Chapter 16 – Alana
Chapter
Sixteen
ALANA
Ilook up and down the familiar hallway, feeling a complicated mix of emotions. Safe, because I know this place so well. I know every dent in the floor, every creak in the stairs. Everything about it, even the way it smells, says home.
But I also can’t help wondering if I even belong here anymore.
It took me a while to settle into LA life, to the mansion that Alejandro and I share in Bel Air.
I genuinely thought that was my home, that anywhere he was would be my home.
But now? I don’t understand anything. This place is my past, he is my future. At least he was supposed to be.
I stifle a tear, tell myself to get a grip. I’ve come all this way, I might as well ring the damn doorbell.
I do exactly that, and a few seconds later it opens.
The face that greets me makes me even more emotional than the apartment building.
God, how I’ve missed those sparkling green eyes and that huge smile.
Kelsey and I are best friends, but I’ve barely even spoken to her since I left for California, and now I realize how much of a mistake that was. I hope she’ll forgive me.
“Alana! What the hell are you doing here?” she shrieks as she throws her arms around my neck and squeezes me tight. I laugh, returning her hug with interest. Looks like she’s forgiven me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
Tears sting my eyes at the thought of telling her why I am here.
At the thought of everything that has gone wrong in such a small space of time.
I sniffle as I pull back from her. “It was a spur of the moment thing,” I say with a shrug.
I don’t have to burden her with it all. I can just pay her a visit, catch up, get Thai takeout and watch TV crashed on her tatty couch like we used to.
“Oh, honey.” Suddenly her face is full of concern. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to fool her. “Come on in and tell Auntie Kelsey everything, including who I have to kill.”
I smile. I have no doubt she means it, but Alejandro would be a hard man to kill, even if I wanted her to.
Which I don’t, of course, because whatever has happened, I still love him with all my poor battered heart.
I follow her into her tiny apartment, the one that is a carbon copy of the one I used to live in a floor down.
I miss my old home, and I miss my new one too.
I feel… homeless. Those tears finally get the better of me.
“Alana,” Kelsey says softly as she guides me to the couch in her living room. “What is it babe? What’s happened?”
I slump down and wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand. “So many things. It’s such a long story, Kels.”
“Well, why don’t I pour us the world’s biggest glass of wine, and you can tell me all about it?” she says with a reassuring smile.
It makes me feel better, against the odds. It’s so good to be here with her. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed her until I was in her company again. And as for it being a long story, well, I wasn’t lying.
I left my life here so fast, I didn’t have time to tell her much.
I also didn’t want her to know that my marriage was a business arrangement, that I hadn’t had a somewhat normal whirlwind romance.
Once Alejandro and I realized how we felt about each other, I meant to come clean and tell her everything.
Then my LA life got big and complicated and moved so quickly.
I was too wrapped up in the shelter, in Lucia, in Alejandro, to reach out.
I feel ashamed of that now. I don’t even know what’s been going on in her life, and I just turn up on her doorstep unannounced, crying?
The fact that she responded with a hug and offers of wine reminds me of how important she is in my life.
I make a silent promise to never lose touch with her again.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called much, Kels.”
“Hey,” she says firmly, passing what is indeed a pretty big glass of red, “that goes both ways, honey. I haven’t called you as much as I should either.
But we are home girls, besties, BFFs forever.
We will always have each other’s backs, and missing a few phone calls is never going to change that.
Besides, you married a fine-ass billionaire and got whisked away to the land of sunshine and surf.
I knew you’d be busy. Anyway. Enough of that.
Why are you here now, and more importantly, why are you crying? ”
An hour later, I’ve told her everything.
I start at the beginning and am brutally honest about what my dad did, basically selling me to the Montoyas in return for cold hard cash.
Kelsey never especially liked my dad. It was the only thing that ever caused any friction between us, and now I realize she was right.
Her instincts were spot on. She’s horrified, but not entirely shocked.
I move on quickly, telling her how the fake marriage soon became something so much more.
How I finally gave both my heart and my body to a man I loved, and who I thought loved me in return.
I tell her about the shelter and my work there, and about Lucia, who I miss already.
Finally, I work up to what happened today.
Our visit to the doctor’s and the aftermath.
It all takes a while, and she’s always on hand with tissues and top-ups of wine whenever I get overwhelmed.
By the time I finish I’m a blotchy-faced mess on her couch, surrounded by used tissues, my feet tucked up beneath me in the comfortable position I’m so used to. She listens to it all and shakes her head when I’m done.
“Wow Alana,” she says. “Sounds like you’ve had some six months, honey.”
I laugh. “You could say that.”
“So… you just jumped on a plane to New York and didn’t tell anyone where you were going?”
I nod. “Yep. I used my own credit card too, because I just really needed to get some distance. For me to remember that I had a life of my own. I sent Lucia a text telling her I needed a few days. She’ll tell Alejandro, and that’s fine.
I know he’ll be worried, but I just couldn’t face talking to him myself.
I still can’t.” I glance at my purse on the side table and think about my cell phone.
It’s been switched off since I sent Lucia that message, and I’m guessing the second I turn it on, I’ll see a million increasingly angry calls from him.
No, that’s not fair. He won’t just be angry, he’ll be worried. Maybe. Who the hell knows? Maybe he listened to his dad and agreed with him. Maybe I’m already yesterday’s news. The idea breaks my heart, no matter how upset I am.
“Do you think I did the wrong thing?” I ask Kelsey. “Should I have stayed and hashed it out?”
Kelsey holds her hands up. “Only you know that, Alana. You were upset. More than upset. You have every right to come here and visit your best friend, any time you like.”
“But?” I can tell from her expression that there’s a “but” coming.
She sucks in a breath and grimaces. “Look, from what you’ve said about Alejandro, he’s not going to be satisfied with you sending a text to your houseguest. Maybe you should give him a call?”
I chew my lip and look at my purse. “I don’t know. I’m still so pissed at him.”
Kelsey nods in agreement. “And you should be, sweetie. Letting his daddy say those things about you is kinda fucked up.”
“But?” I say again. One of the things I usually love most about Kelsey is that she’s open and fair.
She tries to look at all of the angles before making a decision.
But sometimes, like now, I kind of want her just to nod and agree with me.
Naturally enough, she doesn’t, and I know deep down that’s for the best. I didn’t just come here for the wine. I came here because I trust her.
“Well, maybe he did say something to his daddy after you left? Maybe he was just hurting too, taken aback?”
I nod. She makes an irritatingly good point. “I did wait a little while. I was so convinced that he’d tell his father he was wrong. I waited and waited and… nothing. Just his dad, banging on about how useless I was.”
“Well, his dad is clearly a grade-A asshole—but grade-A assholes can sometimes be hard to argue with, you know? Perhaps Alejandro was letting him get it out of his system. I’m not making excuses for him, and believe me, if it turns out he does agree with his dad’s outdated messed-up macho bullshit, I’ll be the first to slap him across the head with my hardback copy of The Handmaid’s Tale… ”
I laugh out loud, which makes a nice change from crying.
She’s not kidding, either. She winks at me and carries on.
“I’m just saying that from everything you’ve told me, he seems to adore you.
Worship you, actually. I doubt that would just switch off so quickly.
So, maybe you should hear him out? You owe yourself that much, never mind him. ”
I nod. “You’re right. Of course. And I will. After I’ve calmed down and don’t feel so goddamn emotional.”
“And you’ve made him sweat for a while?” Kelsey adds with a wicked grin and a flash of her eyebrows.
I lift my wine glass to my lips and grin back.
God, it’s good to be with her again. She has a way of putting everything into perspective.
Without defending him exactly, she’s made me realize that I need to face up to what’s happened, not just run away from it.
“Well, that’s just an added bonus,” I reply.
I don’t know if it’s Kelsey, or the wine, or just being away from all the drama for a minute, but I am feeling a whole lot better about the situation.