Chapter 34 Liam
LIAM
It’s a strange feeling. Caught between excitement and the sense of being hollow. Drained.
Laura. She’s really out there. She has no idea who she is. No memory of me, our parents. My one blood tie still living in this world, and she doesn’t know I exist.
I’ve never seen myself as a hopeful person.
Hope is expensive. Hope is wasteful. I would rather spend my time planning.
Preparing. Now, there’s nothing I can do but hope all of the planning was enough.
We didn’t exactly take much time—less than twenty-four hours after learning Laura has been alive all these years, Nick is on a jet, in the air by now.
While I sit and stare out the window, reeling thanks to the way life flipped on its head all at once. Sitting in place and waiting isn’t in my nature. There’s an itchy ache from head to toe. My body is urging me to move, to do something, anything. I can’t just sit here and wait.
Does she ever get her memory back? Can she ever be the person she was before everything changed? That’s a pointless question, and not something I should expect. She won’t be the same, because I will never be the same. Time has changed us both. That’s what time does.
I changed twice over. First, in the years after the explosion.
Now, thanks to Aurora, I’m a different man than I was in the moment before charging into her home and taking her as my prisoner. I don’t want to change back. This is much better.
I keep myself busy by turning my attention to what she needs.
A text comes through from the delivery service.
The truck is on schedule, loaded up. I reply with a thumbs up.
They should be here within the hour, meaning I’ll need to wake Aurora soon if I’m going to get her out of here in time for the surprise to go as planned.
I had already put together plans to make my home hers and help her become more comfortable, but Laura’s situation sped up the timeline.
Strange how something so earth-shattering can realign your priorities.
We’re going to be living in limbo until Nick locates my sister—and that still won’t be the end of things, because he’ll need to convince her to come home.
It stings, imagining her looking at him with no memory of what they meant to each other.
This is my way of combating that sting. Turning toward hope. To happiness. I’ve made up my mind to go and wake her up when she shuffles into the room.
She’s about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
I feel the ice around my heart thaw more and more every day to allow in these new feelings.
Tenderness. Affection. And there I was, imagining I was incapable of anything so basic.
She’s wearing her pajamas, yawning, rubbing knuckles over her eyes before giving me a sleepy grin.
“When did you get up?” she asks before yawning again.
She hasn’t even brushed her hair yet this morning.
It’s flat on one side, sticking up a little.
The sight makes me smile. “I didn’t sleep much,” I admit. She looks at me, concerned, and all I can do is lift a shoulder. “I have a lot on my mind.”
Her head tips to the side and concern pinches her features. “Do you wish you were the one who went instead of Nick?”
“Yes and no. I know it was for the best that I stay.”
She walks around the desk and leans against the edge, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle another yawn. “But part of you is always going to be out there, with him, until they come back.”
Her perceptiveness has a way of startling me.
“That’s about it, yes. I don’t want you to think it means I would rather not be here, with you.
That, you don’t need to worry about.” There’s so much more I want to say.
A lifetime’s worth. It’s all right there, in my heart, like a flood behind a dam.
It wants to break free, wants to break down those carefully built walls.
The work it takes to hold everything back is damn near exhausting.
But what she told me about words—how empty they are, how useless—holds me back. I can’t tell her in words. She wouldn’t believe me. So I have to rely on actions.
That’s why I briskly clap my hands. “Go on. Get dressed. We’re going out.”
Her eyes narrow. “What? Where?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Can you see how I would be worried about it?” She’s trying to joke, but I hear the anxiety underneath.
“I promise, it will be fun, but you need to move your ass.”
Now she laughs, looking me up and down. “Fun? I didn’t know that was a word in your vocabulary.”
“There are a lot of things about me you don’t know.” But I want to show her. I can’t wait to show her. “Now get moving, because I’m hungry.”
She does get moving, albeit slowly, chewing her lip and glancing back at me. Still unsure. I make a shooing motion with my hand, chuckling to myself, then call Ethan to check in on his progress.
“You don’t believe in giving a man time, do you?” he asks, sounding exasperated.
“You act like we’ve never met,” I retort. “I take it this means there hasn’t been any success with finding her yet.”
“I’ll find her.” I recognize the determination in his voice. He’s taking this personally, like a puzzle determined to make him fail. He’s never been one to back down from a challenge, and this is no exception.
Glancing toward the doorway Aurora just slipped through, I murmur, “Do we have the last known location for her?”
“As far as I can tell, Dominique was living in the area up until the time Aurora was around two years old,” he explains. “After that, it looks like fuckface gave her a shit ton of money and told her to get lost.”
That sounds about right. “Keep me posted,” I urge.
By the time Aurora returns, she’s washed and brushed, wearing jeans and flats along with an oversized cardigan. “I wasn’t exactly sure how to dress,” she points out, spreading her arms and looking down at herself. “Is this good enough?”
It’s perfect. She’s perfect. “You’ll do,” I decide. Her confusion makes it difficult not to laugh. When was the last time I wanted to laugh sincerely? It’s pretty fucking sad that I can’t remember.
“Aren’t you getting changed?” she asks when I get up, making sure I have my wallet tucked into the back pocket of my jeans.
“What, is there something wrong with this?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.
“No, no, you look great.” She is beyond puzzled, just the same.
“I’m taking you out for a nice day, so I’m dressing a little more casually. And that’s all the information you’re getting out of me in advance,” I add before she can pump me for more. “Let’s get moving. We have a lot to do.”
“I’m in your hands.”
I smirk down at her as we head for the elevator. “Do me a favor? Try not to sound so much like you’re on your way to a funeral when you say that.”
Inside, I take the first step toward building real partnership. I punch in the code without covering the keypad, so she can see. When I look away, her eyes dart to the floor. “It’s all right. I wanted you to see,” I explain. “I’m not trying to keep it from you anymore.”
“Really?” She says it with so much wonder, so much disbelief.
“Really. I meant it when I said I want us to be a team. That means being open with you.” It is not something that comes naturally to me, that much is for damn sure. I might be cool and calm on the surface, but internally, I’m anything but. I have to learn to trust. She’s worth it.
The car is waiting in the garage and soon we’re on our way. I can tell it’s driving her nuts, having no idea where I’m taking her. “No, I’m not telling you,” I murmur when she turns to me with a question written all over her face.
There are more questions when we pull up in front of a diner miles away from the penthouse. “What are we doing here?”
“This is what’s called a diner,” I explain. “Sometimes, people go to them to eat food.”
“Ha ha,” she sighs, rolling her eyes.
“Come on. I want to see if they’re as good as I remember.” It’s almost too much, the memories that hit me from all sides when I climb out of the car and take Aurora’s hand before leading her up to the chrome-trimmed front door.
“You’ve been here before?” She groans softly when we step inside and the aroma of bacon and coffee hits us. “Oh, it smells incredible in here.”
It looks the same. I can’t believe it, but it’s true. We take a seat in a booth by the window, where menus wait in a stand. I hand one to her, still looking around.
“You’re quite a cheap date,” she jokes after looking through the choices. “I could go for a stack of pancakes.”
“Be careful what you wish for,” I warn. “If memory serves, they’re big enough to practically hang off the edge of the plate.”
“Was this someplace you used to come to a lot?”
The words get stuck in my throat, but I force my way through the hesitation. “The last time I was here, it was with my family. I used to come here for breakfast on Sunday mornings.”
She lets out a breath. Her gaze softens, her mouth opens. “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked like I did.”
“No, it’s fine. This might be the first time I’ve felt normal since then, to be honest with you.” And I am being honest. Sharing little pieces of myself. She isn’t the only person who knows what it feels like not being able to trust.
A smile tugs the corners of her mouth. “What was your favorite thing to order?”
“French toast and sausage. They have those really thick links, you know what I mean?” A waitress goes past carrying a tray loaded with the food, and I smile wide before I can help it. “They still have them. I know what I’m ordering.”
It’s just as good as I remember. Maybe better. I’m sitting on the other side of a vast stretch of time now. I know how dark life can be in a way I couldn’t have understood back in those days, when my family was intact and life felt secure.
By the time we leave, we’re both groaning, weighed down by pancakes and French toast, sausage and bacon. “I shouldn’t have gotten the chocolate chips,” she groans, one hand over her stomach.
“Sure. The chocolate chips were the problem.” When she gives me a sour smirk, my laughter fills the air. “Come on. We have more to do today.”
Much more. There is such a simple joy in watching her react when I take her shopping. “Get whatever you want,” I have to tell her time and again. Even now, she keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m going to fix that.
By early afternoon, though, she’s starting to loosen up. “Makeup, too?” she asks when I steer her in the direction of a Sephora.
“I meant it when I told you to get whatever you want. Not that you have to,” I point out before we enter the store. “You don’t have to wear anything you don’t want. I thought it might be something you’d like, that’s all.”
She peers inside, chewing her lip. “We’ve already bought so much today.”
Yes, the back of the SUV probably drags a little closer to the ground now thanks to all of the bags loaded in. “It means nothing. What’s the point of having money if you don’t use it?”
“You’re right. Okay.” Then we go inside, and she sits down with one of the associates who is about to have a very nice day.
Once she gets the idea this is a free-for-all, she starts bringing out products which she shows Aurora how to apply.
All of it makes me glad I’m not a woman, because it seems like a lot of work.
“I can’t believe it.” We’re both holding bags as we leave the store with one last stop in mind. As we load them into the car, she admits, “I kind of can’t wait to put all of this on.”
“Have fun with it. That’s what it’s for, right?” There’s an Apple Store a few doors down. “Come on. We’re getting you a phone of your own, too.”
“Am I dreaming?” She doesn’t hesitate to go inside. She’s learning, loosening up. I’m the lucky bastard who gets to watch it.
After buying the phone, we stop off at a food truck for hot dogs, which we eat while walking through the park. The sun is shining, a soft breeze shakes the trees all around us. “This has been the nicest day,” she tells me as we stroll.
“It has been.” What I wouldn’t give for more of them, a lifetime’s worth.
She could bankrupt me, and I wouldn’t care.
It would be worth it to see her smile like this.
To watch her light up. She stops to crumble what’s left of her bun on the ground for the pigeons, then laughs in delight when they swarm around us.
Being with her is so easy. It makes me wish we hadn’t wasted so much time as enemies.
I’m still reflecting on that as we drive home. “I’m going to need more closet space for all of this!” she points out, giggling, looking over her shoulder at all of the shopping bags.
“Then you’ll have a dressing room of your own. No problem.”
“Liam, come on.” She giggles weakly. “I was kidding.”
“I’m not. When are you going to get it through your head? I mean it when I say I want you to have everything you need, and that means more closet space. Get used to it,” I warn her. For now, she looks perplexed, still skeptical. It’s going to take time, that’s all. She’ll understand.
Everything becomes clearer for her once we’re upstairs, loaded down with bags, laughing as we stumble our way through the penthouse. “There’s one more surprise for you today,” I announce once we’ve dropped everything off in the bedroom.
“I’m not sure if I can take any more surprises.” She looks around with her hands on top of her head. “I don’t even know if I have the energy to put all of this away.”
“Trust me. You’ll like this.” At least, I hope she will. With her hand in mine, I lead her to my office. Our office.
Her jaw practically hits the floor when she sees how everything has been rearranged while we were out.
Instead of my desk sitting at the far end of the room, there are two desks, facing each other from opposite walls.
Her laptop sits on one of them. “This is our space now. You’re going to need it,” I remind her while she gapes in awe.
“Once you start school, you’ll need a dedicated place to do your work. ”
Her eyebrows pull together when she looks up at me. “Do you want me to be in here with you? Together?” Like it’s the most shocking thing imaginable.
“Yes. Not to watch over you,” I add in case she gets the wrong idea. “This has nothing to do with control. It has to do with… well, just wanting to be with you. As much as I can.”
She releases a silent laugh, looking over the space. “I love it.”
Before I have the chance to let her words sink in, she throws her arms around my neck and plants a kiss on my mouth. “I absolutely love it!”
Does she know? Has it hit her? That’s the first time she’s ever showed spontaneous affection like that. The moment is so precious, I don’t want to say anything and risk ruining it. All I can do is hug her back and know what I’ve suspected before now.
I’m falling in love with her. Aurora Blackwell, sheltered daughter of my mortal enemy, a girl whose life I was determined to destroy. I’m falling in love with her.
I think I already have.