27. Lira
27
LIRA
“ W hat’s wrong?” I asked. Had I not touched him correctly or been too eager?
“This was a mistake,” he rasped, untangling himself from my body.
My heart seized as my chest yanked so hard I feared my insides would leap from my chest to him. When I thought I’d experienced the worst sort of agony, it was nothing compared to this.
Somehow, unguarded kisses and touches I’d never experienced before led me to hand my heart over to my captor … a man who clearly still hated me.
He frowned and adjusted his shirt. The outline of something that hadn’t been there before was visible on his chest. A dark-blue light emanated from it, like the moon glowing through shadows. The tattoo contained thin, delicate branches, with leaves sprouting every few inches and jagged thorns interlocked within.
My breath caught. “When did you get that?” I’d slept next to him for many nights and seen him with thinner shirts on, and I noticed everything about him .
“The same blasted time you did,” he answered, his voice low and growly.
“What? I don’t—” Something on my chest glowed light blue and gold, and I stared down to find that the same design had formed on me as well. “How is that possible?” I choked. I pulled my top up, hiding my breasts from view now that our intimate moment was over, but the embarrassment stopped registering because all I could do was focus on this magical tattoo that had appeared out of blazing nowhere.
Sitting upright, I moved the dress, my eyes trailing the design as it flowed down my shoulders and arms. The design cut off at my wrists, and part of me knew it was meant to go further, though I couldn’t explain how or why I knew that. The magic pulsed steadily, brightening every second or so.
Clenching his jaw, Tavish jumped to his feet, his breathing quickening. So did the pulses of my tattoo.
“I … I don’t understand.” My own heart quickened, trying to rationalize what I saw here. Out of everything that had happened since I’d come to Ardanos, this made the least sense of all. “We both got these markings, and neither of us recalls it.”
“We were preoccupied.” His hands fisted. “Luckily, we ended this in time before we completed the bond.”
“Bond?” I racked my brain, trying to catch up to the conversation. “Is this what Finnian has been talking about?”
He froze, and the pulsing of my new marks slowed as well.
“What exactly did Finnian tell you?” His jaw twitched, and his face blanched more.
Shit. I’d thrown Finnian into the darkness without meaning to. “He didn’t tell me anything. He only said that he believed I wouldn’t die if I survived the trials.”
“Did he now?” Tavish gritted out and took a few steps back, his wings spreading, making it clear he was leaving.
I needed him to calm down before he confronted Finnian. I hadn’t meant to cause problems between them. “Tavish, please don’t go.” I stood, the bottom of my feet still aching but, thankfully, nothing like before the bath. “I … I need to understand what’s going on.” I placed my hands on his shoulders, and his body relaxed.
His face softened before it turned icier than I’d ever seen it. His markings were now covered, which made me feel more vulnerable.
“It’s better if you don’t because it doesn’t change a thing,” he replied, pushing my hands off him. “My people are my responsibility, and to save them, you must die. There’s no question about it.”
The finality of his words was like cold water being splashed all over me. How had I been so stupid as to allow him to kiss me, especially when he’d made it clear that no matter what, I’d die? I’d deluded myself into believing he wouldn’t kill me when I should’ve been focusing on saving myself. By looking for safety from someone other than myself, I’d given a piece of my heart to the person who’d sealed my fate by bringing me here.
I’d been so careless and, worse, stupid.
I couldn’t stop myself from asking the one question I needed an answer to before everything between us shattered like glass. “So this meant nothing ?”
He winced and closed his eyes before opening them again, their color dark like a stormy night. “Sprite, it doesn’t matter because, at the end of the night, our circumstances haven’t changed.” He turned, flying to the door, leaving me in the middle of the night.
And somehow, someway, I knew he wasn’t coming back.
When he left and the door shut, I felt more alone than ever. I could’ve sworn that Tavish had ripped my heart from my chest and taken it with him, leaving me feeling cold and hollow, a shell of myself.
I sobbed, flopped back onto the bed, and stared at the sky, which darkened until not even the moon was visible. The only light I could see was the glow of the tattoo on my chest, which had my heart aching even more.
Nightbane bounded onto the bed and nestled into my side. His warmth eased some of my loneliness, but it couldn’t touch the deep, endless void that had been ripped through my chest. Still, I clung to him like a lifeline, needing to not feel alone. I knew Nightbane would always be there for me.
I just wished Tavish felt even a small part of the beast’s love for me.
The door to the bedchamber opened, stirring me from my sleep. I jerked my head up and grimaced. Of course, it’d be him , the man who’d had me believing that maybe Tavish and I were meant to be together. Maybe that was part of their plan to torture me—make me believe I had a chance to live.
“Hey, Lira.” Finnian mashed his lips together and placed a pair of leather pants and a long-sleeve black tunic on the bed while dropping a new pair of boots on the floor.
This particular tunic laced high up to the neck, which would hide my new tattoo. Something I noted but didn’t care enough to correct. Each time, my heart ached worse; my tattoo kept lighting up like it was trying to summon someone.
I didn’t respond, but those were the clothes I wore for the gauntlet, which meant one thing.
Round three was here, and Tavish hadn’t come back since that night two days ago. Finola had brought me my food and water, and I’d been practicing flying around this room to get a sense of my wings.
It was difficult in here because there wasn’t much room to fly high or maneuver.
I untangled from Nightbane and placed my feet on the floor. “I take it the time has come for me to die?” During the past two days, I’d thought a lot about everything, and my remorse for outing Finnian vanished the more I realized it was my future to die … not his .
“Don’t say that.” He lifted a hand. “I’ve told you—”
“You better shut your blazing mouth.” My blood boiled, and I jabbed a finger at him. “Stop giving me false hope. Tavish made it clear where his loyalties lie, and I won’t be a buffoon any longer. I’ve come to accept this was the plan since I’ve come here, and I am through letting you mess with my mind.”
His jaw dropped. “I’ve never messed with you. I’ve seen Tavish’s marks. They further validate everything I’ve been saying.”
I wanted to cling to those words, but no. I’d rather die with dignity than the deluded hope that some prince—or, rather, king would save me. I’d save my own damn self. “Stop with the bond and mark conversations and comments. If anything, those two things pushed us further apart. My people might have wronged your people, but every single Unseelie wants to murder an innocent whose only sin is who her parents are.” Parents I didn’t remember, which made this harder for me to understand. They were strangers without faces to me.
I swiped the clothes from the bed and headed into the bathroom. “Nightbane, come with me, please.” After two days together, during which he’d been my only companion, he was the one friend I had in this realm.
The beast didn’t hesitate, trotting after me while eyeing Finnian the whole while. The fur on his neck rose.
Good. At least Finnian might not be so mouthy. I didn’t want him to continue pushing something that was none of his business anyway.
Today, I’d die one way or the other—either at the hands of the prisoners, from the obstacles we faced, or when I tried to escape again. Unlike last time, there was no way I would stop, especially since I had wings. I could now fly high enough to find my way back to Earth and my family. My only hesitation was leaving Nightbane behind, but it wasn’t like if I stayed, I’d have a happily ever after.
I removed my dress and tossed it aside as I desperately tried to ignore the glowing marks on my chest and arms. Looking at the magical tattoo caused my heart to throb and the tattoo to pulse harder, as if it were sending out an SOS.
Pushing away the crushing sensation from not being near Tavish, I slipped on the pants and shirt quickly. Despite the clothes covering the tattoo, I could feel it under the material, a stark reminder.
I still wasn’t sure what it meant, and I feared that if I learned more, it might make the sting of betrayal worse.
Nightbane whimpered, coming to my side, and I ran my fingers through his fur again. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if we hadn’t formed this friendship. “Thank you for being here for me.”
Someone knocked on the door. “Lira, I hate to rush you, but we need to hurry to the gauntlet. The prison guards are expecting us.”
Us.
Tavish wasn’t even going to come see me before I entered the last battle. Tears burned my eyes, but I blinked them away. That was for the best. Seeing him would only distract me. I didn’t need to struggle more than I already was.
Swallowing past the thickness of my throat, I walked around the bed to reach the boots Finnian left on the floor. I didn’t waste any time, almost eager to get out and fight someone to handle the frustration boiling inside me.
I slipped the boots on and bent down to tie them.
Finnian cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I made things worse. I didn’t mean to,” he whispered.
I froze on the last loop. “You do realize you just apologized to me?” I straightened, my heart lightening in my chest. “Which means you owe me.”
“Oh, I know.” He exhaled. “And I do owe you. I fear that maybe whispering in your ear made everything worse for you. That wasn’t my intention, and you’re right; you’ve already suffered so much for things you didn’t do. It only felt right to say that.” He winked, his cocky grin sliding back into place. “But you won’t get me to say it again.”
Laughter bubbled from my chest, startling me. “I wasn’t trying to trick you.”
I hated how he managed to make me smile even when I didn’t want to. There was just something about him, and he knew it, which made him incorrigible yet charismatic.
“Love, you’re about to go into a tournament where you could die. I’d be disappointed if you weren’t trying.” He frowned, the twinkle fading from his eyes.
Whether it was right or not didn’t matter. “No one deserves this. Not even the prisoners I’m fighting.”
“We’ll agree to disagree on that.” He slowly walked to the door with his head hanging like he was the one about to fight for his life and not me. “Either way, it doesn’t change what has to be done.”
Nightbane kept pace at my side, and I folded my wings behind me. That was the one thing I’d learned to do without difficulty, and I didn’t want to chance anyone harming them as I passed by.
I didn’t trust the Unseelie.
When I reached the threshold, I glanced over my shoulder, feeling like I was leaving a large part of myself behind in that room.
Stupid, foolish wildling I’d become.
Torcall and Finola stood tall, their hands on their swords like they were prepared to wield them at any time as the four of us and Nightbane made our way toward the prison.
We walked instead of flying, which was for the best. I didn’t want to use my wings before the gauntlet and strain my back muscles any more than I had to. The fall from Earth had been long and fast, which meant my flight upward would take forever … or feel like it.
Our steps echoed on the smooth floor, informing everyone of our arrival.
Not that they would be afraid.
Soon, the stench of piss and feces hit my nose, and I swallowed a gag. I refused to be weak.
In the hallway, I paused, taking in Dougal, Lorne, Moira, Rona, and Bran with their wings free .
The muscles in my back relaxed. At least, in this fight, we’d have our wings. That would help with whatever obstacles came our way and in my escape.
“Ah, the sunscorched princess has finally decided to join us.” Rona sneered. “I can’t wait to watch her die today.”
Today was the last chance the five of them had to kill me. They’d be out for my blood more than ever before, wanting to claim that victory. But I didn’t plan on dying.
I had something to prove to them all, including myself.
“Bring out the chains,” Struan called excitedly. “Then we’ll pass out the weapons for the show.”
The show.
My skin crawled.
One guard with hair the color of soil stepped up from the front of the room. The chains were in the shape of wings, and he passed the other five prisoners and came straight to me.
Cold fear knotted my stomach. No . This couldn’t be.
Two guards stepped around Torcall and Finola and grabbed my arms. I tried to jerk out of their grasp as the one guard with the chains placed them around my wings. The chains pressed against my wings, and my back ached while my wings fluttered, trying to break free. Locks clicked, and the walls closed in on me. I’d never been claustrophobic before, so of course it would happen before heading to war.
“Hand out the swords and shields, and we can let them inside. Eldrin’s waiting.” Struan rubbed his hands, batting his eyes at me.
My spine stiffened when I realized what was going on.
“What about the others?” Finnian asked and placed a hand on my shoulder, holding me back.
I had no plans to move forward, especially when my head was getting dizzy. I took in deep, slow breaths to calm myself.
“Last gauntlet, she used her wings, and the others didn’t.” Struan shrugged. “Eldrin said it was only fair that the other five get to use their wings this time while she’s chained up.”
“She didn’t have wings to chain,” Finnian snarled, not sounding like the man I knew. “She got them during the trial. It’s not her fault, nor should she be punished.”
Bran clucked his tongue. “Interestingly, the princess stays in the royal chambers and one of the king’s most trusted is advocating for her against his own kind. I’m sure the Unseelie will be interested to learn that. Right, Lorne?”
“ You are a traitor. You aren’t my kind.” Finnian’s nose wrinkled. “So when you tell this story, please make sure you include that ‘by your own kind,’ you mean the prisoners who rose against King Tavish by harming the young and ruining limited resources.”
The smug expression fell from his face.
“This isn’t your decision.” Struan grabbed a long sword from behind him. “If you have a problem, take it up with Eldrin.”
I suspected that Finnian would do just that, so I took his hand and forced a grin. “I’ll be fine.” The way he’d stood up for me had made my annoyance with him vanish. Damn Unseelie.
“Let’s begin.” Struan opened the door and held out the sword and armor to Dougal. “Torcall, leash Nightbane so the beast doesn’t follow her inside.”
One by one, they handed each of us a weapon, and when I came to him, I almost expected him to pass over me.
But he didn’t.
He handed me the same weapon as the others. The sword was heavy and made of the dark material the guards wore, with matching armor that fit on my forearm.
Still, Struan chuckled. “I can’t wait to see you fall.”
When I stepped out, Finnian flew beside me.
“Be safe, Lira,” he murmured and flew off toward the stands.
I kept my gaze on him as he headed toward Caelan, Eldrin, and Tavish. When I met Tavish’s eyes, my heart skipped a beat, and I swore I saw a faint glow under his shirt that my pulse matched.
Strange.
He opened his mouth to say something, so I turned my head, not wanting to know. He didn’t get the last word, not like this.
Then I realized the arena was flat, with no obstacle courses that the eye could see. A thick wall of nightmare mist floated on one side. The hairs on my neck rose. Something didn’t feel right.
The six of us waited for Eldrin to fly upward and give his usual speech, but then the nightmare gas billowed toward us.
I spun around, trying to figure out how the sword and shield were supposed to protect me, and the gas transformed into the most terrifying creature I’d ever seen.