Chapter 1 #2
“Oh um, I must leave early, for I have an important affair to attend to. Perhaps next time,” Lord Monteburry replied, clearly making up an excuse to escape the awkwardness of the situation.
Esther’s face burned crimson, but she refused to lower her eyes or shed a tear at the unintended insult.
Lord Monteburry had the grace to look ashamed.
Esther sighed. No one would hold Astrid accountable for what she had just done.
Her father and mother treated Astrid like a princess and never remarked on any of her flaws.
Thus Esther knew that she had no choice but to simply accept that her fate was forever being in her sister’s shadow.
She did not wish to remain with the others a moment longer, so she quietly excused herself and walked away towards an underlit corner of the ballroom.
Her mother simply waved her away as if she were an irritating fly, but Astrid turned and smirked at her in triumph when Esther left.
The corner she chose was deserted but for a few forlorn-looking ladies and a sparse refreshment table.
Esther recognized almost every single one of them since they, too, were deemed unworthy of attention.
They are wallflowers too, just like me, Esther thought, her heart growing heavy.
She longed find a way to escape this monotonous lifestyle.
Waking up every day to sit in a drawing room filled with suitors for her sisters.
Dressing up in these largely unpractical dresses and spending hours trying to look pretty, when in reality she was nothing but plain.
Attending high society parties where no one cared about her existence and going home with a heavy, burdened heart every night.
I must find a man to marry as soon as possible; that is the only way out for me.
The fact that her own family increasingly looked at her as nothing but a burden was becoming tiresome.
The only way to prove to them that she was so much more than a wallflower was to find a potential match as soon as she possibly could.
Marriage was the last hope for a girl like her, and she knew she had to find someone who wouldn’t mind taking a mousy girl like her as a wife.
The only problem was a lack of possible matches.
Her average looks had already acted as a hindrance to her position in the marriage market.
And after two years of being out in society with no suitor, she had developed the reputation of being a boring wallflower.
She searched her mind for any gentleman who might be desperate enough for a wife to overlook her lack of beauty and charm.
The band finished a set, and new couples poured onto the dance floor. Esther looked at the beaming debutantes and the handsome gentlemen flowing effortlessly with the waves of the music. She wished to be out there too, dancing and simply enjoying herself but she was rarely asked.
Why couldn’t a young lady ask a gentleman to dance?
The entire book of etiquettes she had been forced to learn and memorize had been too much to digest. A girl like her wished to be free.
She wanted to do things differently rather than act like a simpleton in this intricately built web of high society pretenses.
Her attention suddenly shifted as she noticed Ingrid walking past her towards the nearby table.
Ingrid was one of Astrid’s friends and just as beautiful and haughty as her sister.
Astrid soon joined her, with two more of her friends, Chelsea and Susan in tow.
“No wonder I am feeling so poorly. I have eaten absolutely nothing since this afternoon.” Esther whispered to herself as she looked over the meager array of cakes and beverages and realized the truth of her statement.
Almack’s was not famous for its refreshments since the thinly cut slices of plain cake were always stale and the lemonade was often weak and almost tasteless.
Despite that, Esther moved closer to the table, glad that she had something occupy herself even if it was as simple as helping herself to refreshments.
She picked up a small glass of lemonade and took a sip when she heard her name mentioned by one of Astrid’s group.
“She was standing there in a dark corner, sulking. The pitiful thing has no one to converse with at such events,” Ingrid said, and Esther took an instinctive step back to shield her presence behind a flower arrangement.
“I feel for her honestly, but this world is only for beautiful women. I mean, Astrid here has a divine face, and she is sure to make a splendid match soon, but who could say that about Esther? I am sure she must have… some admirable qualities, but wealthy gentlemen only wish to have a fine-looking wife,” Susan chimed in.
Esther stood there motionless, the lemonade in her hands forgotten.
How could those girls be so mean? Esther’s heart was left in shambles by their curt remarks.
All four girls finally realized that she was standing just behind them and had probably heard every single word since they all looked up at the exact same instant and stared at her.
She couldn’t even turn away since their hurtful words had truly devastated her.
“Esther is probably destined for a life of spinsterhood,” smirked Chelsea while still looking straight at her.
This plainly showed that despite knowing their words might cause Esther pain, the girls simply didn’t care.
Neither she nor her feelings mattered to them because she wasn’t as lovely as they were.
They were too smug, too beautiful, and secure in their own status to care about other people’s feelings.
The faint hope in Esther’s heart that Astrid might come up to her defense was shattered when Astrid simply laughed without once replying.
Esther knew how important it was to maintain a position in the ton by staying friends with other beautiful, wealthy, and prominent ladies.
Astrid was simply playing her part in society by staying close to the people that mattered and would make her look good in the eyes of others.
Beautiful women stuck together and always acted exactly the same way.
Esther was simply a misfit looking from afar as those around her tread on the path of greatness.