate it. Cirrus intends to keep you, and he won’t let you leave without a fight. The prophecy holds the most precious secret in the land. He clutches it in his iron grip.”
I reflect on his words as we journey the rest of the way to the cabin, where Bastian greets us at the door. He wears his white tunic and linen pants and holds a beer stein in his hand. He’s surprisingly relaxed. After his comment about Nevil Falls, I thought he’d be nervous about me going there alone with Levi.
“And look who’s back from their lovers’ tryst by the falls.” He leans his free elbow on the doorframe. “You’ve got to tell me, Levi. Is she as good as she promises?”
I glare at Bastian. What a jerk.
Beyond annoyed, I shove past him, not wanting to relay any information. I had looked forward to an evening of talking through strategy with the other three, but unfortunately, it seems Bastian has had one too many. I storm past Grayson and Evie in the kitchen and slam the door to my room, flopping down on my mattress, tears stinging my eyes.
The door opens a few minutes later, then closes softly. A hand touches my back.
“Bastian’s stupid when he’s drunk,” Evie says.
I spin around to face her, shocked to see her sitting on the floor beside my mattress.
“I thought you could use a big sister right now.” She gives me a rare smile, then pulls her knees to her chest. “The moment you left with Levi, he started drinking. After a few, his lips loosened, and he couldn’t stop talking about you. When did you enchant my brother?” She shakes her head, red curls hanging loose from a tie behind her neck. “Bastian doesn’t fall for women. They fall for him.”
I lay my head on my arm and let out a stream of air. “It’s our stupid magnetic connection. If we didn’t have that, I think we’d kill each other.” I hate not being able to control my feelings for him. It’s something I’ve mulled over asking the fae king about. Does it pertain to the prophecy? Despite my desire to break our connection, curiosity takes over. “What did he say about me?”
“What didn’t he say about you?” She clasps her hands in front of her and flutters her eyelashes. “’Mari has the most beautiful hair. Have you seen how the light catches the golden flecks in her eyes? She’s a natural with a bow and arrow.’ You’ve got him wrapped around your finger.”
I wipe my eyes on my quilt, unsure of how much I want to share with my big sister. She hasn’t given me a reason to trust her. “Like I said, there’s a weird mojo going on between the two of us. We can’t explain or stop it. When we figure it out, I’m sure he’ll be the first to snap out of it.”
She reaches out, lifts my braid, setting it over my shoulder, and examines me. “Since his family died, happy moments have been few and far between for Bastian. Why fight it so hard? I don’t want to see him miserable again.”
I drag my teeth over my lip. My experience with men is extremely limited, and other than Flynn, I’m not sure how it’s supposed to feel. That relationship was secretive. If someone caught us, they’d turn us in, which made the act so much more exciting. But Bastian isn’t seeking a rush. “Because I want it to be real.”
“Then give him a chance.” She taps my leg, stands, and stretches her arms over her head. “And if you don’t, I get that too. It took Gray nineteen rejections before he got a yes from me. These men are in it for the long haul. If Bastian didn’t see a future with you, he wouldn’t risk our family dynamics over a fling.”
“But what about his other flings?” Susan comes immediately to my mind. Does Bastian want an open relationship where he’s free to see whoever he wants? My stomach twists at the thought.
Evie lifts a book from the shelf and examines it before tossing it onto Levi’s bed. “If you’re committed to each other, they won’t happen anymore. We’ll all see to that.” She walks over to the door and pauses. “You coming?”
“I think I’ll stay here for a while.” I snatch a book from the shelf to show her I’m serious about my alone time. “Been meaning to read this one.” I glance at the cover: Hiking the Elmridden Range. “It looks riveting.”
Evie smiles and motions to the living room. “I’ll be in here if you need anything.”
“Ok,” I say, opening the book. “And, Evie?”
She turns back to me. “Yes?”
“Thanks.”
After the door is closed, I place the book back on the shelf and fold my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. Despite Bastian’s comments when we arrived at the cabin, tonight is the first time I feel like I belong. I draw in a deep breath, hold it for several seconds, and release it.
Twenty minutes pass before the door opens again and Levi enters carrying a tray of food. He places it on the ground beside my bed and sits next to me.
“He feels bad.” There’s a slight frown on his face as he signs the words. “It was as much a dig at me as it was at you. I think he’s jealous of my good looks and massive form.” He holds up his arm and flexes his bicep.
I smile before tossing my pillow, hitting him square in the face. Rather than retaliating, he hugs it to his chest, lunges for his mattress, and places it behind his head.
“Come on, Levi.” I pout and cross my arms.
He flings it back to me, reclines on his own pillow, and crosses his legs. “I wish things could stay like this forever.” Tears glisten behind his glasses, making me want to bridge the short expanse and comfort him, but I stay put. “There’s a lot of talk about taking down the cities with the saviors and freeing the wilderness, but the idea of doing it and the actual task are two totally different things. I’m worried about putting you in danger with Cirrus. I can’t imagine what going against Avren and the First City forces will be like.”
“We can only tackle one thing at a time.” I snuggle into my pillow but keep facing him so he can read my lips. “If we think about the big picture, we’ll all go crazy from the magnitude of the task.”
“For being so young, you’re an amazing woman.” He rubs his eyes. “Now, eat your dinner so we can both go to bed.”
By six the next morning,Bastian has me in the meadow, aiming my arrow at a yarn doll he’s propped on a fencepost. Our walk from the cabin was silent, and we avoided eye contact. With my arrow pointed at the chest of the doll, I feel his stare, and how, more than anything he wants to apologize, but his pride holds him back.
The bowstring shakes between my thumb and forefinger as I spend too long trying to hit my target. With a choice curse word, I send my arrow flying into the leaves of a tree high above the fencepost.
“Concentrate, Mari.” He goes to retrieve my arrow. “I can’t take you to Cirrus if you can’t defend yourself.”
“Like they’d let me waltz into the Unseelie Court with a quiver full of iron-tipped arrows on my back.” I retrieve another arrow, this time focusing on a tree on the other side of the meadow from Bastian. I draw back and hit my target. “Knowledge of the fae is much more valuable. If I know what to expect… how Cirrus might trick me…”
“You’re leaving with us.” He grips the arrow in his hand, his knuckles turning so white, I’m afraid he might snap the shaft in half. “I’ll burn the place down before I let them have you.”
I lay the bow on the ground and place a hand on his chest. “You’ve got to trust me. You’ve got to trust Levi.” I slide my hand to his cheek, running my thumb along his stubble. “He’s your brother.”
He closes his eyes, his lashes impossibly long as he leans into my palm. “This is new for me. I’m afraid if you fulfill your purpose written within the prophecy, I’ll lose you. Control’s important to me. Having my battle plans laid out on the table, each scenario thought through using stratagem, pieces on a map.” He pitches forward and touches his lips to mine. “I don’t want to reduce your significance to a wooden token on my map.”
“It’s not your job to protect me.” I could get lost in those eyes—in his pain. “We’re a team. All of us. We go in together and come out together. And as far as Levi is concerned…” I trace his lip with my pointer finger. “Besides Gray, he’s the only one who accepted me when I first arrived.”
He winces.
“I understand the reservations you had, but it doesn’t change that he’s become my best friend.” The truth must hurt him. In Avren, they teach us to always portray everything with honesty, not the deceit the Council uses regularly. “It’s easy to love Levi.”
He averts his eyes, staring intently at his boots. “It is. I won’t pretend that I don’t want to be the one you trust the most. I also know I need to earn it.” His attention draws back to me as he takes my free hand. “It doesn’t help if I act the way I did last night. I’m sorry about what I said. I’ll make it up to both of you by having you home early for Levi’s training today.”
I smile, peck him on the cheek, and release his hand to pick up my bow. “I’m sure he’d like that. He’d like you to acknowledge that his time with me is just as important as what you’re teaching me.”
The morning wears on. I shoot so many arrows, my arm shakes when I hold up my bow again, but Bastian is insistent. Competency isn’t the goal. It’s perfection. My body’s exhausted, and the commander’s demands are impossible.
“Again,” he says, arms crossed, feet spread. “I need you to hit the bullseye every single time.”
“Why?” I slump my shoulders and let the bow fall beside me. “So I can hit a Miscrete in the left eye instead of the right?” I sit on a stump and rest my elbows on my knees, face in my hands. He might get me back to Levi early, but my mind’s too jumbled to learn a thing.
“Because you’re the savior.” Unlike other times, he says it without a smirk on his face as he sits on the stump beside me. “And I’m your trainer. Your performance reflects on me. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
With my hand still unsteady from exhaustion, I rest it on his leg. “What are you really afraid of?”
His gaze is on the forest. With his hair tied back in a knot, I can admire his chiseled jawline and the way the sunlight catches free tendrils of his hair, illuminating them to a warm chocolate brown. “I’m afraid of the unknown. What the rest of the prophecy holds. The other savior comes from the First City, a place brimming with torture and darkness. The thought of you working with a demon drives me mad.”
I squeeze his leg, trying to reassure him. “And you’ll be with us. I can’t imagine fighting the soldiers of Avren or the Miscretes without you by my side.”
He forces a smile, still looking straight ahead. He clasps his hands between his knees, lost in a different world. “Yes, of course.”