Chapter Forty
‘That was wonderful,’ said Susan. ‘You’re an inspiration, Joe. I hope I’ve got half your energy and positivity when I’m your age.’
‘You’ll be running your global perfume company from your super-yacht, by then,’ said Riley.
Susan held up both hands to show crossed fingers. ‘Who’s next?’
‘I’ll go,’ said Adam. He wiped sweat from his forehead and coughed a brief laugh. ‘Is it warm in here?’
‘You’re not nervous, are you?’ said Mercy. ‘You’re the only real writer here.’
‘Ahem,’ said Riley, giving her an exaggerated side-eye.
‘Sorry.’ Mercy lifted her palms. ‘I think of you as a performer, more than a writer, but of course you write brilliantly too.’
‘I’m only messing,’ said Riley. She turned to Adam, who was looking more nervous by the second. ‘Go for it, big fella.’
He cleared his throat, and it was all Erin could do not to reach out and take his hand. ‘Don’t expect too much,’ he said. ‘I’m definitely better at writing factual reports than stuff about …’ He wobbled his head. ‘Feelings, hopes, and dreams and all that.’
‘Stop hedging and get the fuck on with it,’ said Riley.
Adam blinked and started to read. Soon, his voice flowed less haltingly, and his beautiful words filled the room, making Erin’s heart spill over, as it had when she read them to herself.
This man was making himself vulnerable and he was doing it because he wanted to change the way he lived.
She could hardly believe her luck that he wanted her to be a part of the new life he was forging for himself.
She’d been a fool to resist him at first. Her feelings had been strong since the start and even just looking at him now, Erin was flooded with affection.
When he finished speaking, having left off the final line which Erin knew was meant solely for her, he looked up through his dark lashes, a shy smile on his face. ‘So that’s me.’
‘I very much like the idea of being in your flowerbed,’ said Susan matter of factly. ‘What a lovely metaphor.’
‘Possibly a bit cheesy,’ said Adam, putting the iPad down on the table and visibly relaxing.
Erin wanted to take his face between her hands and kiss him, but even though she was sure they’d all guessed, she hadn’t explicitly told anyone but Jack about their burgeoning relationship, and snogging his face off in the middle of book group might be an odd way to announce it.
‘Not at all,’ said Mercy. ‘I think it’s perfect.’
‘This is a good place to put down roots, my man,’ said Joe, stroking Tybalt and looking every inch a man who was happy with his place in life. ‘I’ll always be an Irishman at heart, but I’ve called this place home for as long as I can remember, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.’
Mercy put her hand to her chest. ‘And you’re going to be a grandfather. How precious.’
‘Yeah, I’ve been invited to the baby shower,’ said Adam. ‘What exactly is that?’
‘A dreadful American tradition,’ said Susan dourly, ‘where people buy presents for the baby before it’s even born.’ Her pinched-lipped smile was just about detectable. ‘But I’ll be changing my tune if Bella and Sophia ever get pregnant, I’m sure. I’ll be the one hosting it, probably.’
‘Unless you’re off on your yacht,’ said Erin.
‘Well, yes, there is that.’
‘I was hoping you might come to this shower thing with me,’ said Adam, his eyes on Erin. ‘Oliver said I could bring someone along.’
Erin’s chest expanded with delight. She was tempted to glance around at the faces of her friends to see if they were taking note of this new turn of events, but she didn’t.
She said, ‘Great. I’d love to.’ To prevent anyone else commenting, she turned to Mercy.
‘Are you ready to read your last pages?’
Mercy lay her hand flat on her pad. ‘Do I have to go after Adam? I haven’t got any pretty metaphors or similes to offer.’
‘You don’t have to go at all,’ said Erin gently. ‘Only read it out if you want to.’
‘And I’m certain mine would be eviscerated in a writing group,’ said Adam, ‘because it was far too flowery. And it’s not about the writing anyway, it’s about the sentiment.’
‘Okay, then. As long as you keep that in mind.’ Mercy wagged a finger at each of them and waited for them to agree before lifting the pad and beginning.
‘My parents were both born in Kenya, and that’s where my troubles began.
The stories I was told of wall-to-wall sunshine, of delicious food and auntie this, and auntie that, of cousins and friends, all much better than the people they knew here.
English tea was drunk, compared with brews from home and found lacking.
Always lacking. Nothing could compare with the colour, or smells, tastes, sights, and sounds of my parents’ motherland. ’
She breathed in. ‘You might think this would make me desperate to see this magical place with my own two eyes, but no.’ She lifted a finger.
‘Where here, my mother saw grey skies, I saw autumn turn to winter, as reassuringly predictable as night follows day. I knew the grass on the heath would turn brown in the summer after two weeks without rain. I was comforted by the sound of the train rumbling past our house towards the city I grew up in. The green leaves turning red and gold were my colours. London’s noise was the sound I knew, and the people I grew up with were my aunties and cousins, even if we didn’t share blood. ’
A sigh came from deep in her core. ‘If you grow up in a house filled with sadness and regret, you will do what you can to take a different path. I chose to take no path at all. I decided to be content with what I knew. The risk of travel seemed great to me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see more of the world, it was more that I was frightened to feel the allure of distant lands.
My parents had listened to the call, acted upon it, and never felt at home again.
I belonged here, I felt at home, and I thought it was enough to read about all the places I would never see.
But it isn’t. Not anymore. I want to experience Kefalonia, not just read about it in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin.
I want to go to New York, not just through the pages of Colm Tóibín’s Brooklyn.
I want to see Times Square, I want to see Japan’s cherry blossom, and then I want to come home again.
’ She turned to Riley. ‘So I want to thank you—’ she viewed the rest of the group ‘—and all of you, for making me think about what I want for the rest of my time on this earth. I have lived a cautious life, and it’s time for me to grab whatever years I have left by the throat and shake it.
’ She made a twisting motion with her hands and mimed throttling, while she bared her teeth.
‘Yes, queen!’ said Riley.
‘Good for you,’ said Joe.
‘Stop doing that now,’ said Susan, patting Mercy’s hands. ‘But, yes, that’s an excellent sentiment. Are you looking forward to Kenya in September?’
‘I am,’ said Mercy. ‘But that’s a long way off, so I’ve booked a weekend in Paris and four days in Venice between now and then.’
‘Wow,’ said Erin. ‘That’s impressive.’
‘Now I’ve started, I can’t stop. I’m like a child again.’ She closed her pad with a slap. ‘Now, who’s up next?’
Before anyone could answer, they all turned at the sound of the door opening.