Chapter 12
He never should have kissed her.
The truth of the matter was just that. He never should have crossed that line with her. Kissing her was… all that he could think about.
Kaden couldn’t stop remembering the way she had felt against him, her soft lips and the whimper that had left them. It haunted his dreams. The image of her was seared into the back of his eyelids when he stopped moving. She was there over and over again, and he needed a break from it all.
They had an arrangement. It wasn’t as if there was anything else between them at the time. At least, it wasn’t supposed to be. And he had a feeling that if he chose to cross that line again or pushed her too far, he might ruin everything.
Now she was here, and had likely already noted that he hadn’t come down to greet her like custom might have dictated.
It was a business deal for them both; he didn’t need to pretend that he was in love with her.
If anything, the distance would be better for them both to ensure that he remembered himself and his goals.
He glanced down at the papers in front of him, awaiting his responses and signatures, and documents that he was having trouble bringing himself to care about. He needed to schedule time to listen to the plights of his people and do his duties.
With a heavy sigh, he reached for the glass of wine on the corner of his desk and drank deeply.
The light knock at the door was almost a welcome distraction.
“Enter,” he called.
The door creaked open, his sister almost hesitant to come into his space.
“Yer wife has arrived,” Freya announced, instead of a greeting.
“Betrothed,” Kaden corrected.
“For only a few more days.” Freya sighed and closed the door behind her. “Daenae tell me that the term wife still bothers ye.”
“Given that I was the one who proposed marriage to her, I would assume it is safe to say nay.” Kaden started pushing some of the items on his desk around, as if he had been busy doing a lot more than what he had actually been doing.
“Oh, is that what ye would assume?” Freya moved to sit on the worn, padded bench that had to have been in there for longer than he had been alive. She crossed her legs at the ankles and leveled him with a look.
“Ye wanted me to take a wife, and now I will. Daenae tell me that ye’re changing yer mind now,” Kaden huffed.
“Ye have to ken it wasnae so simple as just plucking a lass from a line-up, Braither.”
“Then why daenae ye tell me what it is, because I remember sitting in a council meeting, being told that if I daenae pick a wife, they would attempt to strip me of me title,” Kaden said flatly.
He knew that the words came out colder than he would have otherwise intended, but the whole situation was wrong.
“What choice did I have if I daenae wish to give up father’s lands and everything that he worked for?
What was the point of my—” He broke off, the painful ball of emotion knotting in his throat.
Not something that he would discuss with anyone, let alone his sister.
What was the point of his suffering, of his father’s death—of all of it—if it wasn’t so that he could overcome and take up the mantle of Laird? What was the point of enduring all of that torture, of fighting his way to freedom?
“Kaden… ye can talk about it, ye ken?” Freya coaxed, but he couldn’t look at her. The uncomfortable weight in the air between them made her quickly change the subject. “The point of taking a wife was so that ye could have somebody, so that ye wouldnae be so alone all the time…”
“I have nay issue with being alone.”
“Ye ken a laird needs an heir. Even if they didnae strip ye of yer title now, it would still leave our family.”
“Ye and Skye could just as easily have sons that could take me place.”
“Is that what ye truly wanted?” Freya asked.
Though he had never said it out loud or had the conversation, Kaden couldn’t truly picture himself as a father.
So many years of his life had been spent unsure if he was going to live to see the next day, let alone plan for a future or anything that was going to happen.
He just wanted to do his duties as Laird. He didn’t need all the politics.
“As ye said, I need an heir.” He waved his hand in her direction to imply that she was welcome to take whatever conclusion or meaning that she chose.
“So, this is just a farce, then?”
Kaden’s eyebrow rose. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What did that matter? It was an arrangement, no different than it would have been had his mother picked Emily or anyone else.
“I cannae imagine that the council would approve of that.”
“Ye daenae need to worry yerself about what the council would or wouldnae like, Sister.”
“Ye are going to marry her, are ye nae?”
“Of course I am,” Kaden said, his voice growing sharper with irritation at her interrogation.
“Because if the council thinks that ye are trying to trick them, Kaden, then they very well might—”
Kaden muttered something not meant for a lady’s ears under his breath before looking back at her. “It is none of yer business. I have upheld me end of the bargain and kept me word. Nothing of this should concern ye. Me business is between meself and me soon-to-be wife. That is all.”
“It’s rude to keep her waiting!” Freya protested. “And of course, it is me business! If the council strips ye of yer title—”
“They cannae do that,” Kaden snapped with enough venom that her mouth snapped shut. “I have given everything, everything, to this clan.”
He hadn’t even realized that his hands were balled so tightly that his knuckles popped until he heard the sound. It took even more effort to unclench his hands and jaw.
“I ken that ye have…” Freya’s words were softer now, more cautious.
He couldn’t look at her. He knew what he would see if he did—pity. Pity for the caged animal that he had become over the years, pity for the loss of the brother she had once had. Sadness for having a stranger sitting across from her.
“Ye shouldnae have to be unhappy just to please them.”
“And I daenae see how both things can be true,” he muttered, unsure if he wanted her to actually hear him or not.
It would be simple to inform her that his happiness clearly didn’t matter if this was the conversation they were going to keep having over and over again. But he wasn’t going to spread his unhappiness around.
“Ye could have at least greeted yer betrothed.”
“I’ll see her at dinner.”
“Kaden, that is nay way to start a new relationship,” Freya insisted.
The muscle in his jaw feathered, and he forced himself to swallow down the rest of his discomfort and bitterness.
“Careful, or else I’ll encourage Maither to start looking for a husband for ye sooner. Then, we shall see how ye like to be told how to act.”
Freya rolled her eyes, but his threat had the desired effect, as she rose from her seat and left the room without any further lecture.