Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Ian couldn’t comprehend the shock that was clearly displayed over Esther’s face.
It seemed Wilson didn’t notice, since he continued congratulating both her and Ian.
But in the past two weeks, Ian had learned to understand every one of her moods and expressions, and it was evident that she wasn’t taking the news well.
“Ian is a gentleman and will be a great husband for you,” Wilson said with a proud glance at both Esther and Ian.
For a minute, Ian thought that Wilson was far happier than Esther was.
There was no hint of a smile on her face, and the blush that usually stained her milky skin after even one single glance at Ian was nowhere in sight.
She was starkly pale, and that disturbed him.
Just then, Ian understood that she was probably shocked because of how the news had been revealed to her so suddenly. She must have walked inside the study expecting nothing of that sort, and Wilson’s announcement had been unexpected.
If Wilson hadn’t insisted on telling Esther himself, Ian would have proposed to her differently.
He would have taken Esther somewhere beautiful where there was no one else but him and her.
He would have sat beside her as he looked into her eyes, and only then would he have asked the important question.
He would have softly whispered the words and waited for that very familiar blush to creep onto her skin.
Esther was the very essence of perfection, and she deserved nothing less than that.
Ian decided that despite this unemotional announcement by Wilson, he would still ask Esther himself.
“You have made me extremely proud, my dear,” Wilson continued, and Ian wished he could roll his eyes.
It had been a quarter-hour since her father had made the announcement, and Esther still didn’t know how to process the news.
She was engaged to Ian, which meant he had come here today with the intention of asking for her hand in marriage.
The simple fact that Ian wanted to marry her was still foreign to Esther.
She simply stood there listening to her father as he continued praising her for the excellent match she had made.
Esther knew that the only reason her father was so proud of her was because of the fact that Ian was a very wealthy marquess and the future heir to a prominent and noble dukedom.
His social status was far above most gentlemen in London society, and a wallflower like her had incredibly managed to make such match.
He was a significant improvement over Fergus, and she knew that both her mother and father would be delighted.
Their daughter would be a future duchess after all.
“My Lord, I must take my leave now. The hour grows late,” Ian said, forcing Esther to come out of her train of thoughts and stare at him.
She sighed silently as she looked at how handsome he was.
The fact that he would be her future husband gave her immense joy, but she had wished for a more personal proposal.
Her father’s announcement had been mechanical and quite sudden, which had made Esther lose her equilibrium.
She was ecstatic but also scared. She was experiencing an array of feelings and she had no idea how to process them any longer.
“You can’t leave now, Ian. Join us for dinner.
After all, your engagement with Esther is a great cause for celebration.
I have sent word to the Gilendale Manor to ask your father and mother to join us for dinner too.
We cannot let this day slide away in insignificance.
This must be the happiest of days for you two,” her father said, and Esther wished to hide.
She wanted to be alone to understand the events of the day.
Everything Beatrice had told her had still not left her thoughts.
On top of that, this news about Ian and her engagement had turned an already confusing day to an absolutely turbulent one.
She had no energy to sit through an entire dinner with Ian and Lord and Lady Gilbert.
She was distressed, and it probably showed on her face, for she noticed Ian was staring at her worriedly.
Esther knew that he understood her moods and was probably wondering why she looked so unhappy over their engagement.
Just then, her mother entered the study, her face turned up into a glowing smile. All three faces turned to look at her.
“Is what I hear true? Are you two truly engaged?” Hildred questioned, her voice high pitched with excitement.
“Yes, my darling, you can congratulate the happy couple,” Wilson announced before either Esther or Ian could utter a word. It was probably for the better since Esther didn’t have the strength to speak.
“Oh, I can’t express how delighted I am! You two have made me the happiest woman in the world,” she exclaimed and walked towards Esther before engulfing her in a huge hug.
“Thank you, Mother,” Esther managed to whisper.
Her mother then walked towards Ian and looked up at his tall frame with a smile.
“Now we are truly family, Lord Gilbert,” Hildred said softly.
Esther knew that her parents were glad for the match.
The Gilbert’s were old family friends, Madeline had married Ian’s cousin, and her father had business with them.
This match was not only prosperous but it also strengthened the position of both families in society.
“We indeed are! I have asked Ian to stay for dinner and have sent word to Lord Gilbert and Lady Gilbert to join us too,” her father stated, and her mother’s expression turned positively horrified.
“When were you going to inform me that we would have guests? I must speak with the cook,” her mother exclaimed, and Esther knew the level of stress she was in. As soon as she heard the news, she turned around to leave the study. Esther, too, decided to leave and turned to look at her father.
“Father, with your permission, I would like to freshen up before dinner. May I go up to my bed chamber?” Esther asked, hoping he would permit it. She needed whatever little time she could get alone.
“Of course, dear.”
Esther breathed a sigh of relief. She turned around to leave the study and made her way to her bed chamber. As soon as she entered the confines of her private space, her heart rate finally calmed down. The relief of being away from her father’s and Ian’s eyes helped her immensely.
“My Lady, is the news that is circulating around the house true? Are you truly engaged?” Ruth’s voice suddenly came from behind Esther, and she turned around to look at her. An excited smile decorated her face. Esther knew that she was probably thrilled for her.
“Yes.” It was the only thing that Esther could say. She laid down on the bed, still fully dressed, the events of the day taking a toll on her. She closed her eyes, willing the headache that was forming to go away.
“Are you well, My Lady?” Ruth asked, her voice getting worried. Esther felt the bed beside her shift as Ruth sat down.
“Just tired,” Esther replied, not wishing to discuss the matter. She had no idea how to explain the situation when everything was still rather unexplainable to her.
“Are you certain? You can always share with me, you know that.” Ruth questioned, and Esther opened her eyes with a smile.
“I know Ruth, thank you for always being here. I am just tired right now,” Esther replied and closed her eyes once again. She had no idea when sleep overtook her.
“My Lady, it is almost time for dinner. You must get up at once,” Ruth’s urgent voice woke her, and she sat up at once.
“What? Oh, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Esther said startled. She had no idea how much time had gone by.
“Yes, you have been asleep for the past hour. The Gilbert’s have arrived, and it is time for dinner,” Ruth informed her.
Esther got up and quickly freshened up and changed into a maroon gown that made her face glow.
She stared at her reflection and couldn’t help but smile.
Once her hair was made up, she descended the stairs.
Voices could be heard from the dining room, and Esther quickly made her way towards the dining room.
As soon as she entered, her eyes immediately found Ian, who was seated right beside her usual spot on the table.
Esther knew that he was probably tired too but still managed to look extremely handsome. He looked effortlessly gorgeous every single day.
“Esther, my dear.” Esther’s attention was turned towards the Duchess as she walked towards her with a beatific smile on her face. Esther couldn’t help but smile back at her as she came and engulfed Esther in a familiar hug.
“Your Grace,” Esther said with a formal curtsey, addressing her respectfully.
“My darling, you look stunning. I can’t explain the extent of my happiness over you becoming my daughter-in -aw.
You and Ian will make the most beautiful couple in all of England, I am certain,” she went on, sounding ecstatic.
Esther blushed at the praise and looked down, unable to meet her eyes.
She suddenly felt very uncomfortable being the center of attention as all eyes, including Ian’s, were focused on her and her alone.
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Esther managed to say.
The Duchess held her hand and walked with her to the table.
Ian immediately stood up as she approached and pulled out her chair for her.
Esther looked at him with a smile. She thought back to when she had sat beside Fergus for dinner, and he hadn’t even made the gesture.
Esther remembered thinking that if Ian were in his place, he would have done it for her, and he had proven it today.
She thanked Ian before sitting down, and Ian sat down beside her.
There was a considerable distance between them, but Esther could still feel his proximity keenly.
The conversation went on all around Esther, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to contribute.
The proposal, the engagement, and everything happening seemed a rushed, and Esther wished that things had happened differently.
She would have wanted a longer courtship.
Ian had never even hinted that he was planning to ask Esther’s hand in marriage, and thus, it had come along unexpectedly.
Did he suddenly ask for my hand in marriage because he saw Lady Lisa last night?
Esther’s heart went somber. She immediately dismissed the idea, knowing she was probably overanalyzing the situation, but she couldn’t help but wonder if Ian was only doing this to make Lisa jealous.
Every single thought perplexed her even further, and she had no idea what to think any longer.
She had spent an a large amount of time with Ian in the last two weeks and the connection they shared could simply not be faked.
Esther was certain that those moments with him had been genuine.
Every single moment mattered to her, and she knew that they mattered to Ian too.
She finally forced herself to believe that Ian at least had feelings for her, although she knew she was completely in love with him.
Ian had no idea what the conversation was that went on around him. His eyes and complete focus had only been on Esther. Since the moment she had walked inside the dining room dressed in the beautiful maroon color, he had been awestruck.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but wonder about the reason behind her worried expression.
He had noticed how she had hardly eaten anything at all, which meant that she was troubled about something.
Ian was sure that the news of their engagement had shocked her, but she looked positively morose about something.
Is she having second thoughts about marrying me?
He did not know what else to believe. He was sure that Esther had feelings for him, thus, it was unreasonable to think that she would not want to marry him.
She is probably just stressed after the tiring day.
He felt as if he was overthinking it. Esther must be happy with the match, just as he and both their families were. They did indeed make a perfect couple.
He decided to dismiss the matter entirely and focus on simply having a good time, but his subconscious continued whispering softly in the back of his mind, causing a sense of guilt to build up in him.
He knew that he needed to inform Esther about his past with Lisa.
She had every right to know. However, he had no idea how he would ever gather the courage to tell her of it.
And then there was the matter of his father’s ultimatum and his initial reasons for marrying her. Though the very thought of confessing something like that made Ian feel sick. He knew he was doomed yet still hoped everything would work in his favor anyway.