Chapter 19
I went through the rest of the day in some sort of haze that I could not get myself out of.
I had no idea why I felt like this, and I felt that it was because Jonah did not help me when I needed the most. I was numb to the world, and I could tell that those who knew me were worried about my state of mind.
Shilan's presence helped me a little, his comfort being something that I needed as I tried to get a grasp not only on what had happened to me that night with the Shifter but also with my new position as Rider, as well.
He didn't say a word, but that didn't matter because I didn't need someone to comfort me while I got a grasp of the world around me.
And, I did by the time I was lying in bed with my siblings beside me, six of us crammed in one room with three sleeping in one bed with me. I laid there awake, their soft breathing doing nothing to keep the thoughts at bay and let me rest as well.
I laid there awake until I finally had enough of the sleeping children and slipped out of bed, quietly with the glistening moon lighting my way while I stepped over the two lying on the floor and made it out of the room.
With the gentle moonlight guiding me, I made it to the kitchen and the table to see some of my mother's work still laying there, waiting for her to finish patching up clothing for both the nobles and other people as well.
I picked up her work with a soft sigh and placed it into her sewing basket, deciding that it would be best for me to help her since I was still awake.
The urge to go outside was stronger, stronger than it usually was with the moon as bright and full as it was.
Tribe's Moon, my father, would call this full every year we see it.
A moon that connects the whole Hargen Tribe no matter where they were located and for them to find their way "home.
" He'd stare at it longingly, and I knew that he wanted to listen, to go back to his tribe, and never come back.
And, I felt the same way, especially now that I was older. But like him, I knew that my place was here, and once they were taken care of and didn't need me, then I was going to answer the call and find the tribe that I belonged to.
For now, all I could do was walk outside and be in the moon's soft light and go to the little nest I made on the rooftop of the house. And so, that was where I went, setting the basket by my side and being bathed in the soft light, beckoning me into the woods and away from the world that I knew.
Ignoring the call of the moon, I set to work, picking up my mother's half-finished work and started to stitch it up with such skill and precision that whoever had this blue shirt could not tell the difference between my work or my mother's.
The fingers of a huntress, my father would say jokingly, watching as I nimbly fixed a shirt that he caught into something and ripped a hole into the fabric. Soft enough to patch a shirt but hard enough to string a bow quickly to kill an animal.
I would scold him teasingly and toss him his patched shirt, reminding him that he was the one who had taught me how to hold a bow before I was old enough to hold a needle. I would smile when he laughed, loving how his whole body would shake with each burst of laughter, and his head rolled back.
Oh, how I wished he was there to tease me about the shirt and the bow one more time so that I could hang onto that memory and not the memory of him being killed instantly by the Shifter who had been controlled by someone that wanted me dead.
How I wished I could hear his soothing deep voice tell me about life with Hargen Tribe or why he decided to leave the Tribe to be with Mama instead one last time.
But, that was in the past, and the past wasn't something that could be rewritten. Only the future could be changed, and I hoped that I was changing the future for the better for not only my family but my people as well.
I shook my head, breaking myself from mulling over a past that couldn't be changed, and scolded myself to focus on the present and what was right in front of me, especially because of the figure that ducked into a shadow nearby.
Not looking up from my work, I glanced in that direction and said, "I can see you. Come out."
The person, a male, chuckled and walked out of the shadows. His long stride carried his body towards me and stopped underneath the little perch that I had made. "Marini," he said, bowing his head to me. "It is good to see you more aware of your surroundings. I was getting worried."
I scowled and glanced at the male, looking into the pale blue eyes that contrasted with his dark skin. My hands kept going, stitch after stitch, with no guidance from my brain. "Why are you here, Silan?" I asked tiredly.
"To see how you are holding up," he replied, shrugging his shoulder. "May I come up?"
I hesitated but nodded, shifting the basket until it was behind me and making him enough room to sit. "I guess," I replied, and he nodded before climbing up the makeshift ladder before he settled by my side.
"You didn't answer me," he said, tearing my gaze away from my work. He raised an eyebrow. "How are you holding up?"
I shrugged. "Not good," I admitted. It was pointless to lie to him because he wouldfind information that I was hiding from him. "But I will be ok."
Silan hummed and nodded his head, moving a hand through his black beard. "It's a Tribe's Moon tonight," he noted. "I wonder where they are now."
"Probably somewhere cooler than here," I replied. I sighed and turned back to my work, finishing the last stitch before grabbing some scissors and cutting the remaining thread.
"Anywhere would be cooler tonight," he replied, "including the forest." He looked in the direction of the wall, his face grave. "I wouldn't mind being underneath them again," he said absentmindedly.
I paused in collecting another shirt and looked at him. "Why don't you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. "You are allowed to."
"You aren't, though," Silan said, smirking, and I scowled, not liking the reminder. "Not often." He paused and studied me. "Tell me," he said. "Did anything interesting happen to you? Anything at all?"
I shook my head and sighed mockingly. I wanted to tell him about the dragon and the meeting, but something held me back. Something was wrong, and I had no idea what it was. "If you don't know, then why should I tell you?" I teased, narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't tell me that you lost your gift."
Silan chuckled and shook his head. "I didn't lose my gift, Marini," he said, tsking afterward. "I merely wantto know this information from you."
I didn't reply and collected another shirt before sifting through the basket full of materials for the right color thread. I ignored his gaze on my back and kept my body relaxed.
Something happened to this man; I could feel it. However, I had no way to prove it; I had no way to prove my hunch, and it annoyed me because Silan was an ally and a friend.
Silan's gaze never left my face, and he pursed his lips in annoyance when I didn't reply. Jokingly, he nudged me with his shoulder, and I felt uncomfortable, a feeling that was foreign but confirmed my suspicions that something was wrong. "Come on, Marini," he teased. "I thought you trusted me."
"And, I thought you liked games," I teased.
"So go search; you might find something worthwhile.
" I glanced at him and smirked before continuing with the shirt.
"I do want to thank you, however," I said, changing the subject.
"For helping him here." I didn't say who he was, not knowing if he had actually had done it.
I was trying to put a time frame as to when this had happened, needing to know if something amiss now that I had a dragon and was a dragon rider.
Silan shrugged. "He had what I had given you," he said, dismissively. "I promised you that I would protect anyone who has it."
"And that would be..?" I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. I had no idea if he knew what it was, but I would find out soon.
Silan scoffed. "That was a long time ago," he said. "Do you think that I would be able to remember what I had given you? I have been busy working on other things that should be more important than a feather."
I didn't reply and stitched the other shirt. I could feel his gaze on me and sensed him getting very impatient with my silence. "You should know, Silan," I replied. "You made me promise never to forget."
Silan shrugged his shoulder, and I held in an eye roll. "Then I guess it isn't important," he muttered. "If you aren't going to tell me what it was."
I hummed but didn't reply. A thought occurred to me, and I gently placed my work back into the basket and held out my hand. "Hand me your arm," I said, looking at the male. "The one with the mark."
Silan narrowed his eyes and scowled. "Why?" he asked suspiciously. "Why would I do that?"
I bit back a sigh and was about to roll my eyes but thought better of it. If my suspicions were correct, I did not want him to know. "Just hand it over, please?"
Silan frowned but placed his arm in mine, palm up. He watched as I studied the mark and didn't say a word, something that was unlike him because he loved to quip about my studying his mark, telling me that it didn't change overnight.
The pale mark glowed in the moon's soft glow, and the urge to trace it was strong. It stood there, waiting and coaxing me to trace the mark and see the secrets it hid.
So, I traced the mark, my eyes tracing the mark while I traced the mark with my finger, hoping that it would do what it normally did and quieten the suspicions that were raised.
However, it didn't. It didn't turn gold.