Chapter 19
to be trusted
Returning from the kitchen, another session began. Callie’s suggestion to have sex on the kitchen floor and Jess’s playful mention of utensils only added fuel to their lovemaking. It was fast and direct this time, no edging, but still delicious and focused. Callie took the lead, but her play-by-play comments as she busied herself between Jess’s legs kept Jess caught between laughing and giving in to Callie’s very focused attention.
Suddenly, Callie bore down in a frenzy of tongue and fingers, and Jess, pulled from the hilarious but distracting banter, got pushed right over the edge. Her body shook, and the sounds she made were music to Callie’s ears.
The room was still warm with them. The sheets bore the imprint of tangled limbs, damp with effort and devotion. Jess lay back, breath slowing, body pulsing. Callie traced idle patterns on her stomach with one finger, dreamy and thoughtful.
Jess turned to her, “What…just happened?”
Callie snickered, “Yeah, it’s a win for me. I got to hear your bedroom voice, and then your over-stimulated hockey mom holler all in one go.”
Jess laughed, the sound hoarse and rare, “I didn’t mean to be so loud.”
“You should be loud,” Callie said, rolling onto her side, “It tells me I’m doing it right, and I want to earn the noise again. And again.”
There was the briefest of pauses, then Jess looked at her, the glint returning to her eyes, “You’re asking questions, now,” she murmured, pleased and grounded.“Because I’ve got a few.”
Callie raised an eyebrow, “Try me.”
Jess shifted slightly, her hand brushing the curve of Callie’s waist, “Do you always take your time like that?”
“Only when I care, and feel safe.”
Jess exhaled, low in her throat, touched by the sentiment, “What would you do…if I turned the tables?”
Callie’s lips parted just enough for her breath to catch. “I’d let you.”
Jess grinned like a fox about to pounce, “Let’s find out.”
She sat up, then guided Callie close, letting her straddle her thighs. Their bodies aligned, soft skin to slick heat, and they began to grind, with Jess setting the slow rhythm. Callie was surprised, given how they had worked out that afternoon, at the power that remained in Jess’s legs and butt as she rocked her hips, almost bucking Callie away, only to land again with a wet slap, and they continued.
Callie’s fingers pressed into Jess’s shoulders for balance. The motion was reciprocal, and Callie’s eyes closed as she relished the moment between them.
But Jess wasn’t done. With a sudden strength, startling enough to earn a squeal from Callie, she lay back on the bed and pulled Callie up by the thighs to land on Jess’ stomach. “Keep coming,” Jess growled, then lifted again, and Callie pitched forward, looking down at Jess’s face between her legs. Jess was already there, already devouring, licking, and pulling Callie’s clit into her lips. No hesitation, it was a seamless, shocking demonstration of Jess’s upper body strength.
Callie writhed, hands scrabbling at the headboard, thighs trembling as Jess kept her captured and drawn in. With every pull, Jess’s hands assisted in Callie’s thrusting. When her climax hit, it was sharp, wet, and unstoppable. But Jess held her tight, feeling Callie’s legs shake with each cresting wave.
Callie didn’t so much lie down as collapse. She was trembling, stunned, and looked at Jess, “You…did that on purpose.”
Jess popped up on her elbows, licking her lips, and murmured, “Taking notes, remember?”
Callie had turned just in time to see Jess’s breasts bounce. Her response was more of a primeval grunt, and she launched herself forward, tackling Jess back onto the bed with a crash of lips and limbs. The resulting kiss was feral, biting, sloppy, and desperate, with already bruised lips. Jess groaned into it, grasping her fingers, raking Callie’s back. Their bodies slid together, all friction and sweat and building breath.
Callie ground down again, finding that perfect pressure, then shifted suddenly, taking control, bracing herself, and grinding slowly. The room was filled with the wet sounds of need, the heavy slap of skin, and hollow breath. Jess grabbed her hips. Matching the movement, and for a long, glorious moment, it was raw, all need.
And then slower. A soft contrast to the animalistic humping. Kisses softened, and their bodies rocked in gentle waves.
“I don’t want this to end,” Callie whispered, her forehead resting on Jess’s.
“It won’t,” Jess said, “We’ll just…take turns.”
Fingers tangled, then found soft, welcoming places to rest. The rest of the night was ahead of them, no longer an anxious fantasy but real. They were learning about each other. They realized that the warmth they felt for each other was fueled by something that may or may not have been magic.
There was no need to hurry. But they didn’t stop either.
Jess walked back from the bathroom with towels and a warm washcloth, “We’ve got about two hours before the sun comes up. Maybe we should sleep? Brought a towel for you.”
“Mmmm,” Callie groaned, still flat on the bed and staring at the ceiling, “You’re an angel. My lips are bruised…all of them.” Jess set the towels on the bed and sat next to Callie, “Can I?” she asked, “tidy you up? Then we sleep.”
Callie was already drifting, on the verge of nodding off. She didn’t expect the warm hand towel. Unquestionably, not the bowl of warm water. She didn’t understand the sound of Jess dipping the washcloth into the water, and then, with the softest washcloth ever, Jess knelt between her thighs and began to wipe her down.
Callie jolted, not from pain but from emotion. Her hand flew to her mouth, fingers trembling. “What are you…?”
Jess didn’t answer at first. She kept moving, slowly and tenderly. Jess was touching her as if she were something worth preserving. Every inch deserved attention, and no part of her body was too much or messy.
When Jess finally spoke, her voice was the softest Callie had ever heard.
“You gave me everything. I take care of what I’m given.”
Callie turned her face into her pillow. Her chest stuttered, and the tears came too fast, hot, vulnerable, impossible to stop.
Jess looked up immediately, the cloth resting against the inside of her thigh.
“Callie. Hey.”
Callie tried to laugh and failed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it could feel like this. I’ve never…no one’s ever-”
“I know.” Jess moved up the bed and pulled Callie into her arms without needing permission. Callie melted into her like she’d been trying to do it her entire life.
“Guess I’m an aftercare virgin,” Callie whispered, “Is that a thing?”
”It is now,” Jess chuckled. “And I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.”
“You already have,” Callie sniffled, “and you didn’t even use the utensils.”
Jess kissed her hair, then her temple, then a tear track from Callie’s cheek, “Next time, we’ll try the spatula. Mmm,” she smiled warmly, “You’re salty. Let’s climb in.”
“Actual covers,” Callie mused, “But then I can’t see your body. Can I do the washcloth thing next time?”
“Before or after the spatula,” Jess joked as she lay beside Callie.
“After,” Callie whispered, but she was still dwelling on something, “The way you dropped my suit bottom. I’m never gonna forget that. Boom, and there I am. You’re fortunate I didn’t throw up from nerves.”
“Shocked?” Jess asked, then pushed a lock of hair from Callie’s face, “So was I. Even swatting you on the butt…”
“That was so cool,” Callie admitted, “this entire day.” She started to sniffle, “Jess, my whole life, right now…I had no idea.” She was quiet briefly, “and... so much sex. I’m drained. Literally and figuratively. My legs…are shot.”
“Okay, yeah,” Jess admitted, “we can go to the gym later. Work them out. Light squats, foam rolling, crying.”
“Is that what couples do now?” Callie asked carefully, then froze, as if the word had been too much.
Jess lifted her head from the pillow just enough to see Callie clearly, “Apparently.”
Callie stared at the ceiling for a moment, then rolled over to face Jess. “So…what are we?” She groaned, “Wait, shitty question, I don’t mean existentially. Sexually. Are we…? Like…am I the bottom?”
Jess blinked and smiled. “Depends, I guess. Are you asking because you want to be or think you were?”
Callie considered the question, “I think I liked not having to choose. I liked giving in, but I also enjoyed watching you lose your mind.”
Callie looked at her, “You?”
Jess stretched out like a cat, all long limbs and satisfied muscle memory. She turned to face Callie. “I like control. But I don’t like taking it from someone unless they want to give it up. I don’t need to be the top. I need to be trusted.”
Callie’s exhale was slow and soft, “Yeah. That. What makes you feel grounded?”
Jess didn’t answer immediately, but having drifted closer to Callie’s face, she backed away. “Routines,” she replied softly. “Hands in my hair. Zach used to say I’d stop breathing when I was upset. He did a thing with his hand.”
“Show me,” Callie whispered, but her hand was already moving. “He took your wrist,” she whispered, “and held you still.”
Jess sucked in a breath.
“You do it with Cam,” Callie said, “I’ve seen it. The night at the firepit.” Callie took Jess’s wrist and held it softly but firmly. “Let my pulse calm yours,” she whispered. “Is that it?”
Jess nodded, then blew a long breath before closing her eyes, “Or at least bring me down out of panic mode,” Jess said quietly.
“Strong,” Callie said after a moment, adjusting her fingers along Jess’s wrist. Diagnosing, her eyes flashing even in the dim light, “Vital,” she added, then snickered, “recently stimulated.”
“Oh my goodness, yes,” Jess smiled, then let Callie keep her grip. She turned around and snuggled up against Callie, bringing her hand between her breasts, and sighed.
Callie moved closer, nestling in, “I’ve never spooned someone who mattered.”
Keeping Callie’s hand, Jess turned back, her lips puckering. After a brief kiss, Jess turned back over. Her shoulders and chest rose and fell with a profound sigh as she kissed Callie’s hand, “You matter now.”
Sleep came for them, earned, gloriously soft and warm. It would truly be a new day.
The third time Jess hit the snooze button, she didn’t even pretend it was an accident. The room was still dark and quiet, warm with the scent of skin and leftover jasmine.
Callie was wrapped around her from behind, one leg tangled over Jess’s hip, breathing slow and deep. Jess felt as if she had been folded into something sacred, and for once, no memories clawed. Just welcomed weightless silence.
She stirred gently, pressing a kiss to the back of Callie’s hand.
“Time,” she whispered.
“Mmm-mm,” Callie hummed, burrowing in. “Not yet. You smell like sex and safety. Hit it again.”
“You or the snooze button? We’re late. Cam will be here in about an hour.” She rolled out of bed, dragging Callie like a flour sack. They stumbled into the too-bright bathroom together, naked and blinking. The shared shower was a clumsy series of bumps and nuzzles until the water finally cleared their heads.
Jess was toweling off when she caught sight of herself in the mirror and yelped, one hand flying to her chest, “What the hell…Callie.”
Callie, still dripping and smug, leaned close to inspect, “That one. I remember exactly what you were doing to me when I bit you.”
Jess stared, slack-jawed, then glanced down, “That was during? I thought I blacked out for a second.”
“You kind of did,” Callie said, grinning, and then, completely unbothered, stepped back, opened her legs slightly to gesture between her thighs, “Good thing it’s Minnesota, so we can wear leggings most of the year. You left at least two right here.”
Jess’s face flushed deep red, “Oh Jesus, you make it sound like a branding ritual.”
“I’m not complaining.” Callie kissed Jess on the cheek, “I’m honored. You remembered me in your body. That means more than anything.”
As she turned to grab the oversized tee she’d swiped from the floor, Jess caught a glimpse of Callie’s back and froze. “Uh, Cal…you might want a sweatshirt.”
Callie turned her head over her shoulder, “Why?”
Jess pointed. Just above Callie’s left shoulder blade was a vivid bite mark, near perfect in shape, gently bruising, and unmistakably intense, “I…I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Callie craned her neck to look, then reached back and touched it gently. Her expression changed to quiet wonder, almost sanctified, blooming into a fragile, joyful smile, “It’s perfect,” she whispered. “It’s proof. That you were here. That we really…happened.”
Jess reached out to touch the bruise, ready to apologize, but Callie took Jess’s fingers and pressed them into the bruise. “You weren’t thinking; you were feeling, and you left something real.” Callie’s eyes caught Jess’s, “Not to own me, not to stake a claim.”
Callie paused, swallowing hard, searching for the right words, “It’s more like…” Her lips curved in wonder, “You signed your work. Like an artist. And I get to carry it.”
Jess choked out a laugh, then cupped Callie’s cheek and kissed her, slow and awed. When she pulled back, her voice was rough. “Not mine. I won’t ever own you. But known. Chosen…” She blinked back tears, “Honored.”
Jess closed her eyes, forehead resting against Callie’s. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my power, " she whispered, “Not hurt. Not hide. Just…see you and make it mean something.”
Callie pulled back with the full intention of kissing Jess as profoundly as possible. A ping from Jess’s phone interrupted their thoughts, and Callie’s eyes went Hubble wide, “Uh-oh. Incoming.”
“Oh, God,” Jess responded as a deep blush bloomed across her chest, going all the way to her ears. Callie reached out and then looked down, realizing she had Jess’s wrist. They stared at each other for a second before Jess tore away to check her phone. She was back in the bathroom in seconds, wearing an odd look. “That was Cam. They are just waking up. He’ll be here in half an hour.” Jess took a deep breath. “He never does that. He just…appears.”
Callie regathered Jess’s hand, then gently took her wrist, “I’ve got you. We can do this.” She took a deep breath, looking into the bedroom. “Ready?” But Jess bore down on Callie’s hand, “Find a sweatshirt…with a hood.” Grimacing, her cheeks pink, Jess touched the side of Callie’s neck, “I signed you more than once.”