The Last Guy You Kiss

Nine

NINE

W hat isn’t the emergency? Jay almost snorted as he led Mara through the beach, past the property line of her hotel and the approximate fifteen steps to his. As it turned out, the best man could not have come at a better time.

The wedding was tomorrow, and Mon, their unofficial officiant, and his plus-one, Olivia, weren’t arriving until two hours before. A last-minute preproduction meeting for Olivia’s latest project meant the soonest they could leave Manila was tomorrow. Luna had seen Alex try on her wedding outfit and cried in a shocking bout of hysterics because she couldn’t conceive anyone being “prettier than her.” Red tide hit Aklan so half the seafood was no longer available, and neither Alex nor Tori had finished writing their vows.

All these things he could handle. Jay was a finance guy; he knew how to handle disastrous situations when someone was yelling at him from halfway across the world on two different phones. The key to managing a situation was to, one, decide if the problem was something you could fix, and two, if you couldn’t fix it, find someone to do it.

So far he’d been doing well—Mon was in charge of figuring out timings and keeping them updated if there were any changes. Ate Irene was with Luna, distracting her with a treat from Jonah’s Fruit Shake while trying to explain to her daughter that more than one person could hold the crown of “pretty.” He’d spoken to the chef and recalibrated the menu for taste testing tonight, and tasked the maid of honor, Ava, and Scott on locking their friends in their rooms until vows were written.

Things were fine. Things were under control.

But everything changed when the flowers attacked. Sorry. Arrived.

Jay instantly knew that there was only one person on this island that he could trust to help. Lucky for him, she was right there wearing a red bikini while lounging on the beach.

Logically, Jay knew that the possibility of seeing Mara Barretto in a bathing suit was pretty high considering they were on an island made for bathing. But thinking something logical was completely different from something being actually true, and Jay found that out the, uh, slightly hard way when he saw Mara on that lounger. Slow down, boy.

It did things to him, seeing her body facing the sun, the lazy way she stretched. The suit clung to the softness of her, and he wanted to hold her, revere her curves. He wanted to wrap his body around hers, kiss the skin on her generous cleavage. Mara had looked so content lying on that lounger. He almost curled up next to her to take a nap.

Almost. Because he was a good best man. And the best of men risked the ire of women they wanted to sleep with to help brides out of a tight spot.

“I’m sorry I’m pulling you out of your vacation,” he said. At least he knew what he was doing wrong this time.

“I know you wouldn’t have done it unless it was really important,” Mara said dismissively, tightening the knot of her sarong on her waist. Jay already missed the skin her bikini had exposed, that space under her breasts, and the top of her waist, lined with stretch marks and itching for his touch. “What happened?”

“Well—” he cleared his throat “—that.”

They crossed a low line of strategically planted beach fauna to enter Shorewinds’s open air space, one that doubled as their restaurant. They were immediately greeted by the chaos of the flower company staff moving its blooms in to the venue, restaurant staff telling them they couldn’t and diners eyeing the scene unfold with the interest of old men watching construction sites in their spare time. Tension was getting thick as the oppressive beach heat only made everyone more irritable.

“Apparently the supplier got the dates confused and delivered the flowers today.” Jay spoke quickly as they rushed in to diffuse the tension. “I couldn’t get them to take it back because apparently the owner has a job in Cebu and is currently on a plane. So I—”

“Haven’t told the couple, have you,” Mara guessed, assessing the situation.

“Neither of them have finished writing their vows! And it’s not a huge emergency yet.”

“This is pretty huge, Jay.” Mara held her hands out at the unfolding situation.

“That’s why I called the best florist I know.” He winked.

“It’s floral designer,” Mara corrected him, rolling her eyes. But it lacked any kind of heat and so he took it as affectionate. She sighed and surveyed the situation again. “But you’re right. You are so lucky I came.”

“I know I am.” He grinned at her, because what was a better inducement than charm and total honesty? It was all he had, really.

“Boss,” one of the flower guys called, apparently recognizing Jay. His eyes widened at the sight of a whole fucking arch being unloaded from the back of a small truck. “The waiters said we can’t set up.”

“Sabi ko sayo, sir, this is a dining area ,” the waiter said, sounding exasperated.

The flower guy responded with a roll of his eyes, muttering something about “eto pala si Optimum Pride eh,” which was both funny and a sure sign that patience was wearing thin on both sides. Jay really needed to come up with something before his charm stopped working on either party.

“Should I call the manager?”

“Huy, mga lodi, let’s chill!” Jay held his hands out to calm the situation, giving both sides an amiable smile. He turned to the flower guys. “I really need these flowers, but I don’t need them until tomorrow. Can’t you come back tomorrow to set up? As you were scheduled to do?”

The flower delivery guy shook his head. “No can do, boss. We have a wedding at Shang tomorrow. We deliver these today or your event doesn’t have flowers.”

“Where’s your room?” Mara asked suddenly, looking around the place. Was she giving up already? “Shorewinds only has villas, right? We can move the flowers there and figure it out tomorrow.”

Genius. Mara Barretto was a genius, and Jay wanted to kiss her.

“You think all this will fit?” Jay asked doubtfully, waving his hand at the nosegay (nosegay?) of flowers that was building up literally at their feet.

“We’re going to have to make them fit.” Mara’s lips pursed cutely, hands on her hips. Jay grinned. The fortunate upside of this was that he was going to get to see Mara in her element, and he was surprised at how much even he was looking forward to it. “Is there some kind of layout or a plan for the event?”

Yes, there was. They also had a copy of the signed contract, which Mara quickly flipped through, her eyes squinting at the print. It was almost comical, seeing her with her sunglasses perched on her head, bikini and all as she examined the very serious documents.

“I also need to know when your boss’s flight lands in Cebu.” Mara frowned at the paper in her hands. “If the couple is hiring a new team by tomorrow, we need to enact a couple of these refund options. The contract says the install for the flowers is tomorrow, not today.”

Everyone within hearing distance winced. What Jay had told himself was a small problem was suddenly a huge one.

“I have a friend who has a floral design business here in Boracay. I can call to see if he’s available for the setup tomorrow. But for today, I can start on the wedding party bouquets.”

* * *

“Jay, what the fuck!” Alex lightly swatted his chest with her hand as the rest of the currently present wedding party watched the march of the flowers currently occurring in his villa. Jay gave a loud yelp, jumping back in shock at Alex’s sudden yell.

“What the hell, Alex! You can’t sneak up on me like that!”

“I have so many questions.”

“And so many flowers,” Scott commented dryly, moving out of the way of a staff member who couldn’t see much because the roses were blocking his view. Jay shrugged, although the effect was quite lost, as his shoulders were obscured by the massive buckets of bloodred anthuriums and pastel purple ranunculus that he was carrying.

“And zero florists,” Ava, the maid of honor, added, glancing nervously at the growing forest of florals. There was a holdup at the door. Inside, Jay heard Mara loud and clear, directing the people to keep things by event and by color, and—if it was for the wedding arch—placing them by the bathroom. Jay had been effectively unhoused in favor of party decorations.

“Floral designers,” Jay corrected her. Tori, the other bride, shook her head in disbelief at what was unfolding before them. Alex smacked his arm, telling him to focus, and he recoiled in surprise. “Aray! Hey, I got you guys a refund on the design fee!”

“Thank you for the money, but what about the flowers?” Tori said.

“Oh no, you don’t get the money. We’re repurposing the funds for a new investment.”

“A new what!”

“O-kay. I can sense this should be a conversation, not an announcement,” Ava announced, looping an arm around her cousin’s, the other around her boyfriend’s and dragging them toward the restaurant. “We should go see if the restaurant is ready with the new menu. Come on, Tori, I know writing makes you hungry.”

Scott was protesting that can they please not leave “because the drama is here !” but Ava probably was trying to give Jay the room to explain himself to the soon-to-be-wedded couple. “Best of luck,” she said.

“I’m the best man, I don’t need luck.” Jay chortled.

“I was talking to Alex,” Ava called over her shoulder as she, Tori and Scott left the vicinity of the area. Leaving him with one very confused, very angry, but still very cute bride.

“Jay. Sweet red bean. Idiot of my heart.”

“Oh god.” Jay winced. “Red bean?”

“You just made me one shot my vows. I am way too emotionally vulnerable to be calm,” Alex said, rubbing her temples and closing her eyes. She was stressing. He was doomed. “We have no flowers. No officiant. No oysters. Tori and I might as well just spend tomorrow swimming in the ocean! What the hell are we even doing here?”

Contrary to what Alex was saying, Jay knew that she knew that he was not an idiot. He also knew that his friend could be testy (and that was an understatement) when she was stressed, and this definitely counted as a stressful situation.

Jay and Alex met a few years back after being matched on a dating app. They gave it a good try, dating a few times, but called it quits and remained really good friends instead. Alex had gone to Bali for a production job and came back to Manila dating Tori, who was cousins with Ava and also in a barkada with Jay’s high school friends Scott and Mon.

Which was purely proof that the world of middle-class Manila was really not that big.

Alex and Jay were low-maintenance friends, the kind that sent each other memes and talked about shit every day, but never saw each other more than a few times a year.

Being Alex’s best man wasn’t surprising to Jay. Mostly because Jay was Alex’s last straight boy kiss before she decided to date women exclusively and met Tori on a work trip to Bali.

Yeah. Meet Alex Suarez, kiss curse victim number eight. Jay should really stop kissing on the first date.

So Mara really didn’t have to worry about the kiss not working out for her. He didn’t have metrics, obviously, but the successes happened eventually. Patience was a virtue, although he was pretty sure his teachers weren’t specifically thinking of this context in particular. There was nothing Jay could do about that for now.

Right now, Alex was on the verge of panic, and Jay needed to talk her down a bit.

“Hey, hey. You’re declaring to everyone you know that you want to wake up next to Tori for the rest of your life. Isn’t that beautiful?” Jay said, putting his buckets down to usher his friend next to him on the elevated ledge of the villa, facing the beach. Alex’s face stayed in a frown as she glared at the ocean, as if willing a tsunami to wash him away. Well, tough luck. “Well, it is, Al. You’re in love, and you want people to know, diba?”

“I do.”

“See, you know the words already! It’ll be easy for you,” Jay assured her, patting her on the back. “And don’t worry about anything when it comes to this wedding. Between me and Ava, we have it covered. You and Tori picked good people.”

“The best people,” Alex conceded with a little sigh. Almost like she didn’t really want to admit it. She shot Jay a long, assessing look. “You know I almost didn’t choose you.”

“Me? Why?” He pouted.

“You don’t believe in this stuff, Jay. You never have.” Alex chuckled. “And don’t lie. I have the receipts. All the lengthy conversations we’ve had about why you don’t believe in love. Literal nightmares you’ve had about it. Do you still get the one where you’re a hoarder?”

“I don’t think I was the hoarder in the dream,” Jay corrected, but just the mention of the nightmare made him shudder. “Families collect a lot of junk.”

The nightmare always started in the same place. Him kicking ass at a billiard table, which was already weird because he never played billiards. Then a woman would show up—he would never remember who it was—and demand that he go home with her. Only for them to pass through a door and into a room cluttered with, just, stuff. Rattan furniture that was frayed with even-more-frayed cushions. Pirated DVDs. Books, stuffed toys, cassette tapes. Cables. So many cables. Empty fish tanks. There was barely room to breathe.

And then the kids entered. Cute kids who needed food, needed him to play with them, needed his help with homework. Bills would slip through the bottom of the door behind him, all demanding to be paid. Then his phone would ring, and it was his old boss, yelling into his ear because he didn’t meet their targets for the quarter, why didn’t he meet those targets?

And just when Jay started to scream and want to get out, asking the empty air for his mystery partner to help him out, the door would burst open, and Carmi Martin as Jeanette Bayag from Four Sisters and A Wedding would walk in, saying, “Vanjour! Halu halu halu!”

That always managed to wake him up in a cold sweat.

“The nightmare lives on because you let it,” Alex pointed out, shaking her head. “And it felt like bad vibes to put the wedding sort of in your hands.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in vibes,” Jay muttered. He was a little hurt by the concern. “Alex. Just because I don’t believe it for me, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it for you.”

One of the easier lessons he’d learned in his adulthood was to let people be people. That included who they wanted to be with, what they enjoyed and what they chose to do with their lives. Mostly because it had nothing to do with him, and good for them, if that was what they wanted.

And if he was asked to help, then he was going to make use of every skill he had to help them out.

What he learned recently, after his long Tagaytay back and forth, after seeing Mara’s determination for her sister, was that having a wedding was a call for support. Asking people to come to your table and celebrate what they had. So when Alex told him she was getting married, he gave her his full self, his full support. Because his friend deserved nothing less than what made her the most happy.

It was that easy.

“I am here because I am your friend. If you said you wanted an Under the Sea themed wedding I would have asked if you preferred to be the Little Mermaid or Ursula the Sea Witch,” he said. Still pouting. He pulled Alex up from where they were sitting, each of them retrieving a bucket of flowers as he led her to his room. “What made you change your mind?”

“Because I wanted you to be here, duh,” Alex said, hiding a small smile. “And because you might be leaving.”

He didn’t deny that. After several emails and negotiations, a couple of video calls, Jay was offered his old job at a higher salary, to start sometime around Q3 if he wanted. His official word back to the bank was, “I’m considering the proposal,” and it was enough to maybe buy him some time. Some time for what, he had no idea.

But if his gut feeling told him “not yet,” he was going to listen. Maybe it was finding out he would have to pay 25 percent more on his old apartment if he wanted the old place back. Maybe it was something else he really hadn’t figured out yet.

“Also I wanted a cute flower girl.”

“Luna is the cutest. Can’t get cuter than my inaanak,” Jay said. He knew Alex was going to be fine, and if she wasn’t, then he was going to be there either way. “We practiced.”

“I know you and Ate Irene freaked at her reaction to me,” Alex said, “but I have to admit, I thought it was so funny. And freaking adorable that she wanted to be the prettiest.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to be as adorable when your guests are all watching.” Jay opened the door. Cool air blast from the inside, his eyes adjusting to the darkened room’s lighting. “I’ll introduce you to the floral designer. She’s amazing.”

“Before you think it’s bad juju,” Mara announced, not looking up from her spot on Jay’s bed, surrounded by deep red, pale pink and purple flowers, blocks of foam, rolls of pale blue ribbon and tissue paper. She was holding a floral cutter in one hand and a spray bottle of water in the other. Apparently she’d showered and changed when she realized the size of the favor Jay was asking. Her cheeks, a bit of her forehead and her nose were a little red from the sun. “Beyoncé is an excellent musical motivator, and Lemonade is an even more excellent album.”

Then she looked up, and Jay was struck with the urge to kiss her, to make her smile. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was formed into a little O of surprise.

“I wasn’t going to disagree, but personally I’m more of a Renaissance guy myself.” Jay grinned as Mara’s cheeks flushed red. He stepped to the side so he could properly introduce Mara to the bride. “Alex, this is Mara, she—”

“Huy, Barretto,” Alex exclaimed, expertly weaving through the flowers and arrangements scattered around the room to throw her arms around Mara, who smiled and hugged her back. “Seat mate!”

“Seat mate!” Mara looked just as surprised as any of them, scooting over to make room for her friend. Jay watched in equal parts amusement, fascination and a tiny dash of worry at what was unfolding before him, because it didn’t mean anything good for him. “Oh my god, I didn’t know it was you! You’re the bride?”

“One of.” Alex grinned, and there was that familiar, “I am so in love” smile that Jay had missed seeing on his friend’s face. “Wait, did Jay fly you in?”

“Nope.”

“Al, I love you, but not that much.”

“Jay knew I was staying in the hotel next door, so I was vacation-napped into completing the arrangements. My friend agreed to come in for tomorrow for the setup, and I thought I would get a head start on the arrangements.”

“Told you I had it handled.” Mara shot him a smile. And if his heart leaped in his chest at her little acknowledgment, he hoped it didn’t show. “How do you two know each other?”

“High school. How do you two know each other?” Alex’s brow rose, but Jay knew she was asking so she could tell him exactly why her friend deserved better, and not because she genuinely wanted to know. Alex was well aware of the existence of his curse. “Did you kiss her? Jay!”

“Alex, I can meet people without kissing them,” Jay sassed.

At the same time, Mara began to explain, “Wait, you know about his kiss thing?” Which made Jay groan and wish the flowers currently surrounding them would just bury him now, please and thanks.

“Marrying Tori tomorrow will officially make me number…eight?” Alex said, raising her eyebrows playfully at Jay, who only made a strangled sound that seemed to satisfy her for confirmation. “Have you—”

“Oh, no. I think I’m his first failed vector,” Mara said. He didn’t miss the flash of regret in her eyes, the little wince Alex made in reaction. “We’re friends. Right, Jay?”

“Friends that aren’t dating,” he agreed.

“Nobody’s made you sinok yet, huh?” Alex asked, giving Mara a friendly, knowing smile. Wow, Jay did not remember being that close to his high school seat mate. “Aww, beh. I know you’ve wanted it for a while.”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you still remember that.”

“Oh my god, what?” Jay asked, suddenly wanting to desperately be part of the conversation. “Sinok?”

“Just Catholic school girl things.” Alex laughed as Mara buried her hands behind her face, because she was still giggling and blushing profusely. Jay had never seen her so flushed. “We were made to sign chastity vows when we were in senior year of high school.”

“Not that any of us actually took it seriously.” Mara snorted. “I mean there weren’t exactly a bevy of boys waiting by the school gates, because—”

“Everyone was dating each other,” Jay said dreamily. The girls ignored him.

“And the teacher saw Mara’s vows and read them out loud to the class as an example of what not to do,” Alex continued, shaking her head.

“Look, in my defense, her chastity mad libs had a lot of room for interpretation.”

“Yeah, but we were supposed to write shit like, ‘when we’re married,’ or ‘when we got tired of masturbating’—”

“Ringing the devil’s doorbell!” Mara corrected her and giggled.

Jay had the sense that he was seeing Mara totally unguarded. Generous with her smiles and little touches, scooting over so Alex could sit next to her. He wasn’t going to lie—he was a little jealous. Alex hadn’t mentioned Mara around him before, and the way they hugged made it seem like the seat mates hadn’t seen each other in a while. Yet they were so comfortable with each other.

“What were Mara’s conditions to break her chastity vow?” Jay asked as Alex slid on to the bed next to her, their shoulders pressed together. Mara started grabbing flowers from her piles and declared that, lalalala, she wasn’t listening.

“We needed to list three whens, basically conditions to when breaking the vow was okay,” Alex started. “Instead, Miss Lover Girlie here listed three conditions to falling in love.”

“Love and sex were intrinsic to me! In high school. ” Mara gave Alex a scathing look, muttering something about not having proper sex education and having to learn it all from fanfic.

“First, kailangan there’s a magical moment .” Alex emphasized the words to sound like she was in a soap opera, or a nineties-era teen movie.

“Oh god.” That was Mara, still pretending to ignore them. She bent over, trying to reach for one of the roses, which was just out of her grasp. Jay plucked it from the bed and handed it to her. Neither of them caught Alex observing the interaction and trying to hide a smile.

“What’s a magical moment?”

“Oh, you know.” Alex waved a hand around. “The world falls away, all is quiet, ‘214’ by Rivermaya is playing.”

“Grabe ‘to.” Mara nudged her. “I’m more an Ebe Dancel girl.”

“The second condition. Mara, what was the second condition?”

Mara said something, but she spoke it so softly, and with her head turned away, that Jay had no idea what it could possibly be.

“Right! You said you wanted your heart to skip a beat.” Alex nodded.

Then she looked around the room. “Why the hell did we order so many flowers?”

“Because you love love, just like me,” Mara teased. Alex didn’t argue. Instead she started to wander the room, looking at the arrangements.

“Heart skips a beat. That’s easy enough,” Jay said. “And the last?”

“The sinok,” Alex declared. She then plucked a hot pink gerbera daisy and whirled to face them.

“The what?”

“Hup!” Mara made a little noise, like she’d swallowed air too quickly.

Jay’s brain did the connecting for him. Sinok. Hiccup. Mara’s eyes widened in surprise, and their eyes met across the bed. A magic moment, a heart skipping a beat and a sinok. All simple things that happened…well, most days. But as they gazed at each other across his bed, on a completely different island, Jay had a feeling that Mara’s high school self had somehow called to him. Dreamed him up somehow.

All she needed to do was ask. Out loud.

“Why are there still loose flowers, though?” Alex’s curiosity pulled them both out of the moment. Mara’s cheeks were pink as she picked up the bouquet she’d been working on, spinning it in her hands.

“Because we still needed the bridal bouquets,” Mara explained. “This is yours.”

She grabbed one of the roses, long stemmed, the big red petals clustered close together, and slowly teased open the petals with her fingers, folding it back to look less like a fluttering heart and more like one that was bursting open. It was captivating to watch. She added it to the bouquet, doing it a few more times before she held it up to her friend.

“Wow,” Alex gasped, taking the flowers and cradling them in her arms. The baby blue of the ribbon popped against the deeper berry flowers, a collection of gerbera daisies, carnations, roses and eucalyptus, and in Alex’s hands, it looked like a heart, bursting out with love. “Roses are my birth flower.”

“I remember.” Mara nodded, tenderness in her eyes. The look they exchanged spoke volumes that Jay only ever hoped he would know about her. “But I know speaking from your heart was something you didn’t find easy back then. Maybe the flowers can speak for you, you know?”

“Yeah.” Alex caressed the blooms gently.

Mara was so good at this. Jay longed to squeeze her hand, tell her how good she was at this, but let the two reunited friends keep their moment instead. “Seat mate. Come to the wedding tomorrow.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to—”

“I want you to,” Alex insisted, squeezing Mara’s hand. “I want you to meet Tori. And Jay doesn’t have a plus-one.”

Both Mara and Alex turned to him in varied expressions of, “Oh, I completely forgot you’re here,” and, “You are so welcome,” respectively. Jay narrowed his eyes at Alex in response, because he didn’t need her help. But this was Alex’s big day, and since Jay was fully committing to being the supportive friend (and honestly, because he would love to spend more time with Mara), he slipped his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“I’d love to be your date.”

And that, ladies and gentlefolk, was how Jay Montinola ended up at another wedding with Mara Barretto.

They both laughed about it, later that afternoon when Mara needed a break from the flowers, and after they managed to clear a path from the bed to the door. Jay had needed to run out of the room a few more times—once to taste test the food (amazing), one time to assure Luna that she was the prettiest flower girl he had ever seen, and one more time to grab Mara’s glasses from her hotel room. It was getting dark, and the hotel’s moody villa lighting wasn’t helping her.

“Let’s take a walk,” he proposed.

“But—” she protested, pointing to her small pile of arrangements. She just finished speaking to Kal of Tropikal Flower, and he agreed to step in and take over the contract. What Mara needed to do, and she was currently rushing through, was create the smaller arrangements using the buckets of loose flowers scattered around her.

Aside from Alex’s bouquet—which she thankfully took with her—Mara made a bouquet for Tori (with bright red gerberas in the center, a symbol of lasting love), a little basket for Luna full of purple flowers (no red for her, just so she feels a little more special), and boutonnieres for Jay and Ava, at the request of Tori. She still had a lot of flowers left over and was contemplating making Luna a flower crown when he decided she needed a little break.

“Oh wow, the people are out ,” Mara said as she followed Jay to the beach. It was sunset at golden hour, the island’s most magical time of day. So magical that it lured Filipinos from their hiding spots from the sun, just to bid it good-night.

The sky was a mix of pale yellow and steely gray, the waters reflecting a dull teal in the fading light. The shore had receded far enough that people still swimming looked like dots on a horizon, paraw boats and their blue sails even farther chasing the last of the sunset. Most of the sand they were walking on was wet and firm, but Mara suddenly grabbed his arm the closer they got to the shore as her feet sunk in fully.

“I can hold your sandals if you want to take them off. Least I could do.”

“One of many things you owe me.” Mara chuckled, using his arm as an anchor to keep her steady as she took off her sandals and handed them to him. She grinned as her toes sunk fully into the sand. He looped the straps of her sandals in his fingers and held a hand out for her, the two of them making their way toward the water to join the beachgoers’ pilgrimage.

“So,” Jay started, “Alex.”

“Yeah, Alex.” Mara’s face brightened. “I had no idea she was getting married. Which is what I get for not keeping up with people, I guess.”

“People get busy,” Jay defended her. Friends came and went all the time.

“That’s true. I used to think they just didn’t like me enough to stay friends with me. But nowadays, I just kind of accept that it is the way it is. People come into your life and sometimes aren’t meant to stay. The wrong thing would be to refuse them when they come back.”

“When they show up on your fast craft?” Jay asked hopefully. They knew they needed to talk about it, meeting each other. About the last time they spoke to each other, and what it meant that they were here now, on the beach together.

“Crystal kayak for the couple, sir? Sunset paraw sailing?” one of the locals offered. They shook their heads no politely. Eventually they reached a spot just far enough from the crowds, but still a good enough place to view the sunset. Mara breathed a sigh, and it sounded like deep, sweet relief. Or maybe like walls breaking down. “I was angry with you,” she admitted, eyes focused on what was in front of them. But Jay couldn’t look away from her cheeks, at the light that bounced off the tops of them, at the press of her lips as she formed her words. “After you kissed me. I thought I was angry that you just proved that I was undesirable, because I am apparently immune to your kiss thing—”

“Mara.” How fucking untrue that was. How utterly impossible.

“But,” Mara said before sighing so deeply that Jay wished he could smooth the creased lines on her brow with his thumb. He settled for squeezing her hand instead. Reminding her that he was here, that he would listen. “I realize I was more upset that you rejected me.” Oof . “That you kissed me hoping I would go away, and off to someone else’s arms.”

A chill went through Jay’s body, as guilt sank in his stomach. He’d been so concerned about making her feel reassured, feel good—and even that he’d spectacularly failed —that he ended up making her feel worse. Could he ever do anything right by Mara?

“Please don’t apologize,” Mara said. Like she could tell exactly what he was thinking. “You asked me why I was angry with you, and that’s why.”

“Are you still?” Jay asked, hope in his voice, small and yet so present.

Someone once told him that hope was not a measurable thing. It was there or it wasn’t. And just the presence of that bit of hope—like a bright sun in a darkening sky—was what drew people to the beach, couples to the shoreline, families to sit and play together. A person proposing to their person. And tomorrow, his friends promising each other forever, in a country that wouldn’t let them put it on paper.

“No,” Mara admitted, and the hope in his chest warmed him all the way to his toes. “I’m not angry. But I am tired. So tired of love, and I haven’t had anything to do with it yet.”

Now it was Jay’s turn to frown. How could she even think that? Mara, whose eyes shone when she watched her sister dance with her new husband. Mara, who made up the conditions for her to fall in love, without having any notion of it. Mara, who jumped into a job because someone needed her. Who deserved so much more love than Jay could give.

“Selena Guerro is my ex,” he announced. Mara’s unchanged expression told him that she probably already knew that about him.

“Weird flex,” she still said. Having the most familiar face on every billboard from Monumento to Pasay was no great feat in their circles. Not when Mon was dating an actress recently nominated for a SAG Award. But Selena’s name was everywhere, even for those who didn’t want to see it. “What kind of ex was she?”

Jay knew Selena before she became a household name. She was fun, liked to laugh and liked to dance. They were together for five years, when he just started working in Makati.

“The I-thought-I-was-going-to-marry-her kind of ex.” He laughed now, but he’d been completely serious about it at the time. That she was the one, that his life would revolve around proving to her that he was worthy of her love. It was only a matter of funds. Of time.

After the breakup, the ring fund quickly became “Jay’s Future Inaanak Fund,” which wasn’t due for maturity until Luna started grade school.

“The start of the pandemic changed things way too quick for everyone,” Jay continued. Some more than others, obviously, but this was just part of the story. “And the more protocols were placed, the more important other things became, and one day she called and said she didn’t miss me. That she loved someone else.”

“Ah, so she made that post.” Mara wrinkled her nose. “The hard launch of the boyfriend that went viral.”

Jay winced, because he realized the irony of that. Selena hadn’t exactly tagged him, but she didn’t keep him a secret, either. And in a post that first featured her with her new partner, she said all the things she hadn’t told him—that she was sorry, that she loved growing with him, but they had to grow apart now.

“She called your kiss her good luck charm,” Mara said.

That was where the whole kiss curse thing started. When Selena declared it to be the truth, that declaration gave Jay and everyone else the power to believe it to be true. It didn’t bother him at first. He leaned into it sometimes, just because it was better than making Selena the villain. It was neither of their faults that they hadn’t worked out.

“Oh, Jay.”

So wasn’t it even worse that he’d made a meme out of Mara? He was certainly paying karma through the nose now.

These were old hurts, ones that Jay didn’t carry around anymore. There were more important things to care about.

“Oh god, don’t feel bad for me,” Jay told her, shaking his head. “I wasn’t the same guy anymore anyway. Between taking care of Luna and my Ate, suddenly having a household that needed me, I changed. I was happy to change. But I wasn’t the guy she loved anymore. I was more scared that I realized that it was totally possible to fall out of love with someone so quietly.”

They had touched the top of Willy’s Rock now. Keeping a tight, but ephemeral grasp on the day. Jay sighed, willing it to stay just a little longer.

“My point being,” he continued, “I kissed you that night because I selfishly wanted to. And if Selena could make me believe that I could kiss someone into true love, then I wanted to kiss you and make you believe that you could, too.”

The sun faded away, and the island was plunged into darkness, the low bass of an unidentified song already playing from a restaurant in the distance. Suddenly it was too cold to swim, too dark to enjoy the beach. But neither Jay nor Mara moved from the spot. Jay could have watched years and thousands of suns set like this, their eyes to the wide, vast, endless sea, and Mara contemplating it all at his side.

“I’m not asking you to fall in love with me, Jay,” she said, finally.

“But—”

“No buts.” Mara’s lips formed a smile, but she kept her eyes on the horizon. “All I asked for was a learning experience. Hands-on experience.”

Yeah, he was at a loss for words. He kept trying to find them, but they would just kind of close up. Like makahiya leaves when you ran a finger across them, tucking themselves away until they were ready to open again. No, wait. He had a word.

“What?”

“Look.” Mara finally turned to him, her arm bumping into his as she hadn’t realized how close they were standing together. She didn’t move away, though, and touched his arm. “Thank you, for telling me about Selena. It makes sense, why you believe in this kiss thing.”

“Thank you.”

“But you not thinking that you’re capable of love, or think that you can’t decide to choose someone, or that you can change without another person knowing… I personally think that’s bullshit.” Mara squeezed his arm, as if trying to soften the blow of her words. It helped. “But that’s your journey.”

“It is?” he asked, his voice sounding too small in his own ears.

“Of course. It’s how you feel. To be honest, I don’t know how this will make me feel. I always thought I wasn’t the kind of person who could separate love and sex, but I could be wrong.” The hand that was on his arm moved to his chest, to touch the hem of his sleeveless shirt. “This doesn’t need to change us. It can just be about experiencing this. Each other.”

“I’ll be your first,” he warned her. She was still fascinated by his shirt, and his body shivered when her fingertips made contact with his collarbone. She nodded, but she was smiling, as if she knew he was going to say that. “You’ll be emotional.”

“You’ll be crazy for me.” She snorted, like just the thought of it was completely ridiculous to her. “But you’ll be good for me.”

“You’ll fall in love with me,” he said. Warning her again. Her last chance to tell him to stop, to back off, to walk away from this.

“I think you’ll fall first,” she told him, looking up to meet his gaze, her eyes sparkling with mischief and desire. Jay’s heart stuttered in his chest, very confused, but very, very turned on. He felt a little lost as to where this was going to go.

But Mara was never one to be lost. Her hand splayed over the front of his shirt, and she gently tugged at the material to get him to bend down and kiss her.

The kiss felt like relief. Like a breath taken after holding it for much too long. Jay wrapped his arms around her, keeping the hand gripping her sandals low as his other slung around her neck. He was trying to keep the kiss gentle, like a first kiss you would give a date.

Although. This wasn’t their first kiss anymore, was it?

He kissed her harder, deeper, and Mara opened up to him. She gripped him tightly, trying to keep them steady even as she tried different angles, copied the way he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. He wanted her to leave her mark on him, on his skin, with her lips.

Mara pulled away suddenly, quickly, her eyes wide like his very thought had projected into her brain to scandalize her. But just as Jay was about to ask if she was okay…she hiccuped.