Chapter 10
TEN
FORD
Running the towel over my head, I toss it in the sink. The charcoal grey linen drops into the bowl as Trigger’s yawn echoes through the marbled room. The yellow lab lies in the corner, curled up on a burgundy rug that I paid way too much for but knew she’d love.
I lean against the counter and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is sticking every which way from the shower, my eyes wide awake despite having been up far too long.
It’s nearly two in the morning and I’m not closer to sleep now than I was hours ago.
I’ve tried working myself out until muscle failure, pouring over security plans for Landry Security, shooting the shit with Sienna over tacos that she brought over under the guise of being bored.
I know she was searching for gossip. I gave her nothing.
There’s this crazy feeling in the pit of my stomach like something big has happened. Like I scored tickets to watch my favorite band perform in a sold-out concert or I beat my record five-mile time.
My cock comes back to life as soon as I close my eyes and see her face. Her head tipped back, the sexy-as-fuck sounds emitting from her throat as she gave me full access to her sinful body.
“I have to figure this girl out,” I tell Trigger. “Want to give me some tips?”
She opens one eye and closes it again.
“Come on. Just one. Give me one thing that will win her over.”
This time, only her mouth opens to yawn.
“You’re a terrible best friend.”
Rubbing her behind her ears, I flip off the light and pad down the hallway. Pictures of my family, of friends from the military, and some photos I took around the world hang on the walls.
My house is unlike my brothers’. Whereas theirs are modern and sleek, some of them elegant and sophisticated, mine is comfortable.
Sure, I have marble counters and state-of-the-art sound systems and things like that, I also have a pool table in the living room.
A hot tub on the back deck. A basement with a full exercise room and sauna.
Venturing into my bedroom, I flop on the chocolate-colored blanket. Closing my eyes, I wonder what it would feel like to have Ellie here.
I imagine feeling her next to me, hearing her sing in the shower, smelling her coffee in the morning before I wake up. I wonder if she’s as messy as she used to be and if she still likes to eat breakfast in bed.
Trigger waltzes in and curls up in the corner. Before she can get too comfy, I give her a warning.
“Better get used to the idea of having another woman around here,” I tell her, slipping under the covers. “Come hell or high water, I’m going to make her mine again. Just you wait and see.”
***
ELLIE
I haven’t seen one-thirty in the morning in a long time.
Stretched out on the couch, a fleece blanket pulled on top of me, I flip through the endless stream of channels on the television.
“Over a thousand channels and not a thing to watch,” I groan.
I wonder vaguely if that’s true or if I’m so preoccupied that I can’t get engrossed in anything except the one infomercial about the copper pots. I really kind of want those.
A man comes on the screen with light-colored hair and wide shoulders, and that’s all it takes to zap me wide awake again. It’s not Ford, obviously, but it’s close enough to cause my mind to jump back into overdrive.
My body is still charged, singing his praises every time I brush my legs together or clench my belly. That delicious pull from a good, hard orgasm still sits in my gut.
I’d forgotten what that felt like. I can’t remember the last guy to make me completely lose control like that, to completely wipe away every thought but the feelings exploding inside you. That’s how I felt tonight.
I close my eyes and instantly see his face. Not the Ford now, but the Ford then. He was so cute with his cheeky grin and athlete’s body. I adored him on the verge of infatuation. That’s why it hurt so much. That’s why it was so devastating.
Losing him almost made me lose me. Only by a stroke of luck did I land in Florida and only with a few lucky breaks was I able to make it through school. If for no other reason than I was determined to make something of myself to spite him. I did that. And so much more.
In a roundabout way, Ford may be the person to thank for making me the woman I am. Clearly it wasn’t intentional. But the successes in my life are spurred by the need to never be a burden to someone and never have to rely on someone … and that’s because of him.
Maybe having him walk away was more hurtful because I was young and didn’t understand life. Or, maybe it was just due to him being my first love. Either way, it goes to show that there will always be something special about Ford that complicates things to a degree that’s almost lethal.
That’s why I can’t do it again.