Chapter 11 #6
“Sienna, the boys didn’t mean to disrespect anyone.
They just want to protect your sister and you,” Elif suddenly said as she stepped closer.
“Like Kenji,” she added, resting her hand on my shoulder.
“Elif is right. What matters most right now is your safety,” Grigori confirmed and Kenji took my trembling hands in his.
“Knowing you’re here, I’ll be able to investigate properly on my side,” he murmured with a knowing look and I pressed my lips together, feeling the heavy gaze of my sister on my back.
“The girls…” I whispered and he nodded, “I know. I’ll take care of it” I finally sighed, squeezing his hands as I gave in, trusting him completely.
My sister let out a breath of relief as I turned to look at her.
She smiled softly at her husband, and I hated myself.
I hated myself for putting her in this position.
I hated myself for always dragging the people I loved into difficult situations, forcing them to sacrifice themselves for me, to suffer because of me.
Even just knowing they worried about me was unbearable.
Maybe things would be easier if I disappeared once and for all…
“Enna!” Kenji’s voice thundered and suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me sharply.
I stumbled and found myself gripping Sasha’s shirt to keep my balance, my eyes widening as I met his.
“What are you doing?” I breathed, disoriented, as his gaze scanned my face.
“Your face just now…” he began, and the despair I saw in his eyes shook me.
My face ? “Sasha,” Nikolai called as Selina stepped closer, rubbing her belly anxiously.
“I’m going to walk Kenji out. I’ll be right back,” I said, gently freeing myself from Sasha’s grip before kissing my sister’s cheek. My Shadow let me go first before falling into step behind me and we left the villa under everyone’s watchful eyes.
—
I let out a long sigh, shoving my clammy hands into my jacket pockets as we stepped into the cool night air.
I needed to calm down, I wasn’t the kind to lose control like this.
It was dangerous. “Start by looking into the Mother,” I said once we were far enough that no one could overhear us as we reached the car.
“Working with the Italians would be far too risky for it to be the Master.” Kenji nodded and cast one last glance toward the villa as he opened the driver’s door but he stopped, his gaze landing on me.
I saw his jaw tighten. “What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, he didn’t answer, just stared at me a moment longer before slamming the door shut and coming back toward me.
“You’ve always been good at lying, Enna,” he said darkly.
“But do you know who you manipulate best?” I looked at him, confused.
He was angry, why? “What?” I asked, lost. “Yourself,” he replied, ignoring me as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward the villa.
“Look,” he said and my gaze landed on Sasha, standing at the top of the steps, watching us.
I knew it. I’d predicted it. Once he had me in his sights, he wouldn’t let go, he was making sure I didn’t run. Asshole.
I tried to turn back to my Shadow, confused, when my sister stepped outside, Nikolai’s jacket over her shoulders, her husband glued to her side.
Then Elif came out, scolding Roman as he tried to light a cigarette.
Finally, Grigori appeared, staying back, observing from afar like the alpha of the pack he was.
“I don’t understand,” I murmured as a strange feeling seized me.
“You do understand, Sienna,” my Shadow continued.
“You understand that the people you need most are standing right in front of you. You understand who they are, what this place is, that this is your last chance. And you’re afraid.
” My gaze darted between the faces that had become so familiar to me.
Kenji turned me back toward him, his hand sliding to my cheek as the streetlight illuminated his dark features.
“And dying wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t help anyone” my eyes widened at his words as his thumb brushed my cheekbone.
He leaned in, his breath warm against my ear, “I won’t let you do it, Sienna.
As long as I’m alive, you won’t die, not even by your own hand” he whispered and stepped back, I stared at him, breathless.
I’d only had that thought for a split second, how had he known?
“Your mask slips when you feel safe, Enna,” my Shadow pointed out, “and I wasn’t the only one who saw it.
” Sasha. He’d mentioned my expression, that was what he’d meant.
Had he understood my dark thoughts? “I will always be your Shadow,” Kenji murmured in his native language before kissing my forehead and stepping back into the car.
He drove off, and I watched him disappear, his absence already leaving me feeling alone.
I hoped everything would go well at the club.
I needed to recharge my phone so I could call the girls and Ganesh.
I had to warn him about the Italians, even though I was sure Kenji was already doing it.
Suddenly, another shadow appeared beside mine.
I lifted my face and fixed my gaze on Sasha’s profile as he watched Kenji’s headlights fade into the distance.
He stood rigidly at my side, straight, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw clenched, the same jaw I had hit.
Again. I glanced toward the entrance and saw that everyone had gone back inside, no doubt reassured now that my only means of escape had disappeared.
I had the distinct feeling that cohabitation was about to take on a very different shape.
I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. Come on, a little courage. “I’m…” “Listen…”
We looked at each other, having spoken at the same time.
His gaze slid over every feature of my face, his chest rising as he took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry if you felt insulted by our behavior,” he said without breaking eye contact and I liked that.
I liked the way he acknowledged when he was wrong.
I liked that he apologized without letting his ego stand in the way.
I simply nodded, moistening my lips, and his gaze followed the movement.
That single gesture was enough to turn my blood into lava, I swallowed.
“And I’m sorry for the punch. It was a rough night,” I apologized, my eyes drifting to his reddened jaw before I grimaced.
I hadn’t missed. A smirk tugged at his lips before he turned back toward the driveway, his hands slipping into his pockets.
“It’s fine. I’m starting to get used to it,” he said and a slow smile spread across my face.
I turned as well, facing the driveway, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah. Me too. I’m starting to get used to it…
and to appreciate it,” I replied with a slight pout.
I felt his gaze on my profile but ignored it, focusing instead on our surroundings.
The courtyard and the driveway were illuminated by elegant streetlamps, undoubtedly Elif’s choice.
She really did have impeccable taste. A light breeze brushed against my neck, and I savored it, lifting my face toward the sky.
When you spend too long deprived of certain things, even the most basic sensations become precious, like a breeze, a flower, or the presence of another human being.
I cast quick glances at Sasha as the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves filled the air around us.
He stared into the distance just as I did, his face revealing no emotion, though I could see his jaw tightening.
Better not tempt fate. “We should go inside. The others are waiting for us to eat,” I said, turning toward the villa when suddenly his arm wrapped around my waist, his hand sliding into my hair, his fingers gripping my nape and his lips found mine.
He had moved so fast ! I didn’t have time to protest. Neither did my body, as if it knew he was exactly where he belonged, as if he feared nothing.
I froze, eyes wide open, while his were closed, his face relaxed, his chest rising and falling softly against mine.
My hands came to rest on his muscular ribs.
He had a V-shaped torso that did very interesting things to my libido.
Everything about him did, really, from his body to the way he spoke, from his eyes to his smile. Everything.
His warmth wrapped around me, his presence filling every empty space within me, within my heart.
It felt like pressing your hands against a radiator after playing in the snow all day as a child.
It burned. It consumed. After the fear, the stress of the night, the cold I’d felt with that gun pointed at me, he warmed me. He burned me. And I wanted more.
Sasha pulled back slightly, locking his gaze with mine as I still hadn’t moved an inch, too stunned by his gesture. I would never have thought he’d dare kiss me after everything I’d said at the wedding and after the punch. I’d thought my hatred would be enough to push him away.
This… this was completely unexpected. “You could have died tonight, Sienna,” he murmured.
And I noticed then that he was trembling, his hand at the nape of my neck was cold, shaking.
Sasha was never cold. This was the first time I’d ever felt his skin icy against mine, “Sasha,” I breathed, but he was already shaking his head.
“You could have died tonight and I wouldn’t even have known,” he continued, his eyes studying every inch of my face.
His pupils quivered. The despair in his gaze stole my breath.
“You could have died alone without me knowing. Without me feeling it,” he groaned, jaw clenched.