Chapter Eleven
~Seth’s POV~
The drive to Coronac was tense enough to choke on.
Bryan sat in the passenger seat, fists clenched on his knees, his leg bouncing so hard the whole truck shook. Every few seconds, he muttered something under his breath.
“I told you to let it go,” I said finally, done with hearing his mumbled curses.
Bryan scoffed. “Let it go? You saw her face, Seth. She looked like she was about to fall apart, and she still told him it was okay to leave.”
I gripped the steering wheel tighter, staring at the road. Her expression kept looping in my head. Over and over again. Her pain and guilt. Her sadness. “I know.”
“She was trying to make him feel better,” Bryan went on, voice shaking with frustration. “He didn’t even look back when he walked out. Didn’t even say goodbye. She said it was fine, and then she left so we’d stop fucking fighting. She’s not the one who should be fixing this.”
He wasn’t wrong. Not even a little.
The silence filled the space again, minus the moments when Bryan’s thoughts were loud enough for him to curse.
I kept my hands steady on the steering wheel, watching the misted road ahead. The rain had picked up again, light against the windshield. “You’re going to scare his neighbors if you go in like that,” I said quietly.
“Good,” Bryan snapped. “Maybe they’ll know what kind of idiot they’re living next to.”
I sighed. “You’re not helping.”
“I’m not trying to help,” he bit back. “I’m trying to make that idiot understand he can’t keep hurting her like this.”
That shut me up for a bit. He still wasn’t wrong. But anger wasn’t going to fix this either.
When we pulled up in front of Paxon’s house, the porch light was on, glowing soft against the drizzle. I parked at the curb and turned to Bryan. “Let me handle this first.”
Bryan’s jaw flexed. “If he says one stupid thing—”
“I’ll stop you.”
He scoffed but didn’t argue. While Bryan was taller than me, I was used to manual labor. I had no doubt I’d be able to handle Bryan if he decided to throw a punch instead of using his words.
I didn’t bother knocking. The front door wasn’t locked. He probably expected one of us to show up at this point. He knew what he’d done was far from okay, and we weren’t shy in confronting each other when someone was acting like an asshole. I pushed it open and stepped inside, Bryan shadowing me.
Paxon was at the kitchen table, a mug of steaming tea in front of him. His phone lay face-down beside it. He looked up, eyes already tired. “Let me guess,” he said quietly. “Here to yell at me.”
“Something like that,” I said.
Bryan barked out a short humorless laugh. “Oh, I’m past yelling. I’m ready to knock some sense into you.”
Paxon frowned. “I didn’t do anything—”
Bryan cut him off. “You know she told you it was okay to leave for you, right? Because you looked like you wanted to be anywhere but near her. And you did just that. You ran from her and she knows it.”
Paxon flinched. “She said it was fine.”
Bryan’s voice rose. “Of course she said that! Because she doesn’t want to make things worse. She already blames herself for everything bad happening between you and her and us. She’s taking it all as failure on her part. And you running whenever she’s ten fucking feet near you makes it worse.”
“Bryan,” I warned, grabbing his shoulder.
Bryan yanked away from me. “No. This fucker needs to hear it.” Bryan’s face was growing red with rage, his eyes practically burning.
Paxon pushed the mug away, his voice low. “I’m not trying to hurt her.”
“But you are,” I said, stepping closer, stepping slightly between Bryan and Paxon, trying to ease the tension between us before Bryan exploded.
“The point is that you keep letting her think she’s the problem.
You’re so wrapped up in whatever’s in your head that you can’t see what’s happening to her and to us. ”
Paxon leaned back, looking exhausted. “I like her. I care about her.”
Bryan snorted. “Could’ve fooled me.”
Paxon’s jaw tightened. “You think I don’t feel like shit already? You think I like this?”
“And what exactly is this?” Bryan challenged. “What the fuck is going on in your head that you’re willing to destroy Cadence over it?”
I exhaled, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Look. You’ve always been a protector in this group.
You always want to take care of everyone.
The one who jumps in when someone else needs help.
But this silence? It’s doing the opposite.
You’re not protecting anyone. You’re pushing her away because you’re scared of what happens if you don’t. ”
That hit something. I saw it in the way his throat worked as he swallowed hard.
I pressed on. “She’d rather end things with all of us than risk breaking the group apart, Pax.
That’s the direction she’s being pushed in.
I see it every time she watches us and she sees the strain in our relationship.
That’s her biggest fear. She doesn’t want to be in anyone’s way.
She doesn’t want to force anyone into anything.
She’s terrified she’s ruining everything. ”
He looked away. “Maybe she’s right.”
“What the fuck?” Bryan slammed both his palms on the table, making the mug rattle.
He leaned over Paxon, all his muscles straining as he held himself back.
“She’s not right, and you damn well know it.
You’re the one fucking things up because you’re too chicken shit to talk.
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to date her or not.
What I care about is that you’re dragging this out so long that it’s ruining all our chances.
Fucking man up and face your damn emotions already.
I refuse to lose her just because you’re too busy being a fucking wuss. ”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Paxon said finally, voice hoarse.
For too long, there was complete silence as his words settled around us.
“Then talk to her,” Bryan croaked out. “You need to talk to her and stop acting like she’s the one who hurt you when you know it isn’t true. She hasn’t done anything and yet you’re dragging her around.”
Paxon looked away from us, his shoulders slumping. “It doesn’t matter anyways.”
I frowned. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”
He hesitated, eyes darting toward the window, like he was looking for a way out. Then he exhaled slowly, except this time he was in his own home. He wasn’t getting away so easily this time. “Because I might not even be around.”
Bryan’s anger faltered, confusion flashing across his face. “What the hell does that mean?”
“There’s a program,” Paxon said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“An internship I’m being recommended for through the psych teacher at school.
I took his class last year and talked a lot about what I wanted to do in the future, and he’s been essentially mentoring me since.
He wrote me a recommendation for the program.
It’s tied to a university in Oregon. If I get in, I’ll have to move there.
If it goes well, I could work with a hospital to gain experience while attending school. ”
I stared at him, my brain catching up. “Oregon. That’s across the country.” That was the only response I could come up with, like I was breaking the news to him. Like he didn’t know where Oregon was.
He nodded. “I know.”
Bryan threw his hands up. “So that’s it? You’re just going to vanish? That’s your big plan? Fuck all your friends and family?”
“I’m not sure it’ll happen,” Paxon said. “But I can’t act like it won’t change things. You all have your lives here. She does too. I can’t ask her to wait for something that might not happen.”
My frustration finally cracked. “So your solution is to hurt her now before she even gets a choice? That’s pretty fucking cowardly, man.”
Paxon’s jaw twitched. He didn’t argue, which somehow made it worse.
I stepped closer, lowering my voice. “You still have time to fix this. But you need to talk to her. Don’t wait until she decides it’s too late for both of you.”
He didn’t answer, just stared down at the table.
Bryan muttered a curse under his breath and pushed away from the counter. “You’re unbelievable,” he said, shaking his head. “You think running will make it easier? It won’t. You’re going to lose her, and you’ll lose us too if you keep this up.”
Paxon didn’t move.
I looked at him one last time before turning for the door.
“We’re not giving up on you,” I said quietly.
“But you need to decide if you’re still part of this.
Moving to Oregon isn’t the end of the world.
People make long distance work, but you need to be ready to work for it.
If you don’t want to do that, then you need to let Cadence know.
I have a feeling she’s willing to do it.
She isn’t the type to just delete someone she cares about out of her life over something like that.
Look at all the shit her mother put her through, and she still continues to face her.
But if you continue to treat her like you have been, you’ll go too far. ”
When we stepped outside, the rain had paused again. I sighed and ran a hand over my head before going to the truck.
Bryan slammed the truck door as he climbed in, muttering curses under his breath again. I started the engine, too confused to yell at him about treating my truck like that. I tried to put the gear into drive, but my hands didn’t want to move.
I glanced back at the house, seeing Paxon standing in the doorway, lit up by the porch light. He didn’t wave. Didn’t move. Just stood there, watching us.
“He’s losing her,” Bryan finally said with a rough voice.
I wished I could tell him that wasn’t the case, but I didn’t know anything anymore.
It felt all too much like he was willing to throw away our friendship too.
I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, that we’d have our challenges, but I didn’t think it’d be like this.
I had never considered that maybe one of us really wasn’t interested in a poly relationship.
I had never dreamed of a future where Paxon and the others weren’t in it and now Paxon was challenging that oversight.