Chapter 10
Skye hadn’t slept, and breakfast held no appeal either, so she wandered the castle instead, trailing her fingers along the portraits lining the corridor, stern-faced ancestors who’d likely never once questioned their place in a castle like this one, never once had to wonder if they belonged.
Every time she tried to think about eating, her stomach would twist in protest. The last thing it wanted was food after the argument she and Dougal had.
Skye remembered how she had felt when he pleasured her, how good he had made her feel. But then he had looked at her with such coldness. All the warmth he had previously shown her was gone, abandoned for the rage he felt over her words.
A crash sounded ahead. She followed it to find Lily kneeling on the floor in the kitchens, scolding a small black kitten with great seriousness, one hand on her hip in an uncanny imitation of someone older.
It was a sight to see, that was for sure.
Skye watched her, smiling to herself. The girl was adorable and just as lively as she had been last night during dinner.
“Ye cannae just knock things over because ye want attention, Blossom. It isnae proper, and Da will be cross with both of us.”
“I think she heard ye,” Skye said, stepping into the room. “She looks thoroughly ashamed of herself.”
The cat almost ducked her head, refusing to look her mistress in the eye. She understood that what she had done was wrong and accepted whatever punishment was coming her way.
Lily brightened instantly at the sight of her. “She isnae. She never is, no matter what I say.”
“Then perhaps she needs convincing. What if we found her something better to do with all that energy? Something a little mischievous.”
Lily’s eyes went wide with delight. She leaned closer to Skye, wanting to hear what she had to say about expending all that excess energy. “Like what?”
“Do you have any ideas?” Skye asked, smiling.
“How about sneaking down to the kitchens for sweets and milk for Blossom?”
Skye had to laugh at her sweet innocence.
It was something she had done as a young girl—sneaking down to the kitchen to take as many sweets as she could carry.
She would use the skirt of her dress to carry them if she happened to take too many.
Once, Freya had caught her and promised not to tell, but only if she gave her half of what she had taken.
Skye had not wanted to get caught, so she had had no choice but to fork over half of her sweets, glaring at Freya with every piece she slid into her open palms. She had gotten her sister back later that same month, taking a few of her precious sweets that their father had brought back from a trip.
Freya had decided right then and there that they would call a truce.
No point in punishing themselves or each other.
“We’d get caught,” Lily argued. “But sweets do sound so good… Do ye really think we can do it?”
“Only if we’re careless.” Skye grinned, then lowered her voice to a conspirator’s whisper. “Are ye careless? I can teach ye to be careful if ye like. I was able to sneak quite a few sweets from me kitchen when I was a wee lass like ye.”
“I am nae careless!Never!” Lily cried. “We can be careful!”
Skye slipped her hand into Lily’s, allowing the little girl to lead her to the kitchens.
Despite how loud Lily could get, she quieted the moment they were in the kitchens. She knew exactly how silent to be and when the moment called for it.
Predictably, they were careless. They were nearly back to Lily’s room, their arms full of stolen treasure, when a deep voice stopped them cold in the corridor.
Skye’s heart lurched. It was a voice she had hoped to avoid for most of the day. The argument from last night rushed back to her mind.
She was still cross about what Dougal had said. He likely felt the same. He did not seem like the type of man to easily let go of a grudge, no matter how many times the other person apologized.
“Did someone dare steal from their Laird?”
Both of them froze for a moment, then Lily recovered first, giggling helplessly. “We borrowed, Da! I promise we didnae steal anything.”
Dougal’s eyebrow rose, slow and deliberate. “And how exactly did the two of ye plan to return eaten goods once they’ve been eaten?”
He was smiling, his attention entirely focused on her. He was doing a good job of ignoring Skye. It hurt her more than she thought it would.
“We hoped ye wouldnae be too cross, me Laird,” she said, lifting her chin in open challenge.
This time, Dougal did look into her eyes, but his smile had vanished. His expression was unreadable, partly because the mask hid half of his face, and also because he never let much show.
“Ah, did our hospitality nae satisfy ye, me Lady?” he drawled.
“I think Skye will make ye read or write something, Da,” Lily announced solemnly, sounding much older. “That’s what me governess does when she gives me that very look. Thank goodness I’m done with lessons for the day!”
Then she bolted to her room before either adult could respond, her kitten tucked under one arm.
Skye held her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Lily was certainly full of energy, even more than some of the younger children she knew. The little one was a breath of fresh air and brought life to the castle, which Skye could see plainly.
She turned to follow her, but Dougal caught her arm gently. “Will ye nae make me read or write, lass?”
Skye wrenched her arm from his grasp, wanting no part of him to touch her, even though the moment he reached for her arm, a shiver ran through her, a reminder of the pleasure he had brought her in the drawing room.
Her eyes fell to his lips, before she looked away, blushing furiously. She had specifically told him no kissing, and yet here she was, letting her mind stray.
“Is this some sort of jest?” she asked seriously.
After their conversation last night, she couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t toying with her. The anger was still there. Dougal was choosing to let her see it because he wanted her to know.
“Nay. I only wished to thank ye. I havenae heard Lily giggle so recklessly in longer than I can remember.”
Skye frowned. She understood what Dougal was telling her, but it was also difficult to wrap her mind around.
“But she’s a child. She should be allowed to giggle recklessly every single day without anyone watching to make her feel small for it.”
“’Tis hard to be a child when?—”
“Ye’re someone’s secret,” she finished quietly, watching the words land.
Their conversation was now impossible to forget. She felt partly foolish for her words, speaking of things she clearly did not understand. But Lily had the right to run around, be happy, and laugh. She was but a child, and for that short time in one’s life, it was a chance to be free.
Dougal reached out and grabbed her arm again. This time, his grip tightened slightly, pulling her a half-step closer. “She isnae a secret. Her safety was entrusted to me, and I’m doing me best by her. Ye need to understand that.”
“And failing at everything else. What will her memories even be by the time she’s grown?” she challenged, unable to stop herself. “I understand yer need to protect her. She is a precious child, but she cannae stay within these walls forever.”
Dougal had no answer for that. He released her arm, before turning and leaving in an angry huff.
Skye stared after him, her chest tight with frustration that she couldn’t entirely explain, not even to herself. It was not her place to question how he raised the girl, not really, and yet she couldn’t shake the image of Lily hidden behind these four walls.
It was for her protection, Dougal had told her. He likely believed it, but he might be doing more damage than he realized.
Skye leaned against the wall, pressing her hand against the cool stone. Her heart was still pounding hard in her chest. It was just like last night.
She hadn’t meant to push so hard. Hadn’t meant to dig at wounds that were clearly still raw and tender.
Shaking her head, she decided she was going to go back to her room for now. She had done enough, and another interaction with Dougal would only end in disaster.