Chapter Twenty-One
Needing to escape everything and everyone, I found the quietest corner in the school courtyard.
Funnily enough, it was behind the big, dead tree that I used to always hide behind before I met the guys.
I tucked myself behind it, using one of the foldable chairs I temporarily borrowed from a nearby booth.
As soon as I sat down, I sighed and leaned back, letting my head rest against the tree.
The air smelled of damp soil. The sounds of the March Madness Festival were distant here. This was the first still moment I had all day. I just wanted to breathe without the weight of everything pressing down on me.
The grass crunched nearby, drawing me out of my wandering head.
“Figures I’d find you here,” Bryan said. His voice was easy, a low rumble that always sounded like he knew more than he let on.
I looked over my shoulder. “You stalking me now?”
“Please. I was hiding first,” he said, stepping into the shade beside me.
He glanced around before disappearing briefly and returning with his own chair.
He set it up beside me and sat down, stretching his long legs out in front of him.
He hooked his arm through mine and laced our fingers together.
My hand warmed instantly, making me realize I was colder than I thought.
“Needed a break too?” I asked.
“Surprised?” He raised an eyebrow.
I smiled. Bryan wasn’t much of a people person. As soon as there were too many people, he was trying to find a place to hide until it was over.
He chuckled. “Too many people, too much noise. I gave up pretending to socialize and care about every single charity in existence here about twenty minutes ago.”
“That’s new for you,” I teased. “You usually love being around people. Especially when you can buy them snacks.”
“Yeah, well, even generosity has its limits,” he said with a faint smirk. “I’ve already made a handful of donations, even more purchases, and listened to Toby talk about ring toss physics for ten minutes, acting like he isn’t struggling in his physics class.”
I laughed. “That’s impressive. More than I have it in me, frankly.”
Bryan’s expression softened. “You have a lot more patience in people than anyone I know.”
My cheeks reddened, and I glanced away, not sure what to say.
Eventually, I relaxed enough to lean against him and enjoy the quiet moment.
That was what I liked about the guys. With Bryan and Justin, I was allowed to just sit in silence and enjoy.
Toby loved chaos and sound, making our interactions full of excitement and fun.
Seth was a nice in between, happy with either.
Paxon liked excitement too but also had his moments of relaxation.
I didn’t want to think about him too much though.
The wind moved through the branches above us, and I was close to dozing off when Bryan finally spoke again. His tone shifted, quieter. “I got an early admission application result back.”
I stayed curled against him, knowing it would be easier for him to keep talking if he didn’t have to look at me and scrutinize my reaction. “Which college?”
“Northwestern.”
“Illinois?” I asked softly.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. My parents’ dream school. Top of their list since they knew they were expecting me.”
“Oh.”
He took a deep breath and then sighed. I could feel his body shift as his chest expanded.
“Do your parents know?”
He chuckled. “Nope. I’ll only tell them if they bother me to let them know.
I don’t want to go there. There are a lot of schools not too far from here and if it’s only a few hours, I can make that work.
I don’t want to go far. I know that sounds pathetic, but.
... I don’t want to leave, not anymore. My parents talk about me ‘expanding my horizons’ and all I can think about is how empty and miserable it’ll be without everyone with me. ”
I stared at the ground, pushing at a stick by my feet. “At least someone wants to stay nearby.”
“Cadence.” The tone in his voice was stern.
I glanced his way, noticing that he was frowning.
“We all want to stay nearby. That hasn’t changed.”
I didn’t respond because it felt all too much like a lie knowing Paxon was ready to run so far away. Instead, I said, “I think I might have an acceptance letter too.”
He blinked. “Might?”
“I haven’t officially checked,” I admitted.
“I thought I saw it in the pile of my mail, but I refuse to actually go through my mail. The email’s unopened too.
I can’t even check the portal. It just..
..” I exhaled slowly. “It feels too real, I guess. For the longest time, I didn’t think I’d even make it this far. ”
Bryan didn’t respond, letting me continue.
“I really believed,” I said, voice smaller now, “that I’d be stuck under Lindie’s thumb forever.
Or that something would happen to me before I could get out.
College was something other people talked about, not me.
And then suddenly, I’m given my future back and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with that. ”
When I glanced at Bryan, he was watching me in that way only he could. He wasn’t pitying or judging me. He was just seeing me. Simple.
“You’re here,” he said. “You made it.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Now I just have to figure out what to do with that.”
He nudged my shoulder. “We’re both a bit of a mess, aren’t we?”
“An understatement.”
“I don’t even want to go,” he admitted, his voice suddenly raw. “They’re going to remember eventually that they need to ask me, and I can’t imagine what that conversation is going to look like. I don’t want to tell them I’d rather stay. I don’t want to lose this.”
I looked at him, noting the way his brow creased, the tiredness that even his glasses couldn’t hide, the way he carried the weight of expectations like they were bricks in his pockets.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I’m sorry your parents are the way that they are.”
The wind brushed between us again, scattering small leaves at our feet. I shivered and pressed into Bryan a little more.
Bryan kissed the top of my head. “While I love this and don’t want it to end, I also know hiding from the charity festival isn’t the best plan either.”
“Yeah, but it’s a nice break,” I said. “I feel calmer already.”
He chuckled and pulled away from me, letting my arm free. I shivered again against the chilly air. “I wish we could keep playing hooky from our own lives, but Toby won’t let us. I bet he’s already searching for us and he’ll find us soon.”
I stretched and stood. “Fine. Let’s go find him before he calls the calvary.”
“Okay.” He held out his hand and I grabbed it. I let him lead me back into the chaos, trusting that with his ability to see over most people’s heads, he knew where to go.