Chapter 3
Sienna
"I don't understand why everyone respects her so much!
She's a prostitute like us," a grumpy voice suddenly growled above me, pulling me out of my dream where I was doing interesting things with a certain Russian guy.
I fluttered my eyelids, trying to regain my footing, my back and neck hurt as I frowned when the first thing I saw was packs of beer.
I slowly turned my sore neck and noticed that I was behind the club bar.
Damn, I had fallen asleep here. I had left the Ivanovs' house very early that morning so as not to run into anyone, especially not a blue-eyed Russian, and I didn't want to wake up the girls in the suite who had probably been working all night.
So I decided to have a drink at the bar, yes, at six in the morning, but there was no wrong time to drink when everything is going wrong.
My eyes fell on the bottle at my feet that I hadn't even opened.
I had fallen asleep exhausted, which was not surprising since I hadn't slept a wink all night.
"Maybe they're all afraid of her. I heard she strangled a woman with her bare hands in Vegas years ago," said a second voice, younger than the first one, as I tried to understand the subject of the conversation, already feeling a sense of doubt creeping in.
"Pfff, I don't believe it for a second, that Stella is just pretending," retorted the second girl, confirming that I was indeed the subject of discussion.
Great. I didn't recognize their voices; they were probably from the latest generation, and even though I knew all the girls by heart, given my jumbled thoughts, it was difficult to put names to voices.
"They're all afraid of her because she's the Master's favorite.
I'd like to know what she does to please him that's so special to get his favor," continued the grumpier of the two, and I was suddenly overcome with a sudden urge to vomit.
What was so special about me other than being unwilling?
Nothing, and that's what that son of a bitch liked, getting what was forbidden to him, impossible.
"Or maybe she didn't choose to be in this situation and if she could, she would leave without a second thought, but she stays to protect and help ungrateful brats like you," Esme's voice suddenly echoed a little louder and the idiots gasped.
"What are you doing here at this hour? New recruits aren't allowed out of their rooms before ten in the morning," she scolded them as her footsteps drew nearer.
I glanced at my watch: half past nine. Damn, I'd slept on the floor for three hours.
No wonder I had a stiff neck. "We... we just wanted something to drink," replied the calmer of the two, while the other remained silent.
"And I'm telling you that you're not allowed to do that before ten o'clock.
Maybe we should call Joana and let her decide," continued Esme, her voice now above me too.
The girls didn't answer, while my friend scoffed.
"If I catch you talking about Sienna again, if I catch you insulting her again, I promise I'll make your lives hell" Esme threatened them in a dark voice, and I rolled my eyes.
My friend was the kindest and most understanding woman I knew, except when it came to the people she loved.
"You should be bowing down at her feet just for the birth control pills you take every day.
Do you think the Master gives them to you out of kindness, you idiots?
" she spat, getting angrier and angrier, and I grimaced.
"No, he preferred much less expensive and radical methods.
It's thanks to Sienna that you still have hope for the future, hope that we no longer have.
.." "Esme, enough," I groaned, clinging to the bar to pull myself up, whimpering as my muscles protested.
"Sienna?" asked my friend, dressed in leggings, a light sweater, and slippers, her eyes wide as she looked at me.
The frightened expressions on the faces of the two young girls, whom I now recognized, made me sigh.
"Go back to your room, use the stairs. Joana is up at this hour for her miracle morning routine or some crap like that.
You don't want to run into her in the elevator, do you?
" I said, jumping nimbly over the counter despite my aching muscles, which made them jump.
They scurried off down the hallway leading to the stairs without hesitation under Esme's dark gaze, as I gently tapped her arm.
"Stop it, they're still young," I tried to calm her down, dusting off my pants before grabbing my bag that I had left on the counter.
"No younger than you were," she said suddenly, looking at me with a gaze expressing her anger and despair, while I smiled at her.
"And I was much worse than them, if you remember".
"I just can't stand it when people put you down like that after everything you've been through and done for us, and continue to do," she retorted as I shook my head and headed for the hallway.
"I'm not just doing this for you, but for myself too," I replied as she followed me, her footsteps telling me she was unhappy.
"You know what upsets me even more than those idiots who put you down?
It's you ! Putting yourself down!" she lectured me as we reached the floor of our rooms, walking down the corridor where a few Shadows on duty watched us pass.
"I'm not in the mood for this, Esme," I sighed as I entered the suite reserved for our group.
"You look awful," exclaimed Ava from behind the counter, where she was probably preparing a peach smoothie, which she loved.
I gave her the finger as I collapsed onto the sofa in the sitting area, Esme following close behind, now looking worried.
"So? Did you finally do it with the Russian?
Foreplay is fine, but you have to take it to the next level after a while," Ava continued.
"We'll never take things to the next level because I told him I wanted to stop," I said, feeling my heart tighten as I remembered the way Sasha had looked at me, his eyes clear blue but his gaze so dark.
Esme stared at me in surprise as Ava looked up at me with wide eyes.
"What?!" they exclaimed in unison as Diane appeared from the hallway leading to our rooms. Half of her black hair was pinned up and the other half fell in pretty curls against her shoulder.
Her makeup wasn't finished yet, and I realized she was probably getting ready for tonight.
The three of them looked at me terrified, as if I had just announced that I had sacrificed a newborn for eternal youth.
"I told him I didn't want to continue," I repeated, dropping my head back against the headrest, trying to chase away the image of the Russian man that haunted me.
"But why? You two would be so good together!
Just like your sister and his brother!" insisted Ava, approaching me as the others agreed and began to add their two cents, starting an impossible hubbub.
"He deserves better," I finally whispered, and a deep silence suddenly fell over the room.
No one dared say anything as I sighed softly.
I lifted my head and looked at them one by one, my confidantes, my companions, my sisters, that's what they were, because we were the same, because we had survived together, because we had gone through ups and downs together, because we had survived the same hell together.
"He deserves better than this," I said, pointing at myself with my thumb while trying to smile, but it must have looked more like a grimace.
"Better than me," I added, closing my eyes.
It was so painful just to think it, so saying it out loud was like ripping my heart out with my own hands.
Torture. I felt tears welling up, my lips trembling as my throat tightened.
I had cried all night and fled the house early that morning so no one could see me like this.
Wasn't that enough?! Why did I have to keep suffering like this?
! Tears escaped from behind my hands, which I pressed against my eyes, and suddenly I felt arms close around me.
The scent of roses filled my nostrils as Esme pulled my face against her chest. The first sob escaped my lips, which I tried to keep sealed, but it was no use.
Other arms encircled me as I began to cry hot tears, my body shaking with sobs as I cried with a broken voice.
My sisters said nothing, they just held me close.
After all, what could they say? They knew I was right, they knew it.
After a few minutes of crying like a baby, lamenting my fate that I had brought upon myself by approaching that damn Russian, I finally shook my head and gently pushed the others away. "Enough," I sniffed, wiping my cheeks.