Chapter Five
~ Outing ~
Kit
I’ve been holed up in my tiny room for what feels like hours now, dressed in the plain jeans and oversized hoodie I pulled on after my panicked escape from breakfast. My dark curls are behaving for once, falling softly across my forehead instead of sticking up in every direction.
I’m sitting cross-legged on the narrow bed with Lorraine’s Kindle balanced on my knees, the screen’s soft glow the only light I need.
She let me borrow it a few days ago, mentioning something about a subscription that gives her unlimited free books…
I don’t really understand how it works, but I’m grateful for it.
At first, I tried to stick with something familiar: a coding manual full of algorithms and debugging techniques.
It should’ve held my attention, but today even that felt flat and boring, which is surprising because coding has always been my escape.
After a while the words started blurring together, so I gave up and started poking around in Lorraine’s library instead.
She has everything… biographies of old politicians, heavy history books about wars I’ve never heard of, and then rows and rows of romance novels with colourful covers and dramatic titles.
Curiosity got the better of me. I clicked on the “recommended for you” section, and the very first book that popped up felt like it was reading my mind.
The cover showed a stark black skull intertwined with deep red roses, elegant and menacing at the same time.
Under the title was a little tagline in sleek white font: Dark Mafia Romance.
I frowned, thumb hovering over the screen, then clicked anyway. Maybe these fictional characters would be nothing like Soren… or maybe they’d help me make sense of the man who now owns every part of my life.
◆◆◆
An hour later I’m deep into chapter six, completely pulled in despite myself.
The male lead is cold-hearted and ruthless, just like Soren, issuing orders with that same icy authority, and keeping everyone at arm’s length.
But the story keeps hinting at something deeper: a big secret he’s carrying, and the suggestion that he actually has a soft spot for one person, even if he struggles to admit it or show it.
The way the author describes his internal conflict makes my chest feel strangely tight.
I let out a small, quiet laugh to myself, shaking my head.
Nothing like Soren at all. Soren doesn’t know how to be nice.
He doesn’t do feelings, especially not for someone like me.
All he does is control me, keep me locked away, and use my body whenever the mood strikes him.
I’m just his favourite toy, nothing more.
A gentle knock on the door makes me jolt upright, heart skipping. It’s too soft to be Soren’s usual heavy fist.
I swallow and call out cautiously, “Yeah?”
The door cracks open and both Lorraine and Selina pop their heads in, wearing bright, conspiratorial smiles.
I quickly lock the Kindle and set it aside on the bed. “Um… hi?”
Lorraine’s smile widens. “We’re going shopping.”
“Oh… cool,” I murmur, pulling my sleeves down over my hands. “Have a nice time.”
Selina laughs, stepping fully into the room without waiting for an invitation. She crosses over, grabs my hands, and gently pulls me up off the bed. “You’re coming with us, kitty boy.”
Panic surges through me instantly, hot and choking. I stammer like the pathetic mess I am. “No… I-I can’t… Soren won’t like that… he…”
Lorraine waves a hand dismissively. “Oh hush, child. You’ve not been anywhere for two years. It’s not good for you.”
Selina grins wider, still holding my wrist. “Besides, the boss is out.”
My frown deepens. “He is?”
Soren almost always tells me, however curtly, when he’s leaving the estate. The fact that he didn’t this time sits strangely in my stomach.
“Yep,” Selina says cheerfully. “Probably putting a bullet in someone’s brain.”
Lorraine shoots her a mild look but doesn’t correct her. “Anyway, we all get a card. Has to be made and approved by Soren himself.”
I nod slowly. Of course, nothing here is truly legal in the way normal people understand it. Soren’s legitimate businesses… like the chain of luxury car dealerships… might cover some things, but someone like Lorraine, who’s “just” the housekeeper, could never explain her salary on paper.
Selina reaches into her pocket. “Before Armen left, he slid this into my pocket.”
She pulls out a very small, neatly folded envelope. My full name is scrawled across the front in Soren’s familiar, sharp handwriting.
My stomach twists. “I shouldn’t open this…” I whisper, turning the envelope over in my hands. “This isn’t mine… you’re all going to get into trouble…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Selina says lightly. “He’s not going to fire me, Armen, or Lorraine. Not when all we’re really doing is letting you have a nice, safe day out with money he’s provided for you.”
I hesitate for another long second, then carefully tear the envelope open without damaging it. Inside is a sleek black credit card. My name is printed on it in crisp white letters.
Selina snorts with amusement. “Oh my god, he’s unofficially claimed you.”
I stare harder at the card and feel my face pale. “Why wouldn’t he just put my last name…? It says… Sinclair.”
Lorraine’s voice is soft and kind. “I think it suits you, Christopher Sinclair.”
Selina laughs again. “Trust me, there’ll be a good reason. Now then, Kit Sinclair, let’s go spend some money.”
A tiny, surprised laugh escapes me despite everything. “Do you even know how much is on this?”
“Oh, trust me…” Selina winks. “There’s plenty.”
I glance around my cramped little room, at the uncomfortable single bed that’s been my safe space for two years. “I’d like a new bed.”
Selina blinks, genuinely surprised. “Really?”
I nod shyly, cheeks warming. “It’s kinda uncomfortable.”
“The first thing you think of is something you need, not something you want?” She shakes her head, grinning. “Oh my god, I know you have a personality somewhere in there, Kit.”
Lorraine just smiles softly, warm and knowing, as the three of us leave my room together and start down the hallway. For the first time in a very long time, the estate doesn’t feel quite so suffocating.
◆◆◆
I walk through the enormous supermarket feeling completely out of place, my jeans and oversized hoodie making me the most casually dressed person in the entire building.
This isn’t like any store I’ve ever been to before; it feels more like a members-only warehouse hidden inside a massive, sleek building, with everything from fresh produce to high-end furniture spread out under bright lights.
The staff at the entrance greeted Lorraine like an old friend, smiling warmly and chatting about bulk deals and seasonal bargains.
She explained cheerfully that this is where she comes for all the estate’s produce because the prices are better when you buy in large quantities.
The whole time we’ve been inside, I haven’t let go of Selina’s hand once. I know I must look like a scared little lamb clinging to her, but she doesn’t seem to mind at all. She just squeezes my fingers gently every now and then, keeping me close as we move through the wide aisles.
An elderly lady with perfectly styled silver hair and a shopping trolley full of flowers suddenly approaches us, her face lighting up with a warm, grandmotherly smile.
She looks between Selina and me, clasping her hands together. “Oh, what a lovely young couple you two make! So sweet, it warms my heart.”
My eyes go wide and I freeze, heat flooding my cheeks.
I can’t speak. The words are stuck somewhere deep in my throat; it feels like I’ve completely forgotten how to socialise with normal people after two years of living in Soren’s world, where everyone is intimidating and every conversation feels dangerous.
I just stand here, embarrassed and staring at the floor.
Selina bursts out laughing, bright and easy. “That’s so kind of you! Actually, he’s my little brother. He’s a bit shy and doesn’t speak much.”
The lady nods understandingly, still smiling. “Well, aren’t you two just adorable. Enjoy your shopping, dears.”
As soon as she walks away, I let out a tiny breath I didn’t realise I was holding. Selina just grins and gives my hand another squeeze.
We eventually make our way over to the furniture section. Selina swings our joined hands lightly and says, “Let’s get the boring stuff over with first.”
The beds on display are all beautiful… big, comfortable-looking mattresses with elegant frames, but most of them are far too large for my tiny room.
If I’m going to upgrade, I might as well get something that actually makes the space feel a little less like a shoebox.
I run my fingers over one of the mattresses, smiling sadly to myself.
A friendly salesman in a crisp polo shirt interrupts my thoughts, approaching us with a professional smile. “Can I help you folks with anything today?”
Selina gives me an encouraging little nudge with her elbow, her eyes bright.
I swallow hard. “Um… I…”
My throat feels tight. The social anxiety I never used to have creeps in fast, making my voice crack. I laugh awkwardly, the sound too quiet and nervous, and whisper, “I need a bed.”
Selina sighs softly beside me, a little sad, and starts rubbing gentle circles on my back with her free hand.
The man smiles kindly, completely unfazed. “What size are you considering?”
I glance up at Selina, breathing a little heavier now. Oh god, I think I might actually have a panic attack right here in the middle of the store. I try to act casual, letting all the nerves leak out as sweat instead of words.
Selina jumps in smoothly. “He has a pretty small room. He’d like something that gives him more space.”
The salesman nods enthusiastically. “Oh, I’ve got just the thing. Follow me.”
We trail after him through the display area until he stops at a sleek white wall unit. He reaches up, pulls a hidden string, and with a smooth mechanical motion a full-sized bed folds down from the frame, complete with a thick, luxurious-looking mattress already made up.
Selina claps her hands together, genuinely excited. “Oh my god, Kitty, you have to get this! Think of all the space you’d have.”
I nod, offering an awkward little smile. “Y-yeah… okay…”
The man gestures proudly. “It also comes in black if you’d prefer that option.”
I nod again, quicker this time.
Selina asks, “Do you have any in stock?”
“Let me check,” he says, stepping a few metres away and speaking quietly into the small comms device clipped to his collar.
I turn to Selina, voice barely above a whisper. “We can’t show up with a massive box, Selina. Soren will know… and besides, who’s going to install that onto my wall? The frame is pretty big.”
She smiles, completely unbothered. “Oh, Ralph used to be a builder.”
I frown. “The security guard who works the front gate?”
She nods. “He’ll happily do it for you. He’s fast, won’t take him long at all.”
“Oh…”
The salesman returns, still smiling. “We have a black frame in stock. The white has sold out, other than this display piece.”
I swallow, trying to be brave, and manage to say, “I’ll take the black please.”
“Excellent choice. If you buy the mattress too, I can give you a two-hundred-dollar discount instead of purchasing them separately.”
Selina doesn’t even hesitate. “Oh my god, yes, obviously!”
I let out a small, nervous laugh and nod in agreement.
“I’ll have everything waiting for you by checkout,” the man says cheerfully before wandering off to arrange the order.
As we stand here, the reality of what I’ve just done settles over me.
It feels like a surprisingly big step, like I’m finally trying to turn my tiny shoebox room into something that actually feels like my own space after two long years.
The thought both terrifies and excites me in equal measure.
I squeeze Selina’s hand a little tighter, grateful she’s here, and let her lead me toward the next aisle while my heart continues to race with a strange mix of fear and quiet hope.