Chapter Nineteen
Erin was surprised and a little put out when Adam arrived at book group on time the following day.
She hadn’t slept well after her talk with Jack, and she was utterly drained.
Now he knew, there was more urgency to tell Riley and the others, but every time she thought of it, tears bubbled inside her.
She was going to miss her self-imposed deadline because she was too weak to get the words out without crying.
Was it any surprise her business had failed with a coward like her at the helm?
‘Good to see you, young man,’ said Joe.
‘We missed you,’ said Mercy. There she went again, thought Erin, telling him he was missed, when really, things were no different with him around. She corrected herself. Things were better before he came along and changed things up. Much better.
‘How’s everyone getting on with their last pages?’ he said, and Erin wanted to scream. This was her book group, not a writing group. She’d started it ten years ago, before anyone had heard of Adam Bloody Darling.
Susan’s face lit up. ‘I’ve made a practical start,’ she said. ‘Yesterday Erin and I went on a perfume-making course.’
‘Is that right?’ There was delight in Adam’s voice and Erin could feel him turn to look at her. She kept her eyes on Susan.
‘It was brilliant,’ Susan gushed. ‘I feel like I’ve found my calling.’
‘Amazing,’ he said. ‘I’m impressed.’ Erin dug her nails into the soft flesh of her palm.
Who was he to praise her friends? She wanted to put a spike in their adulation of him right now by telling them all what he was really like.
He was cut from the same cloth as Andrew.
He wasn’t the fine, upstanding man everyone thought he was.
He was a feckless deserter of children, a man who put his own selfish needs above those of his son and the woman who raised him.
‘And I’m thinking about booking my first trip.
’ Mercy sounded like an excited child who wanted some of the teacher’s praise for herself.
The delight in Mercy’s voice melted Erin’s fury a little.
She had to concede, albeit reluctantly, that the writing exercise had done some good when she saw how Susan and Mercy were glowing.
‘I’m planning to go to Kenya in September. ’
‘Kenya, wow,’ Erin said. Mercy had played it safe all the time Erin had known her, and now she was jetting across the world. It sounded terrifying, but that made it all the more impressive. ‘That’s fantastic.’
‘I’m thinking, go big or go home,’ Mercy said, chuckling.
‘My parents talked so fondly of their birthplace, and I have relatives I’ve never met, so I thought, why not start my adventures there?
’ Her face turned serious. ‘I wanted to read a few books to give me a feel for the place, so I went to see Jakub at the library.’ She sat back and crossed her arms over her soft chest. ‘You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a novel set in Kenya that isn’t written by a white author. Can you think of any?’
Erin glanced across at the wall of books, hoping for inspiration, but nothing jumped out. After a quiet moment, she viewed the group’s perplexed faces and realized none of them could either. ‘I can’t, I’m afraid. That’s not good, is it?’
‘The only books set in Kenya I can think of are Out of Africa, and Born Free.’ Susan grimaced, ‘Which rather proves your point, doesn’t it?’ The others mumbled in agreement.
The broad smile returned to Mercy’s face.
‘Jakub has sent me on a mission to find the best books by local authors recommended by the people I meet when I’m travelling.
He’s going to set up a corner of the library with books from around the world.
He’s going to call it Mercy’s Corner.’ She slapped her hands down on her thighs and rocked forwards, her glee palpable.
‘That’s incredible,’ said Erin, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.
‘You’re fulfilling your dream and you’re creating a legacy here in the UK that will benefit so many other readers.
I feel quite emotional about that.’ She had to stop herself from gazing around at her mother’s legacy, her heart aching with the knowledge it was slipping through her fingers.
She used to think of the café as somewhere people could get away from the stresses of the world and find comfort.
Now, as she took in the prints on the walls that needed dusting, and thought about the coffee machine that needed descaling, she felt exhausted, and that was before she even considered what was coming. The weight of it all was crushing.
‘And I’ll have my blog,’ Mercy said. ‘I’m going to have a book section on there.’ The pride in her eyes was a joy to see. She’d always been a lively, positive woman, but now she had this new purpose, she seemed to literally glow.
The door opened and Riley walked in, followed by Tybalt, who stopped to shake droplets of moisture from his fur. ‘Sorry I’m late.’ There was an unusual slouch in her gait.
‘You okay?’ said Erin. She went to the kitchen to get a towel, then caught Tybalt and rubbed him a little dryer before he jumped onto Joe’s lap. She threw the towel to Joe, who carried on drying the cat as Tybalt batted the cloth away with his paw.
‘Yeah. It’s been a good day.’ Her flat tone suggested otherwise. She flopped into the empty armchair.
‘Are you sure?’ said Hafsa.
‘I was buzzing earlier,’ she said, smearing raindrops across her claret faux-leather jacket. ‘A promoter’s been in touch about getting me some gigs.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ said Erin. This was Riley’s dream. ‘So, why the glum face?’
‘I went around to Chegs’ to tell him, but Teagan was there. Apparently, her parents have kicked her out for trashing their place when she was coked up with her mates, so she’s staying at his for a bit.’
‘Oh.’ Erin thought back to the entitled girl who’d expected to eat at the café for free. ‘You didn’t know she was staying with him before you got there?’
Riley shook her head. ‘And she was wearing this tiny little pyjama suit thing that was practically underwear.’ She glanced up. ‘I mean, I’m not slut-shaming her, or anything. She can wear whatever she wants, it was just a surprise to find her on my boyfriend’s fucking couch like that.’
‘Understandable,’ said Susan. ‘Was Chegs at least happy about your news?’
‘Chegs?’ asked Adam.
‘My boyfriend’s called Lawrence Chegwin, but everyone calls him Chegs,’ Riley said, before turning back to the group. ‘After I told him, he googled the promoter and said he’s not that big in the industry, so that took the edge off it a bit.’
Erin would quite happily have smacked Chegs in the mouth. ‘But he approached you. That’s amazing. It could be the start of something very exciting.’
Riley’s eyes brightened. ‘Maybe.’
‘And one gig will lead to another,’ said Hafsa. ‘When everyone sees how good you are.’
‘Soon, you’ll be booked up every night. You’ll be going on world tours,’ said Mercy. ‘I’ll come and see you in cities around the globe.’
Erin imagined Riley going on a world tour. That would be incredible. It occurred to her that it would also mean Erin wouldn’t have to tell her that she had to let her go. That would be a huge relief. She gave her head a shake. What a wimp she was.
‘Will you still speak to us little people when you’re famous and on Letterman, and such like?’ said Joe, and Erin loved each and every one of them for giving their friend the kind of boost she deserved.
‘Shut up,’ said Riley, squirming in her seat. She glanced up, shyly. ‘It is pretty fucking cool, isn’t it?’
‘It’s brilliant,’ said Adam. ‘There’s nothing like making your living from something you love.
The creative industries are tough, but it’s totally worth it.
’ He paused. ‘And I hope I’m not speaking out of turn, but shouldn’t your boyfriend be your biggest cheerleader?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but he sounds like a bit of a … well, a bit of a dick.’
That was rich, thought Erin. It was all she could do not to say, takes one to know one.