Chapter 16
Liam
"Roo, let's go! The bus leaves for the runway in thirty minutes!" A questionable thud comes from upstairs as I put my bag by the front door.
"I know! I'm just looking for my neck pillow," she calls back, another bang echoing down the stairwell. "Tess isn't here yet, anyway."
I inhale deeply, grabbing my worn-in Flames hat from the hook by the door. "I know," I mumble to myself, sliding it on. I step back to the landing of the stairs. "Just try not to put any holes in the walls while you're up there, okay?"
Peeking out the side window, I look for any sign of Tess. Admittedly, I'm more anxious than I thought I'd be for the trip. I keep telling myself it's because Ruthie's coming, and that just means another moving part. But deep down, I know it's more than that.
The past few weeks have been hard. Reality’s setting in, and the last firsts have started unfolding for the season—my last first practice, my last first game, the last first time I hear my name echo through the stadium.
And Ruthie—God, she just keeps growing up.
With her twelfth birthday around the corner, it’s hitting me that my baby’s not a baby anymore.
It’s like both of my first loves are moving on without me. And as anyone would, I’m struggling with it. Add in the string of nanny failures, and I’ve been swapping the break I can’t seem to catch for a pretty shitty attitude. Especially with her.
Tessa’s not the enemy. And she doesn't seem anything like the others who didn’t work out. Maybe keeping her at arm’s length is part of the reason everything feels so heavy. I have help right beside me, but still, I'm carrying it alone.
I've been so busy trying to protect what's left of life as I know it, that I'm drowning the remaining time in sadness and negativity, treating the one person who can help as a threat instead of the gift that she is.
I've never given any person in my life half-effort.
So, moving forward, I'm giving Tessa's relationship with our family what it deserves—I'm planting my foot and committing to the swing.
And praying that she makes it over the fence.
Headlights stream in through the bay window, beacons of the hope I was starting to lose. "She's pulling in now!" I yell up to Ruthie.
"Okay, I'll be down in just a sec!"
I release an unexpectedly heavy breath and rush toward the door before I can stop myself. "Hey," I say walking across the porch—too eagerly considering she's barely had a chance to put both feet on the pavement. But it's time to pull the real Liam back out.
He has some making up to do.
"Oh, hi." Tess avoids my eye contact as she slams the driver's side door shut and reaches for the handle beside it.
I walk toward the car, attempting to ignore the mood she seems to be in, and brace one hand on the doorframe. "Thanks for coming."
She forces a smile. "Sure."
"Sorry I called so last minute." I watch as she reaches into the backseat. "Honestly, I've just been going back and forth with it because—"
"It's fine." She pops out with a duffle bag she throws onto her shoulder. "You weren't sure if you wanted me to be part of that side of your life just yet. I get it."
I pause. "Well, yeah actually, but… "
"Liam, it's seriously not a big deal." Her voice is soft and honest, but there's a hint of something more to it. Something sadder. "I'm just here to help with Ruthie and do my job. We don't have to be friends."
"What? No I—"
"Tess!"
I whip around to find Ruthie standing barefoot on the porch, her U-shaped pillow wrapped around her neck.
"Hey, girl," Tessa says, walking past me. I follow her until she's at the steps, then turn back to the open door I'm still hanging onto. "You ready?"
Ruthie nods excitedly. "I can't wait. We stayed at this hotel last year, and they have an indoor pool in this big glass room—heated too.
Dad let me swim in it at night. The only lights are these strips they put in the water around the edge, and you can change the color to be whatever you want—or we could at least." She wiggles her brows at me, and I shoot her a wink.
"Did you bring your suit?"
Tess glances quickly at me, then looks back at Ruthie. "Actually, I did. Our friend Brooke told me to. She's been there before."
Ruthie's face lights up. "Yes!" she cries. "I love Brooke."
I nod. "Me too."
Ruthie grins at Tess, then looks at me. "Alright, well, let's go! What are we waiting for?"
I laugh, partially from the irony of her question and partially from the relief I feel that she pulls me away from picturing Tessa in a bathing suit.
Chill, Two-Three. Not that kind of friendly.
"Well, you until like five minutes ago," I quip. She shrugs. "And Tess of course."
"Hey, I wasn't late," Tess shoots out defensively before she catches herself.
I smirk at her, and for the first time tonight, she smiles. "You never are."
Glancing next to me, I study Tessa for what feels like the hundredth time. She's in the aisle seat of our row—the one next to the seat saved for Ruthie and the furthest from me—but it doesn't matter. She's had her face in a book the entire flight.
Ruthie, who is everyone's favorite person on the team, has been bouncing around from seat to seat to talk to every player she says she hasn't seen in too long.
I, however, like peace on my flight before a game.
I like to listen to music, center myself, prepare for what's to come—things I haven't been able to focus on since takeoff.
Something's up with Tessa. I don't know what it is exactly, but she's given me the cold shoulder since she pulled into our driveway. She's still in there somewhere—I see the other version of her every time Ruthie pops into the picture—but here, with just me, it's like I don't exist.
It hits me that this must’ve been what she felt like—trying to reach me while I was so worried about keeping my distance. And now, here I am, chasing her depth the way she used to chase mine. It's the perfect reminder of why I need to be better.
I tried to make small talk on the bus ride over.
I explained the schedule and the hotel arrangements—we each have a room, and Ruthie shares mine.
I even showed her the view from her seats on my phone.
She played nice, smiling and nodding as I went along, but the bubbly girl I've had to actively avoid growing close to has yet to make an appearance tonight.
The plane rattles with the low hum of voices, Mack and the other coaches in the front, the two flight attendants casually laughing behind the bathrooms. The players do a little bit of everything—the pitchers tend to keep to themselves, the outfielders all hang in a group.
Jace wears headphones twice the size of his head and listens to music I can hear from our row.
But all of that background noise only amplifies the silence two seats down from me.
I invited Tess with us with the intention that this would be our fresh start—no more dodging details or running from proximity.
I want to get to know the woman working with Ruthie—the one she seems to love.
I want to get to know her in general. And I'm afraid if it doesn't happen this weekend, I'll lose the nerve I have altogether.
"Whatchya reading?"
Tess peers over, her thumb sliding up from the bottom of the page to hold her spot.
"A book," she says with a gentle smile. Her tone isn't short, but her answer is, and a nervous energy I've never felt on a travel day rises to the surface.
It mixes with the guilt I feel for putting her in this same situation.
"What's it about?"
Her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink as the cover slowly falls shut. It's black—almost made to appear leathery—with dead red roses and smoke swirling around a weathered skull wearing a gold crown.
"The Book of Kings?"
She nods, snapping it open again, her eyes glazing over the words. When she glances up and sees me still staring at her, waiting, she swallows hard.
"It's uh, about motorcycles."
"Motorcycles?"
"Mhmm"
I hold my gaze.
"A romance—Lock and Nina's. It's a little dark," she admits.
"Uh huh," I say hesitantly, lingering for her to tell me what I already know. I tend to lean more memoir or historical fiction, but I know the section of the bookstore I'd find that one in.
Her eyes dart from me to the page, then back again, and when the corners of my lips curl up, she sighs. "It's about a tattooed motorcycle club president who meets the snarky new girl in town and shows her his business—in more ways than one."
My smile fades, my eyes growing wide as I yank my neck back. "I hope you don't plan on letting my daughter read over your shoulder."
Tess's mouth drops open, her face turning redder, but this time it's not out of embarrassment. "Liam, I would never do that. And the fact that you would even—"
"Tessa."
She freezes when I say her name.
"I was kidding."
Her whole body relaxes for just a moment until it tightens again as she realizes the mistake she made.
"Shit." Her hand flies to her mouth. "Shoot.
Sorry." She starts flailing, pulling her purse out from under the seat in front of her and shoving the book inside.
She clips the pages once, twice, before it finally goes in safely—and a little bent.
"Hey…" I reach out on instinct and put my palm on her arm. She freezes and so do I, but not for the same reasons. Touching her sends a shiver down my spine I can't quite place.
Because I'm anxious? Because it's foreign? Because… I liked it?
Tess swings her head my way. "Are you okay?" I ask.
The pink returns to her cheeks as she clenches her jaw, then sighs. "I'm fine. Just a rough day. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you."
I want to tell her I understand. That I've treated her the same way over a rough few weeks. It's right there—on the tip of my tongue. But I don't. Because I'm... scared?
Instead, I grin, and turn back toward the front of the plane. Tess does the same, sinking into the seat and clasping her hands in her lap. I look around the plane like I'm searching for Ruthie, but really it's an excuse to take her in.
She really is stunning, which feels safe to say considering it's obvious.
Her hair is folded into a braid—one of the handful of ways I've seen it, always pulled back.
And the hoodie she's wearing somehow only enhances her beauty.
Like she doesn't need anything fancy or expensive to accentuate her features.
Her eyes are my favorite green—the kind that you can never quite pin down.
Sometimes they're more gold, sometimes almost teal.
The same way Ruthie's are depending on what she's wearing.
But the best thing about Tess—the most attractive part of her—is her smile. It's straight and white, but it's also always there—soft, gentle, lingering like her lips are permanently curled. Her face is always welcoming and approachable. Like she's consistently a safe space to land.
I realize now, seeing it once again as her head lolls back and her eyes sink shut—that's why I was so thrown off when it wasn't there earlier.
I was lost without it.
And that's why I find myself wanting to pull it out of her again.
I lean over the empty seat between us. "You can say shit by the way," I whisper.
Tess's eyes pop open, and she leans in too, closing most of the gap between us.
Her sweet scent hits me like it hasn't yet tonight, and her ever-changing eyes lock in on mine. I physically feel myself attempting to avoid noticing her. Like my mind and body are trying to reset back to factory settings like they have so many times in the last eleven years—in the last two weeks.
But somehow her pull is stronger than I've felt before. Heavier. And I almost move back again.
But I don't.
"Or ass or hell," I continue. "Even f…" The next word fades as it gets stuck in my mouth—a warning from my own mind that saying it this close to her will trigger something else in me I'm not ready or willing to handle right now.
I clear my throat and sit back in my seat. "Bitch," I say instead, my voice still low. "If you want to… just not around my kid."
I smile, and she laughs, and I almost feel rewarded.
"I'll keep that in mind."