Chapter 23 #2
But when Kaden’s finger started to move, she stopped caring entirely about any soul inside the inn besides him and her.
“Aye, that’s me girl. Let me hear ye,” Kaden breathed against her skin.
Slowly, he added a second finger, like he wanted to memorize the way she felt.
A low groan of satisfaction floated through the warm air to her ears as Kaden kissed the inside of her thigh once more, his fingers curling inside her and pressing against a spot that made her see stars behind her eyelids.
Just when she thought that she had started to adjust to the fit and feel of his fingers, his lips lowered to her core, his tongue darting out to flick over the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her legs twitch and threaten to clamp shut on either side of his head.
She could feel him smiling against her skin as his other hand forced her thighs back open. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth chastisingly before flicking his tongue against her once more, licking along her folds down to where his fingers moved inside her and back up again.
She writhed on the bed, unable to keep still under his ministrations. If this was how it felt when they weren’t trying to make a child, just what else was she missing out on? It seemed impossible that it was better than this.
If only he would let her touch him. She wanted to know how to make him fall apart like this.
The pleasure was building higher and higher inside her. She couldn’t see straight any longer.
“K-Kaden,” she breathed.
What she wanted, she wasn’t entirely sure.
More, mercy, something—as much of him as he was willing to give her.
She tried to pull at his shirt so that she might pull him up onto the bed with her.
She wanted to feel him over her, stretching her thighs.
She wanted to kiss him as she had moments ago, when she reached her pinnacle.
She just wanted him.
But no matter how hard she clawed or grasped, he didn’t slow down. If anything, he only doubled his efforts. She barely had strength in her arms, but she tried once more to pull him closer, to touch him. She just wanted to feel his skin under her fingers.
And then climax crashed over her.
The wanton sounds that escaped her were more than indecent. Kaden’s free hand lifted to cover her mouth and muffle the sounds as he chuckled darkly at her utter loss of control.
He didn’t stop until her legs ceased quivering and her breath was coming in deep bursts. Only then did he relent.
As amazing as she felt, there was still a small part of her that wished he would share in the pleasure with her.
There is no part of him that would ever be able to listen to thunder again without thinking of her. How would he ever see lightning and not remember the way she had convulsed on his tongue and fingers?
The storm outside gave no indication that it would die down any time soon.
It seemed that it was only growing in intensity.
No doubt his mother and sisters were worried that the pair of them hadn’t returned to the castle when they were so clearly expected.
But they should have enough common sense to put two and two together. Or so he hoped.
He had always had an affinity for stormy nights. They were the only times that the torture he had endured would let up. It was how he had first learned that the place he had been held in for so many years was attached to the main part of the castle he had been the unwilling guest of.
The guards didn’t want to make the trek in the rain. Never mind that it would get colder and give some palpable relief to his aching joints and muscles. The only thing that cut the insufferable heat from the stuffy Scottish summers.
Now, he had another delicious reason to add to the list.
For the first few months after returning home, every time it had rained, he had forced himself outside just as a reminder that there was nothing and nobody that would ever keep him locked indoors ever again. Not bad weather, not shackles—nothing.
Well, perhaps the half-naked woman still panting beneath him might be a reason to linger indoors a while longer.
Her breathing still hadn’t steadied, even though the tremors in her legs had stopped.
Tempting as it was to feast on her again, he allowed himself to indulge in the sight of her, the curve where her back met her rear.
Her pale, perfect skin, unblemished by scars, unlike his.
Other than a rare few marks that he had yet to question her about, he was looking forward to the day when he felt the freedom to ask her whatever he liked about the marks on her skin and the archery calluses on her hands. He wanted to see her shoot an arrow.
“Will the books that we got today help ye in yer project?” he asked as the tips of his fingers trailed down the curve of her spine.
Emily shifted from where she lay on her belly, her arms curled under her breasts so that she could see him better. “I certainly hope so.”
“What are ye hoping to learn from them?” Kaden asked with genuine curiosity.
He always envied those who liked reading that much. He thought he might have liked reading as a child, but now he couldn’t allow himself the mental space to relax enough to enjoy a book. It was hard enough to focus on the battle reports he had to read.
“Usually, when somebody finds out that I wish to write, their questions are filled with pure sarcasm or derision.”
Kaden was confused. “Are ye accusing me?”
“Nay, quite the opposite, actually,” Emily said as she pushed herself up slightly. “Ye seem to truly want to ken. I must thank ye for that.”
Kaden wasn’t entirely certain what to say to that.
Thankfully, Emily continued speaking. “I am hoping to learn more about the trade agreements and land disputes. I hope it will give better insight into conflict resolution for the next chapter in me book. As ye ken, lairds tend to want things to go their own way.”
Kaden almost laughed at that. “Aye, better than most, I would reckon.”
Absently, he scratched the scars on his thigh, the familiar phantom itch irritating him like it so often did.
It hadn’t been an easy thing to get accustomed to when he had stepped into his father’s role.
He had made more than a handful of mistakes that he liked to think he had learned from, but perhaps he was being foolish.
Silence fell between them, and Emily took the moment to nuzzle up to him, her arm curled on the center of his chest, her fingers tracing lazy patterns over his shirt.
“Ye daenae have to stay covered all the time, ye ken?” she whispered, as if she was afraid that he would take her words the wrong way.
Kaden just didn’t know what to say to that.
“I willnae think any less of ye,” she added.
But the knot of apprehension in his chest only tightened at her words.
He didn’t know if that was something he would ever be comfortable with.
Of course, they would have to be together as man and wife at some point or another.
But when she saw his scars, there were not only going to be questions, but she would also look at him with pity or horror. There could be no other emotion.
Every single person who had seen the extent of his scars had the same reaction. Sure, she might not think that she would be affected by it, but she was only human.
Emily lifted her head for a moment to see him better, almost waiting for him to answer or to give her permission to look or assurance that he would be comfortable with her in the future, but that just wasn’t something he was going to be able to promise.
She turned her focus to the crackling fire, the little sparks that flew up each time a drop of water trickled down the chimney. Kaden wrapped his arms around her tighter and didn’t let go of her, even when he felt her breathing even out as sleep stole her away.
He was getting far too in over his head.
It took the better part of the following day to get back to the castle.
With the way things had been left last night, conversation between the two of them was nonexistent.
They were practically following the wagon delivering her books and the other goods they had ordered back up to the keep.
The roads were muddy and made travel more difficult.
It was such a strange thing to feel closer to Kaden in some ways but more distant in others.
Could she just come out and ask him why she wasn’t able to touch him?
She could feel the heat of his chest against her back at this very moment, and the contact was just fine.
So why wasn’t anything else? Had she made that big of a mistake the first time she had attempted to run her fingers over his scarred skin?
She was grateful when the walls of the castle came into view, however.
It didn’t quite feel like home to her yet, but she was excited to see Maggie.
She was even more excited to run up to her rooms and get lost in her new books.
At least that way, she could put Kaden and their night together out of her mind.
The hot and cold attitude was making her dizzy.
They were met at the doors of the castle by a few servants. Kaden slid off the back of his horse easily and then reached for her waist. She didn’t even have time to think about it before he lifted her off the horse and set her down on her feet. His hand wasn’t quick to leave her waist either.
“Welcome home, me Laird,” a lad said as he took the reins from Kaden and handed them to the stable boy beside him. “Hope the storm didnae give ye too much trouble.”
Kaden shook his head, his fingers lifting from Emily’s waist one at a time. “Nothing to worry about.”
“We finished making the changes to yer wing that ye requested while ye were out,” the lad added.
Emily turned to look up at Kaden, who now had a ghost of a smirk on his face that she didn’t much like the look of.
“Perfect. I’ll show Her Ladyship up there promptly.” He took her hand and tucked it in the crook of his elbow, as if he were pretending to be a gentleman of some sort.
Under any other circumstances, it would have been funny.
“Take me where?”
“I had our rooms moved, as we spoke about,” Kaden said, referencing a conversation that he must have had mainly in his own head.
“I daenae ken what ye mean,” Emily protested, walking with him as slowly as possible.
“Nae everything is a trap, lass,” Kaden said, with a teasing lilt in his voice.
“Well, it seems that almost every time ye say one thing, ye mean another,” Emily muttered, unsure if she wanted him to hear and answer. But she was grateful that he didn’t say anything.
In only a moment, they were in the hallway that led to Kaden’s room.
Emily’s heart skipped a beat. While it wasn’t exactly far from the room he had given her, this wasn’t somewhere she had ever chosen to go. When they were married, they would have a shared chamber, but she hadn’t expected to be brought here for at least a year.
But Kaden didn’t stop at the end of the hall like she had been expecting him to.
Instead, he stopped about halfway down before another door that she would have never looked twice at.
He released her so that he could unlock the door and push it open.
He held out the key for her to take, and she accepted it warily.
Maggie’s happy barking greeted her before she could dwell on what the key meant. The little white fluff ball came bounding out giddily and ran in small circles around their feet.
Emily stooped to scoop up the wriggling pup. Maggie happily started to lick their faces and whatever else she could reach.
Kaden took a step back and into the semidarkness of the room, and Emily had no choice but to follow him.
The room that she found herself in was stunning.
The smell of books and parchment was nearly overwhelming.
All the books that she had been referencing in the library were waiting there for her on the massive desk, along with her notes, fresh rolls of paper, inkpots, and quills.
The newest books that they had ordered in the village stood in piles near the door.
They hadn’t had time to shelve them for her, but she didn’t mind in the slightest.
The bedding looked freshly turned and comfortable, but the bed was no longer the focal point of the room. Her wardrobe, vanity, and bed had been pushed into one corner to be more functional than decorative, just the way she would have done. The room was more of a study than anything else.
Emily didn’t know what to say.
Kaden moved to the door on the left side of the room and pushed it open. “This one adjoins me bedroom. Should ye ever need anything… or wish to join me.”
Perhaps she was delusional, but it almost looked like he was blushing as he said it.
Was he waiting to hear her thoughts about the room? Joining him in his room was the last thing she could think of doing at a moment like this.
“The room is lovely, thank ye. But me previous room was perfectly suitable,” she said softly.
She wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings, but she didn’t understand the need for the move. She just wished that he would make up his mind.
“I just thought…” Kaden trailed off. “Never mind.” Whatever softness or vulnerability he had shown promptly vanished. “This will be best for the image that we must present.”
All Emily could do was nod her head. “Alright, then.”
Kaden turned to leave through the door that connected their rooms. “We can have a good life together.”
Who was he attempting to convince, her or himself?
If he kept up the hot and cold attitude, she wasn’t so certain that it would be the case.
“I suppose that we will have to wait and see.”