Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Esther paced about the room, unable to sit still. The fact that Ian would be calling on her to take her for a picnic was enough to make her heart rate race at an abnormally high pace. She had spent way more time than usual dressing and was still not satisfied with how she looked.
“Ruth, I must change immediately. This dress is a disaster; what was I even thinking?” Esther exclaimed.
“My Lady, this dress is one of the finest you own. The color looks exquisite on your skin, and you have never looked more beautiful. Lord Gilbert will be besotted the moment he lays eyes on you.” Ruth tried her best to comfort Esther just as she had been doing for the past fifteen minutes.
Esther paid no heed to Ruth’s words, still wrapped in the anxiety that was gripping her.
Since she and Ian were officially courting now, she must make a good impression on him.
She wanted him to be attracted to her, so he would wish to continue this courtship rather than lose interest in her.
This match with Ian made all her wishes come true, and she couldn’t afford for it to fail.
She went to stand in front of the looking glass, once again surveying her reflection from head to toe.
“I suppose this color does look acceptable on me,” Esther agreed with a sigh, feeling a surge of confidence shoot through her blood.
She slightly thumbed the bracelet she was wearing and noticed how the beads caught the light.
She couldn’t help but smile at the small sparkles that danced in front of her, making her forget her worries momentarily.
“Well, you look calmer now. You look even more beautiful when your face is smiling,” Ruth chimed in with a small laugh, and Esther turned to look at her.
“Thank you Ruth, I appreciate that,” Esther replied.
“I’ll go check if Lord Gilbert has arrived; it is about time,” Ruth said with a smile and walked towards the door of Esther’s bed chamber.
Once she was gone, Esther turned to look at herself again, smiling ear to ear.
She was extremely excited to spend more time with Ian.
They had already been seen together at the Egyptian Hall yesterday and this picnic would show everyone that Ian was indeed courting her seriously.
But can he really be trusted?
A sharp sigh escaped her lips involuntarily. She knew that it was Astrid’s words that had conjured the thought. It was true that he had had a rakish reputation prior to meeting her. It was true that everyone in London knew about his countless affairs, but should Esther judge him over the past?
Every human deserved a second chance, and even rogues and rakes could change and fall in love, if she even dared think that word.
Ian had reformed, he was no longer the same person.
Esther could feel it in her heart. She comforted herself with those thoughts, holding firmly to her faith.
It was the only way to keep her accelerating heartbeat steady.
She knew she couldn’t allow such baseless fears to ruin her day.
Her attention turned towards the door as Ruth entered the bed chamber, trying to make as little noise as possible. Esther looked at her with questioning eyebrows.
“Well?” Esther asked, when Ruth remained adamantly silent, simply staring at her with a small smile dancing on her young face.
“Lord Gilbert just arrived, My Lady,” Ruth answered formally, and Esther couldn’t help but feel a rush of butterflies in her stomach. If his mere name was capable of instilling such a strong sense of delight in her, Esther couldn’t imagine what his actual presence would do to her.
Ian exited his carriage and entered the Hathershire Manor, feeling considerably better than earlier.
What would have Esther thought of him if he had known about his hangover?
She already had to endure Fergus and his half-drunken state that Ian didn’t wish for her to go through that again or compare him to that wastrel.
“Lord Gilbert,” the butler greeted him with a bow, and Ian nodded at him. “Allow me to escort you to the drawing room, My Lord.”
Ian entered the drawing room to find it empty and began to pace about restlessly.
He knew that Esther must be on her way down and he found himself rather impatient to be with her.
It was strange since Ian had never been interested in picnics before.
He was only doing this to make this courtship look as authentic as possible and to make sure that as many members of the ton as possible saw them together.
However, he did not wish for Esther to discover his true intentions.
She was sensitive and would be heart broken.
The doors of the room opened, and Ian quickly turned.
His breath hitched as Esther walked in, looking like a vision in the pale blue dress she wore.
Ian didn’t understand the feeling that suddenly took root in his heart as he laid eyes on the mesmerizing beauty in front of him.
Her hair was loosely tied and soft tendrils framed her face, making her look like an angel who had just descended from the heavens above.
“My Lord,” Esther’s soft voice forced Ian to stop staring at her and he stepped forward to greet her.
He couldn’t believe he had been caught in the act of admiring her but the blush that had creeped onto her cheeks because of it was satisfying.
It made her look even more beautiful than she already was.
“My Lady, you look enchanting this afternoon,” Ian commented, praising her openly. He believed that there was no point in trying to act modestly. Women loved to be admired by other men and envied by women. If he could play a small part in making Esther happy, he would gladly play the role.
“Thank you for the compliment, My Lord. You look very well too,” Esther whispered, averting her gaze as she complimented him back.
It was evident that she hadn’t done this before and was clearly extremely shy about it.
Ian couldn’t help but continue admiring her beauty and innocence.
He knew that such a stare would be deemed scandalous, and Esther’s maid was standing right behind her, but he simply didn’t wish to look away.
The moment was interrupted as the doors opened once again, and both Esther and Ian turned to see Lady Hathershire enter, a huge smile pasted over her face.
Ian never knew how she always managed to look so upbeat.
He was glad that Esther didn’t take after her since he adored her quiet, shy personality.
“Lord Gilbert, welcome to our home once again,” Lady Hathershire greeted him warmly and came to stand in front of him, right beside Esther.
“Thank you, My Lady,” Ian replied with a small bow, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she did.
“I am so pleased about your courtship with Esther, My Lord. When Wilson told me, I was ecstatic. I couldn’t have found someone more well suited to my daughter as you,” Lady Hathershire gushed.
Ian noticed how Esther’s eyebrows had scrunched at her mother’s words, but she made no comment.
Ian knew Lady Hathershire was probably a little upset that Fergus had been so soundly supplanted.
“I am glad you approve, My Lady. Now I believe we must take our leave,” Ian answered, wishing to depart.
“Absolutely. I hope you two have a good time,” she remarked.
“We will, Mother,” Esther chimed in, her voice sounding as soft as rose petals in front of her mother’s more high-pitched tone.
Ian nodded before allowing Esther to lead as she headed out of the room and the two made their way to the carriage silently, closely followed by Ruth.
He helped Esther inside, and Ruth followed in after.
Once all of them were seated comfortably, he signaled the coachman and they were off to Hyde Park.
Ian waited for a little while, wanting Esther to begin the conversation but she simply continued to look outside the window.
Why is she so silent today? Is she not happy with our courtship?
She usually conversed with him very casually but seemed somewhat lost today. He had felt that Esther enjoyed his company, but could he have been wrong? He knew there was no point in dwelling on the unknown and the only way to find out if his suspicions were correct was by directly asking Esther.
“Lady Esther, may I ask you something?” Ian asked, breaking the silence that was weighing heavily inside the carriage.
Esther turned to look at him with a smile before nodding slightly.
“Of course, My Lord,” she answered and turned her complete attention towards Ian. She was seated directly in front of him, and Ian looked her straight in the eyes before asking.
“How do you feel about our courtship?” Ian blurted out. He noticed as Esther’s eyes widened, and she quickly looked away. A small smile decorated her already beautiful face, and Ian had his answer.
“I am very pleased about it, My Lord,” Esther answered, her tone soft.
She was blushing slightly, clearly flustered by Ian’s direct inquisition.
Ian suddenly felt much better. Her happiness was displayed on her face, and her innocent features couldn’t conceal it for even one second.
To her, this was real, and Ian felt a pang of guilt.
She was just another young girl waiting for true love to enter her life, and Ian was doing nothing but shattering her dreams.
Ian knew she was a romantic at heart. He had noticed it in their very first meeting.
His years of experience with women had taught him a lot.
He was feeding her a pretty illusion, a fantasy that was made of nothing but dust. He would never be able to give her the life she wished for, the love she truly deserved.
He suddenly felt that he was far worse than Fergus, because he was marrying Esther based on a lie.
“I am glad you feel that way. I am just as pleased, My Lady,” Ian replied with a smile, brushing away his negative thoughts.
He could not allow guilt to come in the way of his plans. The only thing that mattered right now was his father’s ultimatum, and Esther was the only way he could escape the situation his family had forced him into.