Chapter 2 #5
His nose brushed my temple; his lips grazed my ear. “You don’t disappear under my watch, Sienna,” he murmured. “You don’t disappear from me.”
My eyes widened as he pulled back just enough to look at me, his gaze burning openly now.
In that instant, I understood, he wasn’t hiding his feelings.
He was suppressing them. Crushing them down so hard they’d become invisible.
Because no man could look at me like that and be indifferent.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered. Neither do I,” he replied softly.
“Believe me, moya malen’kaya gadyuka. I don’t understand anything anymore when you’re near. ”
Something in his voice, raw, stripped bare, clenched my chest. I closed my eyes as he leaned in again, my heart racing, expecting his lips.
Instead, he pressed a kiss just below my ear, along my neck.
“When I look at you, I want too many things Sienna,” he murmured.
My name sounded like a secret on his tongue.
“I want to shake that stubbornness out of you. I want to pin you down and make you stop fighting me.” I caught my breath, fingers clutching his shirt.
“I want to strangle you when you look at me like that,” he went on, his voice low and rough.
“And I want to kiss you until you forget how to breathe.” One of his hands slid from my jaw to my waist, resting there, warm and possessive.
His thumb brushed my lips, coaxing them apart.
“I want to hear you say my name,” he whispered.
“I want to see your lips part like that…” His mouth brushed my throat, sending a shiver through me, and his touch made my knees weaken despite myself.
“This is a bad idea,” I whispered, barely audible. “A terrible one,” he agreed softly, “but it’s the only one that haunts me. Day and night. The only one that keeps me from working, sleeping… from breathing.” And the worst part was that he was right.
No matter how much he infuriated me, I couldn’t deny it anymore.
My gaze always sought him first when I entered a room.
My ears searched for his voice. His scent had become disturbingly familiar, comforting.
The way he cared for his nephews, the way he spoke to his brothers, the way he treated my sister, the iron control with which he ruled his world, all of it had carved its way under my skin.
Suddenly he stepped closer, his leg sliding between mine, nudging my foot aside.
Before I could protest, his mouth claimed mine again, his kiss deeper this time, more urgent.
His hand tangled in my damp hair, tilting my head back to deepen the contact.
A sound escaped me before I could stop it, my fingers curling into his hair as sensation surged through me.
And for one dangerous, suspended moment, everything else ceased to exist.
“Sasha…” I gasped against his lips as his hand slid lower between my thighs, but he claimed my mouth again, stealing the sound from me.
I closed my eyes, breath unsteady, as sensation flared and spread through me like a slow-burning fire.
“Blyat,” he swore under his breath as he suddenly pulled back, leaving me unsteady, breathless.
His fingers tangled in my hair, tugging my head gently yet firmly against the door, exposing my throat.
His teeth brushed my skin, sending a shiver through me, while his touch remained relentless, precise, maddening.
His name slipped from my lips again, barely more than a breath, and my vision blurred as the tension coiled tighter inside me.
“So warm… so responsive,” he murmured hoarsely, his mouth grazing my skin as his fingers deepened theirs movements. “So close already… for me.”
My breath broke into a soft, helpless sound as my body betrayed me, trembling, yielding.
His mouth found the hollow of my throat, lingering there, his breath hot against my pulse.
The world narrowed to this sensation, to the way he held me, to the way my body reacted despite myself.
Then, abruptly, everything crested and shattered at once.
A broken cry escaped me as my hand tightened around his wrist, my knees weakening beneath me.
He steadied me instantly, his arm firm around my waist as the moment ebbed away, grounding me while the world slowly came back into focus.
My head tipped forward against his shoulder, my breath uneven, senses dulled and overstimulated all at once.
Gradually, sounds and awareness returned.
I blinked up at him, dazed, meeting his blue eyes.
I froze when I saw him lift his hand toward his mouth, his expression dark, unreadable, intimate in a way that made my pulse stumble again.
Heat rushed to my face. How could a man so controlled, so distant, be capable of such intensity?
“This was a mistake,” I whispered at last, my voice rough and shaky.
He nodded slowly, brushing damp strands of hair away from. “Yes,” he agreed quietly, “a serious one.” His forehead came to rest against mine. “But one we’ll make again. And again. Much sooner than you think, moy angel.” (my angel)
His voice lowered, darker now, threaded with something dangerous and restrained, “that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?
All those provocations, the defiance, the way you push me, challenge me, disobey me.
What did you expect, Sienna?” A faint, bitter smile touched his lips.
“You succeeded. You pushed me past my limits” his gaze held mine, unwavering.
“And now,” he murmured, almost to himself, “we both have to live with the consequences.”
Chapter 2
Sienna
“What’s so interesting?” a voice asked the next morning as I was reading in the living room.
I snapped my book shut so fast I was sure I had torn a page or two.
Damn it. Still seated on the couch, I glanced over my shoulder and pressed my lips together when I saw Sasha leaning against the archway leading into the room.
One broad shoulder rested casually against the frame, his arms crossed over his wide chest, emphasizing his powerful build, his shoulders, his neck.
His skin must have been warm, carrying his scent…
I froze, suddenly aware of the direction of my thoughts.
What was wrong with me? It had to be the book, yes, that was it.
All because of Alice, who couldn’t seem to resist James’s demands, telling her to get on all fours and she did it without hesitation. Honestly, who did that?
Unless you were being paid for it, of course. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, self-mockery and I had a long-standing relationship.
“Nothing that concerns you,” I replied, turning away without reopening the book, never when he was around. I even pressed the cover against my chest to hide the title, snoop that he was, he’d probably look it up online.
“You’re red as a peony, your breathing’s uneven, and you were smiling like an idiot,” he said, walking closer, his hands buried in his pockets, his gaze sliding over my curled-up posture on the couch. Despite myself, I squeezed my thighs together as memories flashed my mind.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I replied, standing up and slipping into my slippers.
Shoes were forbidden in the Ivanov houses, Elif couldn’t stand the idea of people walking on her rugs after being outside.
And honestly, I understood her. Her Turkish rugs were probably worth a fortune.
I turned away from Sasha, intent on circling the couch to reach my room and finish my very interesting reading, but Sasha had other plans.
He wrapped an arm around me, pinning my arms against my stomach, while his other hand rose to my throat, firm but controlled, pulling my back against his chest.
“Stop running from me,” he murmured against my ear, sending a shiver through me.
I closed my eyes and clutched my book, trying to steady myself.
I had to calm down. I couldn’t let my emotions rule me anymore.
I inhaled slowly, a mistake. His scent flooded my senses and almost drew a sound from my throat.
“Let go,” I murmured, struggling weakly, but his hold tightened as he tipped my head back gently against his shoulder, I opened my eyes and met his, blue, cold, peace. Desire burned there, undisguised. “Never,” he answered quietly, his gaze locked on mine.
My breath caught, no, he stole it from me. The determination in his eyes terrified me, because I knew it would lead nowhere good. Not for him. Not for me. I knew he wanted me, because I wanted him too, more than I had ever wanted anything. And that was exactly the problem.
I couldn’t. Not in my state. Not in my situation. He deserved so much more. More than this. More than me.
He didn’t truly know me, only the part I allowed him to see, the part I kept polished and contained to protect my family.
If he ever saw the other side, the darker, twisted one, he would push me away himself.
And if I let him have that kind of power over me, I would break.
Completely. I couldn’t allow that. Too many people depended on me.
I couldn’t abandon them for my own desire.
Not after everything I had done. I had no right to want this.
No right to want him. I pressed my lips together, lifted my foot, and brought my heel down hard on his.
He groaned, instinctively loosening his grip, and I tore myself free, stumbling back a few steps, breathless.
“I told you I don’t want this anymore, Sasha. It was a mistake. We never should have…” I said, holding his gaze so he would understand I meant it. “It has to stop.” He didn’t move. His expression darkened, his jaw tightening as his fists clenched at his sides, his body coiling with tension.
“Stop, Sasha. I know what you’re thinking. I know what you want, but it’s impossible. We’ll never be like them. We’ll never be like Selina and Nikolai.”