Chapter 3 #4
I closed my eyes and shook my head, “I… they need me. Not just my friends, others too. I have to…” “To do what, Sienna?” he cut in sharply, rare anger flickering in his tone.
“You need to forgive yourself. You need to give yourself one last chance to live. You must forget what happened, what you did. You did what you had to do to survive. Anyone would have done the same.”
“Really?” a voice whispered suddenly beside my ear. “Anyone would have done the same… like you did?”
My jaw clenched as I lowered my gaze back to the stream, throat tight, exposed.
He knew me too well, far too well. “I see,” Ganesh sighed, turning away.
“The time will come when you forgive yourself, Sienna. I hope the right people will be there to help you see it.” I said nothing, folding my arms over my chest, trying to push away the presence that never left me, that haunted me, tormented me.
“Until then, let’s see how we’re going to get your girls out of that hole,” Ganesh continued, walking on.
I released a shaky breath, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand as I forced the nausea down. Don’t think. Don’t feel.
As I moved to follow him, my phone vibrated in the back pocket of my jeans, an incoming call, from S. Ivanov. The fifth one already, and it wasn’t even noon. I let it go to voicemail again, and when I was about to put the phone away, it vibrated once more with messages:
Where are you?
Answer the damn phone, Sienna.
The messages kept coming. I didn’t know what to do about Sasha, maybe I should just tell him the truth, that I was a prostitute, that I had slept with hundreds of men, some of whom he might even know.
Thank God I hadn’t run into any of them yet, but Las Vegas wasn’t far from San Francisco, and it was Bratva territory.
I was sure that once he knew the truth, he would leave without looking back… but I didn’t want him to. For once, I wanted someone to stay, not to protect me, not to watch my back, but to stay for me. For who I was. For Sienna.
I sighed and slipped my phone back into my pocket, ignoring the insistent presence of my Shadow walking beside me, and hurried to catch up with Ganesh to tell him about my new idea.
The three girls I wanted to get out were all in the same place.
We could fake a contagious illness and have them removed under the pretense of disposal.
It wouldn’t be easy, but if anyone could make it happen, it was Ganesh.
Sasha
My messages went unanswered, just like my calls, and it was starting to irritate me beyond reason, so much so that the thought looping endlessly through my head was that I was going to kill her.
She had slipped away like a thief that morning while the whole house was still asleep.
I didn’t even know how she managed to escape the villa’s surveillance.
She barely appeared on most of the cameras, and on the few where she might have shown up, they had mysteriously stopped working. She was driving me insane.
I set my phone down on my desk, then picked it up again, then put it back down, only to grab it once more because it still didn’t feel right.
The voice in my head whispered that it wasn’t placed correctly, but I forced myself to stop, clenching my fists to keep from touching the damn thing again.
Fucking OCD, ruining my life at every turn.
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, fists tight, trying to stop my fingers from reaching for the phone again.
Usually, I managed to control it using the techniques I’d learned growing up, but lately it had become harder.
And the reason was painfully obvious: a certain Italian woman who barely reached my chin, with hypnotic green eyes and a temper that could drive anyone mad.
I rubbed my face before turning back to my computer screen.
I was drafting the contracts for the new recruits Roman and Nikolai had selected the day before.
The family was growing, and so were our operations.
We needed more personnel, security, logistics, structure.
And we needed to replace the guards we had gotten rid of months earlier, the ones who had let Rasili’s men infiltrate the villa and attack us.
We still didn’t know how, or with whose help, they had managed to get inside, but we couldn’t take any risks.
Most had been dismissed. Others had been executed.
Some things were unforgivable, and endangering our family was one of them.
Whether they had actively helped the Italians or simply failed to protect us didn’t matter.
Failure itself was betrayal. If we forgave once, men would grow careless.
And we couldn’t afford that, not after armed men had crossed our threshold, not after my family had been endangered, not after Sienna had nearly died. The thought froze me. Sienna… dead?
The idea alone made my chest tighten violently. A life without Sienna, without her gaze, her voice, her scent, her warmth, was not a life worth living. It would be empty, cold, hollow.
My eyes drifted back to my phone, waiting for it to light up, for even a single message.
Nothing. I didn’t know where she was, who she was with, or what she was doing.
In truth, I knew almost nothing about her, except that she loved her sister and her nephew more than anything.
There was no trace of her anywhere since her arrival in Seattle, no hospital records, no university enrollment, no customs entries, no criminal files.
It was as if she had ceased to exist. Just like Kenji.
Nothing on him either. Whatever they were involved in, it wasn’t normal.
All I really knew was that she was reckless, impulsive, always rushing headfirst without thinking.
That she had a sharp tongue and a maddening arrogance.
But I also knew that she had the most beautiful laugh I had ever heard, the kind you could listen to for hours.
That her gaze could make me lose my words.
Me, a lawyer known for flawless rhetoric.
And that her skin reacted to my slightest touch, shivering beneath my fingers.
Whatever secrets she was hiding, whatever lies surrounded her, I would uncover them one by one. I wouldn’t stop until I knew everything about her.
I sighed and forced myself back to the contracts.
This mattered. Even if we were a criminal organization, structure was essential.
This wasn’t child’s play. We needed to know exactly who we were bringing in, people who would be around our wives, our children, our home. Mistakes could not be repeated.
I spent the next hour working, glancing at my phone every few minutes despite myself, like some damn teenager obsessed with his messages.
I finally sighed and pressed a button on the desk phone.
“Yes, Mr. Ivanov?” Sally’s voice answered.
“Have we received the documents regarding the merger yet?” I asked, my tone colder than intended.
“N-no, sir. Not yet. Would you like me to call them again?” “No. Leave it. We’ll wait until tomorrow.
Thank you” I hung up and leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes.
That merger was crucial. It would allow us to tighten our grip on the Triads operating on this side of the country, an opportunity we couldn’t afford to lose.
More importantly, it would reinforce our authority at the table.
The Ivanovs had led the Bratva for decades, but power was never guaranteed. Everything could collapse overnight.
Especially now. After Nikolai and Selina’s wedding, a minority had begun to rebel. A war with the Italians frightened them.
A knock sounded at the door, and Nikolai walked in with a bag in hand, a stupid grin plastered on his face.
A grin that hadn’t left him since he’d learned he was going to be the father of a little girl, an infectious grin, despite myself.
His presence wasn’t unusual; he had his own office at our San Francisco headquarters, though it had gathered dust these past months.
“What do I owe the honor of this rare visit, moy brat?” I smirked as he dropped the bag on my desk.
“From Elif. Sarma,” he said, collapsing into the chair opposite me.
I immediately lunged for the container. The smell of Turkish food filled the room as I devoured the stuffed vine leaves while they were still warm.
I slapped his hand away when he tried to steal one, shooting him a glare.
“They’re mine”. He raised an eyebrow, then glanced pointedly at my phone.
My heart skipped as I grabbed it, only to frown when I saw there were no notifications.
“You can be really stupid for a lawyer,” he laughed, already shoving three rolls into his mouth.
I shot him a glare and pulled the container farther away.
“Still nothing?” he asked, his smile fading as concern crept into his expression.
The Ivanov brothers were masters at hiding emotion, except when it came to family.
And even if Sienna struggled to accept it, she was family.
An aunt to my nephews and future niece. A sister to my brothers and Elif.
And to me… That part, I would understand soon enough.
So would she. “She sent Selina a message when she left,” he said quietly.
“Said she’d be back before dinner.” I slowly lifted my gaze toward him.
“Before dinner, huh?” he nodded as I glanced at the clock on the wall. Less than six hours.