Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
BARRETT
My tie is off center. I face the mirror and see the green and white striped fabric twisted like a twelve-year-old put it on.
It makes wonder if Huxley knows how to tie a tie. An image pops in my mind of us standing in front of a mirror and me showing him how to do it. I can’t help but grin at the idea and the realization that the concept makes me happy.
Heaving a breath, I force myself to concentrate on getting myself presentable for another day at the office. It’s early, a little past six, and I haven’t slept. I’d hoped the bourbon would assist in that effort, but it didn’t.
My phone was in my hand as much as it wasn’t all night. I wanted to call her, to plead my case, to tell her how I’d do anything to fix the pain she felt yesterday. Then I got pissed off that this happened, from my staff, no less, and the fury coursed through me until I was exhausted.
Even though it killed me, I didn’t call her. She said she needed space and I need to give her that. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, played by a woman’s rules.
I grab my briefcase off my desk and see a text from Troy that he’s outside waiting on me. Before I get through the doorway, my phone rings in my hand. When I see it’s her, I drop my briefcase to the floor.
“Hey,” I say, my heart thumping in my chest.
“Hey,” she whispers. Her voice is heavy, sleepy like mine, and I wonder if she’s slept at all.
“How are you?”
“Okay.”
I wait for her to talk, to navigate this conversation because I don’t want to steer it the wrong way from the get-go.
The silence kills me and I want to ramble a million different things, go into a word vomit, a speech of epic proportions on how I just want to fix this fuck-up.
But I hold myself back. For the first time maybe in my life, I keep quiet.
“I hope I’m not calling you too early,” she says finally. The roughness in her voice is a clear sign that she’s been crying, and that’s like a punch to the gut.
“I haven’t been to sleep yet,” I admit.
“Me either.”
“So I guess I could’ve called you at two a.m. when my finger was hovering over the call button?”
Her giggle through the phone is mixed with a sigh and it makes me smile and frown at the same time.
“I hate this,” I say, wishing I could reach out and hold her.
“Me too.”
The line goes quiet. Her breathing gets heavy and I know she’s trying to decide how to approach whatever is on her mind.
“I took Hux for ice cream last night. I looked over my shoulder the entire time, Barrett.”
“Did anything happen?” I ask, holding my breath.
“No, it didn’t. We were fine.”
“It will be fine,” I assure her. “I won’t let it be anything but fine.”
“This could end so badly for me and Hux.”
“But it could be amazing too. If you would just trust me and just—”
“You’re right.”
A lump appears in my throat and I have to squeeze the words out around it. “I am? I mean, I know I am. But you think so?”
“When you left last night and things were so ... broken, something felt broken inside of me. I feel like all the colors of the rainbow are there when we’re together. Does that make sense?”
“Absolutely.”
“When I agreed to get involved with you, I did it knowing all the ways it could go wrong. I did it knowing you’d never intentionally hurt me, and at the end of the day, that’s what Hayden did. He hurt me on purpose. He didn’t give a single fuck about how his actions were going to affect me.”
“I would never do—”
“Barrett,” she interrupts. “Let me finish.”
“Sorry.”
She laughs. “I know you’d never do that. And I know there are things you aren’t going to be able to control. But if I want to be with you, I have to realize that and not hold it against you.”
“Damn it, Ali—”
“Ali?” she giggles. “You’ve never called me that before.”
“If Linc is calling you Ali, so am I.”
She laughs full-on now and it’s music to my ears.
“So does this mean you forgive me?” I ask, hopeful.
“It means I don’t have anything to forgive you for. Do I like what happened? No. But as long as I know what’s real between us, I can’t care what everyone else thinks. I can’t let my fear hold me back. My insecurities are my problems to work through, not yours.”
“I’ll be right by your side holding your hand,” I promise.
She doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t have to.
“Hey,” I say, picking up my briefcase and heading to the car. “Does Hux know how to tie a tie?”
“No. What a weird question. Why are you asking?”
I laugh, shutting the door behind me and jogging toward the Rover. “No reason. Can I see you tonight?”
“You better.”
***
ALISON
I pull my raggedy red robe around me and tie it snugly.
It’s my favorite, and most beat-up, piece of clothing but I needed it last night when I felt like my life might be breaking apart.
Now, after talking to Barrett a little while ago, my heart feels like it’s been glued back together, my hopes and dreams still intact.
I’m not even sure what those dreams consist of, exactly, besides having Barrett in our lives.
I sing a little ditty from when I was a child softly until Huxley’s eyes flutter open. He stretches and yawns, his sweet, sleepy smell making me smile harder.
He follows me to the kitchen where I have a plate of sausage links and a scrambled egg waiting on him.
“Wow, what happened to cereal?” he asks.
“What? You’d rather have a box of marshmallows?”
“No,” he yawns, sitting down to dig in. “It’s just ... weird. You aren’t a morning person, you know.”
“I know, buddy.” I hum a little tune and put the skillet in the sink when the doorbell rings. I look up at Hux who’s looking at me. “I’ll be right back. Grandma must’ve gotten her days mixed up.”
Hux stuffs an entire sausage link in his mouth as a reply.
I pad down the hallway and pull the door open. When I see Barrett on the other side, my hand flies to my mouth.
He looks divine in his crisp grey suit and tie. His watch sparkles in the early morning sunlight, but it’s outshone by his beautiful eyes which are looking at me.
The lips I love to kiss, love to hear form words in my ear, are pressed together in an undeniable smirk. He watches me for a minute before reaching for me and I fall into his arms.
Holding me with one hand, he steps inside and closes the door quietly behind him.
“I missed you,” he whispers in my ear.
“What are you doing here?” I can’t keep the amazement out of my voice, even though I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. Seeing him first thing, before the world has a chance to ruin our day, makes me happier than I could ever tell him.
“I needed to see you.”
“Don’t you have a million things to do?” I try to say as he kisses my lips, little taps in quick succession. I giggle as the last peck sinks deeper into my lips and I find my hands wrapping around his neck and pulling him into me.
“Mom, are you okay?” Hux shouts from the kitchen.
I pull back and laugh, resting my head on Barrett’s chest. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll be right there.”
Barrett nuzzles me against him, brushing my hair back with one of his large hands. “God, I needed this.”
“You have no idea how much I needed it too.”
“You look adorable in this robe,” he grins.
I glance down at my clothing and grimace. “I can’t believe I’m letting you see me in this!”
“Stop,” he winks. “I want this.”
“My holey robe?”
“Yes. And your morning rush with Huxley and your out-of-bed hair. I want it all, baby.”
Grinning wildly, I start to comment without swooning, but I hear the sound of Hux’s feet coming down the hallway. I feel Barrett tense, a nervous energy passing between us.
Turning to see Huxley coming towards us, I smile. “Hey, buddy. Barrett came to say good morning.”
“Hey,” my son says, giving Barrett a little wave.
“How are you?” Barrett asks him.
“Good. I was just, um, checking on my mom.”
Barrett’s face breaks into a smile as he steps towards Hux and stretches his hand. “You’re a good man, Hux.”
Hux beams, obviously liking being treated like a man, and shakes Barrett’s hand. “Want some breakfast? Mom actually made food today.”
“Did she?” He leans close to Hux and whispers, but loud enough for me to hear. “Did she sing while she made it?”
It’s some kind of joke between them, I can tell, but I have no idea what it means. I raise my brows and they both laugh.
“I was asleep. But she doesn’t make food in the morning, so I’m guessing yes.”
“That’s a good thing.” Turning to me, Barrett’s face sobers a bit. “I hate to run, but I have a meeting in about twenty minutes. Troy’s going to have to drive like a bat out of hell to get me there the way it is.”
“Go,” I insist, shooing him towards the door. “But thank you for coming by today.”
He watches me, wanting to kiss me but not sure if he should do it in front of Huxley. “Thank you for letting me.”
“You can come here anytime,” Huxley says. “But I’m going to go back in the kitchen now in case you’re going to kiss her because I don’t want to see that.”
We laugh as he salutes Barrett and zooms back to the kitchen and out of sight.
“I like him,” Barrett says, pulling me into him. He kisses me sweetly again, making me melt under his touch. “I still get to see you tonight right?”
“I was counting on it.”
I kiss him one last time before he walks out the door.
My spirits soar and I walk to the kitchen like I’m walking on air. Huxley is putting his empty plate in the sink. He scratches his head, his morning hair wild. “He makes you happy, huh?”
“He does. But only if you like him.”
He looks at me in a way that reminds me of Hayden.
It’s a careful look, calculating, and at another time in my life, my heart would have tugged in my chest. I would’ve thought back to a life we could’ve had and to all the things that went wrong.
But today, I don’t go there. I’m too worried about the life that we can have, to all the things that just might go right if we’re lucky.
“I like him,” Hux announces simply.
Laughing, I amble towards my son and pull him into a hug. “I love you, Hux.”
“I love you, Mom.”