Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Her mother had chosen a pastel green gown for Esther to wear to dinner and Esther made no objections. She had no intention of trying to look beautiful for Fergus and the pale shade of the dress made her look sallow. All the better, she thought.
“How should I style your hair, My Lady?” Ruth asked as Esther sat in front of the mirror. Esther’s brown locks flowed freely past her waist, making her look much younger than her twenty-one years.
“Just something simple, Ruth. I have no need to impress anyone this evening,” Esther answered, sounding resigned.
She watched as Ruth put up her hair in a neat and simple chignon.
Esther was dreading the evening and wished that ladies were permitted to speak their minds.
If it were up to her, she would plainly tell Fergus that she wasn’t interested in his suit.
“All done, My Lady,” Ruth announced stepping away and Esther looked up to stare at her reflection.
She did not smile at her appearance. There was a tightness to her face and her eyes looked dull.
A fear crept into her heart that Fergus might ask for her hand this evening and that her father might agree. The thought froze her blood.
“Thank you,” Esther replied, trying to smile. She turned as a knock was heard at the door. Her mother walked inside without waiting to be called in, and Esther stood up.
“Are you ready, Esther?” Her mother asked, surveying her with a critical eye.
“Yes, Mother,” She replied shortly.
“Why aren’t you wearing any jewelry? I especially left several sets on your dresser for you to choose from,” her mother commented. Esther had seen the jewelry cases but didn’t feel like wearing any of them.
“I don’t need to wear any jewelry,” Esther said, knowing her attempt to refuse her mother was going to be futile.
She watched as Hildred Chapple opened one of the boxes and took out a beautiful diamond necklace from inside it. She walked towards Esther purposefully and placed it on her neck before turning her around to clasp it tightly at the back of her neck.
“See, it looks so beautiful on you,” Hildred said looking at Esther through the mirror. Esther tried to answer or at least smile but it seemed impossible. No matter how hard she tried; she couldn’t pretend to be happy with Fergus courting her.
“I suspect that Fergus will proposed to you this evening, so you must look your best,” her mother continued and Esther’s heart felt as if it would stop beating.
She could never marry Fergus, and she did not know what would happen should she refuse him.
Her father could disown her and force her to leave her home.
Or worse, he could force the marriage. Her mother must have noticed the horror in her eyes because she suddenly started consoling her.
“Fergus may not be the kind of husband you imagined for yourself, but he isn’t a bad man. You might not like the idea right now but you will be content eventually.”
Esther wished she could shout that she did not want to marry a man simply because he was the only one who asked.
She couldn’t stand Fergus, and marriage to him would be nothing but the slow death of her soul.
But Esther knew she couldn’t say any of those things, so she only nodded.
Her mother was a strong-headed woman and wouldn’t tolerate Esther going against her wishes.
“Well, it is time. Fergus has already arrived. He appears to be eager to see you,” Hildred announced when Esther said nothing.
Esther couldn’t understand how her mother could not feel guilty about throwing her in front of a drunkard like Fergus?
She was a worldly woman, and Esther had no doubt that she had noticed everything horrible about him, but despite that, she was ready to allow her daughter to be married to him.
Was she that big a burden to her family?
Esther wished she could sit in her room and cry, but even that was not an option.
They went downstairs and entered the dining room where Lord Hathershire, Fergus, and Astrid were already seated.
Esther greeted Fergus with a tiny nod, and he grinned back at her.
She walked towards her chair and waited for Fergus to stand up to assist her, but he remained seated.
Esther couldn’t help but think what Ian would have done in such a situation.
He would have stood up as soon as she entered the room and pulled out her chair for her before sitting down himself.
Ian was the perfect gentleman, whereas Fergus probably didn’t even know what the word meant.
“How are you, Lady Esther?” Fergus questioned as Esther settled down beside him.
“Fine, and you?” She answered trying to keep her replies as short and stiff as possible. The smell of alcohol was evident on his breath once more and Esther wanted to scream. Was there ever a time when this man was not drunk?
“I am very well. I was just telling your father here about my latest business venture,” he said, and Esther controlled the urge to roll her eyes.
She was well aware of his habit of bragging about himself and readied herself to be subjected to yet another evening of listening to him talk about his greatness.
“How nice,” Esther replied without interest. She didn’t care to ask about the details of whatever this new business venture was.
“I am a very shrewd businessman Lady Esther and only invest my money when I know it will turn out to be a success,” he boasted, acting as if he was the richest man in the room.
Esther’s family was well aware of his financial.
Gossip travelled through London at the speed of lightening, and it was rumored that he had lost his money gambling too heavily.
This was not a trait she wanted in a husband.
“Of course, My Lord,” Esther said. She fixed her attention on her hands with alacrity.
Fergus continued to sing his own praises with very little prompting from anyone, even as they sat at the table. Esther listened as he mentioned various new businesses he was thinking of investing in.
He is probably thinking of starting these businesses after he gets my dowry.
Esther was utterly disgusted. However, listening to him speak about himself wasn’t as excruciatingly painful today as it had been the night of the ball at Willmeade Manor as tonight her family was also being forced to listen to him talk, and their misery somehow made it more tolerable.
“How nice,” Esther said for the thousandth time, having nothing else to say to Fergus. He didn’t even seem to mind the repetition for he was so focused on hearing himself talk. Esther controlled the urge to simply get up and leave.
“You won’t believe what else I have invested in…
” Fergus went on and Esther drifted away from the conversation.
Her thoughts went to Ian and the time the two had spent together at the Egyptian Hall.
She clearly remembered every touch, every word, and every laugh they had shared.
Nothing could compare to the time spent with him and Esther wished it was Ian sitting beside her at dinner instead of Fergus.
If I am to choose between a rake and a drunkard, then the rake it is!
At that moment, she knew that it was better to be with Ian despite his reputation than being trapped in a loveless marriage with Fergus. Ian made her happy like no one had ever before, and if she could picture herself spending the rest of her life with any man, it was definitely Ian.
Esther breathed a sigh of relief as the footmen began to clear the dinner table. They all stood up to return to the parlor, and Esther prayed for Fergus to take his leave. She couldn’t tolerate his presence much longer.
“Lord Dunshire, I was thinking of going to White’s. Why don’t you accompany me?” Esther heard her father say as he addressed Fergus.
Esther’s heart thumped loudly since she did not wish for Fergus to be alone with her father. It probably meant that he would ask for her hand in marriage, and her father would agree.
“Of course, My Lord,” Fergus replied and the men took their leave.
The ladies were left puzzled. It didn’t make any sense for the men to go to the club to converse when they could just retire to the study.
Esther thought at least she had a reprieve for the rest of the evening and tried to take comfort in that.