5 #2
This was the hardest part of success—the need to say no often.
On occasion, a parent thought he was negotiating and offered more money, which was refused.
If that didn’t work, the ones who were used to getting their way would reach out to a more prominent parent, but the more they tried, the more awkward the situation grew.
Tom, a liberal American who had written his doctoral dissertation on education reformers, repudiated status performance of any kind.
The irony of him owning a private tutoring center was not lost on him; but the longer he did this, the more he believed that he could make a difference by being a useful educator.
The children here needed his care and protection, in some ways, much more than those back in the States.
Helen folded her hands in her lap.
“They won’t mind the assessment. At least you’ll have their results. In case—” Helen looked up, trying again. Sonya had said Helen couldn’t give up until she heard the word “no” at least three times.
“How about just Mido? She’s such a good student, and it would mean so much—”
“The assessment isn’t long. I suppose there is no harm—” he interrupted, not wanting to hear her plea. It was difficult for him to say no; Clara was the tougher one.
“They’ve moved around so much, and Bo and DH may take the Suneung and apply to colleges here. Of course, their grades have to be good, too. DH wants to study in America, but it might be hard—”
Helen felt overwhelmed by the number of rungs on the ladder, and, as usual, each child would need different things. Abroad, their education had seemed more manageable, and she hadn’t felt so powerless and alone.
Tom picked up the family education forms Helen had filled out earlier. He scanned them as she watched.
“Do the boys want to go to SNU like their father?”
“Well, that’s like wanting to go to the moon, I think.” She laughed. “Especially for children who have lived overseas. The children haven’t talked about the specifics yet. I suppose we will have to do that soon.”
Helen focused on the blue paper folder, which had held her job application only a few weeks before.
“Bo, the eldest, is an excellent student, and I know he’s determined.
He likes living in Korea and may decide to stay here.
For a career, the alumni networks are important.
” She shrugged. “I don’t know for certain, but of my three children, I think he could do well here.
I’m not sure about Seoul National, though. I mean, no one gets in there anymore—”
Tom smiled. Each year, Eagle sent three or four students to SNU, Korea University, and Yonsei.
The wealthier students from international schools often chose to apply to the more selective American universities, which Tom could almost always manage.
Many Eagle students had been accepted to the Ivies.
“The most selective schools here will take some of our students, but it will absolutely be more challenging for your children to apply to Korean universities. They are American born? If Bo goes to high school here, he would have difficulty applying as an international student. It makes more sense to send them to the US for college if possible.”
Helen bit her lower lip.
“And DH? Where does he want to go?”
“He just wants to play soccer.” Helen laughed. She felt most comfortable around her affable middle child. “I mean, he’s a great student, but he’d rather be in Sydney, I think, playing on his team.”
“Is his soccer very good?”
“Oh yes. He’s a striker. He was midfield but switched. He’s also such a fast runner that he could play winger if needed. Two coaches said he could almost go professional. I’m sure they’re exaggerating. That’s not likely, of course. Kids get injured, and I don’t like it when the ball hits his head.”
“Could DH go to a boarding school in the US? I know coaches at some very good high schools, who would consider a strong player.”
“DH is not just an athlete. He’s bright. He doesn’t have the recall facility and discipline of his older brother, but he’s a good student.” Helen was determined not to let DH rely solely on his athletic skills to get the education he needed.
Tom glanced at DH’s records. The boy had almost perfect marks and a long list of soccer accomplishments, but Tom was also impressed by the fact that he had been voted captain of his school and club teams.
“I can make some calls. It’s only April, and school will start in September in the United States.
If he’s as good as you say, I think this could be a great opportunity for him.
” Tom didn’t tell Helen that he had served as an assistant soccer coach at Andover when he worked in admissions.
The thought of a great high school soccer player having to grind it out in Seoul trying to get into a Korean university depressed him.
“I would be grateful to you if you could help my children in any way. I don’t know if Bo or Mido could live far from home, but DH has the social skills.
Everyone likes him. When he gets a job, I think he will be a great success.
” She paused. “I’m bragging now. Please excuse me.
” Helen tapped her mouth twice with her left hand.
Mary, Shin’s wife, was sending two sons to Lawrenceville, so Helen had looked into the cost at one point, and it would have been impossible to send all three.
With just one, though, they might be able to manage if she worked more hours, or if Sonya could help.
“Your youngest—”
Helen prepared herself, and Tom spoke up, seeing her anxious expression.
“Mido is quiet. I can sense that it took a lot for her to say what she did today, but she can speak well and persuasively.”
“Oh.” Helen covered her mouth, this time in surprise, realizing that Tom hadn’t been fooled. He had seen through Mido’s brave performance in the meeting.
“I don’t mind when a child is quiet, but it makes life harder for her in some ways. I have a younger sister like Mido. Artistic. Private. Perhaps sensitive.”
Helen felt grateful to Tom for seeing her children. Whenever a teacher felt hopeful for a child, the parent could not help feeling less alone. Hope felt like a rare gift.
She had wanted them to be accepted because Sonya had said an excellent hagwon was everything, but now she wanted her children to learn from this man who seemed to see them for who they were, even in such a brief time. But they had not yet spoken about money.
“The fees,” she said.
“Ah, yes. Of course.” Tom handed her a yellow folder, which included a chart outlining the courses taught.
Students were required to attend every term, including during holidays and breaks.
There was one fee for everything: The price was breathtaking.
Her entire salary would barely cover the cost to send all three children.
She would have to make top commissions for this to work.
Helen inhaled. John would think the cost was preposterous, but she wanted this, suddenly, more than anything else.
“Since you don’t have enough spots, would it be possible for them to just study the Korean subjects and mathematics? Since they already know English so well. Perhaps pay only two-thirds of the fees. I don’t mean to—”
Tom stopped her. “It doesn’t work that way.
I try not to make a kind of itemized option because students need to learn in a comprehensive way.
There’s English in math if there are word problems, for example, and there’s Korean in English if the student reads about a subject in Korean but discusses it in English.
My instructors are bilingual, but they conduct their classes in English.
I try to integrate a curriculum that’s organic to develop critical thinking.
Our hagwon is more like an experimental school in America.
I wanted to create my own school there, but my wife and I ended up doing so here. ”
Tom knew he should be wrapping up this conversation to go help Clara, but he was warming to his subject.
“You see, a capable child who is sufficiently motivated can memorize and take practice exams. You don’t need us for that.
I’m hoping to help these young people become more independent and thoughtful so they can solve problems, not just predict or be familiar with them.
Solve problems not just in school but in life. ”
Mothers loved their children and wanted their growth, but they also wanted their children to get the best results.
They wanted their money’s worth. However, Tom had seen firsthand too many students who went to the finest schools in the States and Korea.
He had learned a valuable principle of education: Academic performance outcomes could never be the priority.
Sometimes excellent students flopped in college or in life.
Good testing results were often a natural by-product of strong learning and strategic problem solving.
Over and over again, Tom had observed that learning was never linear.
If the students weren’t adaptive, ethical, and resilient, the education might have been pointless.
What Tom knew and felt, he could defend well, so Helen could not help but want more for her children.