Chapter 6
SIX
PAIGE
“Do you ever sit still?” Kinsley Clayton throws a piece of popcorn at me. “You just roam around like a … I was going to say a mountain goat, but I don’t know if they roam.”
I snort. “I don’t know either, but that’s a bad analogy anyway. They’re so ugly.”
“True.” She pops a handful of the cheesy snack in her mouth. “So did you ever hear from Marcie about the whole eviction thing? Has she called you or anything?”
I sit down on the couch beside Kinsley.
It’s been over twenty-four hours since I was forced out of the apartment, and I haven’t heard a word from our mutual friend.
“Nope. I’ve literally heard nothing. No call back, no texts—nothing.” I frown. “I called her mom this morning to just … I don’t know. A welfare check, I guess. She said Marcie was in the shower, and she’d tell her that I called.”
Kinsley frowns too. “I guess she’s okay at least, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you pissed? I’d be pissed. I’d be so freaking mad that I couldn’t see straight.”
I think about it. Am I mad? Not really. Should I be? Maybe.
“Want anything else to drink?” she asks as she climbs off the chair wedged between the sofa and the wall. “I need another water.”
“Nope. I’m good.”
She walks across the tiny living room and into the even smaller kitchen. Then she pulls a drink from the freakishly small refrigerator that somehow meets her needs.
“What can you keep in there? A water bottle and cheese stick?” I ask.
She laughs and flops back on the chair, her legs dangling over the side. “Basically. But it beats going back to my parents’ house and admitting that moving in with Josh was a bad idea. That’s a lot of crow to eat.”
It is a lot of crow to eat. Kinsley’s parents never liked Josh, so when Kinsley said she was moving in with her boyfriend after only two months, they weren’t happy at all.
Josh the Jerk, as he’s now known, was an even worse roommate than Marcie.
And a douche for dumping Kinsley about six months after she moved in.
The sun begins to set, casting shadows across the walls of Kinsley’s apartment. We spent the day looking for apartments and making appointments to see them. All in all, it was fun.
“You know, I’m not mad,” I say, having had a moment to think it through. “I think I’m more worried about Marcie than anything. Like what was she doing with the money I was giving her for rent? Is she in some kind of trouble? Did I miss a sign somewhere?” I pause. “Will I ever know?”
“I get that. It’s a good take on it. A very Paige take on it.” She smiles. “And how can you be mad when you get to stay with Nate?”
She flops her head back as if she’s going to replay a dramatic movie scene but bops her head on the wall instead. We both laugh.
“How’s that going?” she asks.
“Fine. I mean, do I lie awake at night and listen for him? Yes. Am I waiting to catch him fresh out of the shower with a towel around his waist? Also yes.” I giggle.
“But, no, things are going fine. I got there super late last night, as you know, and I felt a little bad about that once I got there.”
“I kept telling you to leave the bookstore! How many times did I text you that?”
I roll my eyes. “I know. I know. I just … internally, I’m not quite the confident bitch that I lead people to believe I am.”
Kinsley eats another handful of popcorn, her eyes crinkled at the corners.
“So you basically thought twice about stripping down in his office and inviting yourself to his house and felt a little embarrassed by that? I mean, that tracks.”
“Don’t put it like that. Damn.” I laugh. “That makes me sound like a hussy.”
“You are a hussy.”
“I’m a virgin, Kins. I can’t be a hussy. It’s the exact opposite of the definition.”
She furrows her brow. “There’s a definition for hussy?”
“There has to be. It’s a word.”
“Huh. I guess you’re right. It’s just funny to think that you can look up a word like that and find an actual definition. Like somebody, somewhere had to sit down and type it out.”
I stretch out, wiggling my toes, and yawn.
I could curl up and close my eyes and fall asleep. All I’d need is a blanket. But if I do that, I’ll be up in a couple of hours because my neck is tweaked from the couch, and then I’d have to roll into Nate’s late. Again.
Yeah. No, thanks.
“Did you sign up for classes this semester?” I ask Kinsley.
“Yeah. Get this—I have biology, a bio lab, chemistry, a chem lab, a math class, and a physical therapy class of some sort. I’m going to die.”
“You know, I like to be optimistic about most things but yeah. I think you might die.”
She whimpers. “Why did I take three years off between high school and college? What a mistake that was.”
“Well, I didn’t go straight there either. So …”
She grins. “What classes did you end up getting? I know you were debating how many hours to carry this semester.”
I stand, afraid of getting too cozy, and stretch again.
“I ended up with twelve hours, which is just enough,” I say. “I promised my parents I’d go full time because they seem to think I’d take half of the classes, screw off the other hours of the day, and then end up thirty with no degree and no job.”
“Because they know you.”
“Maybe.” I smile. “I really think it’s because Maddox partied his way through school, and they’re worried I’ll follow suit. Even though I don’t party.”
As if summoned by the use of his name, my phone chirps with a text alert. I look at the screen.
Maddox: What’s the password to Mom’s account?
I laugh as I type out my response.
Me: Why would I tell you that?
Maddox: Because I need it. Now give it to me.
Me: What are you going to do with it?
Maddox: None of your business.
Me: I have the password, so I’m making it my business.
I don’t really care what he’s doing with it. I just can’t give in too easily. Gotta make him work for it.
Maddox: Fine. I was going to send you a present. You ruined the surprise.
I laugh. “Lies.”
Me: Make it new shoes. Black ones.
Maddox: I’ll send two pairs.
Me: It’s 0310abc
Maddox: Is that 0310 for March 10th? Your birthday?
Me: Maybe.
Maddox: Why is it never my birthday? *pleading face emoji*
Me: Because she loves me more.
Maddox: Bye.
I shove the phone in my pocket. “Sorry about that. Maddox needed Mom’s password.”
“Did you give it to him?”
“Yeah. He’s probably trying to get a movie pulled up for Dad. My parents can’t operate their electronics.”
I get to my feet and take the five steps to the door. “I need to get going. Want to check out those two apartments with me tomorrow?”
“If I get out of work. I’m supposed to have a half-day, but we’ll see how that works out. If it’s Polly coming in for me, I’ll be there until close. I love that for me.”
That sucks. She has to pick up Polly’s shifts all the time. “Well, let me know.”
Kinsley gets to her feet and pulls me into a quick hug. “Have fun tonight.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
I snort.
“That’s exactly how I meant it.”
“I’d be game,” I say, slipping on my shoes. “I’d probably die because I don’t think he’d ever really take me up on it. I needle him all the time because I know I’m off-limits to him. Man, I talk good smack but don’t really have the ass to back it up.”
“No—your ass is hot. You just need to, you know, tread carefully, or you might get yourself in pretty deep.”
“I bet it’d go deep.”
We laugh together. But as I laugh at my joke, I start thinking about what I said.
I do talk a lot and push a lot of buttons for someone who’s never had sex.
I always panic at the last moment and stop.
The idea of giving my body to someone, especially for the first time, is overwhelming.
I’ve never wanted a guy to have that piece of me, never wanted to let them in that far. It’s cost me a lot of relationships.
But the idea of being with Nate doesn’t feel as terrifying. Would I freak out when the time came? I don’t know. Maybe. But a part of me knows I’d be safe with him … and a part of me really wants him to be that guy.
“I’ll let you know of any status updates,” I say.
“Please do. I’ll light a candle for your virginity tonight.”
“You do that.” I laugh. “Talk to you later.”
“Bye, Paige.”
I slip into the hallway. Then I walk through the lobby that smells vaguely of curry and make my way outside.
I tug my sweatshirt closer against me as I bow my head against the wind. My car is at the end of the parking lot, and by the time I get there, I’m nearly a popsicle.
After starting the engine, I turn the heater on high. Naturally, it bursts cold air into the cab. Just as I yelp from the frigidity, my phone rings.
Mom. I smile.
“Hi,” I say, turning the vents down.
“Where are you? It sounds like you’re in a tunnel.”
“Just my car. Sorry about that,” I say, sitting back. “I cranked the heat up, but there’s no heat yet. So it was just assaulting me, basically.”
She laughs. “Is everything going okay? I haven’t heard from you today.”
My chest fills with a warmth that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever. But, like it always does, it eventually dissipates.
“I’m fine. Great, actually,” I say. “I spent the day with my friend Kinsley and am on my way to Nate’s now.”
She sighs.
“It’s fine, Mom,” I say. “I wouldn’t be staying there if it wasn’t.”
“I know. And I trust you, honey. You have wonderful instincts.”
But … I stare off into the distance.
“But it’s hard for me not to know any of the people in your life. Are they taking good care of my baby girl? Do they know how precious you are to me? Do they know what I would have your brothers do if they ever hurt you? Because I’d give up my Switzerland status for that.”
I laugh. “I love you, too, Mom. And, yes, they are taking good care of me.”
Mom hates that she and Dad haven’t come to Savannah since the first month I got here.
I always try to visit them once a month because I miss my family so much.
And, if I’m being honest, I like having my own space and life up here.
They’ll be here soon. I’ve probably kept her away as long as I can. God love her.
“Also, Maddox has your password, so be ready for that bill.”
She groans.
“He’s only had it for fifteen minutes or so. You can minimize the damage by changing the password.”
“That boy.” She sighs. “Anyway, you are good? Have you talked to Hollis? Did you tell him that I can’t wait to meet him?”
Her words do more for me than any hug or I love you. Her honesty and genuine excitement over adding Hollis to our family is so apparent, and I love her so much for it.
I know they’ll get along great. I just need a little time to get to know Hollis myself, to really build a foundation between the two of us before the Carmichaels roll in with the welcome wagon.
“I had dinner with him last night. He can’t wait to meet you too. I just need a little more time, Mom. I hope you understand.”
“I’m trying to. I promise.”
“Thank you. How is everyone? How are the boys?” I ask, using the collective term I started using years ago for all of my brothers.
“Oh, you know your brothers. They’re trying to see which one is going to make me gray first.”
“Better than being in competition with each other to make you a grandma first.”
She laughs. “Oh, heavens, yes. I’d like them to be settled down and happily married—or at least in a serious relationship—before that happens.”
“Do you ever think Banks is actually going to be in a serious relationship? He eats cold SpaghettiOs. He’s a child—and not a particularly smart one.”
“Yes, well, Banks is a special case.”
We both laugh.
“Do you need anything?” Mom asks. “I was looking for rentals for you today. I found a couple that look like good leads if you need them.”
“Yeah. Will you text them to me?”
“I’d love to.”
I grin. “Thanks.”
“Of course. Do you need anything else? I can Prime stuff like it’s my job.”
“Dad thinks that is your job,” I say, laughing.
“As long as I get something for him too, he can’t say a word. That’s a little tip for you.”
“I think that one will be more helpful than the laundry sorting rules.”
She groans. “Don’t tell me you’re still not sorting your laundry.”
“Mom, no one is sorting their laundry anymore. It’s whites, lights, and darks. Maybe towels separately.”
“I can’t take it. This is hurting my heart.”
“I’ll tell you what—when I ruin my stuff, you can Prime me new towels.”
“Deal!”
We chuckle. The heat starts to build in my car, so I crank up the blowers.
“Okay, I better get off here and see what we’re having for dinner,” she says. “Maddox asked me to make him a pot of chicken noodle soup, and I think I’m out of egg noodles.”
“God forbid.”
“I’d make a pot for you too if you were here, you little stinker.”
“Tell Mad I said hi,” I say. “Tell Banks to fuck off.”
“Paige!”
I giggle. “I’m kidding, Mom. Relax. Don’t tell Banks anything at all. That’ll drive him the craziest.”
“He does like attention, doesn’t he?”
“You think?” I hold my hand over the vent to thaw my fingers. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“If you don’t, I’ll come up there and find you.”
“Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“Change your password! Bye.”
I end the call and then sit back in my seat, relishing in the glow of being my mother’s daughter. It took us a while to get here, but we made it. And I’m so happy about it.
Now on to the fun stuff.
I hope.
I back out of the parking spot and head to Nate’s.